The sound of high pitched laugh reverberated through the woods of Gravity Falls. As the laugh continued time slowed down to a halt. The color drained from the environment, making the forest look like a paint by numbers.

Dipper looked around for the owner of the laughter. He saw the candle light from the ritual site had been taken into the sky, still in its triangular pattern. They moved around the triangle clockwise, increasing with speed as the laughter got louder and louder. Dipper had to cover his ears from the noise.

The lights sped up until it was a solid swirling mass. The laughter reached its fevered pitch and then turned into an ear splitting screech. It was as if someone was shoving a raccoon in a garbage disposal. Something began to form within the triangle of light. It colored the triangle pitch black and started to stretch and morph, like it was trying to escape. It squirmed in the sky for a moment or two before going still.

A white light appeared in its center; it moved upwards and expanded to reveal an eye. White lines ran across the pyramids like snakes, taking their places along the triangles shape until they looked like tiny rectangles. Two more, albeit smaller, triangles formed and stuck themselves together over the rectangles. It was a bowtie.

Noodle like limbs sprouted from its sides and drooped nonchalantly towards the ground. A tiny top hat popped into existence above the triangles head. It looked exactly like the drawing in the book

The screaming stopped, and was replaced by an obnoxious voice. "Uhhh… What did you do to me?!"

Dipper didn't expect for the mighty dream demon to sound so whiny. Dipper picked himself up and cleared his throat.

"Um… Uh… I summoned you to do my bidding demon!" Dipper did his best to sound like an evil wizard. "You are under my total control!"

The triangle's eye moved down to Dipper. It stared at him like he was a slab of meat. "Heh! Kid I don't know how you did that, but you have no idea who you're MESSING WITH!" The triangle's voice dropped several octaves into a deep baritone. It floated down to Dipper with uncanny speed. Dipper flinched backwards, shutting his eyes tightly. The demon raised a hand to Dipper but nothing happened. Its black fingers snapped, waiting for the utter destruction that usually brought, but again, nothing.

"Ahhh! What is this?" the demon yelled in shock. "Why can't I annihilate you?!"

Dipper opened his eyes and grew a smug grin. It looked like the ritual worked, even with the candle. "Yeah that's right. Like I said, you're under my total control."

The triangle seemed to frown with its one eye before. "Listen, kid. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. Let's start over. The name's Bill Cipher."

"Dipper."

"Well "Dipper" how about you let me outta this painful light thingy, and we can move along with this conversation?"

"Oh no. I know about you, Bill," Dipper said with a knowing smile, "You're not getting out of anything. I know what you're capable of." Bill's eye-frown visibly deepened. "And that's exactly why I called you here." Bill's eye perked up.

"Oh! I see! You need something taken, destroyed, and or ripped limb from limb!" Bill exclaimed.

Dipper looked around looking a little ashamed, "Not exactly," he muttered.

"Well what then!? Come on Kid what's the deal!?"

"I need you to help me win a fight."

"Pfft! A fight?! Are you kidding kid? You summoned me to fight in some school yard rumble? Talk about overkill."

"It was my only option," Dipper whined, "Besides overkill is exactly what this guy needs."

Bill looked at Dipper and floated around him. A small cane materialized in Bill's hands. "So you want me to teach this guy a lesson is that it, kid? Well that's easy as pi!" Bill began to twirl his cane around in his tiny hands. "What'd this kid do to ya anyways? Kill your family or something?"

Dipper looked slightly embarrassed for a moment before saying, "I… uh… accidently broke his phone after getting into an argument about a girl."

"Hahahahaha! You doomed some punk teenager because of that?! That's harsh kid. I like your style." Dipper lowered his head in shame. "A warning though. I can't really interact with anything physical."

"What?!"

"Yeah, I'm incorporeal. Go figure. I'm gonna need a vessel if you want me to do anything actually damaging, like break his legs, or snap his neck, maybe shove my fist up his-."

"I get it! I get it!" Dipper shouted in a disgusted tone, "Well you don't need to actually hurt him. Wait? How were you going to annihilate me, if you can't touch me?"

