(Opening Credits)

(The four spotlights pop out yet again. Each one is slightly worse for ware, but nonetheless, functional. The clap-board claps. Zoom through camp past a rabbit, the cabins, the confessional, and Chef screaming at some interns, who are polishing one of the cabins.)

"Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine."

(Up the cliff and down into the lake.)

"You guys are on my mind."

(In the water, Cody and Owen open a treasure chest at the bottom of the lake. A shark pops out of it and bares its teeth, Cody becomes startled and quickly swim away)

"You asked me what I wanted to be,"

(The shark surfaces and pulls off its head…it's Izzy in disguise. She and Owen laugh, and Owen hugs her.)

"And now I think the answer is plan to see."

(Over in the forest, Lindsay and Tyler are making out. Meanwhile, Heather is glaring at them. Harold is looking at her lovingly. She turns around and snaps at him, and he screams and runs away.)

"I wanna be…famous!"

(Pan to the waterfall. Geoff and Bridgette are in the canoe, with Bridgette looking rather disgusted with him. The canoe goes over the fall, and both scream.)

"I wanna live close to the sun."

(Pan down to the log. Ezekiel is shakily trying to maintain his balance while walking across it as Geoff and the canoe fall behind him. Bridgette lands in his arms, and they blush and smile at each other, before the log snaps, sending them falling too.)

"Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won."

(Sadie is leaning on the confessional, watching the whole thing unfold, but it tips and falls, knocking Katie out of the inside.)

"Everything to prove, nothing in my way."

(Into one of the cabins. DJ, and Justin are talking casually, while Noah runs out of the cabin, holding his nose and with a disgusted look on his face, stink lines trailing off Justin and following Noah.)

"I'll get there one day."

(Into the other side of the cabin. Leshawna is watching Eva lift weights casually. Leshawna looks scared.)

"Cuz I wanna be…famous!"

(Down to the beach. Trent is sitting on a log playing his guitar, and Beth is clapping.)

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!"

(Pan over to Courtney shouting at Duncan on a platform floating at sea, Duncan is covering his ears and looking annoyed.)

"I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!"

(Suddenly, Chris swoops down between the two in his jetpack, surprising them. Courtney falls off the platform in shock and Duncan laughs. Chris flies up to the camera, winks at it, and flies upwards. The flames from his jetpack provide transition to the next scene. Bridgette and Ezekiel sit in front of the fire, Zeke looks at Dawn lovingly, and she's looking at him in the same way.)

"I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!"

(Chris lands behind the two, causing them to look shocked. Zoom out to reveal all 21 contestants around the fire, and the season's logo.)

Chris McLean stood on the dock outside a large island. He was leaning on a sign that read, "Camp Remanier" and sipping out of a coconut. Chris flashed the dazzling smile that had gotten him his job, then threw his coconut in the water. "Greetings, Total Drama Fam, and welcome to season 6 of our show! In the past 5 seasons we've been through a lot together. Lots of gimmicks thought up by the producers to bring in some views! But that all is about to change! We've decided to go back to our roots!"

The camera zoomed out and revealed that the island that Chris was standing in front of looked exactly like Camp Wawanakwa, the original home for the Total Drama series. Like, down to the one thousand foot cliff, the outhouse confessional, everything was exactly the same. The only changes were that the crappy old cabins had been replaced with large, spiffy, brand new wood cabins. "As you can see," said Chris, "We're back where it all began! Camp Wawanakwa! Well, sort of. You see, Camp Wawanakwa kind of sank into the lake a season ago. BUT, lucky for us, we did some scouting and found a island that looked exactly like it! Lucky us! This place is called 'Camp Remanier!' French for 'rehash'." Chris winked at the camera. "And looking at how similar this place looked to Camp Wawanakwa, the producers got nostalgic for season 1! So they thought, 'why not bring back the contestants from season one?' I thought it was great idea. Several of our favorite couples have grown apart because of stuff like college, so I can one hundred percent guarantee you that we're in for some incredibly awkward reunions!" Chris' teeth gleamed in the sunlight. "This is gonna be a fun season! Our contestants should be arriving any second! Actually, I think I see the first boat, bringing our first contestant!"

