The Twin Snakes
An alternate account of the events of the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.
Thousands of thoughts were racing in my mind too many to state, the most prevalent one however was the need for me to learn more about the situation of my "other self." I raced out the door to catch up to me, or should I say Shirou? For the sake of convenience I'll just call my other self Shirou. I looked both directions from the door he wasn't visible in either way, for the next 10-15 or so minutes I fruitlessly searched North High from top to bottom looking for that bastard but he was nowhere in sight, I decided that all this searching was wasted effort that could be dealt with tomorrow. With an exhausted sigh I make my way towards the entrance of the hill and down the Godforsaken hill. I was surprised to see a familiar face not far down the hill, it was Haruhi's.
She was probably walking home from school, but why? It's nearing the evening night yet she was still making her way down the hill, I decide that it was best not to care about her circumstance she was probably caught up in something she deemed "interesting" and God knows I don't want to waste the only time I have to myself looking for "interesting" things. Haruhi makes a slight detour, turning to the shopping district that we filmed are awful school film at. I take this opportunity to hurry to the train station without her noticing my presence, I make it safely there with a few minutes to spare before my train would arrive. I wearily lay my bag down on a seat and take the seat next to it for myself, I rest my eyes for a second….
"I didn't know you took this train, I always presumed you walked all the way to your house." A familiar voice begins to speak, I instantly recognise it.
"Well if it isn't my other self." I say out loud, my eyes were still shut this was not the right time to have this convo.
"If I know you, like I know myself you're probably thinking. "Why talk now when I just walked down this fucking hill? Doesn't this asshole know how straining that walk is? Am I right?" I finally open my eyes after hearing his response, he's leaning pretentiously on a light pole.
By this time the late afternoon began to darken, with only a hint of orange hue left to sustain the natural light, naturally by this time the light poles have been turned on and the effect of him leaning on one gives him a mysterious aura, if there's one thing that I noticed from this guy its unnecessary theatrics like this.
"You read my mind exactly, now get on with your damn story I don't have all day." I say back, he was purposefully wasting my time so he didn't deserve my fake politeness.
"I imagine many things going through your mind because of my shocking revelation right…?" What was with him and asking rhetorical questions huh?
"And naturally you expect me to explain every detail to you…" Shirou paused for more dramatic effect, this was getting exhausting at this point.
"But I won't." So he wasted all my time to tell me he wouldn't explain shit!?
"What do you mean you won't explain anything!?" I was standing at this point, I had enough of this.
"Always so quick to anger Kyon, I don't remember being as irritable as you are. Didn't I say to earlier today that I'm not the vapid, exposition type right?" Shirou asked me this as a serious question, I nod unsure at first but quickly remember such a conversation.
"Well as a way for me not to bore both you and myself with a soul crushing info dump, I'll let you ask the questions you so desire at this moment and only those questions. I won't explain anything further, it's all up to you Kyon on what you want to know about me and my circumstance." Shirou finished his little speech.
He may have done this as a way to exert power over me by using this as a justification for holding key information from me because I didn't ask, but somehow I felt fine with it simply with the fact that all this complicated information wasn't going to be puked on me and I get to set the flow of our conversation for once.
"Now that all the responsibilities are on you, shoot" Shirou said this whilst pointing his hand like a gun at me and shooting, I sigh in response to his dramatics.
"What I want most answered is how you and me are the same person, are you a time traveller like Asahina?" Shirou coughs a bit before answering
"I'm not exactly sure myself." I was confused, what did Shirou mean by that?
"I can see you're confused by this so I'll say why it's confusing. While you and I are technically the same person, we aren't really all the same personality wise. You see, while I'm brash and unrelenting in my thoughts and actions you're somewhat withdrawn, unless provoked and observant about yours. As to why we have different personalities, I can answer that as well unless you have a different question to ask." Another question does indeed sparks my interest
"How do you know how I act when you've only just met me?" Shirou laughs at my question, does he find pleasure in making people feel stupid?
"We're the same person so I can just tell, you have the same thought process as me but you just convey it differently is all. Plus you just have the eyes of a coward who quietly judges others without saying what he really thinks." That answer got me in a way I didn't expect, what he was saying was true for the most part.
