AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there! First of all, I want to thank everyone that has reviewed my story or alerted them. I was so happy that you gave my poor first chapter a chance. It took me much longer than I thought to come up with the second chapter, mainly because the more I write the more I realize how difficult it is for me to use a foreign language. But I won't give up, I only hope that in the future I will be able to post sooner new chapters, maybe longer than these! :)
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Simply borrowing a few pieces for a while. I don't own any of the original characters of the Twilight saga. Those belong to Stephanie Meyer (lucky woman) and I hope to succeed in treating them well, although I cannot assure you they won't be a little OOC. The not canon ones are obviously mine.
RATING: M, but really not more then T until later chapters.
HYBRID PERFECTION – Chapter 2
Alaska, Seward Peninsula – Wednesday, November, 16th 2012
«AAAAAHHHHHH!»
I literally jumped out of my skin, even if I had prepared myself for it. I can't even start to phantom the pain he must be feeling right now. But I need to stop his trashing, otherwise he's gonna be in pain for nothing. The only reason I haven't been thrown away right now is that his limbs are still completely numb, having been reattached not too long ago. But I can't put his head back if he doesn't stand still, although I can easily sympathize with him for trying to break free from what I'm doing to his body, even if it's necessary. That may be it, I know that I'm helping him out, but he doesn't. Why don't I just tell him that? The fact is, I don't really know what's the correspondent of limbs' numbness for the brain in a dismembered vampire head. Can he hear me? Will he understand what I'm saying? Well, it's not like I have a plan B, so, let's just try and find out.
«Jasper, Jasper, hear me out!»
His frantic eyes turned on mine, his expression full of fear and pain.
«I know you're in a great pain, I'm sorry, but I'm helping you out, I swear! Do you remember being attacked, being dismembered? I'm reattaching your head, but I need your help! Please, stay still and I promise you the pain is gonna end soon. Please! Can you understand me?»
He stopped screaming, closing his mouth tightly shut and gritting his teeth so much I fear they would break at some point. Stupid male, heroic ego, it's not like I would think any less of him if he would keep up this whole "screaming like a girl" thing: I'm reattaching his head, for God's sake, it must hurt like freaking hell! I saw that he has also stopped almost every movement, so I was finally able to keep his last piece steady where it should go. That's good, isn't it?
«That's it, Jasper, that's it. Thank you for doing as I asked, I swear I'm only trying to help you. Now you have to resist for a while, your venom is reconnecting all of your muscles and tissues and it won't be long until the pain stops. So, just try to stay still and think of something good, like, like Alice and your family and the fact that you're gonna be back with them, ok?»
I saw his questioning gaze searching mine and I rushed to answer his unspoken question.
«And yes, I'm gonna tell you what I can about who I am and what happened to you, I promise.»
With that, I looked at him with all the sincerity I can muster, hoping for his gift to be functioning and maybe helping him to believe me. He closed his eyes then, hopefully concentrating on something's else than the pain and I sighed, relaxing for the first time since I started this awful task.
I looked at my watch, being careful not to move my hands of an inch. It has taken me a total of 4 hours to reattach his arms and legs. In the end, I opted for the "limbs first, head after" course of action, not bearing the thought of putting him through so much pain. Let's just pray I sorted the rights and lefts as I should! It's gonna be a while for all of his body parts to be functioning again, but as soon as he's gonna be able to talk, I'm gonna be in for some serious interrogation. Which is gonna be much more enjoyable than my game session of "Operation: Vampire version", that's for sure, but it's gonna be much more tricky to win. At least I am lucky he's not the mind reader!
A few hours before – Forks, WA
Bella's POV
After leaving Charlie's home, I stopped for a moment, looking at the forest and thinking of how big of a role it played in my human life in Forks, and how much my perception of it had changed: in these days I cherish it like a mantle of protection for the secret house of the big bad vampires, from the hate and the fear of the little and fragile humans all around. It sure is ironic. Since we were back in town as much secretly as possible, I didn't take my really subtle red Ferrari F430 to the Swan's Residence, but instead Renesmee and I enjoyed a playful run through the trees, obviously at our vampire speed, making us quite invisible in the dark to the possible curious human eye. So, after a last glance to my father's house, I blurred in the direction of our forest house.
