Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
As I checked my eMails today, I was speechless: There were so many messages informing me about reviews, story alerts and so on that I really had to choke back tears (I know, bring on the drama, baby…). I feel so honoured and touched that people have read my story and that they liked it, which is why I start the next chapter with a HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE that found my story good enough to pay attention to. Again: THANK YOU!
So, here we go with chapter two…
I was brought back to reality by the noise my screaming baby daughter created as she decided that it would be much more fun to torture her poor mother by yelling out of every last pore instead of sleeping. I wasn't ready yet to leave the darkness; it was so much more comforting to be in the nothingness than to face what might be waiting for me here. But my daughter needed me. Groaning rather loudly I opened my eyes and started to sit up only to see Angela trying futilely to calm down Audrey.
"Hand her over", I muttered to Angela when I reached her side; she obviously didn't notice that I had risen from my fainting spell, because she flinched slightly at hearing my voice.
"Are you sure? I mean, you've been out for quite a while, maybe you should take it easy. I really don't mind looking after Audrey for some more time", she answered while giving me a once over with her eyes. I could only imagine what she saw to make her doubt my motherly qualifications: zombie-me. I groaned inwardly this time.
"It's okay", I said as I picked up the screaming toddler. I put her head on my breast softly humming her favourite tune to her and swaying her from side to side. She calmed down immediately and was fast asleep in mere seconds. Just as I did every time I heard this melody, I cautiously thought to myself. The familiar pain entered my heart, but I didn't have another choice now. I had to deal with something much bigger later on, better to start preparing now than to have it all crashing down on me at the same time. "How long have I been out anyway?", I asked Angela after I had put my baby back into her small crib.
"About an hour. I was really worried, Bella. One moment I am sitting on the couch watching TV, and the next Jacob is carrying your limb body into your bedroom telling me you fainted and needed time to rest. What happened anyway?" Confusion and worry were etched in Angela's face. I gestured to her to follow me into the living room, so that we didn't wake up Audrey with our conversation. As we entered the other of my two rooms, which wasn't much more than an old couch, a small coffee table, some shelves with an old TV and Stereo and a tiny desk with the laptop I got from Charlie and Renee for Graduation, I noticed that my best friend was nowhere in sight. I couldn't even hear him in the kitchen (his favourite place) searching through my nearly empty fridge or in my petty bathroom bumping against the wall because it must have been built for people the size of hobbits instead of huge werewolf people.
"The club was packed, maybe it was just a lack of oxygen or something", I mumbled. What else should I have told her? Well, I fainted because my werewolf friends smelled their mortal vampire enemies which actually happen to be the family of the love of my life who has abandoned me and turned me into a zombie… Yeah, definitely.
"Well, then, okay", she said. "Those places are sometimes really a little muggy." I could see that she didn't buy my story, but that is why I appreciate that she remained my friend even after experiencing my zombie-phase at its worst. She respects that I don't like to talk about such stuff and therefore she doesn't ask many questions. "If you're really okay, then I think I should head back to my dorm. I have a lecture early tomorrow that I don't want to miss. If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to call, alright?"
"I'm fine, Ang, don't worry about me", I told her while shushing her in the direction of my door. "But thanks… for everything. I hope you know how much I appreciate your help; I wouldn't know what to do without you." I needed to tell her this; it was the only thing I could do to thank her for all her input in my messed up life since I didn't have anything else to give her.
"Bella, you're my friend, it's only natural for me to help. Remember, whatever you need, okay?", she said before embracing me and heading out of the door.
I leaned back on my now locked apartment door and closed my eyes trying to decipher my feelings. There were so many of them; I hadn't felt this much in a long time. I was scared to death because I didn't know what was coming. I was sure that something was coming, I just didn't have the faintest idea of what that might be. I was confused because I didn't know what they were doing here. I was hopeful, even though I knew it was in vain. I was afraid of Jacob's reaction if I ever told him that I was still secretly in love with him. He is always so angry, when someone mentions them; I knew that he blamed the Cullens for his change. But his anger in that situation was nothing compared to the fury he unleashed, whenever I mentioned him, although that has only happened a handful of times in the past years.
