(A/N) Christ, I'm going to have to take this seriously, aren't I? Alright, fine! You win! At this point, I'm not going to start editing the chapters or take this anymore seriously than I have been, but at the very least, I won't novelize the anime. Since it's gotten so good of a reception, I'll write out the plot I had in mind. If people continue to follow, favorite, and review this story, then maybe I'll go back and edit the first few chapters and turn this into a dedicated novel, and post an author's note explaining that I did so you can go back and reread the improved updates.

Oh! And in response to something review number 2 said: that is actually very close to something I had in mind later on. As for the orcs themselves, though... maybe when we get to the manga and their leader starts terrorizing the city again, but as for the episode you were thinking of, I'm not entirely sure yet. I mean, this did start off as a self-insert, even though Kayo did eventually become primarily his own character halfway through chapter 1, so taking on a group of terrorists doesn't seem like something he nor I would be willing to do. It is definitely food for thought and I will return to your suggestion when that episode comes up.

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Again, this is unedited and not proofread, but I still think it's pretty good. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Agent Smith gave us a few hours to wake up before she returned to our house to give me a basic rundown on Miia's "social studies field trips." I hated visits from Miia's case worker on a normal basis since Miia and I were almost always fooling around in some way, making us always worry about when we were going to be interrupted, but this one in particular made me feel like a jerk. Miia came to Japan to learn about human culture. Over the past two weeks, all we had really done was stay at home and make out. I had to be a better host. Agent Smith made sure that this guilt wasn't lost on me with her cold stare.

Although, to be fair, this could just be business as usual for her. There was no way for me to really know if she was here because Miia had been stuck in the house for the past week and was kindly reprimanding me, or if she gave the lamia a bit of time to settle in before she would strong arm her into going outside.

"So, in conclusion," Smith reiterated, "On your date- ahem -your field trip, you can take her anywhere you please as long as she consents, you must respect her wishes if she chooses not to go somewhere or do something, must protect her from others who wish to violate the law, and you must absolutely not take her to any love hotels. Is that clear?"

She glared at us from over her sunglasses and Miia nodded at her, agreeing happily and excitedly while I pondered over the finer points of her speech. This whole conversation seemed weird to me. Agent Smith worked for the government which meant that she had to follow the letter of the law no matter how much she disagreed with it, but despite that, I had to admit that her prohibitions seemed to have double meanings. Obviously, even if government employees are human beings. They may have to follow and enforce the law, but that didn't mean they had to necessarily agree with it, and I knew that Agent Smith's first priority was making sure the girls she looked after were happy, even if that meant occasionally taking a more liberal stance on the Interspecies Exchange Bill, and sometimes even breaking it. Her words seemed to have an underlying tone of "do what you want with Miia, but don't get caught," making it seemed like she actually approved my secret relationship with her, even if she professionally wasn't supposed to. She even called our field trip a date!

"So, what you're telling me," I teased somewhat, "Is treat her like an actual person and not a hunk of meat, or a toy, and with respect? Got it."

"And no love hotels," Smith repeated.

"You know, I don't really understand why Japan is so famous for those," I mused, "I get how our culture does condone that and all, and how we aren't really that conservative when it comes to sexual things, but it's not like they're a big part of our economy or anything. I can understand the use for them, but still." Agent Smith glared at me with a twinkle in her eye, making me flinch.

"With your internet history, that surprises me," she insinuated. I shrunk in dread at that statement, learning that they actually did check that black mark to my character, but also making me realize that they still approved my homestay application in spite of that. Miia blinked at me.

"Darling, have you been looking up something bad?" she teased me, "You're so naughty."

"Oh, indeed he is," Smith played, flipping through a notepad, listing several less than reputable and highly disturbing things that wouldn't be on the popular tags of any common website surrounding certain sexual topics. Towards the end of the list, she looked up at me incredulously. "Spider hentai? Really?" I straightened up at that one. Yes, I knew I was a pervert, but listing off my search history in front of Miia was taking a things a bit too far, even if she was rolling on the floor in mad laughter at hearing it.

