Chapter Two

For Me This is Heaven

The first star I see may not be a star.
We can't do a thing but wait.
So let's wait for one more.
The time such clumsy time in deciding if it's time.
I'm careful but not sure how it goes.
You can lose yourself in your courage.

Jimmy Eat World

Peyton spent the remainder of class sitting in abject horror. She couldn't wait to get out of this school.

The one person to be at all friendly to her all day, and he had to have been Brooke Davis' boyfriend. Of course.

She felt like an idiot, mentally churning their conversation over in her head, trying to recall any indicators.

When the bell rang, she walked quickly down the hallway, barely pausing long enough to grab her books from her locker. She didn't want to see him again.

Her car was still being repaired from the accident, so Peyton had taken the bus in that morning. Now, though, she felt the need to clear her head for awhile, so she began to walk.

It wasn't until she was a good distance from the school that Peyton's heart rate returned to normal .

Peyton wasn't sure why she felt so panicked. It wasn't as though she ever had to hang out with Lucas Scott again. He had showed her to one class, only because it was on his way and because he was clearly a nice guy. They would probably never speak again, and when the truth came out about her connection to the accident, Lucas Scott would vaguely remember her as the girl he'd had a minute long conversation with on her first day of school.

But the truth was, that was the problem. Something about Lucas Scott made her want to know him. She had felt it when she'd first glimpsed him outside during lunch, and again, even stronger, when their eyes had found each other across the hallway.

Lucas Scott was someone she wanted to know. He was someone she could definitely like.

Of course, the chances of that happening were zero. It was bad enough that his girlfriend had just died; add the fact that Peyton had been driving the car that killed her…she might as well forget it.

She would count herself lucky if she got by without him actively hating her.

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Lucas had basketball practice after school; the game had been his saving grace for the past week. Whitey and his teammates were just like everyone else, of course; giving him space, but always watching him carefully. Still, when he was on the court, everything was normal.

He'd been playing better than ever since The Accident, attacking each play with an intensity and fervor that he usually on had on important game nights.

Today, however, was an exception. He was distracted, his passes and shots sloppy and weakly executed. After about half an hour of this, Whitey called him over, a concerned expression on his face.

"You alright, son?"

Lucas nodded quickly. "I'm fine, coach."

Whitey gave his shoulder a squeeze, and Lucas' stomach twisted guiltily. Whitey obviously thought he was thinking about Brooke, but the truth was, it was Peyton who was distracting him.

At first, Lucas tried to tell himself it was simply because he enjoyed talking to someone who didn't know, who didn't look at him pityingly and who didn't talk to him in that lilted, sympathetic voice.

But the truth was, it was more than that. He wasn't ready, really, to put a name on what he was feeling; he only knew he wanted to see her again, that he had to see her again.

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Larry Sawyer was in the kitchen when his daughter got home. He gave her an expectant smile. "So. How was it?"

Peyton shrugged. "Not awful. I never saw the other driver, that Rachel girl, so I don't think anyone knows."

Larry sighed. "Honey, even if they did know, it won't matter. You didn't do anything wrong. She ran a red light…it wasn't your fault."

Silently, Peyton added to herself, I bet her boyfriend won't see it that way. Instead, she said, "Dad? Weren't you supposed to be gone like two days ago?"

Smiling, Larry answered, "Yep. But they can wait a few more days, honey. I want to make sure you're…settled before I go."

Peyton sighed. "You don't have to do that, Dad."

"I know. But I'm going to anyway." He opened up a cupboard at random. "Plus, I think it would be fatherly of me to buy some actual food for this house before I leave you alone in it."

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Lucas went to his mom's café after practice. He grinned at her in greeting, "Hey."

Karen seemed surprised by his obviously cheerful demeanor. "Hey, Luke. Good day?"

"Pretty good, yeah. How was yours?"

Karen didn't answer. Instead she leaned forward from across the counter, gently tousling her son's hair. "What's got you smiling?"