As soon as I walk out of the woods, in the clearing that held my first, beloved house as a vampire, the almost deafening silence I found made me gasp out loud. As a "cold one", one the first things you learn is to forget the concept of silence as you knew it. With our supernatural senses, being able to hear the smallest of sounds from miles away, you never found yourself in silence again. But right in this moment, listening for sounds coming from the house, I found none. No one in my family was either moving nor breathing, the mansion really seemed abandoned.
Entering through the front door, I almost immediately spot them: my husband, my second parents, my siblings, all of them sitting in absolute stillness in the living room, looking very much like some exposition of creepy, dressed statues. Their gazes all laid on me for a few seconds, as I entered, each of their eyes mirroring every other ones, all full of deep sorrow and despair. In the Cullen family, nobody was able to do anything, anymore. After the first 48 hours, that were spent patrolling a one hundred miles radius of land around Seattle, and following every lingering vampire scent we were able to detect, with no results, in the end we all had surrendered to the sense of impotence and disbelief that was eating us from the inside out. It was starting to become a little too much for my daughter to endure: although obviously very mature, she still is a six years old child and Edward and I felt that the heaviness of the situation was starting to be a little too much for Renesmee, hence the decision of leaving her to the care of my father and the La Push people.
Since I was looking for Alice and she was the only one not in the room with the others, I smelled the air, in order to perceive if she was in the house, and what I felt led me upstairs. She was in her and Jasper's old bedroom, on the bed, obviously trying to have a vision: no surprise there, since she had done literally nothing else since that night in Seattle. Her eyes were pitch black, because she hadn't hunted either, in the last three days. I remember perfectly that, the evening of last Monday, among many other meaningless things, she had told me that she hadn't hunted with us the day before, because she and Jasper had planned a little romantic trip somewhere in the mountains, to have some alone time and to hunt more exotic preys. She had to be in some serious thirst, she was not talking to anyone and she was torturing herself with the non-stop concentration needed for scanning blindly the future like she had been doing for days now.
I'm not sure I can relate to what she's feeling. I don't want to insult them by comparing their feelings for each other to Edward's and mine. And in the past, when I thought I had lost the love of my life, the situation was highly different: he had left me, I was convinced that he didn't love me as I loved him. And I knew in advance what was gonna happen, I had the chance to do something, to try to save him. I had Alice, by my side. And we succeeded, she made me succeed. I don't know if there's a chance for Jasper to be alive, I don't know what I can do, she's the strong one, she's the one that has always been there for me. But now I fear for her sanity, she needs to express her feelings, to accept and live the pain, to lash out her despair. This time, I need to be able to be there for her.
After closing the door behind me, I moved my first steps into the room without any sign of acknowledgment from the unmoving vampire on the bed. As I eyed the remaining distance between me and her, I had a startling realization: I was very much scared. Of what, exactly? I asked myself. Well, of course of rejection, my inner voice answered, almost mockingly. And then, one moment I was looking for some trace of life in the empty eyes of my best friend, and the next, everything around me faded, leaving just me, floating weightlessly among my normally buried feelings for her.
After changing into a vampire, literally everything else also changed around me, and adjusting to the situation brought many discoveries in my new life. No doubt that the first and most powerful of them was the indescribable joy that comes with being mother to the most beautiful creatures of all. But many more surprises awaited me, some of them much more unexpected than others.
I finally got back my own separated identity from that of my immortal husband. Because, to be honest, from the first moment I laid eyes on him, he became my oxygen and nothing else mattered to me as being with me. I couldn't think of anything else, literally. It was only as a vampire myself that I did start to really comprehend what had happened to me. I was meant to be with him, from the day I was born, but my human nature was an obstacle and not only for the obvious reasons. The link between us was so strong and inhuman, that my mind was left with almost no space for anything else. From the moment, that night of six years ago, when I opened for the first time my thoughts to his mind, the maddening, never ending fear of not being ALLOWED to be with him, stopped. I was a vampire, equal to him, mother of his child, really part of his family: I was finally able to live our relationship like it was a ordinary part of my life and not something I had to constantly fight for.
