A Butterfly Effect
Summary: In which Ron Weasley doesn't remember the House Elves at the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry isn't too distracted to ask one more thing of Hermione, and these small differences change everything. AU after the Battle of Hogwarts.
HG/FW, HP/GW, RW/?, others to be added later.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, all are owned by JKR.
Chapter 2: Laid to Rest
Hermione smoothed the skirt of the black dress she'd chosen to wear, sighing at her trembling hands.
She'd said goodbye so many times in the past week, she should be used to it by now. But this was different, this was Remus Lupin, her kind and gentle former Professor, one who'd never belittled or embarrassed her because of her thirst for knowledge. And Tonks, who'd always been so cheerful and vibrant and optimistic. It was harder, so much harder to say goodbye to these two than the other Order members she hadn't known as well.
She also had Harry to consider, though she did have Ron and Ginny to help her with that. Harry was both parts relieved at the destruction of Voldemort, and overcome with grief at the heavy cost they'd all paid for his death. Harry hadn't spoken much about what happened in the forest, only telling Ron and Hermione that he'd been a Horcrux, and it was the piece of Voldemort's soul that tethered him to the world when Voldemort had killed him, that gave him a chance to come back and finish the job. It was almost ironic, Hermione had mused, that Voldemort had set into motion his own destruction, all those years ago.
That's not to say Hermione hadn't shed her own angry tears when Harry told her that Dumbledore had known, or at least suspected, for some time that Harry had carried a piece of Voldemort within him. Though Harry seemed to have made his peace with Dumbledore, Hermione was having a harder time forgiving her dead Headmaster for keeping this vital piece of information from her friend. Harry surviving was, in truth, a miracle; something so far-fetched that she knew Dumbledore couldn't have, for all his wisdom, had more than a hope that Harry would somehow do so. Though, she tried to be fair and admit that when dealing with prophecies, logic typically went out the window.
No, all things considered, Harry seemed to be focusing more on the present and future than the past, and for that Hermione was grateful. Grief was a monster all its own, she knew, but it could be moved on from; it would be infinitely harder for Harry to heal if he kept imagining what he could have done differently. It wouldn't do for Harry to lose himself in an endless stream of 'what-if' scenarios. Despite the losses, they'd made it out all right.
She glanced at herself in Ginny's mirror before heading downstairs, to where she knew they would all be meeting before Flooing to Godric's Hollow.
Harry had insisted that Tonks and Remus be buried in the Black family lot; as Head of the family, he could make such decisions. Since Sirius hadn't been able to have a proper burial (as there was no body to recover from the veil), today would also be a memorial service for him. Hermione thought Sirius and Remus would like that, being laid to rest together, with James in the Potter lot only a few steps away.
The three Marauders would be reunited, she thought with a sniff.
There would then be a gathering at Andromeda's house, of friends and family. Mrs. Weasley had been cooking for the past two days for it, and Hermione had been helping, desperate to occupy her time before the funeral with something…
Hermione arrived in the kitchen to find Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sipping on tea quietly, Harry staring out the window with Ginny at his side, and Fred sitting at the table, his cane next to him.
Looking at Fred's cane always put Hermione through a cycle of sadness, relief, and exasperation. Sadness because someone as young and mobile as Fred didn't deserve to lose his ability to walk easily on his own, relief because she knew that it could've been much worse, and exasperation because the cane, which was now charmed to change color each time it hit the ground and emit sparks on occasion, was so hugely Fred that it made her want to laugh and roll her eyes all at once.
Trust a Weasley twin to turn a walking cane into a fashion statement. Unlike in her school days, where their flamboyance and extravagance had annoyed her, Hermione was infinitely glad for it now. Laughter, she knew, was necessary to the healing process they were all going through.
"Oh, Hermione dear, help yourself to some tea!" Mrs. Weasley noticed her standing by the staircase and waved her further into the kitchen. Hermione smiled.
"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley." She moved about the kitchen, getting herself a cup and pouring out the tea before sitting at the table, ending up across from Fred. Ginny and Harry joined them at the table soon after.
"Where's Ron?" She asked, moving over to make room.
Harry shrugged, "Showering, I'd expect. He overslept." They shared a smile.
"Typical." Ron had, during their stay in the tent, been the one most likely to oversleep and forget to wake up when it was his turn at guard duty.
"Where's George?" Ginny then asked Fred.
Fred grinned, "Picking up Angelina." He gave a wink that hardly seemed appropriate for right before a funeral, but Hermione supposed that Weasley twins were hardly appropriate about anything.
Harry managed another smile, "It'll be good to see her. It's good of her to come."
"Remus was a very popular professor, Harry." Hermione said gently. Harry nodded, his eyes a bit pained.