Sure enough, a small, sleek cruiser, the same one that had brought our favorite contestants to the island in season one, pulled up to the docks and its only passenger, a tall, skinny, incredibly muscular young man wearing a cowboy hat on top of messy long blonde hair staggered out of it. His only other articles of clothing were a pink sleeveless muscle shirt, a grass skirt, and sandals. Geoff had arrived. "Geoff! What up, man!" cried Chris. Geoff staggered around, very nearly falling into the water three times, before finally coming to a rest leaning against Chris. "Heymanwassup?" said Geoff in very slurred speech. "Did you come right from college Geoff?" chuckled Chris. "Sure did!" said Geoff. Just then, he turned and looked straight in the camera. "Shoutout to my Omega Kappa Bros!" he shouted. "And to my side bitches, I'll give you all your shares of the moolah once I wi-" Chris shoved him to the ground, "Great to have you, Geoff. Go over there."

Chris then turned around. "Oh look, our next camper has arrived!" Another boat pulled up to the dock, and out stepped a tall, muscular woman in an orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs, escorted by two burly men. She wore a large, uncomfortable looking shock collar around her neck. "Eva! What's up?" said a confused Chris. "I got arrested after I cut a bitch," said Eva. "Oh," said Chris. "She deserved it! She stole my MyPad!" shouted Eva. "Officers, I got this," said Chris. "You guys can leave. The officers nodded. One of them unlocked Eva's handcuffs while the other threw Chris what appeared to be a remote control. "That's the control to her shock collar. She makes one wrong move, push that button." With that, the officers stepped into the boat, and it took off. "Oooh, this is gonna be fun," said Chris, rubbing his hands together and grinning maniacally.

"A-hem," said a female voice. "Hasn't anyone noticed that I'm here?" Chris turned around, and his jaw practically hit the ground. Lindsay had always been hot before, but Chris almost got a little soggy down there just looking at her now. I mean sure, before, she had nice, big, perky tits and a slappable ass, but now, good lord. Her tits were Kate Upton sized, if not bigger, and each ass cheek was about the size of a fucking globe. Not to mention, she looked hot, not even wearing any mascara. Chris looked back, and Geoff was drooling too. "He-hey Linds," said Geoff. "Hey, Geoffy!" winked Lindsay. "Lindsay, you seem-" Chris began. "Smarter? Yeah, I know. I was the first volunteer for an experiment some hotshot scientists were conducting to restore IQ points. I've now got a nice 29.5% IQ!" "That's still below average," muttered Eva under her breath. "Anyways, I should get out the way so the next contestant can get here!" With that, Lindsay strutted over to where Geoff and Eva were standing, Chris's eyes following her asscheeks while they bobbed up and down.

"Dude." said the next contestant. "Did-did you just see that?" "I sure did, Cody, I sure did. Hey! It's Cody everyone!" Chris shook hands with the formerly skinny and short boy, who was now considerably taller, more muscular, and more handsome. He wore a baggy tan sweatshirt and black jeans. "Welcome back, Cody!" "Uh, thanks Chris." And with that, Cody walked over to where the other contestants were standing, his eyes glued to Lindsay's tits, the blonde completely oblivious. Eva and Geoff were oblivious too, as the three were all awestruck at the next arrival. "Is that who I think it is?" said Eva. "I think it is!" said Geoff, before hiccuping. "It can't be, That's too skinny to be him!" said Lindsay.

"Oh, but it is him!" said Chris. "Owen my man, what's up?!" A short, skinny, but incredibly buff young man walked onto the dock. "Hey Chris," he said in an incredibly deep voice. "How's it going? Great to be back!" "I've gotta be honest Owen, I almost didn't recognize you at first! But your maple leaf shirt gave it away!" "Oh, yeah," said Owen, "I kind of realized I was getting too fat when the guys at my school started using me as a secret weapon for dodgeball. So, I started going to the gym for eight hours every day and pumping iron! Now, I've got this awesome bod!" "Noice!" said Chris. "Go over there with your fellow campers!" "Oh my gosh!" said Owen. He run over and gave all his assembled campers a giant bear hug. "It's so great to see you guys! What has it been, three years?"

