AN: First, thank you so much for the reviews and alert requests for the first chapter! They really made me so happy and I can't wait to hear what you think of this one as well.
Next chapter will be Thanksgiving, so maybe by actual Christmas we will have a Christmas chapter. (Fingers crossed!)
Still not Beta'd but it will be someday. I just wanted to get it out to you all.
Finally...Disclaimer time: Stephenie Meyers owns the characters. I just made them like baked goods.
Chapter 2: Cranberry Scones
One week went past since the obnoxious Edward Cullen had darkened Bella's bakery with his questionable ideas. Bella had hoped with every ounce of her being that he and that unruly hair would take the first left off a very high cliff. She was finished with imaging him in various states of undress and doing her laundry. Bella hated doing any sort of clothes washing and found it very logical to have fantasies of attractive men performing the task for her. While this was a perfectly nice fantasy with normal men, Edward Cullen was quite possibly a Jason Batemen. That wasn't correct, that was the guy from Arrested Development. Bella wondered then who was the character in that horrible American Psycho movie, because whoever Christian Bale was in that movie, it fit Cullen to a tee. Other than his good looks, his only other admirable quality had to be his taste for well baked pastries. Bella wondered if this was a common trait of psychopaths.
Charles Swan sat at the counter of his only daughter's bakery and watched her be oblivious to her surroundings. Charlie, as he was known around these parts, was used to these strange moments of Bella where she would stare into space and start chewing her lip and scrunching up her face like she was in pain. Usually, Bella was thinking something ridiculous and completely uninteresting to her dad. Her zoning out was bad for business and occasionally an issue of a customer calling 911, so Charlie in his infinite wisdom as Chief of Police decided to burst her bubble. "That Cullen family seems to be settlin' in nice."
"Cullen? You mean the jackass?" Bella jolted from her thoughts and looked at her father.
"What are you talking about, Isabella? They seem like a bunch of nice folks," Charles explained ignoring his child's sneer. Just like her mother, that one. You see, Charles Swan knew people just by looking at them and if he couldn't tell he would make sure he found out. It kept crime rates low and the day interesting. Being the head of the law enforcement of the sleepy town of Forks, everyone knew that Charlie was the town's worst gossip. He might swagger around town wearing his khaki uniform and Burt Reynold's mustache like he was above all the town happenings, but he wasn't happy if he wasn't in the thick of it. Charlie was one step ahead of the pink haired ladies that frequented Mimi Cope's Shear Magic Hair Spa when it came to spreading tales. Honestly, you have to have something to do when not harassing the local skate punks.
For that reason, Charlie rushed and almost fell flat on his face trying to get to his patrol car in order to spy…umm…welcome the new family to Forks. When he approached the large glass house he almost swallowed the tobacco he was chewing. Charlie couldn't quite figure why anyone would want to live in a place that anyone could see your business. (He was secretly pleased although, due to it making his investigation easier.) Damn, sometimes a man just wants to stick his hand down his pants and watch Sports Center without the neighbors judging. Of course, he suspected people living in the glass house were less likely to use the front of their pants as hand warmers. To each his own, was Charlie's philosophy, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Except to his astonishment, while not too keen on their choice of house, he was delighted with the Cullen clan.
That's why on this strangely sunny morning in his small town, Charles Swan's bottom was firmly seated on a stool and filling Bella and the always present Michael Newton Sr. on every single detail of his meeting with the Cullens. Between bites of freshly baked cinnamon muffins Charlie explained, "The mom, Es…Ester? That's not right? Esme? Do you ever wonder what happened to normal names like Mary?"
"No idea, Dad." She lifted up the coffee pot and motioned at him. "Refill?"
"Sure, Kid. Damn, this is a fine cup of Joe! Got any pumpkin spice creamer? As I was saying…What was I saying?"
"No clue. I was too busy to pretend to listen," Bella said with a shrug. This was a frequent occurrence in Bella and Charlie conversations. Charlie's gossip tangents had a tendency to fill up a day and in order to accomplish her tasks; Bella had the tendency to tune him out. He would start a conversation about the neighbors and she would immediately start a mental grocery list.
Charlie snorted, "Smart ass. Anyway, I sat in their very large kitchen. You would have liked all the fancy gadgets in there, Bells. Then she brought out a large plate of cookies. Nice lady, but those things tasted like soggy cardboard mixed with paint varnish."
