Nintendo High
Chapter 2: Classes are a Pain
(Originally posted on deviantART on April 24, 2012.)

Homeroom with M. C. Ballyhoo was...interesting, to say the least, as were his normal classes. Students in Ballyhoo's classes were typically very enthusiastic about the subject at hand, as the man had a talent for making even current events interesting for the kids of today. "All right, everyone!" Ballyhoo exclaimed, holding a stack of papers. "I'll be passing out your schedules now. I hope you got all the classes you wanted!" He began passing out the papers to each student.

"So," Mario asked Luigi upon both receiving their schedules. "What's your first class, bro?"

Luigi quickly checked his schedule. "Looks like I have Worlds History with Mrs. Mort," he replied. "What about you?"

"I got..." Mario looked at his class list, but let out a groan upon seeing who the teacher was. "Senior English with Toadsworth."

"Sounds like fun," Luigi said sarcastically.

"No kidding," Mario moaned. "Peach had him for junior English last year. She told me how he just drones on and on and never really gets to the point of anything."

Soon, it was time for everyone to head to their first period. Mario and Luigi's first classes were both in the same hall, so they headed in that direction together. On their way, they passed the Kopidama that had been on the bus with them. He was carrying a small pile of breakfast foods. "Darn," the Kopidama said to himself. "I got all this stuff, and now I'm not so sure that I actually want all of it."

"Hey, Kirby," Mario greeted the Kopidama cheerfully.

"Oh, hiya, guys!" Kirby replied with a smile. "Um...either of you want some of my extra breakfast food?"

"I'm good, thanks," Luigi said.

Mario looked over Kirby's selection of food. "Do you have a breakfast pizza?" he asked.

"Sure," Kirby said. "Here you go." He handed Mario a breakfast pizza wrapped in a slightly greasy napkin.

"Thanks!" Mario exclaimed.

"No problem, Kirby replied. He smiled, then hurried on to his class.

"...Breakfast pizza?" Luigi asked his brother, perhaps confused about the concept of such.

"The Pop-Tarts didn't fill me up," Mario said matter-of-factly.

At this point in the day, Link was really wishing he had gone to sleep earlier the previous night. It was taking all his willpower to stay awake, and that was saying something considering that falling asleep during public speaking class with the fairy teacher Navi was incredibly difficult. However, his brief consideration of pretending his textbook was a pillow was interrupted by a light impact to the back of his head, followed by something shifting down between his shirt and undershirt. He fished it out from between his shirts to see that it was a paper wad. Opening it, he was greeted by an obscene drawing that, if described, would raise the rating of this story from somewhere between PG and PG-13 to probably the high end of R. The drawing was labeled with a note reading "this is you". Link turned around to see the only person who would be both suspicious enough and capable of throwing the paper; Dedede, a penguin-like individual and a minor bully who liked to hang out with Bowser.

Upon noticing Link, Dedede quickly looked away. Link glared at Dedede in annoyance for throwing the paper wad. "What?" Dedede muttered, playing innocent.

Link turned back around, knowing that he wouldn't be able to oust Dedede as a class distraction until after class was over. However, almost immediately after turning back to the front, another paper wad struck Link in the same spot. Link quickly turned back to face Dedede and shouted, "Knock it off!"

"HEY!" Navi exclaimed from the front of the room. "If you have something to say, raise your hand first!" Link glanced around to see a few of his classmates staring at him due to his shout.

"But...I...Dede..." Link tried to explain himself, but Navi flew over to the space in between his seat and Dedede's.

"Both of you, see me after class, please," Navi told them. Later, after class, Link and Dedede were staying behind as told. Navi hovered in front of them as they tried to avoid eye contact, which wasn't too difficult as their eyes were about the same size as Navi's head. "So," Navi said calmly, "what's going on between you two?"

"I dunno, Ms. Navi," Dedede replied, trying to seem innocent. "Link's just freaking out for no reason."

"Yeah, and the paper wads that hit my head were thrown by a ghost in the classroom," Link snarked. He waved at Prince Boo as he passed by them.

Navi sighed. "Well, in all honesty, I saw the whole thing," she said. "I just wanted to hear it from the both of you." She turned to Link. "May I see the papers Dedede threw at you, please?"

"I...I don't think you want to," Link said nervously. "They've kind of...they've kind of got some nasty drawings on 'em."

"I think I'll survive." Link handed Navi the papers and she looked them over. "Dedede," Navi said, "as a junior, you should be more mature during class. Throwing papers at your classmates is very distracting, and especially when they contain obscene artwork. These aren't even anatomically correct!" She wadded the papers up and threw them in the trash. "I'll let you off with a warning this time, but don't let it happen again. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," Dedede said with a sigh. He picked up his backpack and left the classroom.

Navi then turned her attention to Link. "I don't want you to think you're in trouble, Link," she said warmly. "I just wanted both of you to be able to explain the situation like mature young adults. I'll write you a note to your next class, but next time there's a problem, please tell me instead of shouting about it in the middle of class. Okay?"

"Okay, Ms. Navi," Link said.

