You are my purpose, you're everything
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters, they belong to their respective owners.
Chapter 2: Nothing else to it
Dean paced the small motel room, almost going out of his mind in the lack of space. He had never really been claustrophobic, but right now Dean felt like running, running as far as he could until he was in the middle of nowhere and screaming out of the top of his lungs. Out of rage, or maybe helplessness.
"This is so god damn stupid," he growled eventually when he could no longer take the silence in the small space.
Sam looked up at Dean worriedly, forehead creased. "Dean, calm down." Said Sam, he had meant for it to come out soothingly but it had sounded very harsh. Sam sighed and tried again. "I just don't think that worrying is going to help anything."
Dean laughed humourlessly. "I knew it." He said quietly.
"Knew what?" Sam asked, turning back to his laptop. Dean stopped pacing and addressed his brother.
"I knew this was too good to be true ," he explained, voice more than a little strained. "It has to be a steaming pile of bull crap or else it isn't our life!" He half- thundered. Dean then sighed to himself and rubbed his eyes, he sat down slowly and stared dejectedly at the floor. "I've messed up my kid's life and she isn't even born yet."
"Hey," said Sam abruptly, leaning forward. "You haven't messed anything up, Dean! We're gonna find a way to figure this all out."
Dean rubbed his forehead again and looked up to his brother. "I'm just tired, Sam." He informed him, "I'm just so...tired, I just wish Cas was here..."
"I am here." A familiar voice appeared from nowhere, Sam let out a small yelp and Dean nearly jumped from his chair. The brother's turned to see Castiel holding his weight precariously against the ancient dresser at the far side of the room, he was very pale and a small line of blood was dripping from his forehead.
"Cas!" Dean exclaimed, darting from his chair to catch the angel before he fell. Sam got to his feet and met his brother, supporting Castiel's other arm as they lead him to the bed.
"What happened?" Asked Sam worriedly, "are you alright?"
"I was...attacked." Castiel finally decided, his voice sounded weak.
"By who?" Asked Dean.
"I have no idea." Cas continued, "he was an angel, but I don't know which one. He rendered me unconscious."
"Are you okay?" Asked Dean, the concern evident in his voice.
"When I came too I heard your call." He informed them, he stretched his arms out a bit and looked as though he was concentrating. "I'll be fine." He decided eventually.
Dean clapped Castiel on the back and then walked to the small on suite bathroom of the motel room, Sam and Castiel could hear the running of a tap for a few short moments until Dean walked back in holding a slightly dripping cold compress, he handed it to Castiel. "Here, take this." He instructed softly.
"Thank you." Said Castiel, accepting the cloth and pressing it to his forehead.
"Man, I'm glad you're okay." Dean admitted.
"Yeah, you scared us." Sam amended.
"Scared you?" Asked Castiel, confused. "How?"
Sam and Dean looked at each other for a moment and then both turned back to Cas...
...
"It is almost the perfect plan." Said Castiel, ruefully. Now he was pacing the motel room.
"Yeah, tell me about it." Said Dean. "But if Michael really is serious, how are we supposed to protect Lisa?"
"Do you have any idea what the angel's are planning?" Sam questioned.
"Regrettably I don't." Castiel informed them, with an inkling of sadness in his voice. "Ever since I was cut off from heaven the angel's no longer confer with me, and now with Zachariah working against us it makes the situation far more difficult."
Sam was about to open his mouth to ask another question until a loud vibrating from Dean's pocket cut him off. Dean immediately retrieved his cell and answered, almost hoping it was Michael.
"Hello?" He said cautiously, without checking the ID.
"Dean?" Lisa's anxious voice called out, and Dean almost melted into the phone.
"Lisa." He said, sighing deeply in relief. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." She answered, nervous.
"Your voice is shaking." Dean commented, immediately worried.
Lisa laughed shakily on the other end of the line. "Just still a bit...freaked out..."
"Of course," said Dean, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, me too, me too."
"Um, I was wondering if you were still coming over..."
"Yeah, yeah...of course I am." Dean assured her hurriedly, "I just...err...got caught up helping Sam with something."
"Oh." Said Lisa, satisfied. "Well, tell him I said hello."
"Yeah, will do." Dean assured her, "I'll be over in half an hour."
"Okay...bye."
"Bye." Said Dean before hanging up.
He turned back to Sam and Castiel. "She shouldn't be alone." Said Dean, "I'm gonna go over there."
"Have you given that anymore thought?" Asked Sam.