Lucas' smile instantly faded. The careful tone of his mom's voice reminded him that he wasn't supposed to be happy. He felt another stab of guilt. "Nothing really…just a good practice."

"Well, it's good to see you smile."

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Peyton was pretty sure she would be sick if she had to eat another piece of pizza. Between delivery and the frozen pizzas in the freezer, incidentally the only food they did have in the house, for the past week and a half, she was sick of them.

Her father, however, was a different story. He was heating up Pizza Hut leftovers for his dinner when Peyton came downstairs. Seeing the pizza, she made a face.

"What?" Larry asked with a grin. "I distinctly remember you saying you could live on pizza."

"I retract the statement."

"Fine. I'll go grocery shopping tomorrow. Until then…" He tossed Peyton his car keys. "Take my car and find you something for dinner. You should get to know the area a little more, there's a bunch of places downtown…"

After a moment's hesitation, Peyton agreed. "Okay. I'm off to forage for food."

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Lucas was sitting at a booth, doing homework, when she walked in. He glanced up at the tinkling of the bell that indicated the door being opened, and his face instantly split into a smile.

"Peyton?"

She turned, surprised. Awkwardly, she walked a little closer to his table, smiling back. "Hey."

There was something forced in her both her smile and her tone. After a second, Lucas recognized it, and his smile dropped. "You know, don't you?"

"Know what?"

He gave her a look that seemed to say Be honest with me. It seemed to suggest, somehow, that they knew each other far better than they did. "You know I was her boyfriend. Brooke's."

Peyton nodded slowly. "How could you tell?"

A bitter laugh escaped. "I've pretty much figured out how to recognize it." He rubbed his face tiredly with his hands, a groan escaping. "Damn it…"

Still hovering awkwardly by his booth, she began to stammer nervously, "Was…was I not supposed to know? These…these girls told me, today in fifth period…"

Lucas shook his head. "It's not that…it's just…" He laughed wryly. "It was nice, today. Talking to someone who didn't know, who didn't…look at me like that, who didn't want to analyze every detail of what happened…it probably sounds stupid."

Peyton watched him thoughtfully for a moment, then said, "No, I get it-"

Lucas cut her off, "You can sit down, you know?"

She slid into the booth across from him. "I get it. When something like this happens…it becomes the focus of everything. It's all people want to talk about, and even when they're not you can tell it's what they're thinking…and it starts to feel like it defines you. Then you really can't get past it."

"Exactly!" His voice was louder than he'd meant for it to be. "That's exactly how it feels, and I just…I hate it."

After a beat of silence, Peyton leaned forward and smiled. "Well, I have an idea then. How about we have a whole conversation that doesn't mention it? Like, at all?"

Lucas pretended to think it over. "I'd say that sounds like exactly what I need." He grinned. "First thing's first…service is unbelievably slow at the moment. What do you want to drink?"

Slightly bewildered by this sudden change in conversation, Peyton answered, "Um, just a coke I guess. What-"

Before she could ask, Lucas had stood up and moved behind the counter. He returned moments later with two cans of Coke, which he presented to Peyton with great flourish. "For you, m'lady."

Peyton gaped at him. "Did…did you just-?"

"Steal those for you? Yeah, I did."

He kept a straight face for only a few seconds before Peyton's look of complete confusion made him burst out laughing. "My mom owns this place."

Peyton groaned, flicking a straw paper at him.

This seemed to make Lucas laugh even harder. "Had you going…"

Peyton shook her head, laughing herself by now. "Kinda."

"Anyway, you want dinner and everything? It's on the house…I'll steal the rest of it for you."

Feeling the heat rise to her cheeks, Peyton protests, "You don't have to do that."

Lucas shrugged, saying teasingly, "I know I don't have to…it's more about the rush I get from living outside the law." Peyton raised her eyebrows at him, and he said seriously, "It's no big deal. Think of it as a combination Welcome to Tree Hill slash Thanks for This Awesome Conversational Idea meal."

