Super short entry!! I'm sorry but I had to do it. I was going to wait honestly a few more chapters but I had to write fro Edward. We are so similar in this outtake since this is pretty much what's going on my life. Damn you 'friend zone'!! Also, damn you guy I likes slutty girlfriend!! Well enough of my ranting and enjoy the chapter, please review.
2. Nothing Special
(EPOV)
I sat down on my bed, letting out a groan. I flew back into the pillow and covered my face with my hands. This was just getting down right ridiculous, I couldn't keep torturing myself. It's been way too long, five years too long. Maybe I should just get on with it already and stop being such a coward.
The truth is I've loved her all along, ever since I first laid eyes on her I've known. Her pale ivory skin, her deep brown eyes, her delicate features and he long silky hair. They all drew me in, drowning me. I was intoxicated by her very presence, so much so, that it caused my pain not being able to touch her…kiss her. I loved Bella, but she never loved me. Doesn't it always seem to turn out like that? That you fall in love with your friend but you're too much of a coward to do anything. So you get stuck in the 'friend zone' forever.
But lately things were getting worse. I could seem to focus on anything else when I was around her. I tried to stay as far away from her as physically possible. Which was one of the reasons I didn't want to sit on her bed, I didn't know how long I'd be able to contain myself. How long I'd be able to hold back from leaning over and pressing my lips to her full ones. So I led to get out; to clear my head. Honestly, I didn't have to be home until later since my dad was at the hospital and my mom was out shopping with Alice. Emmett was most probably shacked up with Rosalie somewhere so that left me here, alone…as always. I was always alone, even surrounded by people I was somehow alone. The only time I felt whole was when I was around her. Although it caused me pain at the same time, it was worth it just for that feeling.
Maybe I should just stop being a coward; maybe telling her how I felt was the right way to go? Or maybe it wasn't. Could I really deal with the rejection? Of having my heart crushed into a million pieces? Maybe it would be best to cut ties with her. Stop spending so much time together and just leave her alone. My heart ached as I thought of that alternative. I had considered this before, but I didn't know how. I couldn't come up with an alternative where I didn't hurt her feelings. It's not like I could say "I'm sorry Bella but we can't be best friends anymore. You see I love you and I hate being around you because I know we'll never be together."
No matter how much I had this argument with myself it always turned out the same. I needed her, to be with her even if it meant that I was just her friend. I was masochist, I accepted that about myself. Because let's face the facts, I would rather just be her friend than nothing at all.
That's it for now folks. My next chapter is most definitely going to be longer. I promise!! Also I'd like to say a quick thanks to all of you who review, thanks for the support and kind words!