I must have fallen unconscious, because the next thing I knew, I was seeing things. Memories, my life flashing past my eyes. It couldn't have been real. It wasn't possible. The dreams were beautiful and soothing to me, but frightening and painful at the same time.
First I saw Edward, standing in our meadow, glittering and glowing in the sunlight with his eyes closed, singing softly. As usual, he was breathtakingly beautiful, and the forest took on a dreamlike quality. But the difference was the extreme clarity of the vision. I could see every leaf in the trees and every speck of dust on the ground in exquisite detail. The grass and the diamonds in his skin seemed to be razor sharp, and the colors were unbelievably vibrant and full of light. It was as if I had been living life from behind a screen that was finally being peeled away; like I was seeing for the first time. It was true beauty.
And then the images blurred, faded and changed. Suddenly, I was back at the beach in La Push with Jacob once more, laughing. Again, I could see the ultrafine details. Both of us, the Bella and Jacob from long ago, had expressions of happiness and rapture on their faces. The parts of me that would have ached, seeing us like that, seemed to have gone numb. It was like they were people from another story, the boy and girl. I didn't seem to belong there. And though I still wanted to be able to be back in those times, it didn't hurt anymore, watching us.
Other dreams came too. Renee, leaning over me in the hospital bed in Phoenix, after the incident with James. Charlie, shaking his head over yet another disastrous attempt at making dinner, both of us laughing. Helping Angela with her correspondence. Jacob again, his face innocent and radiating joy and happiness. There were many others—Ben, Eric, Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Austin…even Lauren. The La Push werewolves seemed to be in the background, all in human form. I thought I heard Leah, yelping, as Embry, Seth, Jared, and Quil laughed.
Their faces converged, all but Edward's; melted together and then drifted apart, each unique and different, yet somehow all the same. I heard all their voices at once, laughing and whispering, echoing joyously throughout my mind.
In harmony, all their voices melded together to convey a single, lingering thought.
Goodbye, Bella.
It was then that I realized that I had seen the faces of all the people I could no longer be with, could no longer see. It was the price I was paying to be with Edward forever, and it was worth it, but it hurt still.
As I slowly resurfaced, awakening, I could feel the wet droplets of tears, streaming down my cheeks.
AN: In response to a few of the comments and reviews I've gotten...Like I said, it is the first fanfic I've written, and I'm happy to get so many positive comments. I will try to update as often as I can, but that depends on how fast I can write! I'll do my best to reply to your reviews. And no, at this point Bella isn't a vampire yet. The transformation is just beginning...;)
But once again, thanks for reading!