This process gave many results. The first being my newly found role in the couple, which it's still cause of playful bantering between Edward and I. Apparently nowadays I'm always calling him on his flaws. He can be so much over dramatic sometimes and he tends to think too much in advance about people reactions to his decisions. Like anyone, it's not perfect in an absolute sense, but only in my eyes and right now I can see clearly this difference and we're really able to bring out the best in each other, while before we were both frozen in our efforts to convince the other of our feelings.
The first and most logical consequence of all this was my now restored ability of concentrating on my relationships with the others around me. Because, apart from Jacob, that had somehow forced me to face him and the feelings we shared for each other, I had mostly neglected everyone else. Not being anymore a fragile human and a danger magnet, not to mention their forbidden meal, had been the sine qua non condition for each member of my new family to really get to know me and vice versa. Now I have a unique bond with my adoptive parents and each of my sibling in law and I cherish dearly everyone of them. With Alice in particular, I found myself in an intense and most unexpected relationship that has failed to fit in any description I could come up with.
Sometimes I think I'm almost in love with her. And that scares me senseless.
The concept is not completely new, as a human I was really convinced of being in love with both Edward and Jacob. I think that my human nature was in love with Jacob, while the part of me that was born to be immortal and different from the people I had grown up with, loved unconditionally Edward. After my transformation and Jacob's imprinting on my Renesmee, all of that became only a fond memory and Jacob and I were instantly back to our best of friends bond and banter.
Alice has always been my favorite of all the Cullens. The first to accept me completely, even before really meeting me, the more relaxed and friendly, the person I could always go to and the one that was already there for me before I even knew I needed her. But, as much as I feel ashamed admitting it, the role she had in my life, I never really acknowledged it, mostly taking it for granted. I remember I was mainly complaining about her exuberance and meddling: I know she only meant well, but she was always forcing me to do things I didn't want to, I never stopped to think how wonderful of a friend she was to me. She was the one to come back when she thought she had seen me committing suicide, the one to risk her life to save Edward from himself and the Voltures.
In the first months after my change she quickly became my best friend. I spent with her the majority of the time I wasn't with Edward and Nessie. Since our vampire speed had reduced drastically the time needed for her makeovers, I started to suffer through them a lot less than before and even her shopping trips weren't that bad, because Rosalie and Esme were often there too and I was even starting to like the idea of enhancing my appearance, now that my immortality had made me really beautiful. In time, we found ourselves often wanting to spend time alone, always talking about the others and giggling like idiots about almost anything. And then I finally came to notice how sometimes I would just ask the right question, only to be able to look at her rambling in that adorable way of hers, when she's all excited and almost jumping from her bubbling enthusiasm. I would often find myself just staring at her almost transfixed by her beauty, not to mention the fact that I had progressed from enjoying her affectionate hugs and caresses, to being the one to initiate them and always wanting to be near her. One day, I had this epiphany and thought, what the hell?
Being a vampire, the thing you have in abundance is time. And so I did really good use it, thinking for days in a row about this strange pull I felt towards her. I wanted to be in her presence almost as much as I wanted to be in Edward or Renesmee presence. I never felt so much at ease with anyone else in my entire life, sometimes I felt even more relaxed with her than I was with my husband! I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong with me, that I was somehow being unfaithful to the unique bond I should have with Edward and that Alice herself would have found my feelings inappropriate and very wrong. I was starting to panic and Edward perceived I was preoccupied over something and pushed me to open up to him, until I finally surrendered to my need of coming clean with him about my fears.
