First of all, thanks for all the follows/faves and reviews!
Guess who managed to update a day earlier than she was planning to...me! woot!
Lastly, I hope this chapter surprises everyone. In a good way:)
Note at the bottom about reviews etc...
The sun was cold. Too cold.
Arthur opened his eyes and blinked twice. It was directly shining into his eyes.
For a moment, he thought he was back on that accursed hill, about to experience his final death rattle, and all that he'd seen and done the preceding evening was just a dying hallucination.
Then his eyes adjusted to the light and he realised he was in his hut in Coulter, having embarrassingly gone to bed in his full clothing.
The sun had just shone through a crack in the door and happened to hit his face.
Sitting up and rubbing the cricks out of his neck, Arthur sighed and reflected on his situation.
Well, at least I'm still here. So, this truly is a second chance of some kind. Starting today, I need to start planning on how I'm gonna change things. But first of all...John. I must find John. He thought.
Cursing his slowness, Arthur pulled on his shoes and hurried outside to find Dutch and Hosea to check up with them, and then Abigail and Jack, so he could tell them that he was going to find John and forgive him for everything.
Closing the door of his hut behind him, he looked around to see if he could spot anyone.
Pearson and Charles were talking next to a table laden with supplies outside of an old forge, the latter rubbing his bandaged hand gingerly. He'd gotten injured in the Blackwater heist.
That heist was something else Arthur would probably have to address to change things, considering how much it had adversely affected everyone at the start.
The whole gang had stood behind Dutch and hadn't really questioned his actions on that ferry at all. The prime example being the senseless shooting of an innocent young girl, which had been completely against their so-called code and their moral beliefs. He'd have to try to upend that view to change the gang's fate.
Slightly further on, Javier sat outside the barracks polishing his guns. There either wasn't enough space for him inside, or Micah had been enough of an ass to drive him out.
Arthur passed him over. He didn't need to speak him just yet.
Then next to the hitching posts, someone was handling the horses-
A breath hitched in Arthur's throat. He staggered through the snow to get a closer look, almost tripping over himself.
It was exactly who the thought it was.
Lenny. Alive and whole. Here. He thought, wincing slightly as he recalled the sudden way the younger man had died; being shot down by two Pinkerton agents right in front of him.
Lenny's death had been so quick, so abrupt and relentless after losing Hosea, that it'd haunted him up until his own demise.
He'd missed the boy so much. He just had to...
I'll just say good morning to him, and then I'll go see Abigail. Just quickly. He decided.
Walking over, he mumbled a faint good morning to Pearson and Charles and nodded at Javier in recognition to ensure he wasn't left out.
Lenny noticed him approaching and greeted him with a wide smile. An expression that Arthur hadn't seen in so very long, and thought he'd never see again, that it made his heart clench quite painfully.
"Hey Arthur! Just checking the horses over. Your new stallion is a beaut. I heard that Micah found it- better not let him hold it over you." Lenny said conversationally.
Arthur took a deep breath, trying to rein himself in. Seeing Lenny again was overwhelming. So much so, that it made his throat quite dry and he found himself unable to speak for a few moments. But before the younger man could notice, he quickly swallowed and returned his smile, deciding to just do his best.
"Good morning Lenny. Nice job by the way. I ain't had a chance to really take stock of my new horse yet- even name it as a matter of fact. As for Micah, I never let him hold anything over me. He ain't worth shit." He replied evenly, managing to keep his voice from cracking.
Lenny laughed.
"Thanks. I'll have your horse ready if you need it today. And you're right. Micah ain't worth shit." He said.
Arthur let out a light chuckle. He felt buoyant, almost joyful. It was the effect Lenny had had on him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd come this close to feeling so carefree. That emotion had died with Lenny on that St Denis rooftop the first time, and now that he'd reconnected with him, it was back.
"Right. As much as I'd love to stay and chat and joke about Micah- I need to find Dutch and Hosea. Do you know where they are?" He asked sincerely. He'd forgotten the exact layout of Coulter and didn't want to waste time looking for them.
"Sure. The main hut. Right over there. All the folk are there." Lenny supplied helpfully and pointed the building out.
Arthur bobbed his head in thanks and left.
Javier was gone from his spot. Maybe he'd joined the others.
Entering the hut, Arthur shut the door behind him and surveyed the room. He took stock of everyone, just so he had a good idea of where they were that morning.
The women were huddled around the slightly burning stove with Jack and Abigail, while Dutch and Hosea were talking to Javier on the far side. Sadie sat by herself in a corner near the door, holding onto her wedding photograph tightly and looking into nothingness.
Strauss, , Micah, and Bill were nowhere to be seen. They were probably in the barracks with the other men.
And he'd almost forgotten…Uncle. Knowing him, he was probably passed out drunk somewhere.
