Tidal Wave
I suppose I should probably state that I know I've got a few other stories that are works in progress…but I haven't felt a need or want to write much for those…I'm sure I'll finish them/try to wrap them up eventually but yeah. Also I wanted to mention that this switches from past to present quite a few times throughout the chapter as well as the whole story.
Chapter Two: The Past and Pending
"That son of a bitch is going to pay." A voice spit out. Marissa found it difficult to open her eyes, especially since the lights were so bright. The voices speaking above her didn't help, but they all seemed to hush when they saw her eyes opening. She felt someone squeeze her hand and glanced to the left, seeing Alex who offered her a tight lipped smile.
"Hey" Alex murmured, using her free hand to tuck some of Marissa's hair behind her ear.
"What happened?" Marissa croaked her voice raspy. Alex opened her mouth to speak, but closed it quickly wondering what to tell her. Seth led Ryan out of the room quietly leaving Alex and Marissa alone.
"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, moving to sit on the bed. Marissa flinched noticeably at the action causing Alex to pause her movements before sitting back down into the chair.
"Everything hurts…" Marissa trailed off, turning her head away from Alex's gaze.
"Do you know what happened?" Alex pressed gently.
Marissa shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes, "He was…I…I can't…I tried to block it out."
Alex nodded subtly, while brushing some of her tears away with her thumb. It was then that Marissa noticed how red and raw looking Alex's eyes were; they didn't hold the intensity they usually did.
"You aren't going to leave me right?" Marissa's quiet voice asked breaking Alex out of her thoughts. Alex's eyes softened at her words, and she shook her head lightly. She made a move to get closer but saw Marissa flinch once again at her movements. She sat back down, offering her a forced smile, "I'll always be here for you", Alex murmured pretending that Marissa's actions hadn't hurt her feelings.
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"I knew you blamed me" Alex finally said shaking her head in the process. The blond had been unable to meet Marissa's gaze and after speaking still found it difficult.
"I didn't-"
"Don't" Alex interrupted holding up a hand, "Don't try to take it back. I know I was supposed to save you okay? I know I was supposed to be there. I know I'm supposed to protect you. I know everything I'm supposed to do, should do but I didn't. I couldn't. So don't try to say you didn't mean it because I know you did. I know you blame me, hell I blame me. I wish so much that I could take it away for you, take what happened away," Alex paused, "but I can't. I couldn't save you and that's my fault." She whispered, finally bringing her eyes up to meet Marissa's.
Neither spoke, they stood starring at each other, almost willing the other one to speak first. The silence in the room was becoming almost unbearable. All Marissa wanted was for Alex to put her arms around her and just hold her, that simple action gave Marissa more comfort than anything else. Alex shook her head, all she wanted to do was to kiss Marissa and tell her things would be okay, but almost every time she touched her Marissa would flinch, and as much as she tried to not let it get to her, it hurt. It hurt every single fucking time.
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The bed was shaking. Alex awoke with a start, all of the covers had been stripped off of her and Marissa seemed to be tangled in them. She was flailing her arms out but they seemed to be stuck because of the jumbled blankets. "No…please…no…." Alex heard Marissa mumble in her sleep, she knew what was happening and what she needed to do. Sitting up Alex gently shook Marissa until her movements stopped. She pulled at the blankets loosening the tangles around Marissa's body and proceeded to wrap her arms around the taller girl. Marissa stiffened at Alex's touch and tried to push her away, but Alex held on tighter, holding in her urge to cry as Marissa's tears started seeping into her shirt.
"Shhh baby its okay, it's just me." Alex whispered into Marissa's hair, firming her grip. After a few moments Alex felt Marissa relax in her arms and her breathing begin to calm.
This had been the fourth nightmare that week and Alex knew they weren't going to end anytime soon.
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Wearily Alex tore her eyes away from Marissa's; she didn't want to feel like her own girlfriend didn't want her. But she knew that she couldn't blame her for feeling that way, there was only one person she could blame and that was herself. She should have been there; she should have been able to save her.