Restless

Chapter Two – the Painting

Word Count: 5,540

Updated: 21/01/2019

-0-

"You live by yourself? Alone?"

"Yes, it's just me"

"You don't grow lonely at all?"

"Not really, most of the time I really don't mind"

"You enjoy being by yourself?"

"I don't mind, not really. When I am home I'm either reading a book or working on another painting, I like to do both in silence so it's really probably for the best"

"You paint?" Godric asked "I am sure your work is very good"

"No, well, I don't think I should be the one to cast the final judgment" Louisa replied with a small laugh "It's just a hobby – something I do to waste time"

"I'm sure you're just being modest," he smiled kindly "What kind of books do you read?"

As Louisa looked at Godric and his kind face she simply couldn't pass up the opportunity – it was too good "I am quite a fan of the Twilight series, have you heard of it?" she asked, and she had been right; the look on his face was worth it. Beside her, Godric was trying incredibly hard not to frown and he was so far unsuccessful. She had indeed read the four books, but they were far, far from being even close to a favourite. It was not often that she was sarcastic, but his expression was worth every second. Her laughter could not be held in and before she knew it she was laughing so loudly it echoed the otherwise empty street.

"You were joking?" he asked

"I jest," she laughed "I am so sorry, but I couldn't help myself. Though it wasn't a complete lie, I have read the books, but I did not like them. Bam Stroker's Dracula is a work of art and one of my favourite books to the day, along with Frankenstein and the Picture of Dorian Grey. I will read any work by the Brothers Grimm or William Shakespeare and I can't forget Anna Karenina – one of the best books I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I'm also quite fond of Stephen King"

"I read Anna Karenina when it was first published; though it has been a long time since then. I'm sure the translations are very much the same"

"You speak Russian?" she asked

"I speak several different languages" he replied with a nod of his head

"Isn't it hard to learn? I've always wanted to learn a different language, but it seems so difficult, every time I start I tend to give up – a bad habit of mine I think" she frowned.

"I've had a lot of spare time on my hands," he said softly and once again she watched as his face fell. Every time they spoke about his life as a Vampire he grew visibly uncomfortable and she couldn't help but wonder why. Surely the past two thousand years had some upsides?

"You never look too pleased to talk about your life as a Vampire," she said softly, almost cautiously. A few weeks ago, she would not have dared to make a comment so bold and personal but since the incident that had occurred just a little over a month ago in the middle of February, his weekly visits had increased. Every night he happened to stop by the Diner he walked her home, some evenings he would arrive just before she closed the shop and others he would take his synthetic blood and sit at his table heading into 11 o'clock. When they walked they would talk about simple things and complex things, about the world and politics or art and culture. The questions covered various topics but every time they would even hint at touching Vampires she would usually change the subject, until now.

He sighed "What is there to say? I am a two-thousand-year-old Vampire and I have done terrible things, unforgivable things in my lifetime. It is – it's as if they are all starting to catch up to me"

When he was finished it took her a moment to take it all in because deep down she knew that what he had just told her was the most honest thing he had said to her so far. To understand what he was feeling was something she knew that she would never be able to accomplish, not anytime soon. Even just the thought of saying something to make him feel better made her feel a bit anxious – because what could she say? She knew nothing of his past or the sins that he committed.

"I don't really know what to say to that, because nothing I can say is going to make you feel better. I don't even think I would know where to begin. Godric, you can't change any of the things that you have done in your past, but you can try to make up for them," she paused "Who you are now is what really matters"

Godric didn't respond to her words and as time went on she grew even more anxious. She had said something wrong, she just knew it. Why had she even spoken at all? She should have just changed the conversation like she always did. Foolish.

"You did not sound like a fool Louisa"

"I said that out loud?" she groaned

"Yes. Louisa, you are one of the most interesting humans I have ever encountered, far from foolish I daresay"

Words failed her. A two-thousand-year-old Vampire that has met hundreds – no, thousands of humans thought that she was interesting. It was a very high compliment.

"You think so lowly of yourself Louisa" Godric sighed from beside her.

"Well, I could say the same about you, can't I?" she responded with a laugh.

They'd reached her apartment doors now and she was disappointed their chat was going to be cut short.

"I guess you're right" he grinned, "Alas, this is where I leave you. Goodnight little one"

Little One. She liked it.

As soon as she had locked her door behind her and changed into a pair of baggy tracksuit pants and a white singlet, the nickname that Godric had given her was far from her mind. Instead, her thoughts were on a single white envelope sitting on one of her kitchen counters. It stared up at her from across the room, practically screaming at her for attention. When she finally did the familiar handwriting made her heartache, but with a single finger she ripped open the seal and retrieved what was inside.

