Hi everybody! Thanks so much for reading- I hope you enjoy this chapter- reviews are love! Everytime you review, Gabe gets a hug :).
Jack was in the middle of helping secure supplies onto the bus, the sullen world around him preparing to leave, when he suddenly stopped.
"Jack?" Mary asked, concern plain on her face as she turned to him, "What's happened?" For a moment, she thought angels were coming and was about to prepare her gun, when Jack simply smiled at her.
"Something wonderful." He said, eyes filled with light.
"Cas, you gotta know some way to undo this." Dean ran his hands through his hair worriedly as they paced around the bunker. Sam and Gabriel had been bonded by grace- what was once a terrifying suspicion was now a confirmed reality. It became so when Sam came out of his little trance speaking Cas's Enochian name, shocking the angel to no end. Gabriel, despite being recovered, was back to barely speaking at all. He only watched Sam with a startling intensity that disturbed Dean to no end.
Castiel's brows furrowed and he shook his head. "There is no way that I know of. Only our father can make and unmake angel grace. Therefore, only our father can make and unmake the bond." He said gruffly.
"So, what, we're just gonna wait around until he decides to change his mind?" Dean exclaimed in frustration, slamming his hand against the table. "In case you haven't noticed, Mom and Jack are in danger, along with the entire universe as soon as the Other Michael comes through that rift! We already have a problem keeping tabs on each other as it is, now we have to make sure both Sam and Gabriel stay alive? People are dropping like flies, Cas, and if we lose one of them, we lose both!"
Sam, who'd been watching his brother start to erupt like a volcano, decided it was time to intervene. "Look, Dean, neither one of us is going to go running off into a suicide mission, ok? Maybe we're just… Overthinking this." He tried to reason.
Dean gave him a look that Sam was well versed with. The, 'I-know-better-than-you-so-shut-up' look. An overprotective older brother tended to have eyes that didn't see and ears that didn't hear. "Yeah, Sammy, 'course not. It's not like we, uh, we don't have a juiced-up archangel and satan on our asses! We're fine! No danger here." He threw his hands up in mock relief, shoulders still tense with anger and worry.
Rowena scoffed from the edge of the map table, tapping her chin lazily. "Honestly, Dean, I don't know why you're so negative all the time. You should be happy." She murmured.
"Happy?" Dean growled, not in the mood for her tricks.
"Yes," The witch said, "this way, we have enough power to stand a chance against your unhinged friend, and Samuel has finally found his other half," She smiled flirtatiously, causing Sam to roll his eyes and Dean to force himself from not unleashing a string of curse words.
"I'm not his other half," Sam shot back at her, "and if we're in that much trouble, it might not be a bad thing to have twice the power. I mean, we don't even know how this works yet. We might be able to take down Lucifer with this on our side."
"That is doubtful." Castiel interjected, "Lucifer, Michael, all the angels know that you are bonded now."
Sam's eyes widened at this. "W-what? That's impossible, we got the entire place warded!"
"You don't need to be nearby to know when an angel bonds its grace." Castiel replied, "It is a universal feeling… Almost like, a "public announcement" as you would say."
Dean could tell that he was fighting a losing battle, and even though he wanted to scream, fight, and demand they find a way to undo this, he knew they didn't have time. He couldn't afford to waste precious moments letting his anger out. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ok… You guys stay here, make sure Gabriel gets back to himself to make enough grace so we can open the rift again. Cas and I will go look for Lucifer."
Sam's heart leapt to his throat at that, and he jumped up after his brother. He'd lost Dean so many times before, he didn't know if he could do it again. "Dean, wait! You can't just run out looking for him, he'll kill you!" He protested.
Dean grabbed his shotgun from the table, walking over to Cas so he could fly them away. "We need the extra grace as back up. If Gabriel can't get up to par in time, we can't wait. We need to get back to Jack and mom."
Sam was ready to point out all of the flaws in his older brother's plan. Before he could speak up, however, Rowena sauntered by and joined them.
"Don't lose your head, Samuel," She patted Sam on the shoulder as she passed him, "I'll make sure he stays out of trouble."
Dean looked at her, frowning in confusion. "What, you're coming with us?" He asked.
Rowena smirked, folding her arms. "You boys will need help trapping the devil, and I know a spell or two… besides." Her face turned dark, "I have a bone to pick with him myself."
"Don't we all." Dean said grimly, eyes never leaving his little brother.
"Dean, wait-" Sam cried, but before he could utter another word, the three were gone with the sound of flapping wings.
Sam closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the hopelessness that was worming its way in through his head. Who am I kidding, I've been messed up since Lucifer, he thought bitterly to himself, why try to fix what's broken beyond repair. He knew what sealed the deal with his mental and emotional damage. It was looking upon Lucifer's face. Looking upon his real, true face. He could never get that image out of his head. Even thinking about it made him want to be physically ill, and he had to concentrate on something else before the madness overtook him.
