Thankyou for my ONE REVIEW Swetlana! You are a gem in my eyes, and to the unrepentant review lepers I merely glare. I need more reviews before I post the next chapter. It has been proofed out and is all set to be hilarious. My desire for ego petting, however, far outways my desire to be perky and punctual. Armand will love you for it. And the reveiws are a chance for reader input in the story. I would be more then happy to implement any ideas that you, the collective readers (or reader, oh woe is me) would like to see in the story. To Swetlana, Lestat's humiliation will be grand indeed. I thank you heartily. Enjoy and review S'il vous plait!
Claire Danes was dancing on the flying Galley ship when Armand walked into the theatre room.
"You've been glowing more brightly every day and I think you know why."
"Of course I know why I'm glowing. I'm a star! And what the stars do best?"
"Well, certainly not the waltz."
Armand rolled his eyes as he took in the two blond vampires cuddled up on the couch, Lestat giggling like a loon, and his Master mouthing the words.
Armand joined them on the couch, sitting on the arm of the chair to Marius's left.
"Don't sit on the arm of the couch, Armand. You'll ruin it that way." Lestat chided him with a smirk. "Here, sit next to me, there's space here."
Armand glared daggers at Lestat. "No thanks, it's my couch. I'll sit where I want."
Marius sighed, not looking away from the screen. His reluctance for this conversation on couch etiquette came from his desire to remain focused on the film.
"Just sit on the couch, Amadeo. Don't be difficult in front of Claire Danes."
"But Master!"
"Now, Amadeo!"
A grumbling Armand made his way to the spot next to Lestat. Lestat grinned sweetly at the disgruntled teen vampire, and then turned away from him, his body facing towards the ancient blonde vampire, ignoring the expectant boy-child. As Marius watched a glowing Claire Danes waltz across the screen with the male protagonist, his fledgling sat with crossed arms on the couch, a full cushion space away from his master. Separated by Lestat and his Master's undying (or un-dead) love for Claire Danes, Armand was at odds with his current scenario. Lestat baited him down to the theatre room, Armand was sure of that. But for what reason? And why couldn't he sit on the arm of the chair? It was his chair!
"Isn't she darling, looking at him like that? So coy." Lestat mentioned to Marius.
"If I were him, 'Stat. If I were him." Marius replied shaking his head ruefully.
Armand stared closely at the screen.
"Oh, can you see the little white line around them, they've been edited in. That is poor quality for such a high budget film."
"Don't ruin it for me, Amadeo!"
"Yes Armand." Lestat said with a smile. "If you can't say anything nice, then sit down and shut up!"
"It would be nice, if they had edited correctly is all that I'm saying. I'm merely stating a fact. If you insist on being so rude you can -"
"Shhhhhh Shhhhhh Shhhhhh! Look! They're about to kiss!" Marius was humming with enthusiasm, whilst Lestat and Armand sat staring at one another, an eerily sinister smile on each of their faces.
Armand was smiling because he was thinking about how he would like to remove Lestat's smile. Preferably with some large scissors or a cheese grater.
Lestat was smiling because he was anticipating his plan's success.
Claire Danes was smiling because she was in love, and so was Marius.
The tense moment passed between the three vampires as Armand and Lestat settled back onto the couch, each centimetre between them a centimetre too close.
"So, how was the show Marius? Was it, uh, was it good for you? You know … all the aspects? Good, uh, good actors, good themes… good company? Yeah?" Lestat's increasingly high tone was wearing down on Armand's nerves. An oblivious Marius merely nodded and focused on the screen.
"Yes… quite good it was."
"So the fairy queen was well behaved then, was he?"
"Yes … quite good."
"And the little impish gremlin too?"
"Hmmm, hmmmm, sure."
"And the devil child beside you?"
"Hmmmm, yes, yes."
"And what about Armand?"
"What?" Marius reluctantly ripped his gaze from the screen to address Lestat.
Looking more closely at the scene, Marius could see Lestat sitting calmly, facing Marius as if in pleasant conversation with Armand's thin, strangling fingers encircling his neck.
"What are –"Marius began exclaiming. Armand quickly removed his fingers from Lestat's constricted neck and sat nonchalantly on the couch, legs crossed, his hand gently positioned on his knee, the very picture of cinematic enrapturement. All occurring in a fraction of a second. Marius was uncertain what he was seeing, the glare from Claire Dane's glow still dulling his vision.
"Hmmm, did you need something master?" Armand turned to speak to Marius, his face the picture of innocence.
"Air?" Lestat's snide remark seemed comical in its sarcasm.
"What just…?"
Before Marius could look further into the matter, Armand drew his attention back to the TV screen. "Oh, now what is that rogue doing to poor Claire Danes?"
"Rogue?!" Marius's head snapped back to face the screen, so Lestat was not the only sore necked individual.