That accounted for everyone except John, who was currently bleeding out in the snow on a mountaintop. He really needed to get on that, but he just needed to check up with Dutch and Hosea first, to try to put some sort of change into motion.
"Mrs Adler." He greeted Sadie and sauntered in. She didn't register his presence at all, and just continued staring on.
He felt for her.
Abigail noticed his presence immediately and stood up to welcome him. Dutch and Hosea glanced up and nodded at him before resuming their conversation with Javier.
"Arthur! Dutch told me than you've forgive John- or is thinking of doing so. And I... well I was wondering if you could go out and look for him as soon as you're able." She paused to collect herself. "It's been two days. I'm worried sick about him." She implored.
Unlike the first time in which he'd gruffly rebuffed her, Arthur met her graciously this time round.
"Sure. Don't worry, I'll find him myself. Maybe Javier can help me. Lemme just speak to Dutch and Hosea about one thing real quick and I'll go." He said warmly.
Abigail relaxed slightly at his soft demeanor.
"Thank you so very much Arthur. I'm glad you've decided to square your relationship with my husband. It's great." She said and sat down next to Jack, whispering something to him that made him hug her.
Smiling lightly at them, Arthur moved on to the rest of the women. Karen and Tilly and Mary-Beth returned his bright greeting eagerly, but Miss Grimshaw simply nodded at him and then went back to repairing a shirt she'd been working on before his entrance. Even in their current situation, she was always doing work. It was pretty commendable.
Only one person didn't acknowledge his presence. Someone he'd vowed to not let down this time around.
Molly O'Shea, she was huddled right against the stove and staring mournfully at Dutch. She obviously didn't like the fact that the man she loved, and thought loved her the same, wasn't spending time with her when things were currently so desolate. She looked like she needed some sort of comfort, so he walked over.
"Good morning Miss O'Shea. How are you this fine day?" Arthur ventured gently. He could give her a few moments just to set her right.
Molly flinched slightly and then looked up and smiled wanly at him.
"Oh, Mr Morgan. Good morning. I am fine, although I'm not too sure this day is. Considering how cold it is and that we just lost someone." She said.
"Davey." Arthur said.
"Yeah...I didn't really know him. But- well, I'm sad. Death isn't nice." She muttered lowly.
"No, it ain't. Not at all. Have a nice day Miss O'Shea. I need to talk to Dutch." Arthur informed her.
Molly nodded and went back to staring at Dutch with sad eyes.
Arthur paused. She seemed so despondent, that he really didn't want to leave her on her own. That had been the root of her unhappiness in the past, no one had ever spent a single moment with her and gotten to know her. Despite her behavior and "uppity attitude" as Karen had called it, he didn't think that was fair this time around.
So, he quickly walked over to Karen and Tilly and Mary-Beth, who were gossiping amongst themselves, and cleared his throat to get their attention.
"Hey girls, why don't you talk to Miss O'Shea? Keep her company. She seems lonely and considering our situation, it's better to stick together." He suggested.
All of three of them stared in suprise at him.
Then Karen sighed balefully, and Mary-Beth shook her head and looked disinterested, but Tilly seemed to think for a moment and then nodded.
"Ok Arthur. I'll- we'll try. Miss O'Shea usually ain't one for talking to us. But you're right. Us girls need to stick together when we can." Tilly agreed.
"Tilly..." Mary-Beth trailed off unsurely.
"C'mon, I made sure both of you was welcome when you first joined the gang. We should do the same for Molly. It's been months and none of us have even tried to get to know her proper. The same for her with us. We can at least try." Tilly beseeched them.
"All right. I'll try if you try. Karen?" Mary-Beth said.
"You know my opinion of Molly, Mary-Beth. I'll come...but don't expect any miracles." Karen warned.
"Oh, don't be so dramatic. Let's go. Thank you for telling us Arthur." Tilly said.
Arthur nodded approvingly as they called Molly over, who blinked a few times and then joined them after giving Dutch one last lingering look.
He left their side and finally approached Dutch and Hosea.
Hosea grinned at him as pulled up a chair and sat down next to them.
"Welcome Arthur. It's good to see you. Dutch just told me that you've decided to forgive John. It's about damn time. I was sick and tired of your ill-natured sniping." He said.
"Yeah, yeah. It's good to see you too old man. And I'll go looking for John in a moment. I jus' wanted to ask you and Dutch one thing." Arthur stated, unable to keep an undertone of wistfulness from creeping into his voice.
The last time he'd seen Hosea, was when Agent Milton had unceremoniously gunned him down and left him to bleed out into the street in front of the St Denis bank.
He failed to suppress a slight shiver at remembering Hosea's brutal death. It had affected him that much.
"Hmm. Arthur, are you all right? You seem a little out of it. Dutch told me that you weren't yourself last night. You were snapping at him and such." Hosea said, sounding slightly concerned.