"I don't know." Dean admitted honestly. "I don't wanna give up my kid but..." Dean looked down, almost ashamed of what he was about to say. "...if we don't have her then Michael can't hurt her."
Sam looked to the floor, because he knew Dean was right.
"That is a viable option." Cas reasoned, "Although...there is another option that guarantee's the safety of your daughter."
Sam and Dean stared at him, waiting for him to continue.
"If you agree to be Michael's vessel." Castiel informed them, "after all, you are the one Michael truly wants, truly needs."
Dean's eyes hit the floor again and he didn't say anything. Sam stared at his brother, feeling the familiar tug on his heart whenever Dean was in pain.
"This may just be a plan to get you to agree to be Michael's vessel." Sam voiced eventually.
"I don't want it to come to that." Said Dean finally.
Cas and Sam shared a look and the three stood in an uncomfortable silence.
...
Dean pulled into Lisa's driveway feeling crappier than ever. He'd been thinking about it all the way over to Lisa's and he had come to the conclusion that it was better not to be born than to become Michael's vessel. And, against his better judgement, he realised that the only way to keep Lisa safe was to ask her to not have their child. Dean stared out of the windscreen for a long moment, feeling the regret fill his body.
As soon as Lisa answered the door she was smiling hugely at him, showing her perfect teeth. The smile immediately warmed Dean and he tried to smile back at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Dean followed Lisa into the kitchen and she fetched a beer from the fridge and handed it to him. "Did you get what you had to do with your brother out of the way?"
"Err...yeah." Dean assured her, taking a long swig of his beer. "Just some business I had to sort out with Sam."
Lisa nodded and the chatter died away. The pair stood around awkwardly for a few long moments, Dean didn't like being awkward around Lisa, honestly, he just wanted to put his arms around her and tell her how sorry he was for everything, he didn't count on her beating him to it.
"I'm sorry." Said Lisa eventually, breaking the silence.
Dean stared at Lisa, confusion clear in his eyes. "Why?" He asked.
Lisa sighed and looked down momentarily. "Your life..." she began, obviously referring to Dean's hunting career. "You have so much to deal with without this on top, this is putting too much weight on you and I'm so sorry for it."
Dean shook his head slightly, he would never understand Lisa's complete understanding and acceptance of his lifestyle.
"Never apologise to me." Dean told her, "you have nothing to apologise for."
Lisa smiled slightly at him.
"Besides," Dean continued, "this wasn't your fault," it was Michael's. He looked up at Lisa. "And, no one ever said this is a bad thing...but..."
Lisa looked down to the floor. "Listen, Dean...if you don't think we should have this baby, then...I'll understand."
Dean stared at the floor uncomfortably. He was painfully aware of the sacrifice in Lisa's voice, and by the fact that she was only making this sacrifice because she loved him. Dean was also painfully aware that he was throwing away the only life he'd ever really wanted with the only woman he had ever really loved.
Dean sighed internally and made a decision, if he was about to tell Lisa that they couldn't have this baby, he had to give her a reason why. Dean also knew that keeping things from people left them very unprotected. Dean began to look up at her, mouth open to tell Lisa of Michael and all of his plans until his eyes met her stomach.
He stared, mouth still open, for a long time at the slight, very slight but definitely there swell on Lisa's stomach. Lisa's hand was rested gently over it, her fingers making soothing circles over the slight bump.
Dean couldn't help but stare, completely captivated. Until this moment, he had never even realised that this scene being painted out before him was everything he had ever wanted in his life. The woman that he couldn't get out of his head was tenderly stroking the beginning of a new life they had created together. A life, that was Dean's job to protect. Dean tentatively reached his hand out and placed it on Lisa's stomach, he looked up to see Lisa smiling, really smiling. She placed her own hand over Dean's .
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dean made a mental note not to tell Sam this had ever happened.
"You 'no," began Lisa softly, "I don't know why but...I have a funny feeling that it's a baby girl."
Dean couldn't help but smile in awe. That little in there was a part of him, a part of both of them. There was simply nothing else to it.
Dean met Lisa's eyes again. "I love you." He said, without even thinking. "And I want us to have our baby...together."
Lisa smiled again. "I was praying you would say that." She admitted joyfully, she touched Dean's face softly. "I love you, too." She told him.
Dean leant forward and pressed his lips softly to Lisa's, getting lost slightly in the moment.
Okay, then, baby girl, that's how we'll do it. Dean thought in his head as he kissed Lisa gently. Deciding he would simply have to protect Lisa and his daughter with his life.