Soon, Peyton had her food and she and Lucas were talking easily. She was amazed at how easy it was to talk to him. It felt as though they'd known each other for years; he seemed to be able to interpret every look or other nonverbal gesture she made, and vice versa, understanding exactly what the other meant as though they were a couple who had long since figured out the others nuances.

"I like your mom's place, Luke. This burger's incredible…" She paused, then asked, "Sorry, is it just Lucas?"

He shrugged. "Lucas, Luke, whatever. I don't care."

"How can you not care, it's your name!"

"Most people just alternate it." He grinned. "If you'd like, I can provide with a detailed list of situations and what to call me in each one."

"Okay, that sounds really helpful. An example, please?"

He nodded , "Sure. When you are completely impressed with my basketball skills and feel the need to yell praises, you would use 'Lucas'. But when you're completely impressed with my incredible intelligence in a conversation and feel the need to praise me, you'd use 'Luke'."

Peyton bit back a smile to retort sarcastically, "What about when I'm annoyed with you for being arrogant?"

He pretended to consider it. "That would definitely be a full name situation."

"Well, what's your middle name?"

Lucas laughed a little. "I usually don't reveal that to people I just met."

She shrugged. "If you want this list to be thorough…."

Smiling, Lucas leaned forward and, in a conspiratorial whisper, admitted, "Eugene."

Peyton laughed. "It suits you."

"Gee, thanks. What yours?"

"Elizabeth."

He offered his hand for a high five. "Both E's!"

She laughingly slapped her palm against his. "What are the chances?"

"I guess like one in twenty-six." Lucas suddenly glanced over the doorway, which had just opened.

The girl who came in seemed vaguely familiar to Peyton. She was carrying a large "Ravens Cheerleading" duffel bag, but she wasn't one of the girls who had informed Peyton to 'not even think' about Lucas; after a moment, Peyton recognized her as the girl Lucas had been sitting with at lunch time.

The girl glanced over at them, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Luke waved at her, "Hey, Hales."

She walked over to their table. "Hi." She looked back and forth between the two of them, then turned to Lucas, clearly needing an explanation.

"Oh, sorry, Hales, this is Peyton. She's new at school…Peyton, this is Haley."

Peyton smiled uncomfortably. "Hi."

Haley nodded a little, the expression on her face not exactly unfriendly, just a little perplexed. "You're in my first period."

Peyton had a sudden flash of the crowd of accusing eyes that had turned on her when she'd nearly sat In Brooke Davis' old chair. Haley had been sitting in the seat in front of Brooke's. Face reddening at the memory, Peyton nodded awkwardly, "Oh, yeah."

Haley turned to Lucas, eyebrows arched, "So. What are you guys up to?"

He shifted uncomfortably, embarrassed by the almost accusatory looks Haley was given him, with Peyton sitting right there. He met his best friend's eyes, trying to silently communicate that they would talk later. "Nothing really. Talking a little."

Thankfully, Haley seemed to get the message. "Cool. Well, I gotta go clock in. Nice to meet you, Peyton."

"You, too," she replied automatically, watching Haley walk behind the counter. She was suddenly embarrassed and uncomfortable, as though she wasn't supposed to be here.

Lucas cleared his throat, desperately hoping to move through the awkward moment, "Haley's great. She's my best friend…and my sister-in-law."

This last piece of information was distracted enough for Peyton to forget her discomfort. "Wait. How is she your sister-in-law?"

He grinned. "She's married to my brother?"

Peyton stared at him. "But she's our age?!"

Lucas' grinned widened; he was clearly enjoying her shock. "Yeah. It's always been a little different for Nathan and Haley."

"And your parents were just okay with letting him get married?"

"He's actually my half-brother. I'm only a couple months older than him."

"Oh." He could see she was struggling to process this, so Lucas laughed a little.

