This chapter quickly became a MONSTER. It just kept getting longer and longer until…well this happened. I'm also going to apologize in advance. The last about…4 pages are kind of rushed. It was just getting so long I needed it to end but I also needed to get to this specific ending to set up the next, and last chapter. The last half of this fic is also unbeta'd. My beta TheWickedWizardOfOz went on vacation before I finished it. Please review and let me know what you think.
Key Stone
February-June 2007
Wally lets out a shaky nervous breath as he entered the school; his new school. Well, it's going to be his new school very soon, at the beginning of September to be exact. As he wandered the halls in search of the main office he takes note of much the school looks like it's out of one of those cheesy afterschool teen dramas. He sighed internally as he made a left down a long corridor. The sound of heels hitting pavement in a steady pace broke him from his thoughts.
His eyes snap up and are greeted with the sight of a blond bombshell walking in his direction. She's tall, pretty and dressed in leather. Too old to be a student and far too inappropriately dressed to be a teacher. Must be a mom, he thought.
"Excuse me." He said, voice echoing slightly from the empty ness of the hallway.
"Can I help you?" She smiled kindly at him. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
"I'm kind of lost. Do you know where the main office is?"
"Hm…" She touches her finger to her lip and studies him. "Red hair, freckles, and registering? Transfer from Gotham? You wouldn't be Wally West would you?" He feels his stomach twist.
"Um…yeah." He says quietly.
"Nice to meet you Wally. My name is Dinah, but you'll be calling me Ms. Lance very soon."
"You're a teacher?"
"No, I'm the school counselor. To answer your first question; the main office is down this hallway and make a left. It's the first door on your left. Can't miss it."
"Thanks." He said quickly, trying to walk away before she gets into his past.
"And Wally?" Her voice caught him and he looks back.
"If you need to talk, need to vent. My door is always open." He nods and takes his leave.
:::
:::
He isn't sure why but he did find himself in Ms. Lance's office the next week. He sat in a rather plush chair, she, still dressed inappropriately for a faculty member in Wally's opinion, was seated behind a large wooden desk. Looking around the fairly large office he sees books crammed into a dark wooden bookcase. All along the walls were pictures of what Wally guessed were family and maybe other faculty as well as her degrees in psychology.
"I'm glad you came, Wally. To tell you the truth, when you did start school I was going to make you come to these… sessions anyway. But it's good that were doing this now."
"You think I need therapy?" Wally thinks he does.
"I think most of the population could stand a few sessions a month." She smiles and rests her hands on the desk. "How about you tell me about yourself Wally?"
"Or we could just cut to the chase. You want me to talk about what happened in Gotham right? Me almost killing Dick."
"Dick?" Her blond eye brow quirks.
"Yeah, Richard Grayson."
"I know who you were talking about. I just didn't expect you to say his name with such… familiarity." He looks away from her, she takes note. "Alright then Wally, how about we start with this; how do you feel about homosexuality?" He was quiet for a minute before he answered.
"My dad says it's disgusting. It's a sin and they're going to be punished."
"Wally, I asked what you thought of it."
"Same thing I guess." He mutters, eyes focused on his lap.
"You guess?" She took note of his insecurity and uncertainty.
"You know… when I attacked him, Richard—I mean." I don't even remember most of it. He kissed me and I kinda snapped. I didn't…I didn't mean to do it."
"He kissed you?"
"Yeah…he called me a closet case and he kissed me. Then I beat him half to death." He rubbed his knuckles, still remembering his they looked with blood splattered on them.
"Why do you think you did that? Why do you think you had that reaction?"
"Fear? I guess…Everyone was looking and—and…"
"You were scared of what other people would say?"
"I…I don't want people to think I'm gay!" He snapped. She paused in her scribbling for a moment.
"Are you?"
"Gay?! No! I'm not gay!" His breathing became heavier.
"Calm down Wally. It was a simple question."
"Yeah…right. I know. I'm sorry." Wally slowly rests his face in his hands. "I used to know him. I mean…we were best friends."
"You and Richard?"
"Yeah… thick as thieves. We used to inseparable."
"What happened?"
"My dad told me I needed to stop hanging out with him or else he would make me gay too…so I stopped."
"Because your father told you to?"
"Yeah…" She took down a few more notes. "You know what the worst part is? I've always tried to get my father's attention. To get him to be proud of me. I got straight A's, won science fairs and joined sports teams and he never batted an eye. But when he had to pick me up that day. He heard what I did to Dick… he looked so… proud of me. It made me sick."
:::
:::
"Talk to me about your relationship with Artemis." Wally found himself in the plush chair the same time a week later. They were already twenty minutes into their discussion when Ms. Lance asked him about his old flame.
"Roy was dating her sister and he always dropped hints that Artemis was single, or Jade thought we would be cute together. I knew what he was hinting at but I wasn't interested. Then during a pool party at Roy's place…she kissed me and I guess we started going out." The redhead shrugged.
"She kissed you? You didn't initiate?"
"No…"
"If you weren't interested why did you go along with it?" Wally shrugged. He had never talked to anyone about his failed relationship with Artemis before. Not even to Roy.
"I hadn't had a girlfriend in a while and Roy was on my back about it. Plus I thought it would ease the loneliness."
"Did it?" He shook his head.
"You mentioned she said that you weren't into it. What do you think she meant by that?"
"Well…Whenever she would kiss me I would hesitate or stop short…and when she tried to move things further….like sex and stuff I couldn't…I…" He mumbled, eyes downcast and focused on his twitching fingers.
"Couldn't preform?" She raised a delicate eyebrow. He flushed.
