In the once abandoned cabin that was now ours I finally stopped running. I scarcely noticed the changes we had made over the years, the work we had put into making it ours. It was a place we went when we needed to be alone together, or just alone.

I sank to my knees in the living room, my eyes squeezed tightly shut as if to block the tears that could never come. I could feel myself shaking, felt my fists form into tight balls and my teeth clench. I had forgotten how to breathe.

Her letter was crumpled in my right hand; I had held onto it as if it were the only thing keeping my sane. Perhaps it was. I opened my eyes and lifted the paper, gently smoothing it out to read it again, though I would never forget what it said.

Dear Jasper,

I have to leave. I can't tell you why or where or even if or when I'll return. I'm telling you now because you have to be strong for the others, and because you understand without understanding, and accept it without accepting it. Because you'll let me go without letting me go.

But the others cannot know yet. They cannot know until it is too late for them to find me. They would try to bring me back, and that is something I cannot allow.

I wish I could stay, or at least could explain myself to you. I'm sorry I have to hurt you like this. Know that I will long for you every second that we're apart. Know that I love you. You, Jasper, are my life.

Be strong, take care of yourself, and hold on. We'll be together again someday, you and I.

-Alice

I dropped the letter as my arms moved to wrap around my sides, as if that could offer any comfort. Tearless sobs racked my body and threatened to tear me apart. Soft whimpers separated by desperate gasps escaped me.

Eventually I reminded myself that I needed to pull myself together. I understood that she was doing what she had to, the only thing she could do. I knew that it would hurt the others, and that they wouldn't understand as I did.

For I did understand, to a certain point. I didn't understand what had caused this, I didn't understand why she had felt she had to do what she had done, but I understood that if she had done this it was because she had believed she must. And I understood that if it were at all possible, she would return, even if I didn't know when.

It didn't stop the agony of her being gone, but it lessened it to know she had had no other choice. To know that she still loved me and would come back someday. To know that we would be together again. And while the pain was still there, I could bear it. I had to.

The others would not understand any of this. I would have to hide my own pain, my own agony. I would have to be strong. I knew she had chosen the only course available to her, I knew she would return if ever it were possible. The others would not be able to accept this so easily.

I would have to go on, for her and for them, and I would have to help the others to do the same.

This would tear everyone apart.

I stood, slowly, and focused on calming myself. I grew still, and quiet. I forced my breathing into a more regular pattern. I checked to be sure that the turmoil I felt inside would stay there, and not project itself onto anyone around me.

I ordered my thoughts, focusing on things that could not give me away to Edward. I prepared myself to think on the football game Emmett and I had been planning on watching tomorrow, school, the book I was currently reading. The trip I had promised Nessie to see where I had grown up. Simple things. Right.

I carefully folded the letter and placed it in my shirt pocket, next to my heart. I stepped outside; it was raining here, too, I noted, then turned to run home.

Disclaimer: I own not any part of the Twilight Saga whatsoever, nor do I own anything else you may recognize, or not recognize.