And what about Audrey? She was my priority. Somehow I didn't think their reappearance was a very good thing considering the dislike Jake and his pack felt towards them (I refused to use the word "hate" because after all I have been through myself, I couldn't hate them). Jake always talked about "unsolved issues" between the two parties and I couldn't shake the feeling that a confrontation would turn into war very fast. And I didn't want my daughter in the middle of that.
I had just started thinking of ways to prevent an open war, when someone began pounding on my door in an extremely loud manner.
"Angela? Open up! Is Bella awake already?", Jake yelled.
I unlocked my apartment and tore open my entrance. "Jake, it is the middle of the night, I have neighbours, can you be a little louder?", I scolded him annoyed.
"Let me in already. Is Angela still around?", he growled at me and shoved himself through the doorway. I shook my head no and he plopped on my couch and put his head in his hands before speaking. "They're back."
I was paralyzed. "What do you mean 'back'?" I couldn't get myself to say anything else through the mumbo-jumbo that was happening in my head at his words. I knew that the vampires he had mentioned before my blackout were them, but still. My mind still partly refused to wrap itself around the concept of their return.
"All of those bloodsuckers have happily scrambled back into their nice little house in Forks. Sam has checked himself. Embry, Quil and I had a special little chat with him, if you know what I mean, while we were outside." Jake slowly started to shake. He was too agitated and it began affecting his self-control. "How dare they! After all they've put us through, they still have the nerve to show their stupid leech faces in this area!"
By this time he had gotten up from my couch and the shaking had increased immensely. I took a step back. Honestly, I was starting to feel a little afraid of him; never in our time as friends had he lost that much control, not even in the beginning of his time as a werewolf. "Jake, calm down", I said soothingly. I was thinking of Audrey in her crib, sleeping soundly. I couldn't have him changing in the apartment.
"Calm down?! Bella, do you remember what they did to you? To US?" he shouted now.
"No, I didn't forget!" I shouted now, too. "But that doesn't make me hate them! Or him! Should he have forced himself to love me and stay with me, even though it was something he didn't want? I'd much rather I was alone and he was happy, than us being together and him being miserable" I was fuming now. How dare he! He didn't understand anything. "And your change? I doubt they knew what kind of effect they had on you, otherwise they would not have stayed in the area. They are good people at heart, they have saved my life many times over. But because you have this mortal enemies nonsense squashed in your brain, you won't ever be able to look beyond your prejudices, Jacob!" I was really angry. He had no right to judge; he didn't even know them.
"Are you defending them, Bella?! They didn't care for you! You were just a toy for them that became boring after some time and then they dumped you! They dumped you without caring about your feelings or about what could happen to you! Open your eyes, Bella: bloodsuckers will be bloodsuckers!" he roared at me. His shaking had not subsided, instead he now had a very sick expression on his face. He was sick of me, sick of what I had said. "But I see you won't budge. You have made your choice." He looked down for a moment. As he looked up again, into my eyes, his expression was cold. "I'm off." He turned around and headed for the door.
As I realized what he was about to do, what I had caused by not watching my words, I felt another huge pain enter my chest. I had made a huge mistake. I didn't intent to defend them, it just all came out; I couldn't keep it in; it was as if something inside of me took control of me and made me say all of those things. As if my need for the Cullen's good reputation was more powerful than the need for my best friend. But I knew the Cullens were people far outside of my world, but Jake was very much in it. He was my sun, I didn't want to hurt him, I needed him. He needed to stay.
"Jake, don't leave, please. I didn't mean to offend you!" I begged. I couldn't loose him, too. I had lost too much already, not my best friend also.
He stopped at the doorway and turned around, "I cannot understand you. I won't ever be able to. I have tried for years, but it's useless. I cannot be friends with you if you think leeches are good people." And with that he strolled out of the door throwing it shut behind him.
"Jake! Jacob! Jake…" I cried repeatedly. But he did not come back.
I broke down sobbing in the middle of my living room. I heard Audrey cry in the bedroom, having woken from all the yelling. But I couldn't get up. I had lost Jacob. I had lost my best friend. The only person who had cared, who had really known all about me.
I was alone. Alone with a baby girl that I didn't know how to raise without help.
I was broken beyond repair. Just now, there was no denying it anymore.
So that's it for today. I try to post the next chapter as fast as I can. Please, review. I love to have some constructive criticism.
Have a nice day!