"Me? I'm fine. There's no need to worry Hosea. I guess I was jus' a little shaken by all that's happened." Arthur tried to assure him.
That's right. I need to lie low...be more like my old angry self, so as not to make anyone suspect me. I need to act as if I still believe in Dutch and his mad beliefs, at least to some extent. He thought quickly.
"It was quite a shock Arthur. You didn't sound like yourself at all. Have you- have you been having doubts recently? About the gang? And my leadership?" Dutch questioned demurely.
"I apologize for that Dutch. I think that it's mostly the failed heist, and this whole situation just getting to me. The thing is, I think we should go east and lay low for a while. Because I know you, you'll want to go charging ahead into the next scheme with no break, and that's the last thing this gang needs. Now, I know we have no money and all that we have is stashed in Blackwater, but we can plan around that. We've been through worse as a group." Arthur stated evenly, the forced apology tasting bitter in his mouth.
"You sound like Hosea. But I don't know son. It's early days yet. I still haven't decided on what we're going to do next. Although, it's not like we're just going to find a big score up here, in the middle of the mountains." Dutch joked.
"Yes, Arthur does sound like me. And for good reason I wager- because Dutch, he's realised what we need to do at a time like this. In order to survive, and then thrive and prosper, we need to lie low. Heading east and doing nothing is our best bet now. Then there's our stash...we just need to wait on that. In the meantime, we can send someone Blackwater's way- like Pearson, or one of the girls even, to check on the whereabouts of young Sean and Mac. We've lost too many people. We need to re-group." Hosea argued, backing Arthur up.
Hosea...you really were our voice of reason. No wonder Dutch lost it after you died. Arthur thought somberly.
"Gentlemen, it's too soon for this. We need to find John, get some food, and try to figure out what the hell the O'Driscolls are doing here. Oh, we also need to bury Mrs Adler's husband. I can send Bill or Lenny out later." Dutch said wanly, obviously displeased that they were arguing against him.
"I'll deal with some of that today- hunting and finding John I mean. I jus' came to see you n' Hosea to apologise and sort things out." Arthur relayed.
"Well, thank you for apologising. You do seem more like yourself. And John- he'll be glad to find out that you've forgiven him. You'd better get going. Take Javier with you." Dutch advised.
"I had the same thought. As for the food issue, I'll go hunting with Charles when I get back." Arthur said.
"Right. Javier, Arthur wants to go find John. Now." Dutch called out.
Javier, who'd been waiting patiently during their conversation, stood up and nodded his assent to the order.
"Now? Sure. I know that John would do the same for me." He said and then turned to Jack. "Don't worry little man, Arthur and I will find your padre." He comforted him.
Jack nodded and hid his face in his mother's shoulder. Abigail patted his head and smiled at Javier in thanks.
"Come on Arthur." He said jovially and left the hut.
Arthur followed him out with only slight trepidation. Truthfully, he didn't know what to make of Javier, or their relationship.
In the days before the final train heist, Javier had acted like a fucking scumbag. He'd berated Arthur over his tuberculosis and "attitude" towards Dutch, even if he'd been very clearly ill by that point, and hadn't spent any time with Jack, almost completely ignoring the small boy.
This was in stark contrast to his past attitude- or well, the one he had now. When he'd viewed him and John as brothers, and little Jack as a nephew. He'd told the boy folk stories from Mexico and had watched over him a few times.
On the other hand, there was his fanatic devotion to Dutch and his ideology on civilization. Unlike the rest of them, he seemingly hadn't used it as just an overextended excuse for their criminal lifestyle, and had actually fully believed in it. He'd also told him that a long time ago Dutch had saved him, given him a purpose to keep living, and he was inclined to believe him despite his personal feelings on the matter.
Family and loyalty and ideology were very important things to Javier Escuella.
But that was why Arthur was so very angry with him. Because the former two values hadn't meant shit to him in the end.
He had chosen an insane Dutch and a traitorous Micah over the people he'd claimed to care about.
So, at that moment he didn't have a very high opinion of Javier. But he needed him, as much as he loathed to admit it, to help find John and fend off the numerous wolves that he knew would attack them.
Noticing that he'd fallen slightly behind the Mexican, he took a few short breaths and ran to catch up.
I wonder what happened to him after I died. Did Dutch disappoint him too? Well good riddance. He deserved it. To be betrayed by an ideology that he chose over me n' John n' Jack and everyone else. He judged harshly, meaning every word.
Javier called out to Lenny as they approached him, explaining that they'd been sent out to find John.
Lenny eagerly unhitched Boaz and Arthur's stallion. By the time they reached him, they were all ready to mount up and head out.
"Nice work kid." Javier complimented.
Lenny nodded.
"I'm gonna head inside and get warm. Maybe play a game of cards with Bill and Micah. I'll see you both later. I hope you find John." He said.