Louisa

I do not know if you have moved or if you are still receiving any of my letters, but I thought I would write again just in case you are. Next week it will be Julian's one-year anniversary. I wish I had the words to explain myself to you, but I don't, I still don't. I wish none of it ever happened. I hope you're doing well. I don't expect to ever hear from you, not after everything I've done but if you ever need anything all you have to do is say the words. I have placed another cheque inside the envelope. I hope you are doing well.

Michael

Next week. She knew then that she'd left the letter too long; the day after tomorrow would be the anniversary. Time had flown.

Her father's handwriting was always so neat and there was once a time where she had been so jealous, her own writing was large and bulky which always took up more space than she needed it to. When she finished re-reading it for the third time she scrunched it into a ball and aimed poorly for the bin, it missed by a number of feet. After the first five letters her father had stopped apologizing, she assumed he had finally realized that a simple sorry wasn't going to get him anywhere anytime soon. The cheques, on the other hand, are what kept her afloat even though she felt guilty every time she took them. Afloat or not she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. As she relaxed into the couch she stared at the painting of Julian that was sitting on the second-hand easel in front of her, with his messy hair that never sat neatly atop his head and the ears that were just far too big for his head. His lopsided smile had been her challenge but, in the end, she had nailed it along with his hazel eyes that never held a single worry.

He had been so, so happy simply sitting in his room and playing video games for as long as he was allowed to before bedtime, and even though it was nearly all that he did he was still so well behaved. Homework was always done on time and to the best of his abilities, chores were always completed as soon as they were set. His lifestyle and habits were something she knew that he had picked up from her. Julian was here entire world, he meant absolutely everything and now he was nothing.

Louisa took the completed painting and placed it on top of the small table that sat against her wall, once she knew it would not fall she then reached behind her couch and withdrew the last blank canvas she had. It was larger than the one she had completed earlier this morning and it would be perfect for what she had in mind. After fetching some clean brush-water and preparing the colours that she would need she began. Eyes were first and with slow and precise strokes she outlined four pairs and just like this morning she worked without the use of a photo, though even if she did need one it wouldn't matter seeing as she had left them all behind when she had skipped town. Painting did not make her loss any easier, but it did not make it harder either, it reminded her of the loss and at the same time, it helped her cope in a way that she still did not understand. Her small paintbrush glided onto the canvas as she worked into the early morning and even though it was a lengthy process after hours of work a detailed picture soon made its way upon the canvas. Time truly meant nothing; she did not feel the seconds pass or her tiredness grow. Water paints and colours were truly beautiful to work with. After she had finished adding the small details to the eyes and the brows she worked her way through the shapes of the nose and the quirks of the mouths – adding in his freckles and her full and often chapped lips. As always before working through the hair which always took her more time than the other features she shaded each face with different colours; keeping Julian's to the warm and rich colours of the sun and hers to the dark and cool shades of the moon.

It was a rare occurrence that she would ever draw herself and only ever did so when she had to due for a project in class (usually always portraits) and even then, she had worked as quickly as she could so that she could move onto something else. At the end of the day Louisa did not like looking at herself for long periods of time – what for? Her hair was always thrown into a messy ponytail, braid or bun and she had absolutely no use for makeup. Apart from when she brushed her teeth and washed her face she did not have the use of looking into a mirror. Nonetheless, as she took a moment's break she felt the need to compliment herself at her progress; her large blue eyes were nearly perfectly detailed as was the small dimple in her left cheek. As much as she loved the work she had done on herself her brothers' side was so, so much more and as she stared at his facial features she allowed her mind to wonder. He would have been beautiful once he hit puberty and tall too. Girls loved bright eyes and a cheeky smile, and he would have grown into those ears too. With a shake of her head she began to add the dark shadows that would soon become hair and drew his first, the process did not take long and before she knew it she had already started her own. At first, it looked messy and almost lazy, but soon she began to add lighter shades of brown that complimented the dark, blunt strokes. The colours blended together well and as the clock struck 6:12 am she was in the presence of another beautiful piece of work.