"Well actually, kid, we're in a semi-metaphysical mindscape, created by the images your brain just saw as you summoned me. I was just gonna turn you into a vegetable or something. Maybe erase your memory of breathing."

"So what, am I just staring off into space right now or something?"

"Actually you're asleep. Probably standing too, like a horse or something! Hahaha!"

"Wait! I'm asleep. What if I miss the fight?! If I don't show up, Robbie'll tell Wendy I chickened out, and then and then-!"

"Whoa! Calm down Pine Tree! This little conversation will only have taken seconds when you wake up."

"Oh. Well that's good," Dipper sighed, "Hold on, Pine Tree?"

"Well your last name's Pines right?"

"How did you know that?"

"Oh I know lots of things. LOTS OF THINGS!" Dipper was taken aback by the sudden tonal change.

"A-Anyways… Here's the plan. We go to the park. You come out and show Robbie something that'll make him leave me alone and we're done. No real harm done. Just a little scare. How's that sound?"

"Sounds A-Okay to me boss man!" Bill exclaimed with a few ounces of sarcasm. "But what about my vessel."

"Could you just do this?" Dipper asked sheepishly.

"This? You mean make this little parlor trick again? Sure! I won't be able to much damage though."

"That's okay! You- uh, don't need to do that much. But since that's good let's go my familiar! To the park!" Dipper said, a little courage leaking into his voice. Bill rolled his eye and held out his hand.

"Here let's shake on it. Make it all official." A blue flame surrounded the demon's stubby hand. Dipper looked at it with fear before grabbing it reluctantly. "Alrighty, let's do this thing, kid!"

The triangular demon rose into the air and began to flash colors rapidly. He yelled at Dipper before he dissipated, "Remember, kid! Reality is an illusion! The universe is a hologram! Buy gold! Bye!" And with that Bill had vanished into the air with a flash.

Dipper opened his eyes. He really had been asleep. He looked around the forest and saw that everything had regained its color and movement. Looking at his watch, Dipper saw that he still had time to get to the park.

"How am I going to call Bill?" As he spoke, Dipper felt a painful burning on his left hand. "Ack! What the?!" Looking down, Dipper saw a small sigil covering the back of his left hand. It was a tiny drawing of Bill Cipher.

"I guess that's how," Dipper painfully sighed.

Walking to the park Dipper wondered what Bill was doing. Was he following him? Floating around him like some kind of geometrical ghost? As he thought, he saw Mabel on the street, leading a blindfolded Grunkle Stan towards the water tower.

"Hope I don't hear about that on the news tonight." Dipper said to himself. She gave him a happy wave and turned back around to continue doing… whatever it was she was doing.

"Better not tell them what just happened. Don't think demon summoning is a good way to bring a family closer."

As he closed the distance to the park, Dipper heard the clock tower ring 3 o'clock. He saw Robbie sitting on top of a park bench with his hood up. He must have thought he looked cool. Robbie watched him get closer.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up," the teen said getting up from the bench, "I thought you'd chicken out. You ready to settle this like men?" Robbie menacingly advanced towards him.

Dipper decided to give him one chance before unleashing Hell. "Look, dude. I don't think you want to fight me."

"Oh. And why's that? You got some secret karate skills I don't know about? Listen, kid, you asked for this. And when someone asks for a beating from Robbie V, he delivers."

"Okay, you asked for it. Bill, sick'em."

"Bill? Who's that?" Robbie asked incredulously, "You hire a body guard or somthin?"

"Something like that," Dipper said with a smirk.

At that, the world began to, once again, slow down and fade into a colorless backdrop. Robbie looked around in confusion.

"What the?! What's going on?" Robbie hadn't seen anything this weird since that night at the convenience store. Or was it that dream about the convenience store? He couldn't really remember. Robbie looked at Dipper and saw the boy raise his left hand towards him. A little triangle was tattooed on his smooth skin. It began to glow; it shifted off of Dipper's hand and onto the air. It grew and stretched, turning bright gold.

