Entry 2

December 11th 2004

Last night, I experienced a nightmare.

It began with me standing atop a hill, with a short tree in front of me. Soon, a harsh yet brief wind flew by, and the leaves were covered in frost. One of them fell from the tree, only for me to catch it, at which point I noticed my own reflection in the leaf.

I was surprised to find that, although the girl in the reflection shared my physical appearance, her demeanor was completely different, particularly the horrified expression frozen on her face. As well as this, there was something wrong with her eyes that I initially failed to identify. Closer inspection revealed that there was a crack in the eye, which then became several cracks. I was soon able to see another eye underneath the cracks, and in the context of the dream, I concluded that the eye had many layers, and that it was shedding the outer layer in the same way that a snake would shed its skin.

At first, the inner eye did not appear to be ready, as it looked unfocused and lifeless. However, as what is left of the outer layer fell from my face, the pupil narrowed, and my reflection looked directly at me. It was at this point that I was once again aware of my entire reflection as opposed to just the eye, and my horrified expression has been replaced with a cold stare. Unnerved by what I see, I quickly turned and ran to the bottom of the hill, where a small building consisting of one room was waiting for me. I rushed inside without a moment's hesitation, finding the place to be empty save for another frozen leaf stuck to the wall. I saw my reflection in the leaf once more and turned away, and before waking I found the following words written on the door.

"DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE IT BACK?"

Since I have awoken, I have failed to interpret this dream, the final message being particularly baffling. I have no idea what "IT" could possibly be referring to, and I am ultimately undecided as to whether or not I even want to find out. After hours of pondering, I find that it is time to go to school, and, with some reluctance, I depart.

I once again meet with Mikuru Asahina at the school gates this morning, and in the process I gain a new appreciation for the phrase 'a sight for sore eyes'. Seeing her calms me considerably, and in spite of how small my changes in expression must be, she appears to be aware of this.

"A-are you okay, Miss Nagato?" she asks. "You look... tired."

"I had a troublesome night," I say. "The exact details may disturb you, and so I do not wish to relate them."

"I... I see," she says. "Well, I... I hope things improve for you soon!"

Before I am able to thank her, she rushes inside, just as she did the day before. And, much like the day before, my next meeting is with Kiyoshi.

"Hey, Nagato," he says. "How did last night go?"

I hesitate to answer, which apparently tells him everything he wants to know.

"That bad, huh?" He frowns. "Is it in your journal?"

"If you truly wish to read it," I say. "However, much of the content I have written so far may disturb you."

For those wondering, at this point my journal goes as far as the dream I had last night and its aftermath.

"Nagato," he says, "I'm your friend. If whatever's troubling you is as bad as it sounds, I have a right to know, so I can offer whatever support I can. I may not be able to do for you what you've done for me, but I'm still going to try, 'cause I'm stubborn like that."

"I... I see," I say. "...Thank you."

He smiles reassuringly as we depart, and for moment it seems as though today will be considerably more pleasant than the one before it.

As I walk towards my classroom, my thoughts become more and more optimistic, and while they do briefly return to Akira Hirano, I soon conclude that, thanks to last night's efforts, he has been arrested since I last heard from him, and now there is nothing to worry about.

It goes without saying how shocked I am to find him waiting alone for me in the classroom.

"Good morning, Miss Nagato," he says. "I'd like to thank you for the meal you ordered for me last night. I haven't had time to try them yet, but luckily, there's some room for them in my freezer."

I try to ignore him, but he continues speaking regardless.

"Unfortunately, if you decide to keep doing this, then I'll run out of room fairly quickly, so I must ask that you stop. Do you understand?"

"I seem to recall," I say, "that yesterday, you said that there was 'no point in being subtle anymore'. Has something changed since then?"

"Well, we are in a public place," he says. "But since nobody else is here, I suppose I can simplify what I said for you. If you continue to bother me like this, I will kill you."

"Your actions confuse me," I say. "If you hadn't invited me to your house yesterday, you might have continued to get away with what it is you're doing. Again, I must ask: Has something changed?"

"As a matter of fact," he says, "something has. The other day was the first time I decided to give cannibalism a try, and at the time I simply failed to consider the possibility that you might notice. When you did, I realized that if you chose to respond to my decision, it wouldn't be pretty, so I decided to invite you over just to show you what kind of person you were dealing with. Unfortunately, you didn't seem to get the hint, so I'll ask you once more: Stay out of my business, and I'll stay out of yours. Understood?"

I do not answer.

"You're an intelligent person, Miss Nagato," he says. "I'll assume for your sake that you do understand, and we'll leave it at that."

Before he can say anything more, other students begin to arrive, and he focuses his attention on the front of the room. I spend the rest of the day trying to ignore him, and for the most part, I am successful in these efforts.

Among the members of the SOS Brigade, things are relatively peaceful, although Haruhi is waiting impatiently for our journey to Canada.

"Isn't it weird how a creature from a certain place's folklore will appear exclusively in that place?" she says. "I mean, I guess it makes sense with things like the Loch Ness Monster, since that's kind of stuck there forever, but... You don't hear any stories about someone finding a Tsuchinoko in England, or Sasquatch in Egypt."

