Chapter Two
Puck couldn't stop thinking about how Santana always said what she thought and meant almost everything she said. Or how her deep, chocolate brown eyes always shone in the sunlight and completely gave away her emotions when her guard wasn't up. Or how her silky, soft, brown hair felt when he played with it and always smelled of vanilla. They had spent so much time together, knew so much about each other. Things they probably would never have told anyone else. And as much as he didn't want to admit it, Puck loved her. Not just loved the sex they had. Or said it just to say it like he did to most girls, but really honest to God loved her. And it was his fault she died.
They were in the auditorium, and Puck had to tell her he couldn't cheat on Lauren anymore. It wasn't right. And if Lauren found out, she would beat the life out of Santana. Which don't get him wrong, Puck always loved a good chick fight, but not at the risk of Santana getting hurt. So he told her they had to stop. Safe to say she didn't take it too well…
"What are you talking about Puckerman?"
"I can't do this to Lauren."
"Oh, but you could do it to Quinn and Rachel and all those other girls?"
She wouldn't let this go, not without a fight. He had to lie. It would hurt her but she would recover, she's strong.
"Look Santana, I care about Lauren more than all of those other girls, and I don't care about you! Just don't try, it's not worth it. We're through."
He knew none of it was true, he just couldn't let her get hurt. And Lauren would definitely hurt her. He figured it would just roll off of her and she wouldn't let it phase her, at least noticeably. He thought this until he saw her eyes well up with tears. Before he could stop her, she was running out the doors. He ran after her, but it was too late. The bell had rung and the halls had filled with people.
When his mind came back to reality he found himself balling like a baby. "Pull yourself together Puckerman! You're a Jew, you're not supposed to be so weak!" he told himself as he punched the steering wheel. It wasn't until he was ready to go back into school that he saw Lauren sitting on a bench watching him. He got out of the car and went over to her.
"You're a wreck, I expected you'd be sad but not this depressed."
He wasn't in the mood to deal with consequences, or people judging him. And he most defiantly didn't plan on lying seeing as that just caused a death. So he said what he wanted to say.
"I loved her. Okay? I LOVED HER! I can't help but be sad. I could tell her anything and everything, but now she's gone. She's never coming back and it's my fault!"
"Noa-"
"Don't call me that."
"Puck… it was an accident. It was no one's fault."
"That's what you think. You don't know anything! No one knows anything! No one knows the last things I said to her, except maybe Brittany. No one knows." He couldn't take it, he fell to his knees, and before he knew it he was praying.
"God please, please, please God, let her forgive me. Let her know how much I really did care. And just take this pain away, I'll do anything!"
He just sat there for a few minutes until Lauren was pulling him to his feet. As the two of them walked into the school, back to the choir room, he was singing "Seize the Day" by Avenged Sevenfold.