Of course I'm not going to show any hint of it affecting in any way, by masking my insecurity with snarky sarcasm.
"It seems you've got all figured out, care to psycho analyse me more Doc?" I spit back.
"Is it really going to devolve into this Kyon? Or do you still want to know why we have different personalities?" Shirou coldly states back.
I take the out he offered and told him to continue with answering the original question.
"The reason why we have different personalities is somewhat unclear but clear at the same time, I don't know how exactly we are the same person but in essence and if you're religious spiritually the same. It's just that I don't know how we are linked. Like you said I may be a time traveller, I could be a slider from a different world or even a different universe, for all I know I could be a re-incarnation of you or you could be a re-incarnation of me." I understood for the most part what he was getting at, he knows that I and he are the same person. It's just he doesn't know how we're linked as the same person or does he?
I'm not so sure the information given to me is the truth, hell I don't even exactly know if we really are the same person. It sounds like something crazy and implausible, but once you start hanging out with Haruhi things like that aren't so easily rebuked. My own suspicions and holes in his knowledge makes asking the next question difficult.
"How do you know exactly we're the same?" Shirou just shrugs.
"Does a gut feeling, make an acceptable answer?" This line of questioning is getting us nowhere. He's either ignorant of his own predicament, lying about this whole thing to my face, intentionally saying he doesn't know anything when he actually does or worse all three.
So instead of asking something he has no, apparent "control" over I ask him questions that do. "How did you arrive here?" He has a stupid smirk on his face as I ask,
"I entered this world in the same way all of us did, I was born to two loving parents who I gradually grew to despise."
"So you weren't sent here? Or just poofed into existence?" Shirou just shrugs.
"I don't know what to tell you Kyon, I'm more or less a "normal" human being. But if you were to nit-pick some odd details, I was born with the knowledge and experience of my "past life."
"How could you leave out such a big detail from your answer!? You aren't a normal human being after all, you're just as supernatural as Nagato, Koizumi and Asahina!" He just smiles at my irritation with amusement
"You didn't ask for any details Kyon, I'm not obligated to spell out every single detail unless you ask it." I've really just about had my wit's end at this point.
Talking to a brick wall would get me clearer answer. So I decide to ask something straightforward, with no room for interpretation.
"What do you want with us?" I ask.
Shirou ponders over this question, but in time finds an answer for it.
"Unlike what you, the esper, alien and time traveller think. I have no use for Haruhi's powers, the only thing going through my head was the fact that I never thought I would actually find a group dedicated to this sort of thing in my High school days nor would I think of finding such an interesting person in her. That's all I want with you and the SOS Brigade no hidden motivations, nothing… nothing but the desire to find the fantasies I dreamed about, that's all." I take his claims with a grain of salt.
For now though I don't question him further on it as he will insist that, that is all he desires out of us. But a detail about his story is still bugging me…
"Speaking of Haruhi..." Shirou begins to talk once more
"The reason, I left in such a hurry was because I had a "date" with her. She wanted to get to know me more personally and she offered to go shopping." Humph, so that's why he was in such a hurry to leave and also why Haruhi went to the shopping district.
But at that moment of understanding that itch that had been bugging me for all this time came to me. How in the hell does he know about Koizumi, Nagato and Asahina? Better yet how does he know about Haruhi's God-like powers at all?
He said it himself that he's not familiar with this world exactly, maybe he knew them all as different versions of themselves. I also can't rule out the possibility that their names didn't change in his version of the world. Maybe that's how he could've deduced their identities, regardless I keep my current train of thought to myself it could either give me real insight on him or get me killed because I punched a hole in his story. Right now I don't want to take that risk, so I stay quiet.
I tell him that I have no further questions at this moment, I then ask Shirou if I can ask him questions at a later date and he says yes. I decide that asking questions like that would only be done in the company of many, many witnesses or Nagato. He briskly leaves as fast as he appears saying a curt goodbye and leaving me to wait in the night.
"Damn that train, its 10 minutes late." I say to myself, the train was uncharacteristically late for some reason.
Though I think I know why now, as in comes Haruhi running to the station with two shopping bags in hand on each hand.
"YEAH! I made it just in time." Haruhi proudly shouts out loud.
