Feeling, Remembering
I wondered about the endless halls of Imladris. I passed the hall filled with historic paintings of battles and the statue holding up a plate of broken sword pieces, Narsil. I can't tell the time anymore since I haven't slept since I died. The days and nights blur together endlessly, but I have noticed the sapling that grew over my bones has become taller and wider. I have seen many elves, Men, some dwarrow, and an occasional wizard pass through the halls I haunt.
It amused me that after some time, my cap had become fashionable during the more colorless season, winter. The rest of my mortal clothes were carefully cleaned, preserved, and stored in a box somewhere. The only jewelry I had on, an old heart-shaped necklace with very small diamonds weaved in it my sister gave me for a present on a Christmas holiday, was tucked into the heart of my sapling, in the roots. I guess that was the reason I was lingering. The only thing and person I could remember anymore.
Emptiness had filled me after the day I accepted I was dead. I didn't care for the living. I didn't care for those few spiritual elves that could see me sometimes in Lord Elrond's library. I have read every book within the ancient shelves, in every language. I had guessed that language barriers don't matter anymore. Those books had occupied my boredom to the last book.
Everything here was like a fairytale. The histories, the battles, and the creatures were so unbelievable. I waited to wake up, but the longer I waited, the more I could phase through mortal objects and beings was growing. Instead of ghostly white, blue, gray, and black shades form of myself, I continue to become translucent. In recent staring at my sapling turn young flowering tree and faded word, curiosity slowly crawled out of the sea depths of disinterest.
'What is the world like outside this valley? I don't have to worry about food, sleep, or shelter anymore. Could I explore?'
After the moment of those thoughts, I suddenly remembered the word carved into the tree was my name. I blinked. I felt something well within me. I couldn't remember what the feeling was called anymore. A faint sensation passed in my eyes, a pressure of some kind.
"What is this feeling," I asked myself.
"I do believe that is sadness my dear. The air has the faint wisps of it coming off your heart. Now in light of circumstances, you have been lingering in these gardens and halls for decades. What is it that keeps you here?"
I turned to stare up at the tall gray being. He shifted his staff as he gazed into my eyes. I turned back to my name. I pulled my hair in front of me to run my hands through it. I don't know the actual reason, but my treasure, my necklace was here. My bond with my sister was something I held onto when I was alive to stay sane. It was all I could remember. That necklace is sacred to me.
Suddenly, a blinding light shone behind me before the pointy end of the being's staff – a wizard I finally remembered- with the crystal fazed through my chest. I felt at peace and light. I felt for the first time in a long while tired. I wanted to rest. I closed my eyes, embracing the feeling. Then suddenly golden light filled my vision as I felt gravity again. I fell hard to the ground. I thudded to the ground. It hurt. It hurt!
I rolled around in the dirt and trimmed grass, relishing the sensation of feeling something again, dirt gathering under my nails and dusting my long hair and the blades of grass and surrounding leaves scratching my sensitive skin. I could feel the heat of the spring sun and the gentle breeze grazing my cheek. I could smell the musky soil, the fresh air, and the sweet fragrance of the surround flora. I could smell something bitter, probably the bruised vegetation. I grinned as I looked around, stumbling to stand up and twirl around. The vibrant colors, creams, and pastels of everything around me are spinning around as I caught sight of my gleaming hair as it flowed and whipped in the wind. I plumped back down and leaned back on my hands, digging them into the cool carefully tilled ground, taking in everything Middle-Earth and Imadris' garden had.
Memories of when I was alive came rushing back, the great, the good, the boring, the bad, and the worse. I remembered my house, my home, my family, my friends, and every other person I had deemed important and unimportant to me. I remember all the laughter and fun. I remember the arguing and the fights. Everything.
Then every sense I just had started to dull to nothing but slight pressures again. My memories started to fade until all I could recall was something I just remembered was forgotten. I laid there on the ground, feeling empty once again. I raised my hand to see them, feeling like they should be dirty, but instead they are clean and blemish free. I could feel something drain out of me, leaving me blank as to what did and is happening.
I turned my head to see what is making the rustling sound. I saw an old man in grey robes shifting to sit up. He sat wincing. I could see his staff off to the side, smoking but still whole. I looked back to the old man's eyes. His eyes were grave but bright. I faintly heard rushing footsteps. The elves came around asking in rapid session what's wrong and where the threat was. They helped up the wizard. He continued to stare at me. The elves looked in my direction in confusion, all but one. Lord Elrond looked at me in confusion and caution. The wizard spoke.
"It seems, my dear that the Valor does not want you leave Middle-Earth yet."