With that, Agent Smith bid us farewell and left my home. After closing the door behind her since I'm a gentleman and walked her out, I pressed my head against the wall defeatedly and groaned. That was way too embarrassing. Miia was still laughing in the corner which made it even worse, but she was recovering now and had stood up, still clutching her side as she shook with her dying giggles. Once she was able, she slithered over and wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"It's OK, Darling! It's not like you're the only guy who looks up porn on the internet. Did you think I would like you any less after hearing that? Let's get going on our date," she said comfortingly, but I yelped when she reached down and grabbed my manhood at the last bit, "I want to see if we can add 'busty redheaded snake girl' onto your list."

Strangely enough, that cheered me up. Laughing, I turned around and wrapped my hands around her waist just below her crop top, running my hands up her sides and feeling her soft skin and scales that overlapped one another in that area. Closing her eyes, she moaned and leaned into me. Her hands found their way to scratching my chest while her snake half bumped its way in between my legs, slightly lifting me up against the wall as it did so. Her sides were a huge pleasure point for her.

"You're too much, you know that?" I asked her, smiling against her lips, "And I think it's safe to say that 'busty redheaded snake girl' is already on my list. I just don't have to look up pictures on the computer to see one." Miia blushed and slapped me playfully, probably bruising my arm with her abnormal strength, but I laughed it off since I had gotten used to that. "Anyway, we should get going. If she comes back later and sees that we're still here, we'll both get in trouble." At that, my girlfriend frowned and separated from me.

"Yeah, you're right," she whined sadly, but then grinned up at me, her hands linked cutely behind her back, "I'm going to change into something more stylish for our date!"

"And I'm going to get dressed to begin with!" I bellowed before running back up to my room as my pajama bottoms began to fall off.

I couldn't believe this would actually be our first real date. The concept was somehow both equal parts exciting and terrifying.

(...)

Walking down the streets of Tokyo, I expected to get some odd looks from other individuals in the city. With the Interspecies Exchange Bill only being three years old, and with the existence of monster girls being made known the public only shortly before that, humanity didn't have very long to get used to seeing monsters in their town. Needless to say, it was an odd sight for most.

When they saw Miia slither past, seeing that 20 foot scarlet snake tail hog up most of the sidewalk and seeing some more subtle monstrous features on her 5 and a half foot human half like her pointed red ears and slit pupils, their eyes would naturally be directed to her. Most were filled with excitement at her demihuman form and beauty, while others were filled with disgust, discomfort, and pretty often fear. However, with rare exceptions, their stares were always laced with an underlying sense of wonder. It made sense. How many times do you see a lamia happily eating ice cream and playing a claw machine in the local arcade?

Even though it was our first date, I wanted to show Miia as much as I could about human culture, and she eagerly followed alongside me, excited to see everything Tokyo had to offer. Our day was pretty full with all of the plans I had. The first thing we did was have a decent lunch at a nearby cafe, where Miia had to learn for the first time how to eat ice cream judging by how much of the dessert she got on her face. Even if that was intentional, I didn't call her out on it. How could I not take up the chance to reach over and wipe a sliver of vanilla off of her cheek and lick it off my fingers? After awhile, I think she began doing it intentionally.

Next, was a karaoke bar. Normally, those places were open only after the school day had concluded since high school students were their primary audience, but after various species of liminals began gaining an interest in singing for profit, karaoke bars became a 24 hour service. The biggest problem were that the rooms were still a little too small for some species. I loved cuddling with Miia, but her tail covered so much of the floor that I ended up having to be crushed under a good part of it so she could be comfortable.

In the words of Bravery the Fearful Ferret, "The things I do for love."

After that was the arcade. Admittedly, that one had been a bad idea. Miia couldn't use the racing games since she couldn't fit into the seats or stationary motorcycles, she couldn't play Party Party Rebellion since she didn't have feet to press the buttons, and even the simulators weren't an option since she was too big. It severely limited her options for playtime. Expertly, though, I was able to cheer her up by taking her to the classic arcade games and the prize winners like everyone's favorite- the claw machine. Not to brag, but I won her a stuffed worm, and a potato pillow.

All in all, for her first time in human society and experiencing it's gifts and pleasures, things were going pretty well. It wasn't until after we left the arcade when stuff hit the fan.

"Darling, look!" Miia called, pulling me towards a building, "This store says it's for all species!"

I glanced down at the chalkboard stand that was set up outside of the building and read that the words "all species welcome." Naturally, I accompanied her inside. When we walked inside, however, a lump formed in my threat and my face became hot when all I saw was lingerie.

