Uploading the second chapter. I don't have much time so I don't edit, but I promise to edit the moment I can. Sorry for any mistakes you may see!

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Chapter Two: High Walls

First Year

Jade did not go home for Christmas. There were many reasons that made her stay at Hogwarts, and the main one was that she'd sent Iolanthe to bring them a letter from her, and the owl returned empty-handed.

Sturgis had offered his sister to stay at his place, but Jade knew she would be just as alone there as she was at Hogwarts. She decided to choose Hogwarts.

In the few months since school had started, Jade did not make any friends. If she had to be honest, some of her Gryffindor year-mates did try to strike up a conversation with her, but she had always had nothing to say, which, she later heard, had been translated into her being cold-hearted.

Lily Evans was the one who'd tried her hardest at the beginning. Since Lily and Jade were both the only Muggle-borns among the Gryffindor first-years, Lily had believed it would make the two of them close. Unfortunately, Jade did not take well to the redhead's attempts.

Eventually, Marlene McKinnon had proven to be a better company, and Lily and she became fast-friends. Mary Macdonald, the third girl Jade shared a dorm with, was a loner like Jade. However, she didn't take it to the extent Jade did; Mary, while having a wild love affair with the library, preferring to study there on her own, still chatted with Marlene and Lily at meal times, and was the only girl who talked to the four Gryffindor first-year boys.

The four boys were James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. The four of them had become friends of sorts, as much as Jade figured out, but it was apparent that James and Sirius had truly bonded. They were inseparable; whenever James was, Sirius soon followed, and likewise.

James and Sirius didn't care about the Gryffindor girls much - except Mary, whenever she deigned to speak to them - and so didn't bother with Jade, Lily or Marlene. Peter tailed James and Sirius whenever they went, and he seemed rather oblivious to anything else going on around him. Remus was the quiet one, studious and smart, and he had tried to chat Jade up, but Jade did not respond well to him, either.

It wasn't that Jade wanted to be a loner, and it wasn't that she didn't want to have friends. There was something that held her back in these aspects - and it wasn't just her introduction into the politics of the magical world, as Pierre Greengrass had so kindly helped her with at the Hogwarts Express. It all began with the conversation the Gryffindors had at the feast after the Sorting Ceremony.

"Gryffindor is the best House!" announced a fifth-year who sat close to the first-years. He'd introduced himself as Callum Robins and, according to his budge, he was a perfect. "Do you know why?"

Lily had looked discreetly behind her, her gaze landing on the Slytherin table. Jade had noticed that. "But Slytherin is fine too, right?" she asked in an odd voice. "I mean, my friend, Sev, was Sorted there, so it can't be worse than Gryffindor, right?"

"Slytherin is crappy," Sirius had spoken, then. "My entire family was in Slytherin, and you have no idea how they'd turned out. I'm so glad I'm not there."

James nodded in agreement and sent a pointed look at Lily, who flushed slightly at the sharpness of his stare. "Gryffindor is the House of the brave and loyal, qualities that are actually important in life."

"Hear, hear," Callum agreed wholeheartedly.

"Slytherin, however," James's voice lowered into a quiet snarl, "breeds only slimy snakes with no pride or honor or true loyalty. Slytherins will save their own skin before they came to help others. Not to mention most of them are pure-bloods who look down on Muggle-borns as though they're scum."

Lily had started a fight with James, then, about the true nature of the two Houses - which had later led to a great animosity between the two - but Jade had stopped listening just then. James's words, mixed with the Sorting Hat's, jumbled in her mind.

She was not stupid. Jade had understood what the Hat had told her; she had the heart of Slytherin, but because of her Muggle heritage, she couldn't be Sorted there. Because she wasn't a studious one, she couldn't have ended up in Ravenclaw, and because she wasn't pure-hearted and good-natured Hufflepuff was out of the question. She had ended up in Gryffindor as a default because she didn't belong to Gryffindor the least of the rest.

Despite everything she had thought, she had hoped that at least she would feel like she belonged to the House she would be Sorted into. She hadn't belonged in the normal world, hadn't belonged with her parents, and while Sturgis was just like her, he was too busy, so she hadn't really belonged with him. Until that moment of epiphany, she'd had a small hope - but hope nonetheless - that she would find her place in her Hogwarts House.

And like all the others, this hope, too, was shattered to pieces.