"I hope so too. He's gonna owe me for this. I have forgiven him n' all, but John is still an idiot of the highest grade." Arthur snarked, not really meaning it.
Lenny laughed and walked away.
"Yes, he is, Brother. Now let's find him before he freezes to death." Javier said and chuckled.
He flicked his reins and they set off.
Arthur looked around as they got into the valley proper. He was trying to remember John's exact location, but the only thing he could really recall was that it was quite far up north.
"So, brother, Micah told me that he saw John set off upriver. It shouldn't be too hard to track him. By the way, Micah was also complaining about you all morning. Apparently, you have some new "bullshit intuition", that gives you incredible insight. Maybe you'll find John without my help." Javier's joked, interrupting his thoughts.
Arthur gave him a veiled look.
"That's just Micah talking out of his ass. I ain't got some amazing new skill Javier. He's just mad that I was a better shot than him and stopped him from bullying Mrs Adler last night. Look…I jus' really wanna find John. Can we focus on that?" He said defensively.
"Sure, sure. Although, you and John...you seem to have forgiven him awfully quick. A few days ago, you were spitting venom at him, and refusing to give him the time of day over him leaving us for a year. Now, you seem focused on rescuing him as quickly as possible. What changed?" Javier asked. He sounded both puzzled and taken aback.
Arthur had to bite his cheek to stop a long-winded sigh from escaping. He'd have to think of a good enough explanation for his sudden change of heart.
I changed. He changed. Then I travelled back in time to the damn start of it all. Yeah, I'll tell him that. Arthur thought in a deadpan tone.
"I did a lot of thinking during the ride here. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I thought about damn near everything that bothered me about John: our time together under Dutch, his year off, his bad relationship with Abigail and Jack, and well- our lack of a relationship. I realized, that heck, I still care about the lumbering fool. Somehow. He's pissed me off so many times, more than I can count. But I still care despite all that." Arthur explained, doing his best to seem introspective, but not too introspective.
"Wow. I mean no offence, but that's oddly deep for someone like you. I'm glad you've found a bit of peace in your relationship with John. It wasn't pleasant putting up with your incessant arguing all the time." Javier paused and smiled. "I hope John gets the same fortitude as you and buries the hatch. Then the whole camp can finally be at ease, with its two biggest lunkheads having made peace." He said warmly.
Arthur couldn't help himself. He chuckled at Javier's commentary.
"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Hosea said the same thing. If John doesn't want to make peace...well, he's gonna be in for an unpleasant surprise. And no offence taken by the way." He said.
"Oh, well it seems John Marston better watch out. Here comes Arthur Morgan with his big heart, ready to forgive him for all his sins. Whether he likes it or not." Javier teased.
"Now that's quite enough of that. Don't need to make me sound like some fucking softhearted fool." Arthur growled.
"I wasn't doing that brother. No need to be so touchy. Anyway, we should turn left here." Javier suddenly said.
Arthur re-focused. He'd gotten so caught up in talking about John, he'd forgotten that he was supposed to be looking for him.
They went left along the river and then up the mountain in pertinent silence, both he and Javier paying attention to their task rather than chatting.
Soon enough they found John's campsite, and then it all came flooding back to Arthur. It was just like knowing where the Adler homestead was. Something inside of him was pulling him towards Johns location.
But he still let Javier dismount and analyze everything to find the natural trail of John's horse. It would be too strange if he just stepped in and magically led them to Johns precise location, especially after he'd sworn to himself that he would try to lie low.
The trail was rather straight forward anyway, it was just up and up and then along some snowy cliffs. They headed off after Javier satisfied himself with whatever he'd found.
As they now had a good idea of where John was, it gave him an opportunity to breach the topics of the Blackwater ferry heist and what Javier thought of Dutch.
"So…what do you think of Dutch? After Blackwater, I mean." Arthur gently but firmly inquired.
Javier shrugged.
"What do you mean?" He said.
"Do you feel differently about him? Not our beliefs, but well…the direction everything is going in?" Arthur narrowed his questioning.
"Well, not really. I don't get what you're hinting at brother. We- nothing has changed at all. As for Blackwater, that went south because of the Pinkertons. Dutch had nothing to do with it." Javier said breezily, letting Dutch off too easily for Arthur's liking.
"But what about the girl he shot- she was an innocent. You were there, you know how it went down. It was completely unlike him." Arthur rallied.
"I dunno brother. She was a hostage- she just got caught up in everything. Dutch was going to let her go, but then the Pinkertons arrived. He panicked and shot her. Then we got away." Javier said and frowned.
"Look, it just wasn't her fight. She shouldn't have been there. Maybe Dutch could've avoided taking the shot, but plenty of others died on that ferry. So, don't blame him for one death, even if it was an innocent. It doesn't mean as much as you think it does. He's still the same fine man as he's always been. Okay?" He added a moment later, although he sounded slightly uneasy.