Lestat sat back on the couch, rubbing his neck.
Ow, can I say?
No, no you may not say anything ever.
Why the neck? Always the neck?
I can't say it was pleasant for me either. I am loathe to touch your insidious neck.
Hey, what's wrong with the neck?
Everything is. Your mum is.
Why do you hate my mum?
Because, she's your mum.
You don't even know what that means.
Yes I do. It's an insult! You've just been insulted!
How do you know it is an insult?
…..
Well?
Because. I heard some humans say it, and they seemed insulted.
What exactly did they say?
Well, one human asked the other what they did on the weekend, and the other said "Your mum" or "Ya mum" or something like that.
….
And then they all went "ooooooh" and the human with the mum looked abashed.
Your mums abashed.
My mums dead. What's your point?
Ugh, you little idiot.
What? I got it right didn't I? You were insulted.
No I wasn't
Yes you were
Not really.
Not for just a little bit?
Nope
I think you were back there, just a little bit.
…
When I first said "your mum" and then in your head you were like, "oh…"
You cute little idiot.
Urgh, Lestat calling me cute. I know you're lonely, but I have standards.
Puh-lease. Any Blonde will do. You love me really.
You just keep telling yourself that, and be sure to tell your mum.
Just LET IT GO already!
It got to you, admit it.
Shut up, alright. You know, you are really just sub-par tonight with the whole strangling episode. Didn't even hurt. Epic fail there.
…. But I got you on the your mum bit. Admit it.
No, we are not having this conversation. You don't even know what it means. It's like going round saying "lol" when the word has no meaning. It is a non-word! It does not exist!
It does not exist?
It has ceased to exist; it is an ex-word!
As in, "This is an ex-parrot!"? Lestat, you are so easy to read. I could see that joke coming from a mile off.
It's a classic joke!
You're a classic joke. Now you see, with the mum joke, you were just ambushed. You didn't even see it coming. You couldn't. That's the beauty of it.
THERE IS NO BEAUTY WITH THAT JOKE!
Nor with your mum, but hey.
IT MEANS SEX! WITH MUMS! THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!
URGH! Disgusting! You have a dirty mind, Lestat. I bet that's not even what it's about at all.
That is what it means. It is the only meaning for that joke.
Noooo, noooo! That's disgusting, why even make me think that Lestat? Your own mother! You disgust me. You're disgusting
Alright then, it's a bet. That is what it means.
That is so not what it means. How could an entire generation find that funny if that's what it means?
How much would you be willing to bet? Would you bet Marius?
No! That's like asking if you would bet Louis.
No, I can't bet Louis. Louis doesn't like me gambling.
So what's the deal with Marius then? You just needed an outlet for your Claire Danes-ness?
What? Like you needed an outlet for your strangling urges.
Well, I do feel much better now that that's done, so thanks for that.
Oh, well by all means, you're welcome. To tell the truth, I can't stand the girl.
*Shock* Claire Danes? Why?
Well, you can't tell me you like her, the way you are so intently watching the film.
During Armand's stay in the theatre room he sat mostly like a bored school boy, leaning messily on the arm of the couch, his slender fingers supporting his head, squishing his cheek adorably. Lestat made the effort to look interested, nudging Marius at the right times, and now sat forward in the chair, his elbows leaning on his knees as he propped his head up towards the screen. During their silent conversation, only the briefest rolling of eyes, exchanges of eye contact and shifts in expressions would give the conversation away.
It's not that I don't like her. I appreciate her as an actress, and I suppose Marius is rubbing off on me a bit.
Urgh!
But really, it's just the obsession that bothers me. I would watch it once, but the repetition is kind of tiring. I'm not really into it, so I'm not that passionate about it.
Jealous of Claire Danes then?
No, I'm not jealous of Claire Danes.
Well, you should be jealous of me instead!
You idiot. I won't dignify that assumption with a response.
You just did. People say that, and then they do it any way. Hypocrites!
You're the hypocrite. Attacking every turn of phrase, when you are just trying to justify the kind of mind that thinks mums are for sexual referencing.
Yeah, well Marius will be sexual referencing with me in a minute. With you sitting outside the door, crying like a spoilt kid. Because your "master" wants someone else.
Keep dreaming, 'stat. Marius only wants me.
Is that so? Or have you noticed him entranced with other blondes as of late.
He doesn't want you Lestat!
Me, or… CLAIRE DANES!
Don't be an idiot Lestat. It doesn't suit you. Oh, wait! It does!
Hahahahahahah. Marius doesn't want you, Marius doesn't want you!
Of course he does. Don't delude yourself.
He went with me didn't he? And he stops you from killing me in front of him. Have you ever wondered why?
He only wants' what's best for me. That's what he said.
He is the reason nothing interesting has happened here. He is why we've stopped fighting, and why you've been so fricking passive all the time!