"Miia, I don't think I should be in here with you!" I said to her importantly, but she was already digging through the racks. Almost predatorily, she bounded over the displays and rushed me, holding up a green lace bra, and a blue bra with a white bow in the center.

"Kayo, you know that you're supposed to follow me anywhere," she reprimanded lightly, "And I could really use your expertise on this anyway. I don't wear bras so I don't really know how to shop for one." Whether it was intentionally seductive or not, Miia pulled down the top of her shirt just enough to cover the good bits of her breasts, but low enough to where if she had been wearing one, the top part of a bra cup would have been showing. Either way, I had to mop up the following nosebleed.

Miia tried to pull me aside, almost yanking my arm out its socket with her superhuman strength, but I had learned over the past two weeks how to work through that situation. I slapped her hand. Hard. With a yelp she recoiled and looked at me, stunned, then balled her fists and yelled "Darling!" at me. I smiled and took her hand again, massaging it.

"If you don't know how to shop for bras, then I'm going to teach you," I told her soothingly, making her look at me in confusion for one second, then giggling at me the next when she figured out I was taking an interest in her, like all boyfriends should.

Seriously, why is that some radical statement? If your girlfriend is important to you, then show her by taking an interest in what she's interested in, even if you end up struggling to do so.

Setting down her hand so we didn't end up getting any lascivious or judgemental looks, I stepped over to a woman who had been working with one of the mannequins, a strip of measuring tape over her shoulders, and spoke with her for a few seconds, pointing to Miia. She was understandably uncomfortable at first. I was a man in a lingerie shop asking a woman for her assistance with tits, so why wouldn't she be? After explaining the situation to her, however, a look of understanding dawned across her features, and she bounded over to the lamia with a bright, fake, sales-womanly grin plastered on her cheeks.

I stepped aside for a few minutes. In this scenario, while the woman kidnapped Miia to a dressing woman, the snake glancing over her shoulder nervously at me before disappearing behind the curtain, the safest place for me was the waiting room. Any reputable underwear store always had one. They understood that not all pieces of women's clothing, particularly the kind of product this store had, would be worn for the woman's benefit, so they would always have a place for men to sit down while their girlfriends tried on what they wanted. Not that I minded the wait, of course. Even though most people wouldn't expect a 22 year old man like me to break the law and actually be dating a demihuman woman, especially one as gorgeous as Miia, that didn't mean that Miia wouldn't most likely be buying something with me in mind.

Chuckling goofily, I imagined her in a lacy black two piece with a lamia-styled garter during our first time. "Do you like it, Kayo?" she would say cutely while I stared at her from the bed, "I picked it out just for you." Suddenly, the woman I asked for help came out of the dressing room with a bewildered look on her face, stepping over to me with her hands on her hips.

"She's huge…" she told me, "She's a 38E. I can't believe it." I had to wipe off my drool, being one of the very guys in the world that would actually know what that measurement meant.

For those of you that don't, the 38 is the length of the strap, showing you how thin her upper torso was, and the E cup is one size above DDD for the actual size of her breasts.

"That is both incredible and highly unnerving, but I guess since lamias are 90% stomach and have the abs to match that the lower back pain wouldn't be too much of an issue for her," I noted, "Either way, why are you telling me this?"

"I know this isn't very common practice," the saleswoman said, referring to telling a monster girl's host family semi-sexual things about her, "But she said you have a good eye for fashion and she wanted your help with it. Just know that I'll be watching you."

I straightened up at that last bit. Miss Smith may have been one thing, being a government agent but most likely willing to sweep things under the rug for the benefit of the girls she took care of, but that didn't mean that all humans were OK with things like this. Just like interracial and LGBT relationships, many humans weren't OK with humans and monsters getting it on. To be fair, I did understand the viewpoint from either a racist or human purist standpoint, maybe even a religious one even though I wasn't religious, but I entirely disagreed with it. Miia's and my relationship aside, love is love.

The immediate issue, though, is that this woman was indeed one of the few who wouldn't be OK with a human-lamia couple, and would probably call the police if she saw something like that. I would have to let Miia know somehow. Frustratedly, more angry than worried, I grabbed a few bras I thought Miia would have liked and headed over to her changing room, knocking on the side.

"Miia! I've got some stuff for you," I said through the curtain, looking away as I shoved my hand through to hand them to her. Her face appeared after taking them, holding the blocker up to her chest.