Arthur angrily opened his mouth, fully ready to snap at the Mexican, then shut it with a firm click and reined himself in. He wouldn't take that approach. No, he needed to be more diplomatic.
And he was almost out of time. John was close.
"Javier…I get it. Dutch is still, well, Dutch. He's a force of nature and someone we all look up to. But I'm worried about him. It just seems like he ain't been himself recently. Maybe…it's Micah." Arthur suggested readily, and then shook his head forlornly.
He couldn't understand what he was feeling. For some reason, when he talked about Dutch like that, it made him more sad than angry. His fury felt oddly dulled.
Dutch had always been rotten, even before Micah, so...
Why do I- He started, only for Javier to disturb him.
"That piece of shit…I dunno- I mean, I can kinda get what you're inferring. Micah is a rat. No question about that. But Dutch wouldn't listen to him so readily, because he has you. This is confusing…wait, I remember now- it was his idea. Micah's, I mean." Javier muttered, furrowing his brow.
"What do you mean?" Arthur asked, although he had a good idea.
"To shoot the girl. He suggested it and pressured Dutch to do it and everything. But it all happened so quickly, and then we had to flee, so I forgot." Javier said and cocked his head in contemplation.
Arthur swallowed. He could see the end of the mountain trail, just where it led deeper into endless banks of snow. John's dead horse would be there, and then the man himself would be slightly beyond it.
It was so close. He estimated that he had a minute with Javier, if even that.
"Javier, I'll talk to you about this later. I was right about Micah. But we need to focus on John now. I have a feeling we're almost there- to where he is." Arthur rambled.
"Arthur…okay, you were partly right. But I still don't think there's anything wrong with Dutch. And Micah only influenced him once, albeit in a bad way. Let's just, as you said, focus on John for now. I'll talk to you later, if you want." Javier said slowly.
Arthur nodded. They went ahead, and sure enough, found John's dead horse.
He huffed nervously, heart beating wildly when he saw it. John was near, so very near. He'd soon see him again and would be able to patch things up with him.
Javier reached for his pistol, to signal John to their presence, but Arthur stopped him by putting up a hand. Javier raised his eyebrows questioningly at him, and his eyes widened when Arthur yelled John's name at the top of his lungs and headed off in the direction where he knew he was.
"Brother- what are you doing? Where are you going?" Javier asked quickly.
A faraway voice, oh so familiar and oh so missed, weakly yelling for help stopped Arthur from replying.
Javier widened his eyes again and stared in the direction the yell had come from, but Arthur was oblivious.
John needed aid. That was all his brain could comprehend.
He spurred his horse forward before Javier could even blink and forced it through the thick snow as fast as he could.
"John! I'm coming! Keep shouting!" He called out, keeping it up as he went along the narrow cliff.
Behind him, Javier yelled his name, but he ignored him.
"Arthur!" John said his name. His voice was much louder. He was close.
"Brother! Arthur- you just took off. There's no need to be so hasty. Be more careful." Javier chided him as he finally caught up.
Arthur barely registered him.
Then the snow became too thick to ride through, so he hurriedly dismounted and kept going on foot. Javier quickly followed him.
"I'm almost there! Don't worry!" Arthur yelled.
"Is that- Arthur! You're- I'm here! On the cliff!" John returned.
Arthur didn't stop when Javier stopped to rest. He kept pushing on, despite the aching pain of his bones and muscles from his exertions.
He rounded a high corner, stumbled across a snowy outcrop, and then looked down, over a perilous drop, and-
"Arthur...you're really here." John said gently and looked up at him, meeting his gaze keenly.
Arthur just stared. He couldn't do anything else.
Although John's face was covered in blood from his facial wounds- scratches from a pack of wolves, as well as dirt and his matted hair, through it all Arthur could see surprised relief in his eyes. It seemed genuine.
Last time, John had grudgingly accepted his aid. But now his response was different, almost the opposite. He looked as if he couldn't believe he was there, as if he was actually glad to see him.
Arthur pushed those feelings aside and inwardly shook himself. Now wasn't the time for baseless speculation.
Climbing down and ignoring how his body screamed from the strain of it, he helped John stand up. The man stumbled and clung to him for support, blinking wildly all the while. His expression morphed into one of pure disbelief, then odd calm.
John regarded him warily.
"What're you looking at Marston?" Arthur said seriously. John was worrying him.
"Is this…real?" John mumbled.
Arthur had to resist lightly slapping him to get him to snap out of it. It was just like John to get distracted at the worst possible moment. He'd forgotten that about him.
"Yes, it is. And don't worry, Javier is coming. Our horses are nearby. We'll get you outta here, to someplace safe. We've set up camp in an old mining town a short ride away." He explained.
"That's- wait, Javier?" John questioned, sounding shocked. He also paled slightly, his eerie calmness vanishing completely.