"The only reason you are saying that is that I've spoiled you, Old Man." Bella winked at her dad.
"No, they were really that bad. I don't think she gave them a taste test first, because they were a step away from hazardous materials."
Bella's eyes widened in a mix of fear and embarrassment at what her father could have done. She remembered a time that Mrs. Handleson was almost arrested after Charlie tasted her blueberry crumble. He had suspected she was trying to kill her husband. The only thing she had been guilty of was being a horrible cook. Bella exclaimed, "Please tell me you didn't gag on them!"
"I can control myself, daughter of mine. I spit it out into a napkin and stuck it into my pocket." Charlie quickly reached into him pocket and pulled out a crumbled linen napkin. He grimaced depositing it next to his plate.
"Is that the same napkin?" Bella gasped. "You do realize that not only is that gross, but you in fact stole someone's napkin. The Chief of Police, which would be you, stole somebody's napkin. I should make a citizen's arrest right now, you crook."
Charlie looked confused for a moment, but his face quickly morphed into a grin. "No wonder it felt so nice on my face. I'm glad I didn't toss it in the trash. Wash for me and I can slip it back into their house when I go over to watch the game."
"Wait…you are willingly going to someone's house that you haven't known since your birth in the Stone Age? Are these people body snatchers?" Bella grabbed a muffin out of the case and bit down.
"Good people, kid. The dad is the new head of surgery at the hospital," Charlie said with a pleased grin. His only daughter, while smart as a whip was most definitely the most accident prone woman on the planet. An accomplished doctor who could do more than take a temperature was sorely needed for Bella's well-being. The time she tripped over a dog and impaled her leg on steel post meant a trip to Seattle after the emergency doctor at Fork's General passed out after seeing the blood. Carlisle Cullen was a definite improvement.
Charlie continued to sing the Cullen's praises, "Dr. Cullen is pouring money into the place. We are finally getting a MRI machine! I don't know what one of those gadgets actually does, but it has to be better than the usual Band-Aids they dole out over there. Essie…or is Emmie…she decorates or some such nonsense. This is Forks, so unless she's knitting covers for toilet paper rolls, there isn't much work around here. She's plenty sweet though."
"What about jack ass?" Bella knew her father would hate the sight of the jerk.
"The who?" Charlie asked.
"The son, I am referring to, who wants to bulldoze the town and destroy all its charm! Dad, he wants to gentrify the whole area!" Bella slapped her hand on the counter to emphasize her point making poor Mike Sr.'s coffee spill onto his argyle sweater.
Mike Sr. chimed in, "He wasn't a nice young man, Chief. He made Bella all red faced and sweaty."
"No he didn't!" Bella yelled.
"I am still trying to figure out what Bella is rattling off about. Gent..tree..fly?" Charlie took another swig of coffee wishing it was of the Irish variety.
"Make the town fancy, Dad."
"I didn't meet that one, just the other two." Charlie shrugged at his fuming child.
"There's two more! You have got to be kidding me." Bella started pacing behind the counter and tugging at her ear. Charlie just stared at her. He was beginning to be concerned about her antisocial tendencies. This was how crazy mountain people were made.
"Bell, they seem like nice kids. They are around your age. The boy is big! He should be playing linebacker and the girl is a firecracker."
Bella didn't care how nice they seemed. Those two were related to Cullen, so they were questionable in her book. Luckily the conversation was put on hold when the bell chimed and a sultry voice rang out, "Hey whore!"
Bella grinned at the statuesque blond who strolled into the room as she started opening up a pile of bills. Charlie quickly chastised the woman, "Deputy, is that anyway to address a citizen you are sworn to protect?"
"Oh no, Sir! I…was…I …just…," Rosalie Hale stuttered. The Chief was the only man the Amazonian had ever been intimated by. "I was just stopping by to bring breakfast into the boys at the station."
"I was just giving you a hard time, Deputy." Charlie gave the young woman a smile. Rosalie was not only his best officer, but she was like a second daughter to him. Finally, he had a respectful and obedient second daughter, unlike the snarky fruit of his loins. "Carry on with your conversation, ladies."
Bella glanced up from her bank statement and its meager balance and said, "What up, Bitch?"