"Thank you, Darling!" she said, "And it's OK if you come in here to help me. You do have to accompany me everywhere, after all." She said that part so coyly that I shivered. If anyone was listening in on that, they would have easily thought Miia and I were together, so I immediately backed away from the area and went back to the waiting room.

"It's OK," I said in a rush, "I'll just be over- gah!"

Much to my dismay, she ripped me into the dressing room with her tail wrapping around my neck nonchalantly as if I was some plaything. I struggled to rip it off of me. I was pretty sure the only reason I was able to was because she released me on her own because if people died fighting boa constrictors in Brazil, or wherever in the world that happens, a lamia was guaranteed death. However, that thought was lost on me when I saw Miia holding up two of the bras I picked out in the mirror, examining them carefully. She was topless. And bottomless actually. In fact, even though her back was to me and I was sitting on the floor of the dressing room, I still had the perfect angle of the full body mirror to see Miia's full frontal nudity in all her naked glory of nakedness. The woman was right- her tits were amazing.

Either way, I screamed and ran out of the room. I didn't realize that something sticky was caught on my hand until I had gotten aside from the curtain and was bent over, trying to steady my breathing and mentally relieve the problem tightening my trousers. Looking at it, it was some kind of triangular piece of cloth. It was white with a bit of pink trim coursing over it, and the back was warm and sticky like it was an adhesive.

"Darling?" Miia said, making me turn around to see her close to tears, "I'm sorry I pulled you into the dressing room with me, but… please give me back my panties."

I glanced back at the article of clothing I had accidentally grabbed. Honestly, I couldn't say that I hadn't wondered if she we wore underwear under her skirts, and if she did, then how she did it.

"So, that's how that works…" I said to myself in amazement.

"Baka!" Miia shouted, and next thing I knew, I had been rocketed through the doors of the store by a slap from Miia's tail. One EMT visit and $250 worth of ISEP expenses later, and Miia and I were walking back down the street as the sun began to set, heading home after a long day of fun. Despite the injury, this had been a pretty decent date. The only problem was that stuff wasn't done hitting the fan, and after the lingerie shop, it was going further downhill.

"Seriously, Darling," Miia scolded, slithering ahead of me with one hand carrying her bags and the other straightening out her hair which she did when she got stressed out, "I didn't think you'd steal my panties. You can be a real pervert sometimes."

"I'm not going to deny that statement," I admitted, "But you have to admit that for someone with two legs like me, wondering how a lamia wears panties is a very valid question." A cold chill passed over me when I realized that could be taken as a very provocative question for her. When she turned to me, a vile smirk breaking across her fangs again, she reached down and held onto the hem of her skirt, making that part pull up just slightly in the middle of a crowd of people since we hadn't returned to the suburbs yet.

"Well, if you really wanted to know, you could have asked," she said, "I would have been OK showing you, Darling." Before I could respond, an obnoxious laugh came from around the alley ahead of us.

"Oh my God, did that snake thing just call him Darling?!" some hooligan of a drunk guy bellowed, his arm around a rather ugly woman.

"OMG!" that very same woman yelled just as abhorrently, "That is so disgusting! I mean, could you imagine how sick you must be to want to bang a snake?!"

"I know right?!" the man volleyed, "He must have been born with the world's worst handicap to settle for that!"

I had had enough at that point. Miia was clearly being upset by these two, judging by the way her tail shook and her fists were balled, ready to take them down, but I wanted them first. She could wait.

"Ha! You're one to talk!" I shot back sassily, immediately sensing Miia calming down after I stepped in, "When you first showed up with that beast on your arm, I thought you were dating a gremlin! My mistake. Turns out she's just ugly." The pair's faces dropped in rage.

"What did you say?" the guy asked.

"Um, who the frick are you? Don't you see you're dating a snake?" the woman snapped.

"Don't you see yourself when you look in a mirror?" I mirrored, "I mean, look at yourself, and look at your boyfriend. Now look at me. Now look at the lamia, now back to me. Now look at the ground, then back to me. I'm flipping you off. Now look at each other, then back to the lamia, then back to me, and realize that the deep tan, blonde hair, and loose thigh high socks are literally the most hideous things you could wear and make you look like the roadkill I'd scrape out of the grill of my truck!"