"I could help with that, you know." A sudden voice said from behind him.
Sam nearly jumped out of his seat and his heart stopped for two beats as he whirled around to see Gabriel standing behind him. "Son of a bitch! Don't do that," He gasped, trying to catch his breath, before registering what Gabriel had said. "Wait, help with what?"
Gabriel crossed his arms and leaned against one of the columns, honey golden hair falling in strands around his face. "Some people say that looking at an angel's true face can counteract the effects of looking at my brother." He said casually.
Sam's eyes widened. Not even caring that Gabriel had completely invaded his privacy by reading his mind, his thoughts were focused solely on what he said. Ever since The Cage, he'd been desperate to find a way to at least get rid of that horrible memory. Recently, however, he'd started to accept the fact that it was too late, that he'd be haunted by that indescribable horror for the rest of his life. But a small surge of hope at the possibility of being able to get over that reignited with in him. "Wait…" He started, "What are you saying?"
The archangel smiled at him with that grin that made him so much like the trickster he'd impostered. "I'm saying that laying eyes on my rockin' awesome face can make some people forget about Luci's ugly mug." He explained.
Sam swallowed nervously. "Could I do that?" He asked, "I mean, could I really look at your face without… you know… disintigrating?"
Gabriel rolled his eyes in exasperation. "I thought we went over this, Sammich, you literally just saw me."
"Yeah, but that was your… I dunno… dragon-y form. Can I actually do that? See you for… what you are?" His heart was thudding faster now, and felt his fingertips grow cold.
Gabriel shrugged. "They're not that much different. Besides, the big guy upstairs decided that you and I can work well together. You'll have to be able to see me eventually."
Sam looked at him apprehensively, knowing that if he was wrong, he'd have to feel his eyeballs melt into an ashy goo before his flesh flaked away like a burnt up marshmellow. But if he was right… If he was right, he might actually get to be freed from that dark, suffocating image that tormented him every night. He might get some of his life back.
"Then I'll do it." He said softly after a moment of silence, looking up to Gabriel, "Show me."
The archangel dropped his trickster facade and he looked at Sam seriously, and a flash of emotion crossed his eyes. Was that… nervousness? But just as soon as it'd come, it was gone. "Are you sure you know what you're asking for?" He walked slowly towards Sam, "You might regret it."
Sam shook his head without hesitation, a sudden certainty mounting within him. "I'm sure." He said.
Gabriel looked at him for one last, long moment, before sighing and giving an almost imperceptible nod. For a moment, he contorted his arms in such a strange fashion that Sam almost thought he was seizing, and worry jumped into his throat as he began to move towards him.
What happened next, however, was something he'd never forget. Something that somehow was able to engrave itself into his very soul. A momentarily blinding light exploded into the room, and he blinked back for a moment, wondering for a split second if he'd been wrong, if he should close his eyes. But then the harshness faded, and the world around him was bathed in a warm light, a color that the english language didn't even have a word for. It was soothing and calming, between a golden and… purplish color? Sam couldn't tell. He didn't have anything to compare it to. A pool of pure grace flitted around his feet, swirling with that glowing blue light it was known to produce. And there, towering over Sam like a skyscraper, was what had to be Gabriel.
Sam didn't know whether to be terrified or rejoice at what he saw. It was… unlike anything on earth, that was for sure. It was humanoid in a way, but it wasn't. It had arms, but they were long and different, hanging down to mid calf. Or, where calves would be on a human. The limbs on this creature were a glowing menagerie of colors and patterns. They were sinewy, almost like sticks stuck in a rag doll. To Sam's amusement, however, the creature had five fingers and five toes, like he did. He would've laughed at the similarity if he wasn't so awestruck. The creature was wearing something, what looked like a tunic, but it wasn't. A shroud of mist, almost, dragged down around it's feet, clinging to the creature like a needy child would to its mother. It was sheer and flowing, like a living piece of fabric. The spindly hand held the familiar looking angel blade, and further up on the creature, six enormous wings stretched around Sam and out of his eyesight. They were gold, in every imaginable shade of gold, and dotted with stars and planets. Perhaps it's head was the most shocking. Heads, more like it. The creature seemed to have four different faces. An eagle-like animal's face was looking out of the side of it's head, a ram with horns was looking out of the other side of it's head, and that of a lion was facing the back. The lion's mane was long, flowing down to the creature's oddly shaped, skeletal like feet. And front and center, facing Sam, was a simplified, almost-caricature like humanoid face. It had no nose, no eyebrows, no lips, but a long, thin mouth that was drawn in a straight line. It's eyes took up the majority of the space on this face, large, perfectly shaped circles that glowed with the light of blue grace.
Sam wanted to say something, say anything to express how he was feeling, but instead, all he managed to utter was; "Gabe!... You… You're a lion!"