He was immediately very comprehensive and controlled, much like he had been during the whole "I don't know what I feel for Jacob" phase, although I could see that the fact that the new subject of speculation was none other than his closest sibling had taken him aback a little. The key point was when I let myself think about Alice and then I opened my mind to his reading ability. He was much more relaxed after that, because he saw even better than myself that there was absolutely no physical attraction or sparks of any kind, that I just seemed very much in awe with her. He told me that maybe the role she had all through my first years of life in the Cullens' world had probably forged a very strong and unique bond between the two of us and that, as a vampire, I was at last really able to fully see her as the extraordinaire creature she was. He confessed to me that all of them have a soft spot for the pixie-like vampire, because, along with her ability of using her gift very often to save the family from possible dangers, she has this outstanding personality and no one was really immune to her incredible charm. As a matter of fact, every time she puts her mind on anything, she always gets her way, no matter how against it anyone is.
After that conversation, I felt much better, even starting to really enjoy this pull I felt for her and the sensations that being in her presence always brought to me. She is my special person, more than a best friend and sister combined, and I really can't help but feel this way about her. But I never came up with the necessary courage to talk to her about it, because I knew by heart that the smallest chance of her not thinking of me in the same way, would have been too much for me to handle. Her actions, her touches, her words, her smiles, were enough for me to pretend that she feels the same way. That's been fine by me, until today.
We Cullens look out for each other constantly, even if some of us seem more carefree then others. Since Jasper disappearance, we all have been at our worst, but still trying to help each other, even by just standing always close to everyone else. Alice's suffering the possible loss of her soulmate, a thing we all dread above almost anything else. Everyone has tried to reach her, to help her to cope with it, together with us, without withdrawing in herself and nearing madness. This unique bond I feel between us is the reason for my belief of being the one that's gonna succeed in finally reaching her. But what if I'm wrong? What if I'm just a sister-in-law to her, what if my attempt is absurd, since her sister of 80 years, her beloved brothers and the parents she loves deeply, had failed?
That's why, finally coming out from my intense mental monologue, I closed in a blur the remaining distance between Alice and me, climbing the bed to sit next to her and I started our conversation in the most unexpected way, surprising myself so much that I gasped immediately afterward.
«Alice? Do you.. Do you really love me? I mean, do you feel for me what I feel for you?»
And that's only when she turned her head and looked right at me with her beautiful, onyx black eyes, that I noticed how my own eyes were full of tears I'll never shed.
Back in the cave..
After half an hour, I could clearly see the changes in his behavior. He tentatively moved his arms and legs more often now, his posture was less rigid and finally, his eyes opened and fell once more on me. Black, from the thirst, but mostly calm, not frantic and in pain like moments ago.
«Welcome back.» – I said softly. I couldn't help myself, I was so happy he was coming back.
His gaze, curious now, kept searching my eyes, like he was literally looking for things beyond them. And then I felt it. I wave of peace, enveloping me like a blanket.
«Your gift is working, then. I'm glad, I hope this means you're gonna be all right.»
Once again, the answer I got was a silent one. I saw his eyes running now all around him, from right to left, up and down, assessing our location, no doubt.
«We are in cave, somewhere in the farthest west of Alaska, near the Bering strait.»
He couldn't completely hide his stupor and I was glad he seemed relaxed.
«Listen, it's a really long story, I expect you to have many questions and I promise you that I'm gonna answer them as truthfully as I can. But first, I want you to concentrate on your body. I want to know if everything feels at the right place. I know you're thirsty, but I think you're gonna be too weak to be able to hunt on your own for a while. Do you think you can manage waiting a little, or do you need me to» – I grin – «bring in some take-away?»
As soon as I saw his mouth moving in a little smile, but a real smile, nonetheless, I felt like waking up from a nightmare. And when I heard his voice, for the first time, I knew that he was gonna be ok.
«Thank you for your, really amusing offer, but I think I can wait a little bit longer: I don't hear any heartbeat coming from you, so I'm sure that everything's gonna be fine. As for my body, I feel very much numb, but it's getting better. I know the sensation of having a limb dismembered and reattached, although I've never lost all of them at the same time, not to mention my.. ehm, head?»