"Okay, so you should probably hear this whole story…it's kinda crucial Tree Hill history." So he filled her in on his family history, than began telling her how everything had changed when he'd joined the school basketball team sophomore year.

Peyton listened, enthralled, and by the time she was brought up to speed (Nathan and Lucas good friends, Nathan and Haley married), she shook her head, amazed. "Damn. That's a hell of a lot of drama."

Lucas grinned. "All set in motion by me and my mad skills on the court."

She rolled her eyes, laughing. "So basketball's pretty big here, huh?"

He nodded emphatically. "Oh, yeah. Our football team sucks, but Ravens basketball has always been great. The games are like a town social event."

Peyton nodded. "It was the opposite at my old school. Basketball was awful, but our football team won state last year. Those were the games everyone went to. Which sucked, because I hate watching football. Too slow. But I used to cheer, so…" She shrugged.

Lucas' eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You cheered?"

"So?"

With an amused glance, he seemed to take in her black leather jacket, Jack's Mannequin T-shirt, and beat up Chucks. "You just don't seem the type."

She smiled a little. "Yeah, I got that a lot. And you haven't even seen my music collection yet."

"I'm intrigued."

"As you should be."

He grinned. "You should cheer here, then. If you liked it. It's much better to cheer for a basketball team. A winning one."

She shrugged, that choking feeling of discomfort returning. "It's the middle of the season…"

"Yeah, but new girls try out all the time. It's not all that strict. You don't wanna miss this season… We're winning state this year, definitely."

They smiled at each other for a moment , then Peyton said, "I should probably head home…"

"Oh…alright." Lucas was surprised at the strength of his disappointment. "I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow?"

Peyton stood, smiling. "Yeah. Are you sure you won't let me pay…"

"Completely positive." He smiled at her. "Thanks for hanging out with Peyton. It was great."

"I had fun."

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Like clockwork, the minute Peyton was out the door, Haley was moving toward the booth and taking the seat she'd just vacated.

Lucas smiled, and said, in a conversational tone, "Hey, Hales. How goes it?"

Haley was clearly in no mood to play games. "What was that?"

He could already feel himself getting annoyed. "That was me having dinner with a new friend. Okay?"

"A new friend?! Luke, it's only been a week! Are you kidding me?"

"I know how long it's been Haley!" He snapped. "You honestly think I don't?! That I don't think about it every fucking minute? Excuse me for actually letting myself be relatively happy for a few hours! God, what was I thinking?"

Blinking back tears, Haley retorted, "I just don't want you to do something stupid."

"I'm not!" Frustrated, he gritted his teeth and forced a calmer tone, "Look she…she just moved here, and we met today…and no one else even talked to her, and-"

"Well, yeah because everyone has more important things on our minds, Luke! Everyone except you, apparently."

"You know that isn't true!"

"Well, I just think it's a bit weird that Rachel can't even bring herself to come back to school, yet you're off making 'new friends' and having a great time!"

Furious, Lucas yelled, "Well, I'm not the one who went through a fucking red light at 70 miles an hour!" Lowering his voice, he asked, "What is your issue with me, Haley? I don't seem sad enough?"

Haley stared at him for a long moment, then sighed shakily. "I…I'm sorry…it's just…one of my best friends died. Your girlfriend died and you've been shutting us out, and I've been worried and now…" She brushed stray tears away with the back of her hand.

Lucas sighed. "Hales, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at her. Peyton…she's just a friend, okay? She's really cool, Haley, you'd her. It was just nice to talk about stuff besides the accident…to feel normal ."

"I guess I get that."

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Peyton was already trying to remember where she was supposed to turn to head back to the new house. She knew she had another couple of traffic lights to go, but she was never great at directions.

She fiddled absently with her CD changer, switching from Travis to Dashboard Confessional without taking her eyes off the road, scanning the still unfamiliar surroundings.

The opening lines of 'Don't Wait' had just began to play when it happened.