Jade hadn't bothered to make friends with anyone in her House - or the others, for that matter- because what was the point? Yes, she had magic, but she didn't belong there in Hogwarts. The first-years of House the Hat had claimed she truly belonged to wouldn't come near the other Houses, least of all Gryffindor, meaning that even if she'd wanted to befriend someone there, it was impossible. She had hoped, in the first week, that she might come across Celine Greengrass, the blonde girl from the train, but when she'd finally seen her in the shared Potions class, she was with the Slytherin girls and hadn't looked her way even once.

Eventually, Jade had settled on a loner's life. She had also settled on never hoping again.

The morning of Christmas day, Jade woke up to a blissfully empty dorm (Lily, Marlene, and Mary had all gone back home for the holiday). She also found three presents waiting for her to unwrap.

The first was, for her surprise, from her parents. Excitement surged in a rush inside Jade, and before she could remind herself not to hope, she tore the wraps and revealed the present. He froze when she saw it was her blue stuffed animal from home. There was a note assigned, saying: "You've forgotten to pack it. Mum and Dad."

She hadn't realized she was smiling - until she read the eight-word letter, the first one she'd gotten from her parents since arriving Hogwarts - and that smile had vanished. Tears threatened to escape, but she refused to let them fall. She was hurt, she couldn't deny it to herself. But most of, she was furious with herself; she'd let herself hope again.

Feeling drained, even though she'd just awoken, Jade threw Cookie the bear on the floor and grabbed the second present. This one was from Sturgis; a book called Quidditch Through the Ages. In the attached note, Sturgis wrote, "I used to be a Chaser. I hope you'll consider applying for the Gryffindor team next year, for whatever role you want. Playing Quidditch is extremely fun, I promise. Love, Sturgis."

The last gift came with a short note, telling her this one was again from Sturgis. It included a quill that would spell-check any essay she had to write.

Tucking the gifts away - except Cookie, which she took with her - Jade went down to the common room, not bothering to get out of her nightdress. It was empty, which made Jade relieved because she didn't want anyone to witness what she was about to do.

She walked to the fireplace and paused before it. She stared down at Cookie, then at the fireplace, and felt her heart encasing itself in ice. Everyone called her Podcold, whenever they bothered to talk about her. It was time she lived up to her name in truth.

Without an ounce of emotion, she threw the stuffed bear into the fire, watching the flickering flames eating at it, burning it to crisp. She felt an odd sense of satisfaction at the sight.

A sound behind her made her turn around, and what she saw made her freeze. Sirius Black climbed into the common room from the entrance, wearing his robes. His black hair was a mess, even messier than James's was - which was quite a feat, considering James's hair stuck out in all directions - and his grey eyes had dark bag beneath them.

He stopped in his track when he saw her. She stared back for a few more moments before she returned her eyes to the fire. She heard him come closer then, and he came to a pause next to her. He leaned forward, for he was tall for his age, and from the edge of her eye she saw him squinting at the first and scrunching his nose. "What did you put there?" he inquired.

There was no need to deny it. "A stuffed animal," she responded flatly.

His eyes widened in surprise and turned to look at her. "Why?"

She shrugged. "My parents sent it to me. I decided it's been a long time since I was five."

Sirius frowned in thought. "But why burn it?"

"Because," Jade replied, not knowing why she was even bothering, "they gave it to me as a gift long ago."

The expression on Sirius's face cleared, and he seemed to understand everything. "Troubles with the folks, then, heh?"

Jade settled on shrugging once more. Then, it occurred to her he was not supposed to be here. She'd overheard him telling James he was going home for Christmas. "What are you doing here?" she blurted out the question before she could remind herself not to be social.

"What do you mean?" Sirius arched an eyebrow, his voice a little defensive. "It's my House as well, you know."

"You were supposed to be at home, weren't you?" Jade clarified.

"Oh," Sirius ruffled his hair, looking at the ground. "I was there but, erm, Professor McGonagall allowed me to return to Hogwarts much, erm, earlier…"

She understood as well. "Troubles with the folks, then," she said, using the same words he did.

He gave a small grin. "So, Podmore, since we're both here for the next three weeks, want to hang out?"

It was a grand offer, and Jade was touched despite herself. However, she did not forget her promise to herself. She knew what would happen if she agreed; she would have the time of her life, would start to believe Sirius was her friend, and then would be bitterly disappointed when the holiday ended and he returned to his friends and leave her behind.

She was tempted to say yes. She was more tempted than she'd ever been since the beginning of school. But she remembered her parents, their cold letter, and the teddy-bear. She remembered the conversation back at the feast. Mostly, she remembered the Hat's words.

So, she gave Sirius a blank look and said, "Sorry, but I have stuff to do."

And, she knew, after her cold blow-off, Sirius Black would never extend her a hand of friendship again.