Seated behind the wheel of the frozen engine I heaved in a giant breath of air while the people of Hawaii passed me by. Whether it was by foot, bicycle, or car they all seemed to be leaving me behind which was exactly how I felt at this moment. Ever since Kono announced her engagement this morning I've caught myself a victim of thoughts I never thought I would be associated with. Being the youngest I assumed Kono would have taken her time trying to settle down with a husband and a family, but I guess I was wrong. Everyone else on the team either is or has been successful in their love life. Most of them have even reached the point of marriage, or almost did. Chin's been engaged, Danny's divorced with a little tyke riding behind him, and now Kono's been thrust into the world of maturity and holy matrimony. This meant I, Steve McGarrett, was the only one left. You would think someone like me would have had a line of ladies waiting to wed me, but I guess I've just been too busy with my life leading the 5-0 to even stop and try to find the perfect girl for me.
Maybe Kono's engagement was a sign. I was running out of time. In a couple of years I doubt I would still have the face girls would be dying to get a piece of. After all, even the best fall down sometimes. Even the people on my team would be leaving me behind to have warm discussions about how their significant others were holding up or how their kids were doing while I'll be left in the corner with nothing to say and no experience in that field at all whatsoever. "God, I hate this," I mumbled to myself.
After the events from this morning had taken my guard down and knocked me off of my pedestal everyone thought it was best I take the rest of the day off. They all thought my head wasn't into it today and I guess they were right. Since Kono's words got to my head I have not been thinking straight. Perhaps it was 'cause for as long as I've known her I've only ever seen her as Kono, the rookie. She's never given me the impression that she would ever be caught be dragged down by a husband, no matter how great of a guy Charlie was. If anyone could land a girl like Kono you would have to be pretty incredible. Kono has always seemed like an independent woman to me. I mean, the first time I ever saw her she was delivering love taps to all who got in on her wave. She can definitely hold up with the big boys, that's for sure. It takes a lot of talent to be the only girl on a team like ours. I guess the Kono she was just grew on me. It didn't help that we were living in such close quarters for the past month or so, but there was no avoiding it. When a friend is in need, you have to be there to step up to the plate. As a SEAL you had to know when you were needed and when you simply needed the initiative to be there to back up a comrade in need.
For now I'll just settle on the fact that I'm not used to seeing Kono with a guy. Obviously I've seen her around guys, but I meant the kind of guys she looks at like the way she looks at Charlie. In all honesty I kind of wish she was able to show me that side of her. I wish she was able to look at me with that sort of love in her almond eyes just once. Was it because she's been the most recent sort of interaction I've had with someone of the opposite sex in a long while? I don't know. Maybe it was. Either way I am just going to have to suck it up and accept the fact that life was moving around me just like it was now. People pass by to get to their own destination all the time. Life does not stop for anyone and I should know that more than anyone. After all, I've learned it the hard way.
Just then my phone began vibrating against the pocket of my denim jeans again. Lazily I reached into my pocket and latched onto the device thinking it was Danny calling about something stupid again. Without daring to check the name that lit up on the screen I pressed the phone against my ear and greeted the person on the other line with an abrupt, "What?"
"Well sorry, Boss, I didn't know this was a bad time," a female voice responded with a hint of sarcasm underlying her casual tone.
For a moment my eyes widened. "Kono. Sorry, I thought you were Danno for a second."
She giggled. "Um, isn't that why they invented caller ID? It's not the 90's anymore."
"Of course. If it was still the 90's the notifications on my pager would be non-stop," I retaliated lightly to which she began to laugh meaning my three second role as comedian was a complete success. "Anyways, why'd you call? I thought you'd still be out with Charlie and the Fongs," I continued. I wasn't sure if I was just overanalyzing everything this morning, but I could have sworn I had bitter taste in my mouth when I mentioned her husband-to-be's name. I just hope she hadn't noticed.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?" she asked, the tone in her voice slightly worried.
"No. I'm not really doing anything right now."
"Alright. Chin informed me how you left work early today so I was just making sure."
I chuckled, hiding the fact that I was concerned whether or not Chin mentioned the details of why they found it necessary to send me home so early in the day. "What are you, my mother?"