«If it makes you feel better, you're the first vampire I've ever seen in that condition.»
After this small exchange, the cave fell silent again. I kept quiet, waiting for Jasper to be the one to set the pace to this conversation. I saw him closing his eyes for a few minutes, as if concentrating on something in particular. Then his gaze fell once again on me.
«This is really awkward. I feel so much trust and friendliness coming from you, that I find myself put at ease much more easily than should be expected, although the situation is at least quite unique. Not only for the obvious part about you literally reviving me, but also because you seem to know a lot of things about me, while I'm fairly sure that I've never met you before.»
«You haven't. Met me, I mean. I know this must be strange, that's why I'm letting you take your time. I know you could simply wait to be able to walk out of here and leave without a second thought. And in that case I won't even try to stop you: I assure you, I have no intention of keeping you here against your will. But I would like for you to trust me enough to wait for your body to be fully recovered and maybe ask me for what you wish to know. I'm ready for any question you may have and I promise that I'm gonna answer either truthfully or with an explanation as for why I won't answer at all. And now I'm gonna stop rambling! Sorry.»
I looked down sheepishly, embarrassed at my endless stream of words, but I'm nervous and I tend to talk A LOT when I'm nervous. But as I looked up again, he was just smiling at me. Again!
«You don't need to worry so much, your emotions are quite clear, I feel your desire to help and to be trusted, so I don't think I will run away. But since for now that's really not an option, I'm gonna take your offer about that questions, starting with the most obvious one: may I know your name?»
At that, I really laughed out loud. How polite of me!
«Yeah, sorry about that, I tend to forget that I don't have it tattooed on my forehead. My name's Maya, nice to meet you.» – I said, extending my hand in his general direction, but then I redirected it near his right hand, seeing as he was not able to move his entire arm yet. He acknowledged my gesture with a nod and I felt his handshake, weak but firm, nonetheless. A true gentleman.
«Likewise, although it really seems a bit redundant, since you have saved my life, so obviously I'm very happy about meeting you, and also that you already seem to know who I am.»
«Well, given the situation, nothing is too redundant, I think.»
«True.» – And with that he released my hand and I just waited for him to ask something more.
But the second question wasn't coming. He was just looking at me with a thoughtful expression.
«I know that look.» – I said smiling. – «You don't know where to start.»
«Yeah, you're right. Too many things keep popping up in my mind, but I think I know what I want to ask first.» – He sighed. – «What day is it? And where is my family? I think they could have known what was happening to me in Seattle and.. Did something happened to them, too?»
He sounded a little worried and knowing his reputation of being always calm and controlled, I knew for sure that he must be REALLY worried. So I rushed to answer him.
«As you can see for yourself, he's night, between the 15th and 16th of November. You were ambushed in Seattle more than three days ago. I agree with you, Alice must have seen what was happening to you, but I might have escaped with your.. body, before their arrival. I.. I might have smelled them while I was running out of Seattle. I'm quite sure that nothing has happened to them, but I'm afraid they believe you're dead. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!»
After my little outburst, I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. As I was trying to find the texture of the rock I was sitting on interesting, I perceived a wave of calm envelop me. I felt myself get almost instantly relaxed by it, but it was unnatural and I couldn't help to feel a little violated by his powerful gift, although I knew I needed it and that his intentions were good.
«Take a breath. And relax.»
I felt his eyes on me, expectantly, so I looked up to see him looking at me with softness in his eyes. Geez, how sweet is this guy? – «Sorry, I rambled again, didn't I?»
«At least now I know the reason for all that guilt I felt coming from you. I think I'll need a much more detailed explanation of what happened in Seattle, but first things first. Why do you think they believe me to be dead?»
«Well.. For starters, your body parts weren't exactly "acting" like I had expected. Vampire limbs are supposed to be functioning even if dismembered, trying to move and reattach themselves to the body. But yours, well, they were more like pieces of stone, they didn't look alive at all. I thought that maybe the fact that the head was dismembered as well could be the reason: that would explain while I was able to reattach your arms and legs because locally the venom functioned as glue, but they didn't start to revive until the head was back in place too. I don't know, I'm just making hypothesis, because I've never seen or heard of a vampire decapitated that wasn't also burned.»
