"Hey, have you seen this?" My co-star and now good friend Rob exclaims. He's holding a booklet in his hands with the words therapeutic relaxation written on the front.
"No, what is it?"
"Anything we need! The company just paid for us to have free massages, spas, and other relaxation crap. They opened a center on the third floor at Slick Black."
"Okay?" I respond, not interested.
"Come on, this is like the athletes have. We have stressful days, don't you want to get those knots out of your shoulder?" he says and clutches my shoulder. I push his hand off me.
"I'm not that stressed out. I love work."
"Okay, yeah its great, but come on let's try it.
"Fine," I give in. We walk across the street to the productions building and find the large new room. The room instantly gives me a serene feeling, but it's probably due to the boring music and tiny waterfalls around every corner. Everyone is really quiet, I almost don't want to speak at the front desk. We just get some basic massages. I go into a small, private room and start removing my clothes with the exception of my underwear. I sit on the table and wait. The woman walks in a few moments later and I'm suddenly glad I got talked into this. She's really hot, tall with straight blonde hair.
"Hello, how are you today," she speaks to me before even glancing at me. She puts some jars or something down and finally looks up.
"Hey," I smile at her. She seems to be trying to hold back a smile. Maybe she recognizes me or maybe she's just affected by the enticing tone I used. Whatever it was, I'm glad something's working.
"So, have any stress or problems lately, or you're just here for some nice relaxation?" She inquires.
"No, everything's great, just trying this out and glad I did." I look her up and down noticeably and she nearly lets out a giggle, but holds it back well. "I'm Joey," I add.
"I know who you are," she tells me.
I love hearing that.
"Well, aren't you going to tell me your name?" I ask.
"Phoebe," she says.
"Phoebe, cool name."
"Thank you, now would you mind laying on your stomach and we can get started."
"Should I be- naked?" I say in another deep tone. She looks at me.
"You don't need to be, unless you want to."
Well, that wasn't much of an invitation, usually a line like that would have a much more determining response. Maybe she doesn't even like me?
Now she waits for me because I'm not laying down or undressing or doing anything.
"Is there a problem?"
"Do you find me attractive?" I flat out say. She looks surprised.
"Um, why do you ask?"
"Well, I'm attracted to you and I wanted to know if the vibe was mutual."
She hesitates before answering.
"Hmmm-" she looks aways.
"Is that a woman thing?"
"What?" she asks, confused.
"You girls always look away when you're flustered or something. I mean is that a good sign or a bad sign?"
She thinks it over with a small smile on her face.
"I guess it means we're flattered, yeah usually. If we are annoyed or something we're not gonna look away. So, yeah I guess we do do that, huh."
"Hm."
She looks at me now as I'm contemplating what she told me.
"That happens a lot to you doesn't it?" She asks in a knowingly manner.
I give her a playful look.
"I don't know, but I noticed it a lot with someone recently."
"Oh, just one person, who's the lucky lady?" She teases.
I smirk at her.
"Actually, Rachel Green was doing it a lot, but she's married so that's why it didn't make sense."
"Mrs. Green?" Phoebe's voice is slightly surprised. "Well…" Now her tone is almost hinting towards something.
"What?" I ask.
"Well, it's just I heard she's been on and off with her husband for years."
"Really?"
"Yeah, they would date for years, then break up for a few, then get back together. It's a wonder she actually got married, but they have a daughter so maybe that's why."
Now my eyes go wide.
"She has a kid?"
"Yeah, a cutie, she's came to the office one or twice."
"Wait, how do you know this?"
"People talk, especially about her. She's a big deal and apparently her love life is some juicy gossip. I haven't even worked here long and I already found out so much!" She laughs.
"Anything else?" My curiosity takes over.
"Not really."
A few moments of silence because I'm thinking. She breaks it.
"So, how about that massage now?"
"Oh, yeah."