"Four, actually," said a bossy voice. A certain tall dark skinned CIT stepped onto the dock. "Courtney, everyone!" announced Chris. "Courtney, have you changed at all?" "Nope! I've maintained my perfect physique and not changed a thing about myself during the four years this show's been off the air! Unlike some people," she said, glancing pointedly at Owen and Geoff and turning her nose up snootily. "Well ain't that special," deadpanned Chris, and he shoved her over to the area with the other competitors.

Before Chris could open his mouth, the sound of AC/DC's "Shoot To Thrill" filled the air, as the next boat pulled up. As Brian Johnson shrieked "'Cuz I shoot to thrill and I'm ready to kill, I can't get enough and I can't get my fill..Shoot to thrill, play to kill!", a tall skinny man with a full mustache and beard jumped out of the boat carrying a boombox. When he landed on the dock, he flipped it off. His familiar green mohawk was gone, but his piercings were still intact. Duncan had arrived. "Duncan! What up man? What did you do to your mohawk?" "It was going out of style, my friend!" said Duncan. "Gotta stay up to date on what's cool and what's not!" "And how did you get out of prison?" "Good behavior." "I FIND THAT QUITE HARD TO BELIEVE!" shouted Courtney. "So, you got rid of the mohawk and went for the axe murderer look instead?" "Oh, hey, look, it's little miss sunshine!" sneered Duncan. As he walked over to the other contestants' area, he shoved Courtney into the water. "Hey Geoff. Heard your frat got arrested for rape and bunch of other stuff. Sucks you didn't get locked up in the same prison as me, I coulda requested you as a cellmate." Geoff shrugged nonchalantly, and Duncan continued down the line. "Eva, love the collar. Lindsay, nice tits. Cody, I like the hoodie. Looks like you just broke out of prison and threw that on as a disguise. Owen, can't say I like your new look, but I CAN say I love it!" "D'aww!" said Owen, and he grabbed Duncan in a bear hug. "Even your bearhugs are still awesome," winced Duncan.

Chris turned as the next boat roared up. A tall skinny Asian girl stepped out of it. She wore sunglasses, a nice business suit, and was talking on the phone. "Hey Heather! What's going-" Heather held up her finger, as if to gesture, 'one second.' "No, I don't care if they have video evidence of it," she said into her phone, "I want him to be found innocent, understood? I'll pay you whatever money you want for that to happen, just make it happen." "Uh, Heather, everybody!" said Chris, and Heather walked over to where everyone else was standing.

"Hey Chris man!" said the next contestant. DJ was carrying his bags, and, strangely enough, wore wire-rimmed glasses. "Hey, Deej! You look, uh, different!" "Yeah, I know," said DJ. "Doc said I was spending too much time studying the online textbook on my MyPhone, and my eyes got damaged, so I need these stupid things!" "That's all right, man, just go over there!" said Chris, patting the gentle giant on the back.

Just as DJ moved out of the way, the next boat roared up. Out of it stepped a tall, tan, muscular teen wearing a green sweatshirt and a beanie. He was clean shaven and had incredibly short hair. Chris sighed when he introduced him. "Ezekiel, everyone. Welcome back," he said, totally monotone. "Thanks Chris!" smiled Ezekiel in a show of genuine friendliness. "You know, ever since the doctors injected me with that drug that fixed me up from being that weird feral thing, I've started looking at life a totally different way, eh?" "Well that's," Chris yawned in the middle of his sentence, "very interesting, but we don't have all day. Head on over there, Freak Zeke." Ezekiel did so without protest, and the next boat pulled up.

Out of the boat stepped a sweaty, handsome man wearing a blue tracksuit. "Sorry I'm so tired man, I was running my daily 300 laps in preparation for the Olympics, and missed my boat. I had to swim halfway across the lake to catch up to it."