"Aw, isn't that cute. The SuperSEAL is trying to be sassy with me," she joked. I could hear her smiling from the other side of the line. I know it has only been a couple hours since I last saw her, but I really missed that smile. It always found a way to brighten my day, or anyone's day, in the slightest bit at the least. "Anyways, I just wanted to check if you were home."
"Um…" I trailed off knowing for a fact that I was not even close to home at this moment in time. "I'm around," I continued, lying. The moment I got into my car after Danny and Chin sent me home to sleep off whatever the hell made me act so out of character this morning I revved up the engine, drove off, and haven't looked back ever since. The only reason I was parked beside a tourist attraction right now was because I got too tired to drive around anymore. Nothing was going the way I wanted this morning and I felt like I just needed to take a break from everything for a while. Kono's call was what thrust me back into reality, taking me back to where I was and where I needed to be. "I can be home if you want me to be, though. I don't mind."
She was silent for a bit as if unsure of how to respond. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Definitely."
"Alright. Then how soon do you think you can get home?"
I stopped for a moment trying to figure out where the hell I was to begin with. I glanced around from behind by car window and checked for any familiar streets or monuments before answering. "In about twenty minutes. I can call you to let you know when I'm close."
"No, it's fine. I'll just be at the house."
I paused for a moment. "Alone?" I asked suspiciously. She's officially with Charlie now. I doubt with the engagement having happened just a couple long hours ago I would have suspected she'd be out with her girlfriends and family celebrating the first step towards the rest of her life. Why would she want to care about my well-being anymore? I didn't know if I was just being bitter about the whole thing for whatever sensible reason there was, but I simply cleared my throat and pulled my focus back to Kono. "Do you need something? If you want we can just do it over the phone."
"Do you just not want to see me?" she asked me innocently, her voice strained in the slightest bit.
Her question had taken me aback. "No, I didn't mean it like that. All I was trying to imply was that I didn't find a reason for you to wait around for me. It's not like you ever did before…" I said, unaware.
There was a brief beat before she began I heard her voice on the other line again. "What do you—"
"You know what? Never mind. I don't think I'm thinking straight today," I interrupted, not wanting her to speculate any further. It was one of those moments where it seemed as if the more I kept talking and defending myself the worse I was making it for me in the grand scheme of things. I sighed, giving up any hope of trying to fix the last five minutes of my life. "What I'm trying to say is my home is your home. You know that. I can still come by if you want, but you don't have to wait for me to give you permission."
She was silent for a while. During those few seconds where neither of us spoke my mind began to wander to Kono and what her side of the line was like. What did she think was going on with me today? If I didn't know what was wrong with me then I didn't know anybody would. But Kono on the other hand knew me. She worked with me, sure, but I meant she 'knew' me as in we've been living together for so long I feel like she could define and recognize every action, gesture, or facial expression I made and link it back to something that was tugging me from the inside. She has always been really observant, a really good trait to have in an occupation in the criminal justice field. There were, however, pros and cons to everything. She may have a keen eye for the little things often overlooked by the common man, but I had a fear she could sense me out during the times when I really don't want to be identified. Right now was one of those times. Kono was one of those people I never wanted to see me with my guard down. I promised her I would protect her at all costs. She was supposed to see me as strong and supportive. There should never be a need for me to take back those words and have the tables turn on me.
"What if I don't want your permission? Maybe I just wanted to sit at home and talk like we used to."
The sound of her voice had surprised me. It was silent for what seemed to be an eternity in my eyes that I had forgotten she was even there. I feared that I was thinking so much to the point I might have accidentally slipped out a few words that would have let her know she has been clouding my mind incessantly with thoughts of her. "But wouldn't—"
"I have the rest of my life to spend with Charlie. Besides, he's out with the guys right now."
"… okay. I'll be there then." And that was when I hung up. With that I revved up my engine, pressed my foot on the gas pedal, and peeled out of wherever I found myself toward home where Kono was waiting for me. Even though I still felt extremely iffy about the tenseness in our conversation, I felt lighter with each mile that passed by knowing it was bringing me closer and closer to home. Could this mean it was Kono? I couldn't be too sure and frankly I didn't really care at this point. I was just happy to know I was getting back into the part of my routine that made me the happiest: Sitting around in the comfort of my own home with Kono telling me the best and worst parts of her day. But to me every part of her day has somehow always ended up becoming a highlight in mine.