"Yes, Javier. Did you hit your head John? If you did, I hope it don't make you too much dumber." Arthur sniped. John's behavior was beginning to get on his nerves.
"I just, uh-" John started, only to firmly shut his mouth when he looked up and saw a panting Javier approach them.
"Arthur! Why'd you take off like that- no time for that now, I guess. Hello John. It's good to see you. Bad scratches though. Miss Grimshaw and Abigail can fix you up when we get back to camp." Javier said slowly, recovering from his ramble through the snow.
"R-right. Abigail…is here. Not anywhere else." John mumbled strangely.
Arthur rolled his eyes and hauled John up to Javier. He seemed oddly apprehensive of the Mexican.
"No need to be so squeamish brother. I'm here to rescue you, not kill you." Javier joked lightly.
"Yeah. I guess I'm just dazed is all. Sorry." John apologised.
Javier firmly hoisted him up over his shoulder and then reached down to help Arthur with his spare hand.
Arthur gruffly thanked him and then grabbed it and climbed up, steadying himself with the cliff so that he wouldn't fall backwards. Once he was all the way out, they set off back to their horses.
John was oddly quiet as they went, and he seemed to be avoiding Arthur's gaze, looking at the ground than at him.
" Hey, there's no need to be so mopey. Look on the bright side. You're not gonna freeze or starve to death on this here mountain. We've rescued your sorry ass." Arthur said, trying to comfort him as best he could. As oddly as John was behaving, he couldn't leave him to seemingly suffer in silence.
John blinked several times and then finally looked up, giving him a blank stare.
A moment passed as they locked eyes, and then John smiled.
It was a sad little smile, one that wasn't like him at all.
"I missed you Arthur." He said, almost slurring the words.
"Yeah. You should. Especially as I've chosen to forgive you." Arthur told him.
John widened his eyes in surprise.
"Forgive me? For wh- oh, taking off for a year. Yeah, that was wrong of me. I should've stayed." He mumbled, his face falling.
Arthur recoiled slightly.
He isn't acting like himself at all. Old John never would've said that. What's going on? He mused.
"Did you hit your head John?" Arthur asked.
"What? No. At least, I don't think so. I'm just- tired. That's it. Tired. And delirious. From my injuries and starvation and whatever." John said, sounding as if he was making excuses for himself.
Arthur wanted to question him further, but rather suddenly, several wolf howls echoed around them. It was that moment.
"Shit." He cursed under his breath.
They hurried on wordlessly until the horses came into view, but so did the wolves, on a distant crescent. They would be upon them any second now.
It pissed him off more than anything else. They were completely unnecessary.
"Javier, get to the horses. I'll deal with them." He said coldly and drew his revolver.
Javier nodded and started hurrying further ahead, while Arthur followed but kept to the right slightly.
The four or five wolves- it was five, growled and barked and started heading right for them.
Arthur seethed through his teeth. He aimed down the sights of his revolver and focused.
The whole world went red for a moment.
Five shots rang out in unison, and despite the distance and the caliber of his weapon, all of them found their mark. In hearts and brains and other vital organs.
The small pack went down in one focused sweep, before any of them even could even yelp.
Arthur released a shaky breath. He'd killed plenty of wolves over the years, but never like that.
In fact, he'd never done that before. Never.
Shaking his head before got too distracted, Arthur ran and joined John and Javier.
Leaping up onto his horse, Javier gave him a complimentary look, while John, who was behind him on Bauz, looked on in tired amazement.
"Well, well, well. It seems we have a future legendary gunslinger in our midst. I'd thought I'd learned everything. You need to give me a lesson sometime brother." Javier joked.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just keep going before more of them show up." Arthur said dismissively.
The ride back was slow. It'd begun snowing again, thick and fast, so they had trouble following the road.
Arthur easily picked off the remaining wolves that tried to attack them as they rode.
John stayed quiet most of the time, with his face buried tiredly in Javier's back. He only raised his head a few times to give Arthur a couple of long looks, before going back to slumping.
It was only after Arthur had killed what seemed to be the last wolf, did he decide to carefully press forward and breach the silence to speak to John.
"Everyone is safe by the way. Not just Abigail, but Jack as well. Just n' case you cared enough about the kid to know." He informed him readily.
John's head snapped up. His gaze was wild and alert.
"Of course, I..." John swallowed thickly. "I should care. And I do. N-now at least. I thought about them- Jack and Abigail, as I lay dyin' on the mountain. Even if he ain't mine- I'm sure he is now, I should be there." He rambled.
"Do you now?" Ain't that rather sudden." Arthur countered rashly. John was acting so bizarrely, that he couldn't help it.
John glared at him weakly, an expression that finally reminded Arthur of the old John he'd known.
