Chapter 1.

I woke up screaming. I had just dreamt that Edward had left me. But what made it worse, was that this wasn't a dream. Edward had left me and my life had become a nightmare.

The Cullen's had moved on. There was a patient that Carlisle used to treat, who was sick and would only have Carlisle look after her. Carlisle was just going to go by himself and come back once she had either got better or had died, but Edward talked him out of it and the convinced the whole family to move up there.

And why you ask did my perfect angel leave me. It was because of me. I had been having nightmares, hearing voices and seeing things that weren't there for a couple of weeks maybe months and Edward came to the conclusion that I hadn't gotten over the whole James fiasco and that my sub conscious was trying to deal with it. And that it was his entire fault that I was going through all this, which of course it wasn't. I mean it's not like he asked James to come and try and kill me, did he?

I sat up groggily and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, while wondering where Edward was. He had only gone hunting three days ago, when it was sunny, so surely there was no reason for him to go so soon again.

"Good morning my love." A musical voice said from the rocking chair. I didn't even need to look to know that it was Edward. There was only person with a voice like that, that could make my heart rate go up so high. "How did you sleep?" he asked with an amused smile, which I had seen plenty of times, which meant that I probably said something while sleeping, that had caught his attention. One of the downsides, not that there's many, about having boyfriends who don't need to sleep at all, which means that they spend the whole night watching you while you

Sleep. But even though I knew he was smiling over something that would embarrass me, I still loved to see that crooked smile, but something about it caught my attention and made me worry instantly, as the smile did not reach his eyes. No, they only held sadness, which is definitely not a good sign.

I so desperately wanted to run over to him and kiss away his sadness and make him happy, but I didn't want to catch him off guard, as I knew that could be dangerous so I just waited for him to make the first move.

"Good morning Edward." I said calmly, trying not to let the worry filling me escape into my words." I slept fine, thank you for asking. And please do tell me, what funny thing did I say last night, that's got you smiling like that?" I asked, wanting to get it over and done with, since I was going to find out at some point in time.

"Only that you loved me." Edward said smiling, with some of the sadness in his eyes disappearing, as he remembered the thought of me talking, as he came over to my bed.

"And what is so funny about that? You know it's true. Don't you?" I asked worried, maybe this is why he was sad, maybe it's because he thinks I don't love him.

"Yes, of course I know that it's true Bella. But it's not what you said; it's how you said it." Edward explained, his smile getting wider and even though I was pleased he was getting happier, it kind of annoyed me that he was getting happy over something stupid that I did.

"And how did I say it? Besides in my sleep." I asked, getting more annoyed. I mean why did he have to drag it out like this? Why couldn't he just give me a straight answer? He was only doing this coz he wanted me to blush.

"Well, you said it in German." Edward laughed, with the happiness finally reaching its way fully to his eyes and making me blush like he intended me to.

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"Yes, 'oh', I didn't even know you could speak German." Edward laughed while I blushed a darker shade of red.

"Neither did I." I whispered, quietly, deeply embarrassed.

Seeing my embarrassment, Edward moved himself behind me, resting his arms around my waist and placing his lips to my forehead.

"Ich liebe Sie." Smiling I turned to press my lips to his and for a whole split second we were as close as Edward would allow with out changing me. Which is when I had to have, what I call spasm attack.

"Bella…" A male voice said." Bella…Bella."

"Edward, you can stop saying my name, I'm paying attention."

"I'm not saying your name Bella." Edward said, his eyebrows arching as looked at me. I was about to argue when I heard the voice again, this time it sounded like it was closer.

"Bella…" the voice called." Do you remember me Bella?" The voice said and all of a sudden, the face that I will never be able to forget, popped up in front of me, as though he had never been killed, like I had only seen him yesterday. James. Shocked and scared, I screamed jumping backwards and almost falling on the floor if it wasn't for Edward catching me.

"GET AWAY FROM ME." I screamed, while kicking and punching, what I thought was James, but what was really Edward. " DON'T TOUCH ME. DON'T COME NEAR ME, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. LET ME GO!" I screamed, while crying, so I really was making an awful noise. And even though somewhere in my mind I knew it was Edward trying to grab my arms to stop me from hitting myself, all I could see was James and all I could feel was the pain that he had caused me and I couldn't control myself, or my actions.

"Sshh Bella, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you, but if you don't quieten down Charlie is going to come in here." Edward said, trying to reason with me. But I didn't want to be reasoned with. I was scared and hurt, by the pain of the memories, which I just didn't seem to be able to forget.

Edward tried muffling my screams with his hand, squeezing my hand, even shaking my shoulders, trying to get my attention, but nothing seemed to work. Well until he pressed his lips against mine in an attempt to silence all noises coming from them. And let me tell you, it worked. But by the time he had finally quietened me, well Charlie, was already up his way to my bedroom and Edward was out the window.

Charlie stormed into my room, gun in hand, ready to shoot as he thought that I was being attacked, and who could blame him. But when he saw me there on the floor, he put the gun away, thinking that I had just had a nightmare.

"You alright Bells?" Charlie asked, while giving me a hand up.

"Yeah dad, I'm fine." I said, sighing with relief that the latest spasm was finally over." Now you better hurry up, or you going to be late to work. I said noticing that he was in his uniform and everything.

"I was just about to head out. But I can stay home if you want me to, you look a bit pale."

"Nah, that's alright." I told him quickly, I didn't want to stay home, coz if he did, it meant I couldn't spend the day with Edward and that was the only way I was going to get better. "I'm fine really, go on off to work with you." I told him jokingly, while shooing him out of my room.

"Bye Bells." He yelled as he closed the door, after I yelled bye.

Sitting back on my bed, I placed my hands on either side of my head, as I felt the start of a splitting headache coming on.

"So Edward, are you going to come back in, or are you going to watch me through the window all day?" I asked him loudly, even though I knew he would have been able to hear me, even if I had it as quiet as a whisper.

"Are you having another headache?" Edward asked ignoring my question, as he came back through the window.

"Yes and this one is going to be doozy." I told him, lifting my head from my hands to see him kneeling in front of me, his face a mask of concern.

"Do you want some pain killers or something? I can go get them from Carlisle." He offered kindly, while moving a strand of hair that fell across my face behind my ear.

"No, I'll be fine. I think I just need to have a shower. I told him, getting up and moving closer to the dresser and selecting some clothes for the day and picking up my toiletries. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

"I'll be here. " Said Edward, signalling to the rocking chair smiling, I nodded and entered the bathroom. Closing and locking the door, I turned the hot water tap on full ball. After waiting for it to heat up, I got in and let the extremely hot liquid run all over my body. As I massaged my strawberry shampoo into my hair, my head started to go blank and I felt incredibly dizzy, I had to hold onto something to stop me from collapsing.

"Edward,' I yelled, after turning off the taps.

"Yes?" I heard him yell back.

"Go get Alice." I yelled back at him, I need someone to help me out of this shower and it wasn't going to be Edward, as well, as I was naked.

"Is everything OK?" He asked, instantly concerned.

"I just… I need some help OK?" I told him quieter this time, hoping he wouldn't ask any questions and just do it.

"OK, I'll be back shortly." And then I heard nothing and I knew he had gone to get her. Feeling slightly better I stepped out of the shower, to grab a towel, but as I wrapped it around myself, the blackness that I had been trying to avoid took over me completely and I fell to the ground out cold.