A voice came from the floating shape, "So you're the guy he was going to fight. I gotta say kid," Bill said to Dipper, "I was expecting more than a pockmarked pubescent. I thought this guy was gonna be huge, but he doesn't even look like he can lift a paper weight. Hahaha!"

The confusion on Robbie's face turned to anger. He wasn't really sure what was going on, but he did know that no one made fun of him. Especially weird, floating nachos.

"Hey shut up triangle dude!" Robbie took a swing at Bill. It phased right through his body, causing Robbie to lose his balance and end up on the ground.

"Hey, kid look. He thinks he can fight me! Hahaha! Here champ, let me show you how a REAL MAN FIGHTS!" Bill quickly flew around Robbie's head and pointed a finger at him. "You ever wondered what your insides looked like?" In a flash Robbie found himself looking at muscle and tendons instead of his jacket.

"Ahhh!" Robbie started screaming at the top of his lungs. He could feel rocks and grass scraping up against every part of him. It was more painful than anything he'd ever experienced.

"Uh, Bill," Dipper said nervously. Maybe this was a bad idea, after all.

"Eh. Bored now," Bill said with a shrug, "Let's try this." In another flash Robbie's skin was back in place. He tried to scramble to his feet, but was caught by an unseen force. "Here look what I can do?" Bill reached out, and with a waggle of his tiny blackened fingers all of Robbie's teeth came flying out of his mouth into Bill's palm. "Hehehe! Look at all these cavities. You're disgusting, guy! Here, you can have them back." Bill began flicking the teeth back at Robbie at high speed.

Dipper looked on in horror at the torment Bill was enjoying. He hadn't really thought this was how it was going to go down. Maybe a few weird wacky faces or giant monster screaming at him, but not awful mutilation. Dipper didn't care for Robbie…. Okay he really didn't like Robbie… Alright, he hated Robbie, but this was inhumane.

"Bill, I think we should stop now. I think Robbie's not gonna mess with me anymore. Or do anything for a while," Dipper said sullenly. Bill turned to look at Dipper, still flinging teeth at the screaming teen.

"You've gotta go big or go home, Pine Tree. If we don't go all out now, then he won't learn his lesson. Besides throwing this filthy little punk's teeth is fun!"

Robbie decided to try his luck with running away after the fifteenth tooth. He sprinted out of the park at high speed. Only to end up running right back into the park, towards Bill.

"There's no running from me Robbie! I control EVERYTHING here!"

"Ahh!" the only thing Robbie could do at this point was scream.

"That's it scream! Hahaha!" Bill continued his onslaught of teeth.

"Bill that's enough," Dipper yelled, "He's had eno-!"

"Ahh!" Robbie cut him off.

"He's had en-!"

"Ahh!"

"He's had en-!"

"Ahh!"

"Jeeze, shut up!" Dipper yelled exasperated. Bill snapped his fingers and Robbie's mouth was gone. The screams were still there, just muffled.

"How's that?" Bill asked.

"A lot better actually, that was real-! Hey don't change the subject! What was that? I told you to stop! Now stop!"

"Sorry kid, guess I just didn't hear you," Bill said, poking a finger into a nonexistent ear canal. "Maybe speak up next time."

"Uhh! That's it! End it now! We're done. Let Robbie go." Bill shrugged and snapped his fingers. The world sped back to reality. Both Dipper and Robbie woke up in the park. Drool ran down both of their respective faces. Robbie jumped up with a start.

"Ah! Ah! Wh-Wh-What was…" He looked at Dipper, "Ahh!" He did a one eighty and took off in the other direction. He was relieved he could actually escape this time.

"Ughhghghg," Dipper sighed. "What did I just do?" Dipper looked down at his left hand. "I'm gonna be dealing with this for a while aren't I."

"You got that right kid!"

"Bill!?"

"Down here, kid!" the voice was coming from Dipper's sigil, "Normally when I finish a job I scram, but it looks like your fancy summoning ritual's keeping me around. Looks like we're gonna be stuck together for a while!" Dipper gulped.