"He was the best DADA professor we ever had." Harry said passionately, and Hermione had to agree.
"Also a bloody brilliant prankster in his day, right, Harry?" Fred's eyes glinted, and Hermione smiled. She still had a hard time reconciling Remus-her-professor with what she knew of Remus-the-Marauder, from stories that Sirius had told during their summer at Grimmauld Place. Maybe Tonks had been able to bring a small part of that Remus back while they were together. Hermione hoped so.
Her eyes slid over to her best friend as she thought of Remus, and then Sirius, and then James Potter, and she thought again about how Harry had lost so much in one man's quest for power. Her eyes moved over to Ginny, and then down to their clasped hands, and she realized that he had gained some things, too.
It was better to dwell on things gained, rather than what had been lost.
She looked over at Fred and his cane.
It was good to focus on what had almost been lost, too.
Ginny sat by Harry who sat by Hermione who sat by Ron, and even though Hermione promised herself she wouldn't cry, she did. Ron's hand found her and she grasped it tightly.
The ceremony was beautiful. Andromeda spoke about her daughter, Kingsley toasted both Remus and Tonks, and Harry was able to speak about his father's friend, his voice trembling only slightly.
Harry was too young to be giving these speeches. Sometimes Hermione forget they were all only barely adults. She felt so old.
The end of the ceremony was marked by a surprisingly tasteful explosion of fireworks. Though Mrs. Weasley seemed mortified, the trio looked between themselves and smiled.
It was precisely what Sirius, Remus, and Tonks would've wanted.
The dinner at Andromeda's was a small, close-knit affair, reminiscent of a dinner at the Burrow, to be honest. Hermione had a feeling, looking at Andromeda and Molly talking, that they'd be seeing a lot more of Andromeda at the Burrow in the near future. It was understandable—she had lost her husband, daughter, and son-in-law. Hermione frowned as she thought of how lonely Andromeda must feel.
Harry's laugh broke her out of her reverie; and she glanced over to see her friend with Teddy on his lap, changing his hair to various colors before settling on a bright purple. Barely a month old, Hermione guessed that Teddy had no idea he was actually changing anything about himself. She smiled despite herself. She was glad that Harry had Teddy to visit and become close with, and gladder still that Teddy would grow up safely, knowing about his incredibly brave parents.
Ron came to sit by her then, and as she was drawn into conversation she felt a calmness that she hadn't felt since the parade of funerals had started a week ago.
Things would be all right. There was, after all, only one more service to get through.
Ron had decided not to come. Hermione tried so hard not to be disappointed in him, told herself that Ron couldn't let go of a grudge, that it was just who he was and she loved him for who he was, and if she truly loved him for all that he was (and all that he wasn't) then it wasn't fair for her to be angry about something that was so characteristic of Ron.
But being in a room that could hold so many people (but actually held so few) with Harry next to her as McGonagall gave a small speech, it was hard to not think that Ron was being immature by not coming to Snape's memorial.
Snape was a bitter, petty, twisted man who'd made their school years more unpleasant with his presence than they would've been otherwise, she would never try to deny that. And she could never begrudge Ron for disliking Snape, even now, because she wasn't quite sure what her feelings for the Potions Master were either. The certainly weren't fond, but at the same time…
Snape was the sort of character Hermione had always rooted for in the novels she'd read growing up. The type who had made so many mistakes and tried to right them; she was a sucker for a redeemed character, they always made reaffirmed her belief that it was always worth it to try and be a better person, that effort and perseverance and growth would be rewarded or acknowledged.
Snape had certainly started out a sinner, and he surely hadn't turned into a saint, but he had tried, in his own way. And the fact that he did it so quietly made Hermione feel immeasurably sorry for him; it must have been so, so lonely to be so misunderstood. And loneliness was something Hermione Granger could empathize with even if Snape's other choices were not.
And even if Hermione hadn't wanted to pay her respect to the unsung hero of the Second Wizarding War, she would've come anyway to help Harry find closure with his childhood tormentor turned ally.
Harry was speaking to her now, "I still can't believe… everything he did, he did for my Mum."
Hermione smiled, "He must have loved her very much."
"I think… I think he loved her nearly his entire life." Harry paused, "He loved her enough to protect the son of a man he hated."
"Who was also the son of the woman he loved." Hermione reminded him gently. "Love does powerful things."
As if Harry needed reminded of that. If it weren't for love, he wouldn't be standing here right now.
"It's hard to blame him for being so awful, knowing everything now." Harry admitted.
Hermione nodded, "I know what you mean. He was unfair and horrible to all of us, especially you, but knowing what he'd gone through, what he'd lost… even what he'd never had… it would harden anyone, I think."
Harry grimaced, "I think my Mum could've loved him, you know. If he hadn't… gone the way he did."