"Nice to see the love, girls. It gives an old man a warm feeling. Have a seat, Rosie. Join us for breakfast."
"Does that warm feeling mean that I need to run to Malloy's Market and grab you a box Depends?" Bella asked her father while giving him a goofy grin.
Before Charlie could try to one up his snarly offspring, Rosalie reprimanded her friend, "Don't give the Chief a hard time."
"You, Hale are no fun! No chocolate croissant for you today. You are officially cut off!" Bella tossed a plate holding a plain croissant in front of Rosalie's sad face.
"You wound me!"
Bella laughed, "Indeed I do! If I don't then how will you ever learn?"
Truth be told, Bella would slip a chocolate confection to her friend sooner than later. Ever since Rosalie, that golden hair pinup met the willowy brunette they were thick as thieves. In a town full of big haired beauty queen wannabes, a female cop who loved fixing cars was a natural companion for a caustic baker who was usually covered in flour.
"You and your twisted games, Swan." Rosalie smiled at Bella, holding her plate out for the more appropriate croissant.
"You had me at 'twisted'." Bella switched Rosalie's breakfast to the chocolate variety.
"Sorry to interrupt the love fest, but what was that call on the radio this morning?" Charlie inquired.
Rosalie smirked, "Cat up a tree. Then good old Jacob got stuck up there too."
"Idiot," Charlie muttered. If Jacob Black wasn't his best friend, Billy's boy, he would have never given that doofus a job. They spent most of their days rescuing Deputy Black from the messes he got himself into. Usually these messes involved the deputy being caught with other men's wives. Charlie was going to be forced to put him on desk duty again and the real punishment would be for Charlie. He would have to be the one to sit and listen to Jacob's nonsense.
"Talking about idiots," Rosalie began with a frown. "My brother will be back in town tomorrow."
Charlie groaned, as Bella asked, "Jasper is coming back here? I thought he was DJing in Europe?"
"He was, but now he's being deported. It seems Prague has some issues with him."
"What did he do this time?" Charlie was not that punk's biggest fan.
"He was splashing in a fountain," Rosalie said.
Bella was surprised. "Of all of the stuff your brother has done, that is what they kick him out for?"
"Well he was also naked and sucking a pacifier," Rosalie said slowly. "Of course, he was also high on some rare mushroom."
"Oh." Bella decided that made a lot more sense.
"His ass should be some weird jail, but daddy dearest bailed him out and got him sent back here." Rosalie was not close to her parents. They wanted a debutante, but instead they got a tomboy who refused their money and demands. Instead, the Hales pampered Jasper to point of insanity for his devotion. Not surprisingly, he turned out to be a disappointment as well. A disappointment who wanted the one thing he couldn't have. "He can't wait to see you Bella."
"Oh, come on! He's still on that?" Bella shook her head. Jasper Hale had a stalking problem. A stalking Bella problem.
"I'll kill him!" Charlie growled.
"Don't worry, Dad. I'll have Pete whip up some brownies in the back for him."
Rosalie laughed, "The fake pot brownies! I love when he eats those! It's hilarious!"
Bella and Rose had discovered that Jasper was gullible to the point of lunacy. To get him away from her shop a few years earlier, Bella claimed to have baked brownies laced with pot. Jasper being clueless, fell for it. At first he just acted high or drunk, Bella wasn't sure, but it progressed when had eaten so many that he had passed out in the corner of the bakery. Bella quickly called her dad and Jasper was booked to sleep his sugar high off in jail several days. Sometimes a plan works too perfectly and it was sad she didn't have one for Edward Cullen. A plan, preferably, where he starts out being naked and then finishes with his fine backside heading out of Bella's town.
Charlie frowned at the girls and their silly plans. The last thing he needed was that weird kid following Bella around again. It was bad enough when Jasper went through his tortured artist phase and stole all of Bella's bras creating a masterpiece with his blood in front of City Hall. That boy was going to end up in the mental hospital if Charles Swan had anything to do with it.
Then a concern came to Charlie and he asked a question of great importance, "Rosie, does the boy have a job to keep him busy?"
"That's the problem. My parents are opening up a club for him to play that weird music he likes," Rosalie quickly said. She wished she could arrest her parents for being useless idiots, but unfortunately there were no laws on the books for that.