"Woah, woah, brothers. Arthur, there's no need to be so judgmental. You just forgave each other, so don't start arguing again so soon. I think it's great that John finally wants to be a real father to Jack. The boy needs a padre. Heck, it seems the wolves knocked some damn sense into John aside from giving him some scars." Javier counselled them gently.
Arthur sighed and flicked his reins to force his horse to catch up to Javier, who'd drawn slightly ahead.
"I'm sorry Marston." He stated.
"Apology accepted Morgan." John concurred and went back to resting.
He hasn't complained about his condition once. Last time, he was moaning all over the place enough to make me want to dump him. Now he's all quiet like. He thought.
"See? Isn't it better to try and get along than argue incessantly?" Javier said genially.
Arthur nodded. He actually felt grateful to him for clearing up their brimming argument.
"Truth be told, we need to thank you for that." Arthur gave credit where it was due.
"Heh. I'm quite the peacemaker, aren't I? Although my fellow countrymen would beg to differ." Javier said and laughed.
"I'm sure they would. Hey, didn't you start a revolution? To overthrow a dictator or something?" Arthur asked.
"Well, I tried to. My dad, as drunk as he constantly was, raised me to be a revolutionary. But it all went south about five years ago- in 1894, the year before I joined the gang. Some of my family and most of my fellow revolutionaries got killed in an ambush by the regional government, and then I stupidly killed some retired military man over a woman. That made me famous among my countrymen, but I didn't really change the system to be honest with you. Anyways, I managed to get away, went north, got over the border and never looked back. Then I fell in with Dutch and the rest you now. He saved me, gave my life purpose." Javier explained wistfully.
So, you're just like me Javier. You was raised by someone who used you. Only you went from escaping one ideological nut job, to immediately being drawn in by another. If I could kill Dutch right now I would, but all of you would gun me down without even bothering to ask why. Arthur thought, the strange sadness from earlier returning in full force. But he took a deep breath and buried it deep down.
"So, for a while you was a rebel without a cause. Right?" Arthur joked brashly, trying to move on.
Javier laughed earnestly.
"Yes, I was. Very succinct way of putting it Arthur. I like it. In fact, when you think about it, now we're both rebels with a cause." He said.
"Yeah. We are. Outlaws for life." Arthur lied and smiled, not meaning the words one bit.
"Can you two please pipe down?" John suddenly requested. He'd raised his head and was glaring at them both in extreme irritation.
"Usually, you're the one being as loud as a woman Marston. All the damn time. But don't snap at us- I'll respect your wishes." Arthur said.
"'I feel like shit Morgan'. There, I complained. You happy?" John snarked.
"Yes. Very happy. Now try to get some rest. I don't want you collapsing on us. Being as useless as you is." Arthur countered.
"I won't be useless for very much longer. I won't allow it. I must look after my family. Each and every one of them." John said determinedly, as if it was a promise he meant.
Arthur blinked. He sounded like-
Javier's rich laughter disturbed their argument.
"Oh. This is great. You two actually enjoy arguing, don't you? Like little kids. By the way, Coulter is right ahead. We should be there in a few minutes." He informed them.
John and Arthur stared at one another for a moment and then looked away.
The rest of the ride back was quiet as Arthur tried to make stock of everything that had happened that day. His reunion with John hadn't gone as he'd expected.
Actually, Arthur didn't know what he'd exactly expected.
Seeing John again...it weren't easy. If I wanna be honest with myself, I should've been more guarded, more gruff. But I couldn't…not to John. It's gonna be hard to keep myself in line around him. He thought grimly.
Soon enough, they arrived back at camp, and as Javier leapt off Boaz and started yelling to alert everyone to their arrival, John gave Arthur a final lingering look.
Arthur met his gaze head on.
John opened and closed his mouth, then shook his head and adverted his eyes.
"Come on Marston. Let me help you down." Arthur said and quickly glanced at the main hut. Several people were coming out, he could make out Abigail among them.
Getting off his horse, he went over to Boaz and helped John down, being mindful of his injured leg.
"Oh, you're alive! You're alive!" Abigail yelled happily and ran to them, pushing Javier aside on the way.
"Abigail..." John said her name reverently and tried to rush to meet her, only stopped by Arthur carefully holding him back. He didn't want him to fall and hurt himself even more with his sudden lovelorn recklessness.
Unfortunately, this made him unprepared for when Abigail tripped about a meter away from them. He couldn't react fast enough because he was holding onto John.
"Oof." Abigail huffed as she went sprawling forward, but she rallied and clung onto Johns conveniently outstretched left arm, pulling herself up and quickly using Arthur's body to steady herself.
John laughed and hugged her close, almost knocking Arthur over in the process.
But Arthur himself countered by using both John and Abigail as leverage to keep himself upright.
This resulted in him awkwardly joining them in their fraught embrace for a few moments, before both of them simultaneously realised his presence and hurriedly untangled themselves from him and stepped back.