This is what it's about. Well, good luck with that. Passive, eh?
But if I keep Marius with me, you won't stand a chance.
And where is the reason behind that, eh? Any logic or dictum that give you reason to think this. Or is it just the same old rubbish?
Just you watch.
The film was coming to an end, and the credits began rolling. Armand got out of his seat slowly.
No, just YOU watch.
"Ohhhh, What a brilliant film. Truly magical. What an excellent performer that girl is." Marius exclaimed with a stretch. Lestat was watching Armand and so said nothing.
"Mmmm. Very good. Padrone?" Armand walked over to Marius's arm of the couch and bent forward, leaning his arms on the cushions.
"Mmmm, yes my sweet?" Marius, filled with the happiness Claire Danes brought him, saw the room in an overwhelmingly positive light. He saw his fledgling as a warm, sleepy angel. His brown eyes drawing Marius in, filling him with a new kind of happiness. Ensuring a future happiness that night. The positivity he felt was focused on Armand's lips as they formed each word, the tilt of his neck as he asked his question, the placing of auburn hair that cascaded onto his tiny shoulders.
"I'm going back to the room now. Do you need anything, or…?"
"Mmmm, I may join you momentarily. I'll just pack up here."
"What?" Lestat panicked. "Are you leaving now?
"Oh, Lestat. You don't mind do you? It's just getting rather late…" (Or was it rather early?)
"But we still have the special features." Lestat vainly tried to win back the conversation.
"Oh, I don't mind." Armand looked around vaguely. "I can do something else. I'll be there if you need me. Or not, you know."
He then smiled a beautiful smile at his blonde master. He gazed adoringly at his accommodating fledgling with a rivalling smile of beauty. Armand leaned forward and kissed Marius gently and deeply on his soft lips. Marius kissed his progeny back enthusiastically, tasting a teasing trickle of blood on Armand's talented tongue. Armand drew away slowly and sighed.
He walked to the door, his master's eyes glued to him more fervently than they had been to Claire Danes for the past hour and a half.
Turning at the door, his svelte frame illuminated by the light of the corridor and the arc of the door, Armand looked again at his master.
"Call me if you need me ok?"
Armand slid out the door, and closed it. Darkening the theatre room once more.
Marius moved to get out of his chair.
"Wait wait wait wait wait wait waaaaaaaaaaaait!" Lestat jumped up to grab Marius's arm.
"Don't leave yet! We still have the deleted scenes to watch!"
"Later."
"Season one of My So-Called life?"
"Later."
"Claire Danes : Inside the actor's studio?"
Marius paused in his escape.
"Yeeeah? You want to watch inside the actor's studio? Full clip show and everything?"
"But Amadeo's waiting…"
"You just heard him, he's fine with it. Let him go. He sounded busy anyway."
"Maybe…"
"He'll be there tomorrow night, don't worry about that. Inside the actor's studio is only on now, it'll get deleted in the morning."
"Really?! Why?" Marius was genuinely puzzled. He spent much more time reading then the other vampires.
"The box does that at the end of each month. It cleans up after itself that way. I recorded this just for you. Can we watch it?"
Marius was torn. The dual temptations evident in his face. Lestat capitalized on this indecision.
"Please?"
Marius sighed, and then gleefully stifled a smile. He settled back down onto the couch.
"Oh, alright then."
"Excellent!" Lestat crowed. "Then afterwards Armand will be waiting, so it is all alright. Right?"
After a slight hesitation Marius agreed. "Right!" his wide grin made him appear like an excited child before a Christmas tree piled with presents. To have both Claire Danes and the promise of his fledgling's love. It was Christmas in his mind.
Lestat enthusiastically programmed in the interview. Eager that he could separate Marius from Armand for two more hours. And then as much delay as possible before dawn.
In the master suite, Armand sat eyes closed on the bed, watching Lestat's ploy through his head. His eyes opened angrily. Fine then, he thought. If Lestat wants Marius all to himself, then good luck to him. He would not be jealous of Lestat, and he definitely would not be jealous of Claire Danes. Perhaps Lestat should spend some time in the clammy grip of jealousy for a while, to see how he likes it. It might do Marius some good too. Armand plotted his activity in the living room. He would read a book. Or watch the news. That would be good. And in good company. But first, he wanted some paint bombs. A quick trip to the mansion's studio would do that. Lots and lots of paint bombs. Lestat can just see how many "want" him when he woke up tomorrow night.
Armand hurried to the studio to complete his task. Vengeance is such sweet satisfaction. And he had to hurry. It would be rude to keep Louis waiting.
And he so was not jealous of Claire Danes.
All the Claire Danes references are apparantely accurate, although I don't know if she has an inside the actors studio session. Did you get the comedy reference? "'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"
Classic. Reviews please, and have a pleasant tomorrow!