Charlie face morphed into red, then purple. It twisted into a face of pure, psychotic rage. They were putting a dance club in his quiet, little town? Forks already had two bars he had to keep track of. It was a whole different situation when you brought in an establishment with sex, drugs and that rap or techno stuff. What ever happened to good old honky tonk? Charlie was about to let out a scream, until he heard a twinkling voice that made him smile. "Hello. Is there a Bella Swan here? Oh my goodness! Chief Swan is that you? It's wonderful to see you again!"
Bella's mouth dropped open when she saw a tiny woman flitter into the bakery. Wearing what could only be described as a fuzzy, brown coat with a hood that had bear ears on it. She also wore a plaid kilt, paisley tights and chunky black boots. There was so much going on with that outfit that it was making poor Bella's head spin. She didn't know much about fashion, but that was definitely not considered normal. When the girl removed her hood, Bella was not surprised to see black hair sticking up all over head. She probably cut it herself. There was possibly something wrong with her.
Rosalie, on the other hand, was too busy observing her boss. Charlie Swan's face had a sweet blush upon it and a smile was placed firmly on his face. This girl had to be younger than Bella and herself. It was kind of gross to see her hard nose boss get flustered over this bizarre child woman. Rose had decided that this girl must be into voodoo and had cast a spell on the Chief. She decided to keep an eye on this one.
Charlie was just tickled pink to see the young lady. Not that he actually had a crush on the little one; it was more that he found her to be a ray of pure sunshine. She would be a wonderful friend for Bella and Rosie. Maybe, having a friend that enjoyed life and perhaps help the other two embrace their feminine side would be the best thing for everybody. To tell the truth, Charlie was getting a little tired of telling everyone that the two girls weren't lesbians. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but the women at Forks Congregational Church, had started planning an unnecessary commitment ceremony/wedding for them. It was taking all he had to get those old ladies to stop planning the flower arrangements.
"Well if it isn't the charming Alice Cullen. Sit yourself down, pretty lady and let an old man treat you to some breakfast! Bella, get Miss Alice anything she want!" Charlie exclaimed, while ignoring his daughter's scowl.
"Cullen?" Bella sneered. She had a bad feeling that Edward was behind this. A very bad feeling.
The pipsqueak trilled, "Oh yes! No breakfast for me, unless it's on my break! Edward sent me here to start work! Yay!"
Alice Cullen was very excited to do actual work. She always wanted to get her hands dirty and make an actual paycheck. Of course, she would still need funds from her parents and Edward was giving her more money to work here. It wasn't actually possible to have so much style and make minimum wage, but at least she wouldn't feel as guilty about her spending sprees. Plus, she was going to make friends and wasn't that the best part of all.
"Not hiring. I have plenty of employees," Bella announced. Pete and Liam were baking in the back. They were very competent bakers that she had trained herself. They followed her recipes to the letter and were good guys. Plus they kept their relationship out of the bakery, so Bella had no worries. She pointed to a stool. "Sit and have some breakfast. My dad's paying."
Alice sat down and Bella placed a cranberry scone in front of the girl. "Edward said…"
"I will deal with you brother. Eat!" Bella looked over to Rose. "What did I tell you? He is truly an evil man."
Rose nodded. "I could arrest him for littering."
"Oh gee! Edward would never litter! He's very neat and tidy!" Alice exclaimed. She was always exclaiming things. It was in her excitable nature.
"Eat!" Bella and Rosalie yelled in unison.
Charlie tried to get a word in, "Bells, you could really use some help out front. That will give you more time to bake and create more good stuff…"
"Eat!" Bella and Rosalie yelled again. The girls were looking in each other eyes, making a silent plan. Charlie always found that creepy, so he crammed some food in his mouth as a distraction.
Alice decided that it was in her best interest to try the food before her. Learn what was on the menu. Edward had said it was good; he couldn't stop talking about it or Bella. One bite and it was all it took for Alice to fall in love with the pastry and Bella. She could understand her brother's new obsession! It was like a symphony of taste on her tongue and at that moment, Alice knew Bella was to become her new sister.
"Can you cook other things?" Alice asked between bites and moans.
Bella broke off her mind meld with Rose to answer, "I went to culinary school."