Her clothes were a wet mess, but that didn't matter as it would all come out with a simple wash. Her paint pallet was messy, colours were mixed with colours but that was also an easy fix as well. It was not often that she thought that her work was any good – who in today's world did? But she knew deep down that before she sat the most beautiful piece she had created so far. Unlike most watercolour work these days her colours were quite light and pale, even the darker colours were not that dark. It showed a perfect contrast, her brother in bright colours and herself in cool ones and she was quite glad, not knowing earlier what the outcome would look like or if it would blend at all. The two faces of the painting stared back at her as she allowed herself to grow lost into her own head; they took up the entire space of the canvas and left very little room to add anything to the background.

God, she missed him. All of his freckles and his eyelashes that she had been so envious of, even his sarcasm which used to drive her mad and up the wall. She missed how he would run away from her every single time a new blackhead and blemish would appear because he knew that she would be dying to rid him of them as soon as she saw them. As much as she detested video games she even missed playing those with him. For not the first time she wished that they had been able to trade places, that she had been the one to die and he the one to live.

-0-

Louisa blinked as she was working, once again she was practically alone in Gemma's Diner with only an elderly man sitting at the table closest to the counter and Godric in his usual seat. For the entire day, her brother had been on her mind and she knew that tomorrow it would be even worse. A whole year, he'd been gone from her life for a whole year now.

"You have an enjoyable night young lady," said the elderly customer as she walked past her toward the door "Be safe"

"You too" she murmured, not even bothering to force a smile onto her face as the man made his way towards the exit. Luckily, he did not find her manor rude; she did not think she had the energy to deal with a problematic customer tonight.

Godric's bottle of synthetic blood continued to sit untouched on his table, but even that couldn't take her mind off of her brother for very long. Maybe one day he would tell her why he ordered one every time he came into the diner, maybe one day she would even ask him herself. Today was not that day though, not when he was still so uncomfortable talking about his life. After one last round of cleaning, including disposing of Godric's untouched bottle, Louisa locked Gemma's doors behind her and armed the security. It had been by far the quietest night that they had ever spent together, but it wasn't unpleasant. The silence was welcomed and was in no way uncomfortable, it was nice after a day full of forced chatter to be beside someone you could simply just walk with.

"I feel as if there is a lot on your mind Little One," said Godric, it was the first time they had spoken since he had ordered his blood little under an hour ago.

"It's just been a hard week," she admitted "I'm even taking the day off tomorrow, I organized it a couple of days ago"

"And this is unusual?"

"I have never had a day off before, not even when I was sick a few months back and it's been nearly a year since I started working"

"Did you want to talk about what is troubling you?" he asked

How on Earth was she going to talk about it? She had never done so before not even with Julie or Matt. Instead of talking to her friends she bottled everything up and tried to forget about it instead, and so far, she had been doing a perfectly good job.

"I haven't talked about it, ever to anyone not even with the friends that I work with. I just don't even know where I would begin or what I would even say"

"I have nowhere to be," he said simply "Time, well, that is never an issue for me"

She may have laughed if it was any other old day. Who knows, maybe opening up to someone would do her all the good.

"Are you sure?" she asked, and he nodded in response.

When they arrived outside of her apartment instead of leaving the Vampire on the steps outside she held the glass door open for him and then lead him up the stairs until they reached the fourth floor. She fished the keys out of her pocket and once she unlocked her security door held it open for him too – but after a moment she realized that he was not making a single move towards her and instead was standing as still as a statue.

"If I am not invited inside it is physically impossible, even for a Vampire as old as I am to enter your home" he explained

"Oh," she said "Sorry, I had no idea. Please come in"

"We rarely release such information, especially little details such as that" he grinned

If she had been in a bright mood she may have felt a little embarrassed welcoming him into her home, but she simply didn't.

"I would offer you something to drink but I wasn't really expecting company," she said instead "Sorry Godric"

"No need to apologise" he replied, "Do you mind if I take a seat?"

"Of course not, I won't be a minute – I am just going to change out of my uniform. Please make yourself at home"

Louisa shut her bedroom door tightly behind her and changed quickly into a pair of baggy tracksuit pants and a plain heather grey t-shirt. When she walked back into the main area where Godric was she was surprised, he was on her couch and flipping slowly through the pages of her old art diary that she had used in high school; it was one of the only things she had taken with her when she had left.

"I forgot I left that out," she said

"You were most certainly being modest when we spoke about your art," said Godric rather quietly "You are very talented Louisa"

"Thank you" she blushed, as she always did when someone complimented her.

"Your story?" he questioned when he had finished flipping through all of the pages "If you still felt like talking about it that is"

It may help you. And with that, though she walked towards where she had placed the canvas in a daze before she had left work this morning which was just beside her and against the wall. Without looking at the piece she held she walked over and placed it on the easel once more.

