A/N: Well…as depressing as this is I am really enjoying it. As much as I love CloTi together and I wished nothing hurt, I think the reality of it would be a little different. I do think Cloud loves Tifa, he is just so involved in being Zack's legacy that he is becoming Zack. It is sad and hurts but sometimes you need to let a person go. I did not plan on continuing this but this chapter would not leave me be. If you guys want a final third part, let me know in either a PM or reviews. If you do, I will continue.

On your knees again, huh Lockhart? Keep it up and you might have a new job title.

Even in her own head, the words were harsh and hollow, full of derision and self-hatred. What a joke she had become, morphing into one of those stereotypical women who bent their legs for a man. But…this is Cloud. He loves me.

Yeah…right.

The icing on the cake, the lie Tifa had been feeding herself in the months following Aerith's death at Sephiroth's hands. She could still see that ghastly long sword plunging in the woman's chest, watch those pretty green eyes darken over as she succumbed to the call of death. Nobody could defy that summoning, not even precious Aerith.

But…Aerith was your friend too. She was nice and sweet and so very full of compassion. She was everything Tifa wasn't…and that was the problem.

I bet Aerith would never have done this. See this, Cloud? Feel what I am doing to you, the pleasure I am giving you without regard for my own? This is how m love looks. Aerith would never have been able to take you all in, could not mask the disgust as she tasted your seed. I hate this, hate doing this…everything about this. But for you I am doing it. Doesn't that count for something?

Cloud would continue to thrust shallowly, his breathing quickening as Tifa took him in her mouth over and over again. The length choked her, burned her throat but still she persevered. Cloud never asked for this, never once made her believe he wanted it. Until she finally took him first in hand, then in mouth. Then Cloud sang like a bird. Take that, Aerith.

Tifa felt the stirrings of pride in her stomach, a pride born of servicing her man and knowing she was doing well. Cloud's hand was deep in her hair, tugging and pulling her closer but not to the point of pain. She would make him forget his troubles; make him forget the alias he had devised for himself when Zack died.

Somehow he has got it in his head that he is Zack. Cloud Strife is slowly disappearing as he tries so hard to follow his shoes. Oh Cloud, can't you see that being his living legacy was never supposed to be like this? Zack did not want this, not in the least. What shame he must be feeling now. The pity. And Aerith…

I am a horrible friend. Forgive me, Aerith. Forgive my resentment, forgive my pain and anger. Forgive me Maker for I have sinned.

The guilt would churn in her stomach but when Cloud came, trembling and boneless and satisfied, the name torn from his lips would make her feelings explode full force again. I am NOT Aerith. Don't you remember my name? Can't you feel the difference? I am the one still here!

I'm still here….

But you're not.

Tifa found herself in front of the mirror once again. She saw the bags underneath her eyes, saw the normal beautiful red of her eyes had faded to look like a mixture of rust and dried blood. Even her hair seemed limp and lifeless. This was not healthy, this was not right.

This is not love.

She had tried so hard, tried to give Cloud the time he needed following the traumatic deaths of both his friends. Zack had saved his life, had died for him and the cause. Freedom. Zack was his brother in everything but blood and the way Cloud cherished his buster sword was evidence of that fact. But why Aerith? Why fall for her? Cloud knew she was Zack's intended. Zack planned on marrying her. If memory serves, he had even bought a ring and pocketed it with plans on asking her when he returned. Why then would Cloud want his friend's girl?

You'll be my living legacy.

Cloud is emulating Zack, truly living him and doing as he would. Including falling in love with Aerith Gainsborough.

It was almost understandable, and Tifa could almost empathize. But when would Cloud wake up and realize that he completely misconstrued Zack's meaning? The blonde was self-destructing in the worst way possible and his disease was starting to rub off on Tifa. Tifa loved Cloud, had since they were young and impressionable and dreams of glory pranced in their minds. But Cloud was slowly changing Tifa, making her into someone she wasn't. Tifa was a strong woman but even she had a breaking point. The martial artist was at that point, and she could not keep bottling up her feelings. All it would take was one more mistake on his part, one more mention of her name. One more reminder that Tifa was not enough.

"Aerith…" Again. Fucking again. Cloud had come home after another long leave of absence, hesitated at her door and pleaded with his eyes for her to take away his pain. Her love drew him in and made him feel like the man he was supposed to be. Coward.

He had actually stayed the night, settled his body next to hers. Tifa, trembling and shaking, laid her head on his broad chest and listened to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump. His heart never lied, never fabricated the evidence of his desire or emotions. In his heart he loved her, in his heart he knew she was Tifa and Aerith was Zack's. The real Zack. He knew.

But apparently his mind did not get the memo.

Tifa froze when she heard him mumble her name in his sleep, an arm lazily winding around her body as he nuzzled her head. Seeking warmth, like a kitten. Tifa felt sadness suck away any dredges of happiness, her body left feeling frayed and like a livewire. A burning started behind her eyes, falling over. Bleeding. Some wounds could never be healed and Tifa was starting to realize that this one…there was not a bandage large enough.

Slowly, Tifa slid out from under the blonde man. He made a sound of protest, curling in on her side. A large hand fell on her pillow, right where her head had been. Tifa stared at the hand, feeling dead. Cloud's body knew her, his soul knew that theirs was linked. They were meant to be, supposed to be. Destined to be. But destiny worked in mysterious ways and that bitch had fucked her over. The brunette mapped Cloud's face, taking in the smooth lines and relaxed jaw. His beautiful blue eyes were closed; Tifa wished she could see them one last time. Those attractively ridiculous blonde spikes, soft and wonderful.

Tifa turned, padding over to stand before the buster sword. Nude, she bent down and kneeled. Her knees were raw and pink from kneeling for an hour earlier when she was "helping" Cloud. She looked at the symbol of freedom, the symbol of a legacy left behind too early.

The symbol of my shattered life.

Slowly, she bent forward until her forehead touched the cool metal. Her lids fluttered, closing as she prayed. She prayed Zack and Aerith had passed over fine, were enjoying their new and permanent time together. She prayed for Cloud to regain his memories and become a better man, a man that was all Strife and less Fair. But more importantly….she prayed for herself.

Let me move on…let me find true happiness.

As Tifa slipped on her clothes, she sent a quick message to Barrett. Denzel and Marlene were with him for now, spending time with the gentle giant. The kids would be sad, but they were better off without her. Without Cloud. There sickness, their problems, should not be seen by the kids. Maybe one day they would forgive her actions and understand why she had to do what she did. If she did not go, did not leave everything she once knew behind…

She'd be dead in a month.

By her hand.

Tifa lingered in the doorway, hand on the edge. Hand tightening slightly, her face turned back towards Cloud. She wanted to go to him, kiss him on the cheek, the nose…the lips. She wanted to bury herself in his strong arms and kiss his jaw, run her fingers through that damned gorgeous hair. She wanted to dig into his chest and pull out his heart, heal the fractured organ and make him right again. She wanted…

She needed to leave right now.

With that, Tifa slowly left the bar she had given everything for, the home she had lovingly cared for years. She left the man who had taken her heart long ago and had never bothered to give it back, even when his love was confused with another. She left the memories that constantly plagued her behind, trailing behind her like a bad nightmare.

I'm free.

Is this what freedom looks like? Is this…the price of freedom?

One day, maybe the price would be worth the sacrifice.