It ends up me and Phoebe really hit it off, but surprisingly only as friends. I did want more, but neither of us never made an actual move and eventually I realized she's pretty awesome. Soon enough, I sort of didn't want to sleep with her and never call her back. I mean if she offers I'm not saying no, but she's a lot of fun. I go to get a massage at least once a week, but most of the time I don't even get one. I just go to see her and hang out. I like her, she has a really interesting life- no honestly I don't now how she's alive. She tells me some crazy stuff.
So, about a month more of shooting has passed and like I said I've been going to the massage place often and requesting Phoebe every time. I find out people are starting to talk when I go into Phoebe's room one Tuesday afternoon.
"What's up, Pheebs?" I say completely oblivious to the looks the other workers have been giving me.
"Well, rumors are what's up."
"Huh?"
"Everyone here thinks we're sleeping together. They are trying to get it out of me because I'm not allowed any 'sexual acts' in this room," she chuckles as she tells me.
"Really?" I laugh too.
"You just keep coming so often and no one gets requests but me, so they assumed its more than a massage."
"Wow, look at us. We're the sexy new couple," I joke and she laughs at that. She wiggles her eyebrows jokingly.
"Why don't they just come in and check on you or something?"
She shrugs her shoulders.
"I guess they don't want to walk in on anything,"
I smile and raise my eyebrows too.
"So, how's filming?"
"Yeah, great! But you know what's weird? Rachel has come to watch some of my scenes lately."
"Really? Ooh, you know I wouldn't be surprised if her marriage was having some…problems," she whispers the last word as if it's taboo.
"You think so?"
"I don't know, I mean I heard he's really nice, nothing like abusive or anything, but there's got to be a reason for them being so on and off for so many years."
"Maybe," I say, thinking it over.
"Well, you know you are…very attractive," she says in a giving in tone, knowing it's what I wanted to hear the first time we met.
"Thank you!" I finally dignify.
After Phoebe put the thought in my head, I couldn't get it out. What if Rachel's marriage was on the brink of divorce and more than that, what if she actually might have a thing for me? As much as I rule her out in my head, I can't let go of the possibility. It could be possible I actually have a thing for her, otherwise I probably would have slept with her anyway. But I didn't, was it because she's married or because I feel more for her? I wasn't crazy about these new feelings so I did what I do best to forget about real emotions, go to a bar and pick up some hot chick.
I run out of my apartment the next morning to get to work, I always leave them a nice note explaining I had a great time and had to get to work. Usually, they show themselves out and then just wait for me to call again, which I don't. I walked into work feeling pretty satisfied and happy my head was clear of any confusing questions. I got to work early to make sure I would be out before my one night stand woke up. It's best when there's no direct communication in the morning. Since I had time, I went to Slick Black to hang with Phoebe. I hoped she was even here this early. I walk though the front doors and go to sign in. We have these ID cards to entitle us to all the free stuff. I turn away from the front desk and the sight I encounter makes me inhale a sharp breath. It's Rachel wearing a tight, short skirt. Why did it have to be so short? I can't take my eyes off her stunning legs. She's walking right towards me and if I don't look up soon she'll definitely notice my lowered vision. I look up, but I'm not sure if it was too late. When she gets closer, I see her hair is behind one ear and the dangling earring she is wearing makes the blue in her eyes stand out immensely. At least, I'm not looking at her legs anymore.
"Hello, Joey," she greets me.
"Hey- Rachel," I almost choked on my own words. "Uh, Mrs. Green?" I quickly change realizing I've never addressed her by name and Phoebe calls her that.
"Rachel is fine, whatever you're comfortable with."
I just nod my head like idiot.
"So, the movie is really coming along great, isn't it?"
"Yeah, yeah definitely," I agree too fast.
"Well, I was off to breakfast. Should probably get in the most important meal of the day," she smiles.
"Oh yeah, me too." I quickly answer. What am I doing? She gets the hint I stupidly dropped and invites me to breakfast with her. I can't back out now. We walk in near silence as I don't know what to say anymore. We go to the dining room and fill our plates. She starts walking away, towards the exit when she turns back around.
"Oh right, usually I eat in my office." She takes a step back to me, but then pauses again. "Would you mind?"