I had pissed off the woman's boyfriend enough at that point and charged me. That was just what I expected. Unlike most people, I don't really act out of anger, and when I do, every single move I make is calculated to the smallest detail just to make sure I get the result I want. I took a lot of practice to get right. When I say "a lot of practice" think years about dealing with humans who all have free will and will never fit into the plans you have in store for them. That practice involved manipulating their free will to the point where I always ended up on top. I was a schemer. I was a slytherin, if you wanted to make that comparison, and had at one point been described as a machiavellian psychopath. When the hooligan grabbed my collar, I decided to show him just what that meant.

"You really don't want to hit me," I said in fake panic. The guy set his raised fist down and pulled me closer to him.

"Yeah? Why not? You scared I'll beat you down?" he said cockily. Admittedly, I thought about hitting him for that which would have been stupid. I needed to stick to the plan.

"Dude, you're twice my size and built like a freaking tank. If we ever fought, I'd be the one on the floor, and you'd be the one walking away. You and I both know that much," I pleaded, "But the thing is that Miia is a liminal with no other humans around. That makes me her host family, see?"

"Yeah, so?" the guy asked, not following. I expected that much and followed my impromptu script, everything going to plan so far.

"That means that attacking me, according to the exchange program, is the same thing as attacking her, and I know that you know the law," I said, referencing how protected the species was from assault from humans, "Once you beat me down, the cops are going to come after you, and you'll end up in prison for life." I saw the guy was thinking about that mark and I had to fight to keep my smile down. "Do you think a guaranteed win for one fight is worth life in prison?"

The guy set me down. Suddenly, everything that didn't process about the situation earlier was going through this guys head, the gears visibly turning in his head. I rubbed my neck and finished this off with one more statement.

"I'm sorry," I said, being genuinely remorseful, "I didn't like you talking about Miia that way, and I kind of lost it. Are we good?" I smiled and held out my fist to him. Having calmed down, he smiled at me and bumped it.

"Yeah, we're good," he said, "Sorry about that, man." With that, he put his arm over his girlfriend's shoulder and began walking off. Smiling, I turned to Miia. My smile dropped when I saw the disgruntled look on her face despite the impressed awe behind her eyes.

"Why did you let him go?" she asked me somewhat harshly.

"Because I don't really like fighting, and street fights are dangerous," I told her defensively, crossing my arms, "Believe me. You're protected by default, but if I fight the guy- and yes, the part about you and I being considered the same under the law was a lie -then I'm going to have the gavel come down on me pretty hard. It's better that I avoid that fight all together than deal with the consequences."

Miia huffed and turned away from me, crossing her arms as we continued down the road. She was trying to be upset, she really was. However, I could tell what was really going through her head by the way she slithered up next to me until her shoulder was pressing against mine. She almost pushed me off of the road.

"You could have taken him…" she muttered. To be fair, she wasn't wrong.

"Maybe," I admitted confidently, "The guy was drunk and had absolutely no professional training whatsoever, but that's exactly why I didn't fight him. I've been doing Muay Thai and Judo for years, but it's not in spite of that training why I calmed him down, it's because of it. Having that training puts a higher responsibility on me than most people. You should know that yourself, actually."

"What do you mean?!" Miia asked offendedly, looking at me with wide eyes. Smirking evilly, I put my hands in his pocket and bumped her hip affectionately.

"Oh, come on!" I teased, "You don't think I can tell you're some kind of martial arts guru, my lovely, little serpent? Please, I can tell that the same way we could tell that guy would be dead before he even threw his first punch." Miia huffed proudly. She had probably been training even longer than I had, and twice as hard, so she had earned the right to be proud of her experience just as much as she earned that praise.

"What did you say punk?!" I heard the same voice from earlier from behind as he heavily ran at me.

I turned and the hooligan raising his fist. Fortunately, I was right in my assessment that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing, and had probably never even been in a real fight. Violently, I pivoted my foot, grabbed his wrist, put my arm under his, and flipped him over my shoulder. He hit the ground hard, knocked out instantly. As his girlfriend screamed like she was in a bad horror movie, I stepped back up to Miia with a confident grin while she looked at me just as proud as she was of her training. She was even licking her lips. As we turned to walk back down the sidewalk, she jumped onto my back, her arms wrapping around my shoulders.

"That was so hot," she said huskily, whispering into my ear which made a shiver crawl up my spine for the fiftieth time that day, "When we get back to the house, I am going to rock your world."

(A/N) I'll be honest here, part of me wants to end every chapter with someone getting pleased. We'll see.