That was all it took for Alice to decide that Edward would be marrying Bella, if she had to drug Bella and take her to Vegas herself. Alice could already tell her brother was smitten in with her in his twisted way, so that was the easy part. Bella would be a wonderful addition to the family. She was a woman that knew her way around the kitchen. No more food poisoning! No more projectile vomiting! No more of her mother crying and begging for forgiveness after sending the whole family to the hospital! Alice was sure that she wasn't being selfish and that Bella would be a true member of the family, not just a glorified cook. At least as long as her brother could keep Bella satisfied in the bedroom. On second thought, Alice didn't want to think about that!
"Bella, please, please, please let me be a part of your world! I am so hungr…grr…wanting to stretch my wings and learn how to cook. You could have me work out front and I can decorate! It really needs help. Please, please, please!" Alice begged.
Bella was about to slap the annoying gnat, but Alice was saved by the phone ringing. Bella quickly grabbed the phone. "Ugly Duckling Bakery. This is Bella. How can I help you?"
A man asked, "Is she there?"
"Black, Rose is almost done. She'll be there when she gets there. Just do what you always do and try to sneak watching porn on Department's computer. You know my dad knows, right? Talking about my dad, he's here. You want to chat with him?"
"Who's Black? Why is he watching porn?" The man inquired sounding annoyed.
Bella cringed, "This isn't Jacob, is it?"
"No. This is Edward. Edward Cullen. Has my sister started working, yet?" Edward wondered if Bella had a relationship with this Jacob Black. He also wondered what she was wearing. He did have a feeling his fantasy of red lace was far better than the reality. Knowing Miss Swan, she was probably wearing a grungy sweatshirt. "Also didn't we discuss a name change?"
Bella sneered, "I refuse to change the name, Red."
"Red?" He was getting tired of her mocking his hair.
"Carrot top?"
"Stop it! Is my sister there?"
"Sure is, Ginger. Want to come pick her up? Her chatter is scaring the customers." Bella wanted to laugh thinking about how red his face was getting at this point. She bet it matched his hair.
Edward noticed a spot of jelly on his sleeve from the inferior supermarket bagel he was eating at his desk. He was positive Bella's were delicious. He started to stare at the jelly and then thought of Bella covered in it. Then he started to panic about jelly stains. "Just make her work. Oh we need to discuss ingredients."
"She will not be working here…hey what's wrong with my ingredients?" She yelled into the phone.
Edward's ears felt like they were bleeding. "Let's talk organics."
"I use organic ingredients when I can get them. I always use organic fruits and vegetables. This is Forks so the selection is small, but I do order some from Port Angeles."
"Everything needs to be organic. It gets in higher clientele and we can raise prices."
"Are you on crack?" Bella questioned. What was wrong with this snob?
Charlie decided to listen in at that moment. "Who's on crack? Jasper? I'll arrest his ass right…"
"No, Dad. Nobody is on crack. Just drink your coffee." Bella noticed Mike Sr. leaving the bathroom after his fourth coffee. She turned her body towards Alice and an idea to make Edward miserable sprung into her head. "I won't be raising my prices. But…do you want your sister to work here?"
"Yes." Edward was confused how sweet her voice turned. He shouldn't trust it, but he was turned on by it.
"Alice, would you really, truly like to work here?" Bella asked sweetly. Rosalie sat up straight in her seat and started grinning. This was Bella at her finest.
Alice started bouncing in her seat. "Oh yes! Can I redecorate the front window? Who cut those horrible pumpkins? They look like shrunken heads!"
" Focus. Alice. I need you to head into the bathroom…" Bella began, her face getting bigger. Edward was listening in and feeling worried.
"I can pick out a new paint color in there?" Alice asked excitedly. This place could have potential if it was pretty.
"I need you to go in and grab the bucket and cleaning supplies under the sink and scrub the toilet." Bella's smile grew the size of the sun, as she watched Alice went into shock. Bella gave Alice's shoulder a squeeze and whispered loudly enough for Edward to hear, "Mr. Newton is the sweetest man, but he really stinks up the bathroom after drinking coffee."
Edward prepared for the scream to come forth from his sister, but was more frightened when he heard Alice calmly ask, "May I speak to my brother?"
"He would love to speak to you, Alice. Good bye, Edward." Bella said brightly. Edward heard another female voice laughing loudly in the background.
"Ali, listen…" Edward begged.
"You owe me." His sister said with venom. Edward knew to be afraid. Very afraid.