"That's perfectly alright, Tyler," said Chris, "We're just glad to have you! Hey, the old couple is back!" Chris pushed Tyler over to Lindsay. "Um, hi, Linds." said Tyler. "Hi, Tyler," said Lindsay. "Wow, the awkwardness is so thick you could cut it with a friggin' knife," said Duncan. "Yeah, since Tyler and Lindsay went off to different colleges all the way across the country, they had to break off their relationship! Maybe they'll be able to rekindle it?" "I, uh, have a boyfriend," said Lindsay, clearing her throat.

"Hey, that's my line!" came a shout from the distance. Chris looked out and saw a girl surfboarding towards the dock. She jumped up, made a flip, and landed perfectly on the dock. "Hey, it's Bridgette!" said Chris, "Now we've got two couples reunited!" "Not exactly," said Bridgette angrily. "What?" said Chris. "What happened between you and Geoff?" "Oh God, not this again," said Geoff, face palming. "YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THAT BITCH MADISON WALKER!" shouted Bridgette. "NO I DIDN'T! I JUST GOT DRUNK AND MADE OUT WITH HER! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING BABE!" retorted Geoff. "NOT TO MENTION YOU ALSO RAPED BREE JOHNSON!" "COME ON MAN, DON'T PULL THAT ON ME, THAT WAS LIKE TWO MOTNHS AGO!" shouted Geoff. "AND BESIDES, THE UNIVERSITY PAID OUR BAIL!" "You shoulda stayed in prison, you animal," said Bridgette bitterly. "While this is very, VERY entertaining, our next competitor has arrived!" Chris pushed Geoff and Bridgette aside to make room for…

"Beth!" "Hey Chris!" Beth wore an official looking uniform and sunglasses. "So, I understand you work for the government now?" "I do indeed! I'm an analyst, but they let me have this month off, since they know how much this show means to me!" "How nice of them," drawled Chris.

Just then, the next boat pulled up, but strangely enough, nobody came out. "Uh, did they forget to pick our next camper up?" asked Chris. From inside the boat, however, there came shouting. "You can't make me go out there! Unhand me! Hey!" And with that, Gwen was unceremoniously chucked out of the boat, onto the dock. "Dick!" said Gwen, brushing herself off. "It's Gwen everyone!" "Yeah, hi and stuff," muttered Gwen. She looked very different. She wasn't wearing any makeup or anything goth at all for that matter, and instead had a nice dress and jewelry on. Gwen had become a model during the time in between seasons, and her bosses didn't like the goth look. "Uh, Gwen, I thought you hated the model look," said Chris. "So did I, but I had to help my mom pay for my little brother's surgery somehow."

"Wow," said a voice from behind her. "Girl, you be hogging my spotlight!" Gwen turned around, and promptly gave Leshawna a big hug. "Hey, how do you think you did on that final in Mr. Anders' class?" she asked. "I think the better question is, does it matter?" quipped Leshawna. She and Gwen broke into roaring laughter. Both of them attended Alexander A. Murray College, and, in fact, the two were even a part of the same sorority. Leshawna had mostly not changed her appearance, and the only difference was that instead of kumquats, her shirt now bore apples. "Yeah, yeah, we're not here for school, we're here for a reality show!" shouted Chris, gesturing the two over to where the other competitors were standing. Duncan waved. "Hey Gwen!" Gwen rolled her eyes and she and Leshawna walked over, but not before Leshawna sized up Chris. "Mph, same arrogant know-it-all as always!"

"Hey!" said Chris. "I will not let you talk about Noah that way. Sure enough, Noah had arrived on the island. He had ditched his "schoolboy" attire he was so well known for and instead was now wearing a beanie and a sweater. He was carrying a mocha in one hand and had one earbud in his ear. "Oh dear god," said Bridgette, "He's turned into a hipster!"

"I was a hipster before it was cool," said Noah. As he walked over to where the other contestants were standing, Heather tripped him, and he fell into the water. Everyone stared at her. "What? Just because I'm a lawyer doesn't mean I can't have a LITTLE fun, right?"