Her light was green, and she only noticed the other car, speeding through from her left, a split second before their paths collided.

She screamed, stepping on the brake. The squeal of the brakes filled her ears, following immediately by a slamming crash. Her stomach dropped as she jerked forward slightly, and she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for it to be over.

LPLPLPLPLP

Peyton woke up screaming. She lay in bed, disoriented and dizzy, her pulse racing. She closed her eyes, thankful she hadn't gotten further into the nightmare than that. The part that had come after was the worst.

She rolled over on her side. It wasn't a good idea, hanging out with Lucas. She knew that. It was just going to turn out badly. But she also knew she wasn't going to be able to make herself stay away from him.

She could tell he was one of those rare, genuinely good guys. He was funny, and sweet, and every time he smiled at her, something seemed to make her heart clutch. And she felt a connection to him that she'd never experienced before; like she'd known him her whole life.

She wanted to believe that maybe it could all be okay. That the red-headed girl didn't actually go to Tree Hill High, and that no one would find out

However, she knew she was kidding herself. This was a small town. It was only a matter of time.

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Peyton passed another morning of mostly silence in school the next day. She and Haley glanced at each other in first period, forcing awkward smiles.

She looked for Lucas again at lunch, and was disappointed when she didn't see him anywhere. She did see Haley walking with the same dark haired guy from the day before who had to be Lucas' brother, Nathan.

When she walked into her fourth period class, Lucas was already there, sitting in his seat in the front row, next to the ominously empty desk. He looked up at her and smiled, "Hey, Peyton. I didn't know you were in here?"

She smiled back. "Yep. I was in the back yesterday."

He indicated the desk next to him. "You can sit here."

"Lucas!"

They both turned around. Bevin and Teresa, who sat in the row directly behind him, were given Lucas identical horrified looks. "That's Brooke's seat."

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Before Lucas could reply, Peyton moved away from the first row, murmuring nervously, "It's fine, I'll just go…"

Lucas sighed, frustrated, and turned away from the glares of Teresa and Bevin. Apparently, he wasn't grieving correctly. He couldn't honestly convince himself that Brooke would have cared deeply that her seat in history class, the seat she hadn't even wanted in the first place because it was in the dreaded front row, did not remain empty.

Once, a few minutes into class, he tried to glance back to catch Peyton's eye, but was met the accusatory looks from Bevin in Teresa, so he turned back around.

LPLPLPLPLPLP

Lucas waited around for her after class, his expression apologetic. "Sorry about that, y'know before…you really could've sat…"

"No, it's really okay. I mean…" She looked away briefly. "I get why they wouldn't want me to."

He shrugged. "Let's go."

They walked to their lockers together, and then on to their next class. To Lucas' relief, they easily managed to move past the awkward moment and regained the easy conversation that had defined the previous evening.

All it took was Lucas looking at her and saying, "So tell me a little more about this infamous music collection."

Instantly, Peyton's eyes lit up and they began to talk about bands. He found he liked watching her talk about music; she was clearly both passionate and knowledgeable about the bands and singers, something that both impressed and fascinated him.

He hung outside her classroom door, continuing their discussion until the warning bell rang.

Lucas sighed in mock-annoyance. "Guess I have to. Hey, are you doing anything tonight?"

She nearly laughed. "Who would I possibly be doing anything with?"

He smiled. "Great. Hang out with me."

Peyton smiled back, thrilled. "You didn't make that sound like I have much choice, but okay. What are we doing?"

"I'm going to show you some of the best places in Tree Hill. Where do you live?"

LPLPLPLPLP

On Lucas' car stereo, Jimmy Eat World played softly: The first star I see may not be a star. We can't do a thing but wait, so let's wait for one more.

Peyton grinned teasingly at Lucas, "Did you put this CD in because we were talking about it earlier?"

"Psh. You offend me. I happen to own all the Jimmy Eat World albums."

"Good for you, but I didn't ask if you went out and bought it because of our conversation. I asked if that's why you happen to have it playing in your car."