«Me neither. So, what you're saying is that probably my dismembered body wasn't enough alive in order for Alice to see it in the last three days?»
«Exactly. But even if it's true, that's not the only reason, because otherwise Alice should have seen you now, that you're back. I'm sure she hasn't, though.»
«And that's because..?»
«Because I know for sure that she can't see me, in her visions.» – I saw the surprise once again in his eyes. – «I am one of her blind spots, exactly like the La Push wolves and your niece are.»
«But.. You're a vampire, I can't feel it!»
«Yes, I am. But I'm not your ordinary vampire, either.»
«You're some kind of hybrid?»
I didn't really felt ready for that question and, of course, he sensed it.
«Ok, I'm sure that's gonna be another long conversation, one that will be handled by none other than you, at your conditions, time and place.»
My relief was evident, no need for his gift. I know the time will come to tell him about who I am, or rather to all his family. I want to. But I wasn't ready yet.
«Thanks.»
«You're welcome, it's the least I can do. I owe you my life and I'm really curious about who you are, but I don't want you to feel obligated or under any kind of pressure. And, to be blunt, right now I have a more important thing in my head.»
«Let them know you're alive, of course! Well, Alice can't see you if I'm near, so obviously I should leave you alone. And do not think I have something against it, although I'm not entirely comfortable with it, seeing as you're not completely capable of defending yourself, if in danger.»
«That's very considerate of you. But the only other option is for me to distance myself from you, but that's gonna take a while and..»
«And you're impatient to reach them, obviously. Well, while waiting for you to recover, I did think about this problem and a third possibility came to mind.»
«Spill it.»
«I'm aware that's not really your standard...» – smiling I moved my raised hands in the infamous quotation marks gesture – «"vampire horror movie" stuff, but.. why don't you just phone her?»
And with that, I reach inside the now empty bag laying on the floor behind me, taking out the leather pouch that contains the few possessions I always travel with. Among them, there is my beloved black iPhone that I planned to offer to Jasper, although I'm a little taken aback by his unexpected, but pleasant, musical laughter.
«Oh my! – He finally spoke after a good thirty seconds of what seems a real hearty laugh.» – «That was priceless! One moment you're speaking of dismembered vampire bodies and the next you offer me to phone my immortal family, from a cave in the middle of Nowhere, Alaska!»
His unexpected humor is infectious, so I found myself naturally playing along and putting on the mask of indignation, before answering his accusation.
«FYI, we are near the town of Nome and not in the middle of nowhere. Besides, you would be surprised of how many cellphone towers there are scattered in the woods. I swear to you, I started to think that maybe even animals use cellphones nowadays!»
In complete silence, we engaged each other in a playful battle of scowls, before cracking almost simultaneously and laughing together all over again.
«Geez! If someone had told me that after all that happened, I would be laughing with a complete stranger like this, I wouldn't believe them! You're really funny, you know that?»
«I was always told to be too disrespectful and sarcastic for my own sake.»
«Well, I don't know about the too much part, but, as far as I'm concerned, thanks: I needed that.»
«You're welcome. So, do you accept my suggestion?»
«If you don't mind me using your phone, I accept it with pleasure.»
«Be my guest. Just, try to not give Alice a heart attack, would you? Because if I'm right and they think you're dead, that's gonna be a hell of phone call.»
«If you right, I need to reach her as soon as possible. Because I can't even imagine being at her place right now, thinking I had lost her forever.»
Alas, the surreal playfulness has gone, his serious expression reminding me that, even if for now, everything's seems to be going in the right direction, there are still many problems ahead for me. Things I kept well buried for many decades are gonna surface and preparing myself for it doesn't really mean I'm ready. I look at Jasper as he dials the number of the love of OUR lives.
Oh boy! I'm officially screwed.