Hermione leaned her head against Harry's shoulder, "I'd imagine that made him feel even worse. It's one thing to know you never had a chance at something, it's another entirely to know you lost your chance at it on your own accord."
Yes, Hermione was sure that while she wasn't particularly fond of Severus Snape, the person, if he were a character in one of her books, he would be one of her favorites.
McGonagall stopped by the Burrow about a week later, asking to speak with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.
"Miss Weasley," McGonagall began, "I simply wanted to give you your Hogwarts letter in person. You are returning in the fall, correct?" Ginny nodded; there was no way her parents would let her skip out a la Fred and George.
McGonagall turned to the trio, "Anyone who was barred or… otherwise unable to complete their 7th year is being given the option to either return to Hogwarts this September, or to self-study through the year and sit their NEWTs at Hogwarts in the spring with the rest of the class. I wanted to let you know, since we would like to have a head count of how many extra students we'll be having fairly soon."
They all glanced at each other, unsure of what to say.
"You don't need to decide now, you may owl me as soon as you know." McGonagall smiled, "Though, Hogwarts would be happy to have you all back." She said goodbye soon after and left.
Harry spoke first, "What do you guys think?"
Hermione responded carefully, "It would be nice in a way."
Harry nodded, "Yeah. It'd be good to have one relaxing school year, right?" He blushed, "And, well, with Ginny…" He glanced at Ron warily.
Ron seemed reluctant, "It would be strange, though, after this past year."
Neither Harry nor Hermione could disagree with that.
"It'd be hard, too, after… what happened." Harry swallowed, and Hermione squeezed his hand. While she was almost certain she wanted to go back to Hogwarts, she couldn't blame Harry in the least for not wanting to relive his memories of that night. His memories were worse than most.
"If you don't want to go back, Harry, you shouldn't." Hermione said gently.
"But you're going back, aren't you?" Harry's expression seemed pained, and Hermione thought she understood why. If Harry didn't go back, and Hermione did, regardless of where Ron went, their group would be split up for the first time in almost 8 years.
"I think so. I think I'd enjoy it, academia has always been more my thing than either of yours." She teased. "What about you, Ron?"
Ron shrugged, "Don't really see the point, to be honest."
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Honestly, Ronald, it's quite nice that Hogwarts is offering the option, considering many people wouldn't have the patience or discipline for self-study." She paused, "I think I'd rather like to officially end my Hogwarts career."
Ron snapped back, "You think it'd be nice to be Head Girl, you mean."
Hermione felt anger wash over her, "Don't be ridiculous! It would be extremely unfair for me to take that opportunity away from someone in Ginny's year!"
Honestly, after everything they'd been through over the past year, did Ron still see her as the grubby little know-it-all, the annoying show-off she'd been as a child? The idea that he thought so little of her hurt, a lot.
Harry sighed, "Cut it out, guys."
Hermione pursed her lips but didn't say anything.
"So, what d'you think, Harry? Wanna skive off 7th year with me?" Ron grinned, and Hermione had the sudden urge to send another flock of birds at his face.
"Harry, if you don't feel like going back, I'd be willing to help you revise for NEWTs in any way I can, you know." Hermione said to him instead. Ron snorted next to her but she ignored it.
Harry sighed, "I guess I just want quiet, you know? Part of me feels like with all of this Chosen One nonsense, I sort of just want to hole up in Grimmauld Place for a few months til everyone forgets about me again."
Hermione sighed, "Harry, I don't know that you're ever going to be completely forgotten… but maybe taking a few months away would be good for you." She shrugged, "You deserve some time to be Harry, not The-Boy-Who-Lived."
Harry smiled, "Besides, we could always sneak into the castle and visit you and Ginny!"
At this, Ron scowled, "Mate, there better not be too many secret visits with my sister!"
Harry looked appropriately embarrassed and looking between his red face, and Ron's sulking one, Hermione couldn't help but laugh, and soon enough they were all laughing, all arguments between them forgotten.
And that's the end of Chapter 2! I feel like there's a lot of exposition, but I really want to make the Fremione as organic and believable as possible, and so I need to undo the Romione first (and I am trying to do that with little to no Ron-bashing). Until then, I am just enjoying writing about Hermione's thoughts after the war, and I hope you are all enjoying it too, but I do promise that eventually things will get much more lighthearted, etc!
In any case, thank you so much to the following reviewers: Roxane, remuslives, pleurocoelus, The Good Child, Ilgary, Legolas' Girl 13, Iolana! And thank you to everyone who favorite/alerted!
Next up: the rest of Hermione's summer in chapter 3, and then the entirety of her 7th year in chapter 4!
Thanks, please let me know what you think!
-AJ