I wait a few seconds for her little celebration to end before she finally registers my existence.
"Oh Kyon, when did you get here?" She was so caught up with not missing the train, that she didn't see me waiting here.
"I've been standing here this whole time, waiting for this damn train to finally get here." I complain back to her.
"Boohoo, poor Kyon has to wait a few minutes for a train. Seriously do you never stop with your whining?" She was glaring at me with a mixture of annoyance and pity.
I guess she has a point about my complaining, it still not going stop me from doing it.
"What's got you in such a hurry? What have you been up to? A date?" I joke-ask her this knowing full well what she's been doing, hopefully by asking her I can get more dirt on that rat bastard Shirou.
"Are you stupid!? You know I hate that kind of thing, I was just casing the local shops for any weird happenings and I just happened to buy some essentials along the way." I grin a little at her response.
I guess even Haruhi's a girl at heart, the logos on her bags are that of a famous designer boutiques, that usually sell frilly skirts and cute dresses.
"That's not what Shirou said, he said you called him over to shop." An angry look was on Haruhi's face.
"I swear that Shirou we'll get a horrible penalty tomorrow, a fate worse than death itself." She then glared daggers at me, wait what did I do?
"You'll get a penalty too, that isn't information you should've known about!" I sigh in response, even when it's someone else fault I still get blamed. At least Shirou we'll get punished too, maybe we are the same person after all?
"Speaking of Shirou, why'd you ask him?" I casually ask, I needed to make this as natural as possible. Despite appearances, Haruhi's quite perceptive and she can tell when something amiss just like that.
"He was just the only person available at the moment, Yuki and Koizumi had left by then, Mikuru was studying for college exams and you were sleeping like a baby. Why do you ask?" I shrug in response.
"Just curious that's all, he didn't mention anything when we talked about it." Haruhi had a concerned look on her face, it was rare for her to care for anyone other than herself so it genuinely took me back.
"You don't like Shirou much do you Kyon?" Haruhi said this her concerned eyes staring into mine.
"It's not that I dislike the guy (I do), it's just I don't trust him a whole lot." I didn't want Haruhi to call me out on my BS or to know how much I genuinely hate the guy, so I put in as much truth into my lie as I can.
"Why don't you trust him Kyon?" Haruhi asked.
"I've just got an ill feeling about him, I can't quite place it." I honestly reply.
"Look Kyon, I know these are your feelings towards him and I honestly can't fault you for having them. For the sake of the stability of the SOS Brigade I want you to suck up your pride when it comes to him when you're in front of the others. I don't want everybody getting brought down because you two have strife, put on a friendly mask when you're with him if you have to."
This caught me by surprise. In her own Haruhi like way, she can be understanding and caring. I talk shit about her most of the time but when it comes right down to it, she's not a bad person.
"This is surprising coming from you Haruhi, I never thought you cared that much..." Before I could finish she grabs my tie and gets her face right next to mine.
"What do you mean surprising!? The welfare and morale of my pawns, I mean subordinates are just as important to me as...!"
"I get it, I get it! Now get off me." I growl back
"Humph." With that she let's go of my tie and coldly crosses her arms.
I would say an awkward silence followed but, the train finally after 20 minutes of waiting arrived. Thank you plot convenience, I mean odd coincidences.
We sat in silence for most of the trip, I was just sitting down waiting for the next stop whilst Haruhi was excitedly bouncing up in down. She was looking over all her purchases with zeal in her eyes, only reserved for when she assaults Asahina.
We then parted ways as she got off her stop, we exchanged goodbyes and she was gone. The rest of the trip was relatively peaceful. I slogged my way home, I made my way to my room and dropped to my bed face first. It was then that heard a whistle sound come from my phone.
"What the hell is it now!?" I ask myself irritated.
I look at my phone it was from Koizumi, great what does that smug bastard want.
"We need to talk after school. Don't mention anything to Miss Suzumiya or Kitagawa, Miss Nagato and Miss Asahina will be there as well."
A/N: Another Chapter down, many more to go. If you have any feedback for my story or any suggestions for ideas I could implement feel free to say in the reviews.
See you later Space Cowboys…
-All Day Tsundere.