"GOSH!" came a voice. Harold stepped onto the dock. The only thing that had changed about him was that his soul patch had grown into a full on goatee. A very silly looking goatee. All the contestants busted up laughing. "What is it you guys?" asked an oblivious Harold. In between laughs, Geoff got out, "It looks like someone taped some pubes to your face!" "That's so nasty Geoff, GAWSH!" shouted Harold as he walked over and stood with his peers.

"Speaking of nasty," said Beth, making a disgusted face at the contestant who had just arrived. Everybody turned to look at him, and agreed with Beth's statement. Justin was not the pretty boy he once was. He had acne all over his face, greasy hair all over his body, and he stank like a dumpster. "Dear lord!" shouted Chris, pulling a gas mask seemingly out of nowhere and slipping it on. "What?" said Justin. "I'm not that bad, am I?" "Of course not," deadpanned Chris. "Why don't you go sit…up there?" he said, pointing to a branch near the top of a large tree. Justin sighed, and headed off towards the tree.

When Justin had reached the branch, Chris removed his gas mask. "That was terrifying," he said. "But you know what's even more terrifying? Our next contestant, Izzy!" Just then, a UFO flew out of the sky, and its bottom opened up. A beam of light came down and deposited Izzy on the dock. "Thanks, honey!" she shouted up to the UFO as it flew away. "Crazy as always, it's great to have you back here!" said Chris. Izzy backflipped over to where the other contestants were standing, accidentally kicking DJ in the face an almost knocking off his glasses. "DUDE! BE CAREFUL! THESE ARE $200 GLASSES!" "Sorr-ry!" drawled Izzy.

A loud, annoying "EEEEEE!" was heard, and Katie and Sadie ran from their boat to the dock. "Hi everyone!" they said together. "We're so excited to be back!" "Oh god no," said Duncan. "Not these two." "Katie and Sadie, for those of you who don't know, have recently gone through the same test Lindsay went through. Unfortunately, the test failed, but the two's brains were basically connected. If Katie is thinking something, Sadie is thinking that same thing and vice versa! They're even more inseparable than they were before." "Wonderful, eh," said Ezekiel, rolling his eyes.

"And last but not least, our final competitor, Trent!" said Chris, as the last boat pulled up, depositing the handsome musician. "Hey Chris! I had to take a couple days off my concert tour for this, but I think it'll be worth it!" Trent wore a flashy pink and yellow jumpsuit and large, horn-rimmed glasses.

"Well, said Chris," now that everyone's here, let me show you some of the new and old features of this season! Except for you Justin, you stay up in that tree!"

The camera cut to a different angle, as Chris walked everyone past the outhouse confessional. Everyone knew the drill by now. "Now, here," he said, pointing to the two large wood cabins, "are your cabins! We had these babies built just for this new season! Both of these cabins are the exact same, no different. One for each team, you know the drill, blah blah blah." Chris then led the contestants to the dining hall. "Your 'gourmet' food this season will once again be prepared…by Chef!" "Hey Chris-Man!" called Chef, in the middle of cutting up a dead rat. "Here's your breakfast tomorrow, suckers, heheheh." cackled Chef, causing all the contestants to cringe. Chris led the campers to the campfire circle. "This procedure will be the exact same as season one. Marshmallows, voting, Boat of Losers, never come back, blah blah blah." Ezekiel raised his hand. "Do we still get to go to a five-star resort when we're eliminated, eh?" "Yes! The Boat will take you to Playa Des Losers Dos, our exact recreation of Playa Des Losers, after I turned the first one into my cottage, and then SOMEONE BLEW IT UP!" he screamed. Duncan coughed. "Any immunity idols this season?" asked Heather. "Nope, you're on your own this time!" chuckled Chris.

"So, everything this season may seem like a rehash of season one. And you're right, it pretty much is. But this season's challenges are gonna be the biggest, most dangerous, most brutal challenges this show has ever seen!" said Chris in a deep voice. "That's what you say every season," sniffed Beth. "BUT I'M FOR REALLY REALZ THIS TIME!" Everyone gasped in horror.