100 Years to Live

I'm 33 for a moment

Still the man, but you see I'm a they

A kid on the way.

A family on my mind.

Chapter Two

I smiled down at Bella and ran my hand over her swollen stomach, "It'll be a girl."

"You can't know that, Jake. Besides, don't you want a boy? Teach him all the werewolf ways or something?"

Her eyes were lit up with pure joy, something that rarely happened for Bella, "Well, we'll have a boy next time-"

"Next time?" she raised her eyebrows at me, "We're having two children?"

"Well," I backpedaled, "If that's what you want."

She looked down at my hand on her stomach and traced around it, "Maybe. In a few years," a worried look past her face, "Maybe we shouldn't have waited so long to have children. I mean, there's like a cut off point for women."

"Bells, one step at a time," I bent down, kissed her and then whispered into her ear, "Maybe it'll be twins!" I teased.

"Jake," I could tell she was rolling her eyes, I began to kiss her neck, she sighed and tried to push me away, "Jake! First off, stop. This is how we got here in the first place. Old and pregnant. And secondly, it won't be twins. You saw the sonogram, there was one perfect little child in that picture, not two."

I kissed down her collarbone, "Yeah, but maybe it's that whole hidden twin syndrome or something."

"There's just one in there," she pushed her shirt back down and sat up effectively moving me away from her, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Bells, you probably shouldn't be walking about," it was natural of me to worry about her. I couldn't help it.

Bringing Bella back to her normal self was easier the second time around, at first I thought it was because I had had prior experience. But once she told me what happened I understood that it was only easier because she made the decision to separate from him.

Things became better slowly. She still had her bad days; the anniversary of when she left him, his birthday. Simple things like that. She hid the disappointment and misery well, trying to save me from the pain of knowing that I wasn't her first choice.

But, I was okay being second best, sure I was bitter about having to be second best to a vampire, but having Bella love me the way she did was wonderful compensation.

Bella smiled at me, with her loving eyes, a look she only gave to me, "Jake, I can cook dinner. Besides, there is no way I'm going to let you cook," she gave me a pitiful look, "I wouldn't trust you with scrambled eggs. What do you want for dinner?"

"Can I at least help?"

She thought for awhile and I gently maneuvered her back to the bed so she could lie down again.

"You can make the salad."

"That's from a bag!"

"Yes, it is. You better read the instructions," she got back up from the bed and let me help her down the stairs, "Jake, you're going to have to let me cook. Do you really think a baby can be nourished well on just spaghetti?"

I'm 45 for a moment

The sea is high

And I'm heading into a crisis

Chasing the years of my life.

I smiled down at Elizabeth, it was her tenth birthday and she was profusely hugging her father who had given in and bought her an iPod, even though I didn't understand why a nine—ten year old needed an iPod.

Life had turned out well between Jake and me, shaky at first, but once I accepted things for the way they were I was fine with being Edward-less. Jake helped me, but I'm not sure he realizes how much of an inner battle it was with myself. How much of silent internal struggle it was for me to accept my own decision.

Daily life became easier as time went on, but there were certain days of the year that were harder than others; the day he left me, although so long ago, the events were etched permanently into my mind. The day he came back. The day he took me away from my family.

It was really ridiculous what Edward did days after my graduation; knocking me out with chloroform and, in a sense, kidnapping me to a remote location. Despite the effects of the chloroform, I can remember exactly what happened.

I had told Charlie I was spending the night with Alice at the Cullen's. After suffering several "beauty" treatments from her I lied down with Edward, he began kissing me, harder than he generally did. I can remember thinking that he was really going to change me at that point, I was so excited I could barely contain myself. At the right moment, Edward lifted his head and placed a wet rag over my mouth, I automatically inhaled deeply, needing the oxygen, but only finding a strange odor. And darkness.

When I awoke we were on some island in the Caribbean. It was every girl's dream; being "shipwrecked" on a deserted island with hot guy. We weren't shipwrecked in any sense, though. It turned out that Edward's family owned the island and he was keeping me here so I would be changed on his terms. Initially, I had been upset with him, but with Edward as my only form of company I quickly gave up the silent treatment.

But, then I made my own decision and I carried it out almost effortlessly. Dramatically grabbing my bag and heading out the door with out tripping, I got in my car shut the door and drove away. Only to realize I was on an island and my car, although very nice (a graduation present I begrudgingly accepted from Edward) did not float.

Edward followed me out to the end of the road, where he told me to come back to the house and he would call the ferryman and arrange a ride and a flight out for me.

"You're remembering," Jake's voice said.

"I am not," I responded for arguing sakes, "If I was remembering it would mean that I couldn't remember it in the past years," I looked up at him and met his dark eyes, "Those memories are always with me," I regretted what I said almost instantly.

"Do you ever regret it?" he asked, sitting down on the couch next to me.

"Not exactly. Edward refused to change me, I wouldn't have been happy being some old hag next to him-"

"No. Do you ever regret marrying me, loving me, when you still loved someone else?" he asked quietly and almost emotionlessly, as if he didn't care what the answer was.

"Jake," I took his large hands in mine, "What kind of question is that to ask me? I should be asking you whether you're disappointed in this relationship! You've refused me nothing, Jake. You've offered me everything I've wanted, everything I could of wanted. How am I supposed to regret that?" I looked at him incredulously. I paused a moment, wondering if I wanted to ask him the same question. No. I knew I wanted to ask him, but did I want the answer?

"I don't," he said, as if reading my mind, "What I said all those years ago still stands, Bells. As long as you like me best and think I'm kinda handsome, I'm okay. I love you, Bells. That's enough for me," he brought my hands to his mouth and kissed both of them.

"I love you, Jake," I said breathily, "But I can't see how you deserve me," I added softly.

"Just believe me, Bells."

15 there's still time for you

Time to buy, time to lose yourself

Within a morning star.

15 I'm all right with you

15, there's never a wish better than this

When you only got 100 years to live.