John coughed out of embarrassment and Abigail blushed lightly, before they both recovered and looked at each other and smiled.
"I ain't never leaving you again Abigail. You, or Jack. I promise. I realised...on that mountain, how much you both mean to me." John stated.
"John, I'm so glad to hear that. Jack'll be too." Abigail said, sounding slightly confused.
Arthur huffed in exertion. Their reunion was nice and touching and all, but It was taking all his damn strength to keep John propped up. He was extremely glad when Javier and Hosea came and relieved him of his burden.
"Thank you again Arthur, for everything. I'll try to be less...pissy in the coming days." John said, nodding at him as he was led away.
"Thank you, Arthur. You saved him. My John." Abigail said and smiled warmly at him, before running to help her husband.
"Come on everyone. It's a miracle that John is all right, but it's time to get back to business." Dutch said and waved them all away, leaving them alone together.
"Arthur, because of the snow storm, it's likely that you won't be able to hunt today after all. Now, I've helped Pearson carefully ration what remaining food we have for tonight and we should have just enough for everyone. But you'll need to wake up early tomorrow and go hunting with Charles for some game, and then maybe you can help me with some scouting-to look for O'Driscolls." Dutch said.
"Sure. Where do you want me now? I can help John?" Arthur offered. He wanted to spend more time with him, so he could try and figure out what was going on.
"No, let Abigail and Hosea handle him. I think Miss Grimshaw and Mr Pearson need help indoors. Go and see them if you want to do something. I know it's menial stuff, but it's all that's available if you really want to help. And If they don't...well Arthur, I'm afraid that you'll have to keep yourself entertained. We can't do anything in a storm like this. Maybe you can play cards or dominoes with someone? Dutch suggested.
"Right. I'll see if they need anything." Arthur mumbled and left to go and find Miss Grimshaw.
His mind was racing, going over and over the events of that day and all his interactions with John.
It occupied him as he silently helped Miss Grimshaw clean the huts, and after most of the storm had blown over, helped Pearson prepare, and then serve dinner to everyone. Before he'd have considered such work as beneath him, but he wanted to be kept busy than sit around doing nothing.
Either he wasn't smart enough or it was all beyond his understanding anyway, but he couldn't understand it.
Why John was behaving the way he was.
It made him feel frustrated beyond all belief.
He finished helping Pearson and then went to his room, so he could be alone.
Sitting on his bed, Arthur sighed.
He needed...to vent.
So, he got out his journal and started writing. At one point he froze completely still, staring blankly at the impossible thing he'd just written.
Then he laughed bitterly, crossed it out, and finished scribbling.
Putting it away, he got up and went to find Lenny.
And if he could, some booze.
May ? 1899 Coulter.
I feel goddamn useless. About everything. I can't even begin to think of what I'm gonna do to change things. Convince Dutch n' John n' everyone else to take a different path.
I don't even know what's going on. How I got here-back to freezing Coulter at the start of it all. I should be in hell, or heaven if the almighty God pitied me enough. Not in some strange other place.
And John...I have no fucking clue. He ain't himself that's for sure, but he also ain't not himself. If that makes sense.
Unlike before, He cares about Abigail and Jack. Actually, wants to be a father to him n' all.
I think he cares about me as well. Somehow.
What if he's like me
No chance of that. John was alive when I died. He musta got away.
He wouldn't have died that easy.
Howzat?
DW, I won't milk this too much :)
Jus' for a lil ironic humour and drama...
Next ch in 7-8 days if I can!
All right, the reception on this site overwhelmed me. To be honest I primarily read/upload to archiveofourown because it's way more convenient, but for people here to love my fic as well is pretty rand:) Thanks!
Thanks to shaojey, Yetmeister, Gone Wanderlust, Lord Demolitions, Natzo, and sloshedginger, for the reviews! It's so kind of you all:)
shaojey, here's the next chapter chappy! :D
Yetmeister, By God! I enjoy writing this! Plenty of ch's to come!
Lord Demolitions, Yeah, I've had that problem in the past. I do self beta...but I hope I can fix that problem as I go along. I apologise if the dialogue is the same in this chapter, please don't be too hard on me! I did my best. and Arthur introduced himself to Sadie, because he feels close to her/wanted her to know his name. Remember how close they were the first time around, and he's literally just died and arrived, he's a lil overwhelmed by travelling back in time :P Hope this explanation suffices.
Goner Wanderlust, I pondered the same things...get ready for the timeline to be messed up:P as for Molly, Milton confirms in the last ch of the game that she never betrayed the gang, never told him about the St Denis heist. She just lied about it because she wanted Dutch to pay attention to her (he was going all insane and wasn't). She was very drunk and depressed at the time, so she wasn't thinking clearly and thought riling him up would get him to notice her again. She's an innocent Irish lass.
sloshdeginger, I WILL CONTINUE!