"Eating in your- no, that's fine."
Well, that's a smart move, don't only eat with her, but all alone in her office! Genius move Tribbiani!
We get there and she tells me I can pull over one of the small tables against the wall. I sit in a chair facing her desk which she eats at her desk. It's a bit awkward, I feel like I'm sitting in front of a school principal or something, but eating a meal with them. I don't say much, but I think she senses it too.
"So… weird I can't think of anything to talk about," she tries to joke. I mean to smile, but for some reason it doesn't come out. I want to think of something but I can't. When I think through about what I could mention all that comes to mind is her husband.
"So, do you have a busy day?" is what I come up with.
"Not too bad, the usual today."
I nod my head and take another forkful of scrambled eggs. I want to ask her so bad about her marriage, but I can't!
"Do you- have any kids?" I randomly ask. I feel stupid, but luckily she's fine with it.
"Yes, actually. I have a beautiful two year old daughter."
"Aw, wow."
"Yeah, she's amazing."
"I bet."
More awkward silence.
"Joey, are you okay?" She throws at me unexpectedly.
"Yeah…why?"
"Well, it's just…I mean I know we haven't had that many conversations, but you were very- comfortable the first few times we talked. Have I done something to make you uncomfortable?"
"No, no!"
I must have been so obvious. Why did I practically hit on her when trying on that tux?
"Sorry, I just… well I, no nothing."
"What?"she asks.
Oh god, why did I say anything. Now I have to think of something, but I must know myself too well to know I'm an awful liar and I come out with the truth. Well, some of it.
"I heard some things about you…your marriage."
She showcases an interested look.
"Like what kind of things?"
"Just some people talking, probably all lies."
"Well, can you tell me, I'd like to hear them."
"Just that you might be having some problems. You two are on and off again?"
She doesn't answer right away and I'm instantly nervous I could have brought up a real sore spot.
"I'm sorry," I apologize.
"For what, Ross and I are extremely happy, those are all snippy rumors!"
A second ago I would have believed her, but the voice she said the sentence with was actually really fake. I didn't believe her for a second.
"Um, alright good." My voice must have sounded skeptical because she takes offense.
"What, you don't believe me?"
"No, I do."
"Well, it didn't sound like it. Do you think it's not possible for me to make a marriage work?" She accusingly snaps. I don't know how to respond, but she then holds up her hand.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I lashed out like that."
I bite my lip, concerned about whether I should say anything now.
"I- I'm sure you're very happy."
"Well, I- am."
The reason she paused right there is unclear to me, but I know it's sign. But what can I do, if she's unhappy she's clearly not going to confess to me.
"I've never been married, so I don't know, but I do know it's not worth faking happiness. My parents got divorced only a few years ago, but they should have done it sooner."
I needed to say something, it just came out. I probably shouldn't have said anything though, especially because she's not saying anything right now. I gulp nervously. I'm shocked when she finally responds because it's not some simple agreement most people would say or some more opposition to prove their right. Instead she opens up to me with this:
"I am happy, just not all the time."
Should I say something, I wait and good thing because she does continue.
"Ross is an amazing dad and I do love him, but-"
"But what?" I pry after a few moments.
She looks up at me. I can sense sadness in her blue eyes and it pains me to see it.
"Why am I telling you all this? This is silly-"
"No, it's not," I stop her. Her face freezes, surprised I'm asking to hear more, surprised I'm taking her so seriously.
"Okay," she speaks softly. "I love Ross, but I always have. When we got married everything was so good. I thought it would really last this time. But we just…get into the same arguments all the time. I'm beginning to think there are just these parts of us that will never fit exactly right and there's nothing we can do to change that. Does that make sense?"
I nod, taking everything she's saying in. I don't know if I ever listened to a girl this intently, that wasn't my mother. She seems a little depressed now and I think I should stop encouraging this conversation. I think of what I could say to cheer her up again. I wish I knew her better. I think of the something I learned just today.
"What's your daughter's name?"
It immediately puts a smile on her face and I smile back.
"Emma," she says.