"Very modest indeed" he murmured

"That's Julian" she mumbled as she took a seat "And he died twelve months ago as of tomorrow, he was my little brother and by far the most important and loved person in my entire life. He was always so bright, and even to the most boring people, he was nothing but polite and friendly which is just so rare with kids his age these days. He was only eleven-" she choked, and for a moment she had to stare into the ceiling light so that she would not cry. Not in front of anyone, especially Godric. "When I was not reading or painting and when he was not playing his latest video game or flicking through his comic stash we were together, and I never minded, not at all. We had the best relationship any brother and sister could have had; we were each other's best friend"

"I am truly, truly sorry for your loss. He died too young, far too young" Godric said from beside her in a tone that was able to settle her nerves which she knew she would need for the next part of her story.

It was then that she tore her eyes away from the canvas and smiled sadly at the Vampire beside her "You know my Mother was the most beautiful woman inside and out, just like my brother was. And Dad, he was a good man too – he worked really hard to give us a good life, we were not rich but everything we needed we had. Two years before Julian died, Mum died. A man was texting on his phone behind the wheel of his car and wasn't watching where he was going, she was walking across the crosswalk at the wrong time" she paused and thought back to the day that she had been pulled out of school by her principal and how he had been the one to tell her the horrific news "Dad, he just took it all so hard, he and Mum were high school sweethearts and they had been together since they were sixteen. After the funeral he began drinking, soon after that, he just stopped caring. I took care of not only Julian, made sure he got to school on time and always packed his lunch – actually I made sure everyone was fed seeing as Dad had never been much of a chef. It was like, Mum's role in the house became mine and at the time I didn't care, not really and even though I was missing so much school it didn't really matter to me. Everything got worse when he lost his job, after that it wasn't just alcohol, I'm sure it was drugs as well. He'd abuse us for no reason, would yell and scream so loudly I was always embarrassed that the neighbours' would hear. It always got to me; the little things he would say wormed themselves into my head and made me miserable – but not Julian. I don't know how but he was never upset, not once" She had to take a breather, and even though the worse had yet to be said she felt as if the weight of the world was no longer resting on her shoulders, in a way she felt relieved "It just grew into this mess, this horrible mess, every single night he would scream at me and soon I just didn't recognize my Dad anymore. You know, I preferred it when he would hit me; they were fine compared to some of the things he would say that would tear me apart from the inside out. I took it; night after night I just took it. Makeup helped me loads, it looked awful, but it covered up the busted cheeks and the black eyes and I even grew my hair out so help hide the signs as well. To me, it was all still okay, because he stopped yelling at Julian and that was all that really mattered. Julian noticed of course, but I hid everything perfectly; not once did he ever think that Dad was hitting me"

Godric looked as if he wanted to say something desperately, but he didn't.

"Julian got stuck into things so easily, if he were reading his comic books you would have to physically take it out of his hands to get his attention and that was something that Dad knew. One-night Dad hit me so hard that I fell into the table, the force was so great that I ended up breaking it into pieces. He came out straight away and then he was yelling at the top of his lungs, he told Dad that as soon as we had the money we were leaving and never looking back which was something that I had been saving for since just after Mum passed. I can't remember it, not at all – I can't remember Dad hitting Julian or Julian falling and smashing his head open on the corner of the wall, all I remember was the blood staining the floor" she said.

The emptiness in her chest was still there, but after telling Godric her story she didn't feel like she needed to cry anymore – at least not at the very moment.

"I didn't even stay for his funeral, I left that very night on the train and never looked back. Dad still writes me letters and how he found my location is something that I still think about. Apparently, he recently found God or something, but I just find it a joke"

"You do not believe in God?" he asked, and she was thankful that he was not asking questions about her story.

"No, I do not think I do," she replied honestly, "I think that everyone has something that they believe in, that they have faith in but mine is not in a man that I have never seen, nor has he done anything for me. Every single night after Mum's funeral I prayed to someone who never did anything to help me or my brother who is now dead-" once again she looked to the light and tried to calm herself down "I am not going to put my blind faith in someone that I have never met and that as far as I am concerned originates from a book"

"You were sixteen when you left? And you have been living alone ever since?" Godric asked, and she was surprised not only by the shock in his voice but the look of surprise on his face as well

"I moved into this place soon after I arrived, I'd saved a bit of money which was enough to cover the first months' rent"

"But you were sixteen," he said, his bright eyes never leaving hers "They allowed you to move in here at such a young age?"