Lucas grinned sheepishly. "Maybe."

She laughed. "Well, I'm glad. It's a great song." She leaned back in the seat, already relaxed. She had already picked up a pattern: whenever she was about to see Lucas, she would go into a major stress about what a bad idea it was, panicking that she would do or say the wrong thing. The minute she was with him, though, she seemed to forget she'd ever had a reason to panic.

They drove in companionable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the music.

Can you still feel the butterflies? Can you still hear the last goodnight?

After awhile, Peyton asked, "So where are we going, exactly?"

Lucas smiled mysteriously. "The best place in Tree Hill."

After a few minutes, they pulled to the side of a road, into the grass. Peyton got out of the car, staring out at the river behind them. Lucas reached into the backseat and picked up a basketball before getting out, and only then did she notice the concrete court.

"A basketball court?"

He grinned. "The River Court."

Peyton remembered the beginning of the story he'd told last night, about how he ended up on varsity. "This is where you used to play, right? It's where you had the one on one with Nathan."

"Yeah. I practically grew up here." He looked back at her, as though watching for her reaction. She smiled, and so did he.

Running out onto the court, Lucas tossed the basketball from one hand to the other. "You coming?"

Laughingly, Peyton ran after him.

He held out the ball to her, an eyebrow arched challengingly. "You play?"

Peyton rolled her eyes and scoffed, mock-cocky. "Do I play?" Smirking, she turned and sent the basketball turning through the air, missing the backboard by about three inches to the right.

"So that's a no?"

She grinned. "Yeah, I don't play." Laughing, Lucas ran after the ball. Peyton watched him, unable to suppress the smile on her face. "Let's see these moves you love bragging about so much."

"Watch and learn." He started behind the basket, dribbling in the opposite direction, moving out beyond the painted three point line before whirling and shooting a fade away.

It went through, a perfect swish. Lucas grinned at her. "Impressed?"

Peyton rolled her eyes.. "Okay, hot shot. Don't get cocky." She tossed the ball back to him. "Again."

For the next five minutes, Lucas shot and Peyton stood below the net and tossed him rebounds. After awhile, she said, "You know, I'm starting to get the feeling I'm not really needed for this part."

"Oh, no, you are." Lucas assured her. "I always play better when I'm being admired."

Peyton arched an eyebrow. "Who says I'm admiring you?"

He smiled smugly. "Oh, I can just tell." Then he laughed. "C'mere."

She obliged, meeting him at center court. They sat, legs stretched out, leaning back on their arms.

"So…" Lucas began hesitantly. "I realized last night…when I was talking about how suffocated I feel since Brooke died…you really got that. And at the time, I was so relieved to know that someone understood I didn't think much about it…" He paused, his eyes on hers. "But ever since then I've been trying to figure out a tactful way to ask…why you got it."

"So now you're asking?"

He nodded. "Not so tactful at all. And not at all subtle."

"That's okay." Peyton paused, then told him. "My mom died. When I was nine."

"Oh." Lucas inhaled sharply, and they were quiet for a moment, before he said softly, "How did she die?"

"Car accident." For some reason, she heard herself adding, "She ran a red light."

"Like Brooke. Well, Rachel ran the red light; she was the girl who was driving." Peyton looked away, as though the truth was somehow written on her face. "But…they said she wasn't wearing a seat belt.

Lucas waited until Peyton look up at him again. "I'm sorry about your mom."

"I'm sorry about Brooke."

He leaned back until he was completely laying down on the court, and he motioned for her to do the same.

They lay close together, looking up at the stars. Lucas reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPod. "Music?"

She nodded mutely as he handed her one of the earbuds. She was too aware of his closeness, the intimacy of the setting and the moment.

They lay in the center of the River Court for nearly an hour, listening to mellow, quiet music and staring at the sky, content to be quiet, content to revel in the contentment of the night, the unspoken excitement of their new friendship.