The sound of Gabriel laughing was nothing like his human vessel's laugh. It was a thousand voices laughing at once. Men, women, children, all of varying ages and tones, united in a soft chuckle, the voice echoing around him as if it was coming from a thousand different places. It made the ground beneath his feet vibrate.
"Do you like me better this way?" A voice asked, and Sam had to choke down a cry of surprise when he heard it. It was two voices in one. One of the voices was that of a little boy, and the other was deep and stalwart, like that of warrior. It would've normally been creepier beyond belief, but Sam couldn't help but love it.
"Y-Y-y-you… You're gorgeous!" Sam stuttered, unconsciously moving forward towards the creature.
Gabriel lowered his face, the huge head bending down to meet at Sam's level, giant eyes each the size of Sam himself. They blinked at him twice, and Sam noticed it's… eyelids… were just a bunch of galaxies. "Thanks, Sammy," The voices said, "I'm not one to deny a compliment."
Slowly and with shaking hands, Sam reached out and touched the face of his angel, right between his eyes. It felt like warm water beneath him, almost like a liquid despite the fact that it appeared fairly solid. And as soon as he made contact with that face, as soon as he touched the warmth that was Gabriel, he felt all memories of Lucifer disappear. It was conscious and unconscious. It was like soap washing away dirt- he felt the sadness and despair and disgust and every negative emotion that the ex-archangel had left him with disappear, leaving his body and vanishing.
Gabriel made a noise at Sam's contact, something between a groan and a squeak, and all the voices that made up his laughter seemed to gasp in surprise.
Pulling away with a gasp, Sam noticed a handprint where he'd touched, glowing a bright orange. "I-I'm so sorry!" Sam exclaimed hurriedly, "Did I hurt you?"
The handprint glowed brighter for a moment before disappearing into the depths of Gabriel's face, almost like it was being absorbed into his skin… Did he even have skin?
Sam imagined that if the creature could've, it would've shaken its head. "No," He said, "it actually feels… really nice."
Sam swallowed briefly, before laying his palm back on the face once more. "Gabriel… Have you ever grieved Lucifer?" The question left his mouth before he could stop it. Where the hell did that come from? He thought, surprised at his own inner workings.
Gabriel's mouth twitched downwards slight, the line drooping at the sides. "Yes." He answered honestly, "Every day… How do you know?"
Sam licked his lips rubbing his palm against Gabriel's face subconsciously. "I… I don't know how to describe it. It's like I can… feel your memories, almost. And most of the really early ones are with him, before he fell, I think."
Gabriel was silent, but Sam's heart hurt when he saw the top set of wings droop slightly.
"He was your favorite, wasn't he?" Sam whispered lowly, "You two did everything together, didn't you?" Memories that weren't his own flashed before his eyes, and like watching a movie, he saw that most of them were with Lucifer. They were playing, flying, laughing… It was all joy that emanated like steam from those memories. Gabriel laughed, but it was a sad laugh. Sam could tell because some of the laughing voices were crying instead.
"Everyone loved him. He was the most beloved angel in heaven. Everyone wanted to be like him… Our old man favored him the most, and everyone agreed that he should. That was how admired he was." Gabriel said wistfully, as if he was lost in one of the memories. But there was a layer of indescribably sadness cloaked over them, and Sam suddenly wanted nothing else in the world but to peel it away and make sure the creature only ever felt good things. "We were like you and Dean." Gabriel admitted softly, and the voices in the background made noises of upset, and some of the female voices were weeping.
Sam frowned sadly, and, although he knew he shouldn't, he used his other hand to slowly, ever so slowly, reach out and stroke the long, bone-like finger of the angel's right hand. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry you lost him." He said genuinely. "And I'm sorry no one ever told you they were sorry."
He didn't see, but he felt the other large hand move in strange, slow increments to envelope his entire body, cupping his cheek with the six foot long thumb. The giant palm pushed him closer to the creature's face, and without thinking about it, Sam reached over and hugged the creature's mask-like, humanoid face. It felt like pressing his body against a warm ocean, but he didn't need to come up for breath.
Sam closed his eyes as he leaned into the embrace, and suddenly, within a fraction of a second, he felt the body beneath him shrink. The hands became flesh like again and the face was normal sized and buried in his chest. Now he was taller than Gabriel, and he knew he'd retreated back to his vessel.
He opened his eyes and they were standing in the bunker again, the warm light gone. Sam was holding Gabriel against his chest, and he reluctantly unwrapped his arms from the angel. Gabriel looked up at him, and surprisingly, there were no tears in his eyes. He was… happy.
"What do you think?" He asked jokingly, "Am I taller than you or what?"
Sam could only laugh. Despite the fact that the apocalypse was on their heels and the weight of the world was on their shoulders. He laughed and laughed, and felt better than he had in years. Maybe this whole grace thing wouldn't be such a bad idea after all...