"Not at first, I was actually just staying in cheap motels before this but getting a job at Gemma's changed everything. It was the first night I had worked a closing shift and she happened to be the one that was training me and insisted that she drove me home – when she found out about the motel she hooked me up with this place seeing as she knows the owner"

"You were too young and so was your brother, your father-" but he stopped himself better "A father should know better"

"I don't know what to say to that," she nearly laughed "But I'm slowly becoming okay"

"Have you ever thought of selling your paintings?" he asked, and she watched as he moved from the couch and towards the painting

"I would not even know where to begin, and even if I did who would buy them?" she asked

He turned to face her "I would"

Of all the people in the world, a Vampire was telling her that he would buy her artwork. A year ago, this situation would have been enough to make her laugh, but with Godric looking at her with an expression of utter seriousness she did not feel the need. She brushed the compliment aside and looked at him, really looked at him "Godric, I have never told anyone what I just told you. Not the police, not my friends, not anyone. And I just want you to know that I would do the same for you, I will do the same for you"

For the second time that night he looked completely and utterly surprised "I – my stories, they are not nice ones Louisa"

"Neither was mine. And I did not think that they would be Godric; there must be a reason why you look so sullen every time you being a vampire is bought up"

Slowly, Godric returned to the empty space beside her and clasped his hands tightly atop his lap "I will not go into the small details, but I shall do ask you ask if anything it is only fair after all that you have just told me. When I was alive, in my human life I was sold as a slave when I was a boy. My master, he was sadistic, brutal and cruel in every way that you could possibly think and imagine, and it went on for years. It was just before my eighteenth* year that he turned me"

"Your master was a vampire?" she asked

"Yes," he nodded "Though I did not know so at first. He eventually revealed his true self and what he was. After, I learned everything I could from him," he paused "Before I tore him apart"

Louisa watched him as he spoke his story, and as she did she noticed that he no longer looked sad – there was something in his eyes that she could not place

"I was under the impression that – well it would be impossible to kill your maker," she said slowly "I don't know much of course, Vampires are known to keep their secrets, but from the books I've read I just assumed it would be an impossible task"

"Not impossible, though tremendously challenging," his lips twitched "After I killed him instead of facing the wrath of the Vampires we had lived amongst I fled into the wild. For centuries I lived a savage life by myself, I had no one to answer too and for the first time since I could remember I was free"

"That sounds awfully lonely"

He only shrugged in response "I was practically a newborn vampire, alone and free for the first time in a long time and a lot different to the one I am today. I killed many people of all ages, genders and sizes without a second thought. I spent centuries by myself, slaughtering innocent people for the sake of doing so before I finally came across Eric"

"Your prodigy" she smiled

"Yes. See, I had always had a fascination with Wars, and that was how I found him. Eric fought valiantly, and I was very impressed with his skill, so impressed that I offered to turn him as he lay bleeding and broken on the battlefield. We spent a very long time together and to the day remain very close"

"Does he live here in Dallas?" she asked

"No, he lives in Shreveport"

"At least that isn't very far, do you see each other often?"

"I have not seen him in a number of years"

"Do you miss him?"

"Yes and no," he said with a smile "I-" but he was cut off by his mobile phone. Godric sighed quietly before he reached into his pocket and accepted the call "Isabel?"

Louisa stood from her seat and walked towards her fridge to get herself a drink, eavesdropping was the last thing on her mind especially not after all he had just told her. It did not confuse her, not anymore – if she had done some of the things he had most likely done she would not like herself very much either. But it was not what he had done as a newborn Vampire that shocked her, it was the fact that he had been sold as a slave at God only knew what age and that he had been tortured. She stopped thinking about it immediately as awful images plagued her mind. By the time she sat back beside him, his hone was in his pocket and he was rising to his feet

"My apologies," Godric said "It seems some urgent business has come up and I am needed"

"You don't need to apologize, here I'll walk you to the door; I hope it is nothing too serious"

"Me either little one," he murmured as he opened up her front door and let himself out "I hope tomorrow is not too hard for you if you would like I could-" but he paused

"I will be a miserable mess tomorrow and I would definitely prefer it if you never had to see me like that," she laughed quietly "But maybe the night after"

"I- I was not expecting you to welcome me back to your residence," Godric said seriously

"Oh Godric," she sighed "You may have done some awful things, but never once have you been anything but kind to me and that is all that I care about"

With that, he nodded, and Louisa watched as he walked down the dark hallway and into the shadows.