Second period for both Mario and Luigi was PE. While the school's PE classes had students of both genders, as there was only one gym, classes were doubled up with the boys reporting to Donkey Kong, the school's football coach. "All right, class!" Donkey Kong (or as most of the student body addressed him, Coach DK) exclaimed upon taking roll. "We're gonna have a fun year together, as long as you follow these three simple rules: try your hardest, play fair, and for god's sake, do not make goo-goo eyes at Ms. Aran." Predictably, many of the boys' turned their gaze toward where the girls had reported. With the girls was the second gym teacher, Samus Aran, who was not only the coach of the ladies' basketball team, but was also fairly good-looking.

"What did I just say?!" DK reprimanded the boys. They mumbled some quick apologies. DK shook his head in disappointment, knowing he would probably get chewed out by Samus later if she noticed. "All right, then," he said. "Now you guys go take a couple warm-up laps around the gym while I get things set up for today's class." The students of both classes dispersed and began to either walk or run around the gym at their own pace. DK took the time to pull aside a Gerudo boy by the name of Ganondorf Dragmire. "So, Dragmire," he said in a friendly tone, "are you thinking of joining the football team this year?"

"My answer's still no, Mr. Kong," Ganondorf replied, slightly annoyed. "Team sports aren't really my thing."

"You sure?" DK asked, disappointed. "This year's the last chance you have if you want to join, after all."

"I'm completely sure," Ganondorf said. Later on, a cart carrying basketballs was brought out and the basketball hoops were lowered. DK and Samus taught the class how to play basketball, starting with learning to throw free throws, something Samus was better at doing than DK since she was the coach of the ladies' basketball team. After a while, it was time for class to end. As the students gathered their things and filed out of the gym, an older gentleman in a lab coat stepped in.

"Ah, good morning!" the gentleman said to Coach DK and Samus. "Mr. Kong, Ms. Aran." He shook each of their hands.

"Good morning, Dr. Oak," Samus replied. "Do you need help getting anything set up for your class?"

"No, but thank you for offering," Dr. Oak said with a smile. "Though if you could get the remote to open the pool for me, that would be nice." Soon enough, a new, smaller group of students started to file into the gym, among them being Red, his friend Leaf, and Oak's grandson Blue. Each student was carrying a Pokéball on their person. "Ah, good morning, everyone," Oak greeted them. "Welcome back, glad we could be together for another year. I'm sure that you've all been waiting for this part of the course since last year, so let's get started. Today, we're going to start covering Pokémon battles, from the basic mechanics to advanced strategies."

"This is gonna be so exciting!" Leaf whispered to both Red and Blue.

"Whatever," Blue said indifferently. "I'm only here because I couldn't think of another elective. I could learn this stuff any time I felt like it."

"We know he's your grandfather," Red told him. "You don't have to rub it in."

"All right, then," Oak said, clapping his hands together. "I feel there's no better teacher than experience when it comes to battling, so I'm going to need a volunteer for a practice battle. Any takers?"

Almost immediately, Red's hand shot up into the air. "I'll go!" he exclaimed. He had been waiting to get some battle experience for some time now.

"Excellent!" Oak said. "I had a feeling one of you three would volunteer." He motioned Red to step forward and pulled out a Pokéball of his own. Red released his Pokémon, which was a Charmeleon, a Fire-type Pokémon resembling a bipedal lizard with a flame on its tail. Oak released his own Pokémon, a Pikachu, a mouse-like Electric-type. "Now," Oak began to explain, "when starting a battle, it's important to pay attention to the type match-up between your Pokémon and your opponent's. As you already know, Pokémon have different strengths and weaknesses against certain attacks depending on what type they are. Can anyone give me an example of a type of move that would be super-effective against your Pokémon?" Leaf raised her hand. "Yes, Miss Verdant?"

"My Ivysaur would be weak to Fire-type attacks because of his Grass type," Leaf answered, "as well as a Psychic-type attack due to his Poison-type."

"Excellent." Oak said. "I was about to mention dual-typed Pokémon myself." He turned to the rest of the class. "Yes, some Pokémon have two types instead of just one, and the combination of the two affects their strengths and weaknesses just as critically as it does for single-typed Pokémon. In some cases, a Pokémon may gain or change a secondary type upon evolving. For instance, if Red's Charmeleon here were fully evolved, my Pikachu would have a slight advantage. Can anyone tell me why that is?"

Blue raised his hand. Upon being called, he replied, "Charizard has Flying as its secondary type, and Electric-type attacks are super-effective against Flying-types."

"That's my boy!" Oak said proudly. "Yes, if Red had a Charizard, my Pikachu would have a slight, yet shocking, advantage. However, type match-up alone does not determine victory. The moves a Pokémon has learned are also very important. Red could have taught his Charmeleon a Ground-type move, which is super-effective against Electric-type Pokémon like Pikachu. But rather than just talk about it, let's put your knowledge to the test." The two combatants and their Pokémon moved out into a more open part of the gym to begin their battle. "Since Red here is the challenger, I'll allow him to make the first move. Whenever you're ready, Red."

"All right." Red grinned and turned his cap around. "Charmeleon, use Flamethrower!"