"Egypt is a terrible place for Sasquatch," Kiyoshi says. "Can you imagine being in a desert with all that fur?"

"Kyon..." She frowns. "That's not really something you should ask a lady. I hope for your sake that Mikuru didn't even hear that one."

"Wha...?" Mikuru Asahina suddenly sits upright, her mind apparently having been elsewhere throughout the conversation. "Um, yes... But where are we going to find a hundred and one hamsters?"

Kiyoshi and Haruhi look at one another, something more than confusion evident on both of their faces. The silence continues for a while until finally I decide to finish reading, at which point the others typically agree that now is a good time for them to return home. As promised, Kiyoshi visits my house in order to read my journal.

When Kiyoshi first reads the journal, it is not long before his facial expression changes from intrigue to surprise, leading me to wonder if he is a faster reader than I had initially believed. It takes me longer than I care to admit to remember the journal's original purpose, at which point I finally realize that Kiyoshi has just learned of my feelings for Mikuru Asahina. It takes him several minutes before he is able to continue reading. It takes him nearly an hour to finish the entire journal, and when he puts it down he is visibly shaken.

"That's... kind of a lot to take in," he says. "I'm not even sure where to start..."

Silence once again prevails for nearly half an hour, after which he finally speaks again.

"I don't know why," he says, "but that dream reminded me of that story you wrote for the Literature Club Newsletter. If you had a copy, I might be able to put my finger on why..."

I retrieve a copy, and he barely has to read a single page before finding what he is looking for.

"Here it is... 'I knew that I was once named Yuki'... And then there's this... 'Where was I? Why was I here?'. I can't really put the connection I'm seeing here into words, but you see it too, right?"

I think I understand. In the story I wrote, the protagonist had a life prior to becoming a ghost, but remembers little of it. In the dream, I behaved more human than I do in reality before being... replaced, for lack of a better word, by my usual self.

"Also," he continues, "when the journal mentions that you have a horrified expression on your face, I can't help but picture the version of you I saw in that alternate reality you created."

I nod understandingly. Although my memories of that incident are incomplete, I am still able to see the similarities that he is referring to.

"I'm just speculating here," he says. "...but do you think it's possible that you used to be human, but have no memory of it?"

"I... I do not know."

"I'm sorry," he says. "That's a big thing to ask, even for someone like you. But... I think that's all the more reason for us to seek out the answer."

Although I agree with him, I cannot express this as I currently seem to have difficulty speaking. When I am finally able to do so, it is not in response to what he has said.

"I think... I need some time to think."

"I understand." He stands up, ready to leave. "And... on the lighter side of things... good luck with Asahina, ok?"

I nod. "Thank you."

He walks towards the door and opens it, frowning upon finding another visitor on the other side.

"Oh, it's you," he says. "Kuyoh Suoh."

Kiyoshi still has difficulty trusting Kuyoh Suoh, due to an incident involving her trying to kill Haruhi Suzumiya. However, he has acknowledged that she was blindly following orders at the time, and has since changed considerably. In spite of this, he still has yet to fully forgive her, and surprisingly enough, she seems to understand this.

Due to it being one of my objectives to observe her, and one of her objectives being to achieve autonomy, which she believes I am the most notable example of, we meet on a regular basis, although much of our time spent together consists of me listening to her increasingly inane chatter. Last time we met, she claimed that her new ambition in life was to create the world's first puppen.

"I'd best be going now," Kiyoshi says. "I wouldn't want to interrupt whatever it is that goes on between you two."

He departs with haste, and as soon as he is gone, Kuyoh Suoh walks towards me and sits opposite me.

"Project Puppen-has been cancelled-" she says.

"That is a shame," I say. "Did you not say that the project was 72% complete?"

"I lied-" she says. "I wanted to see what it was like."

"To lie?"

"Yes. Have you tried it?"

Realizing that this is not a good time for one of these conversations, I quickly change the subject. "I have a favour to ask of you."

"That certainly-sounds exciting," she says. "What is it?"

"In my school, there is a Supernatural Phenomena Research Society. Its president has recently proven to be a very suspicious individual, and I would like you to infiltrate the society and learn what you can about him. If you are accepted, I would like you to make no mention of me."

"I-see."

"This may be a very dangerous task," I say, "and you are free to refuse it if you so desire. But th..."

"I would-like to do this-infiltration is so thrilling!"

"I see," I say. "Thank you. You may begin tomorrow, after school has finished."

"Of course-" She smiles, a gesture she has yet to perfect. Of course, she has made more progress than I have, so I am not in the best of positions to criticize. "I'll-be going now. Goodbye."

She disappears into thin air, in a similar fashion to the image on a television when it is suddenly unplugged. I have told her repeatedly not to do this in public, but she still does it whenever she can, simply because, in her own words, "it's something that-makes me me."

As I originally intended, I spend the last few hours of the day thinking about what I originally discussed with Kiyoshi. Eventually I decide that, while it will most likely be unpleasant, more clues may come to me while I am asleep. As such, I soon go to bed, despite being considerably more reluctant than I was the night before.