"There's no shame in—"
"Of course there is!" He cut her off. "I…I'm still a virgin. Because I couldn't get it up with a pretty girl. There's something wrong with me…"
:::
:::
"I heard about your father Wally. How are you holding up?"
"Fine… I guess. I mean… I knew it would happen eventually."
"You knew your father would get drunk and run someone down with his car?"
"No… not that exact thing. He always drinks; from sun up to sundown. The more he drinks the angrier and more violent he gets. It was just a matter of time before he hurt someone." Wally wore an emotionless face, eyes focusing nowhere in particular.
"How long will he be in jail?"
"Nine years. Driving under the influence and vehicular assault. I'm kind of surprised it wasn't longer."
"Where are you living now?"
"My Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry, they're… nice. A little goofy though."
"Perhaps that's what you need. To get away from the environment your father created. Now I have another question for you, Wally. Did your father ever hit you?" Green eyes snapped forward to look at the woman in front of him. He seemed to mull it over in his head before answering.
"A few times… it wasn't a constant thing. Like when I dropped a plate or when he was in a really bad mood. It didn't start till after my mom left. The drinking I mean."
"Wally… when we first met I noticed… a scar, on your arm. Your wrist, actually. Could you—"
"I don't want to talk about it."
:::
:::
The next few months were uneventful. Wally went to his sessions, which Iris and Barry encouraged unlike his father. He liked living with them. It was happy and cheery… something Wally hadn't felt in a long time. It scared him a little.
Wally found himself on his laptop at his desk located in his room staring at the screen. Facebook had been pulled up and it showed countless messages from Roy, who had been trying to make contact with Wally. Some from Artemis, a few nasty ones from Barbara that he'd read. He didn't reply though and he even contemplated deleting his page… maybe make a new one. This… all of this was his old life. A life he hated. He didn't want to be reminded anymore.
He'd make new friends when school started up in the fall… there would be time.
:::
:::
It was the tail end of summer when Wally found himself on Facebook again. He was still working up the courage to delete the thing. He chewed his lip when he moused over the search bar. He quickly typed in a name before he could change his mind.
Richard Grayson
Of course he was the top result. The redhead was about to click the profile when he noticed the picture. It was Dick….with someone's arms wrapped around him. He could feel his stomach churning. Tentatively he clicked and was led to the profile where he enlarged the picture. There it was… Dick had a new boyfriend. They looked… his arm was round Dick's waist, lips pressed against Dicks cheek and Dick trying to shy away and….they looked so Happy. He looked Happy.
He slammed his laptop shut.
:::
:::
Key Stone
September-March 2007-2007
It was the first day at his new school and already he was having a terrible horrible time. As soon he got to homeroom he bumped into a boy. A pretty boy is Wally were to say honestly. Strawberry blond wavy hair pulled back into a loose ponytail with thick framed glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose. The boy, who he found out later, was named Hartley—who names their kid Hartley? As it turns out Wally had three classes with the kid…who kept staring at him.
Wally could feel it, eyes boring into his skull. It was putting the redhead on edge, fidgety and apprehensive. During lunch however Hartley decided to actually say something to Wally, unfortunately it was-
"You're Wally West, right? That guy who almost killed some kid in Gotham and got away with it?" The blond didn't look amused at all when he said it. Wally was actually glad he was sitting on the outskirts of the quad by himself. No one else heard Hartley's declaration.
"Uh…"
"Listen here, you homophobe. If you even touch one of the gay kids here you-" He jabbed a finger into Wally's chest. "-will be dealing with me and the entire LGBT club here." Wally blinked, and blinked again. Hartley left without another word.
:::
:::
As it turned out, for a small town in Kansas, had a pretty strong LGBT community. They were close knit too. It didn't matter if anyone had been there when Hartley and Wally had officially met, word had gotten around the school and Wally was an outcast. Looked at as some kind of psychopath and future serial killer or something.
Wally thinks he deserves it, Ms. Lance believes otherwise.
"Wally It isn't fair to you. Getting demonized is detrimental to what we've been working on." The therapy sessions continued even what Wally joined Keystone high. Wally sat silently as Ms. Lance stared at him worriedly, fingers laced on her desk. "I know you feel guilty about what you did and I know you think you deserve all of this for what you did to Dick but I'm telling you it wasn't your fault. Your father created a terrible environment for you to grow in and influenced your judgment. You feeling guilty about it—"
"I know that you're getting at but…There's nothing I can do except grin and bear it."
"Not exactly…I've had a talk with your science teacher, Mr. Scott." Wally's face pales a bit. He knows Mr. Scott doesn't like him, hates him even, since he has a gay son. "And he thinks it would be a good idea is you and Hartley were partnered up for your upcoming science project."
Why did life keep getting worst?
:::
:::
Now Wally really did feel like he was in a cliché 90's afterschool drama. Science project with the person who hates your guts in hopes you get over your differences? Not likely. They had decided, which actually meant Hartley demanded, that they meet in the Library for their science project meet up since "I don't want to be alone with you in my house. No telling what would happen." Wally believes he has read into that a bit much.
So here they were, opposite sides of a long table; Wally quietly reading his text book and taking notes. He knew that Hartley was peering up at him from his own notes at the redhead. He put down his pencil and looked at his science partner who had just been caught staring.
"What?" The redhead asked evenly.
"Just thinking it's a real shame your straight. You'd actually be really cute if you weren't a gay bashing homophobe." Hartley said flippantly. He eyes Wally but is surprised when Wally simply goes back to taking notes. Wally knows Hartley is just trying to get a rise out of him. It won't work. He tells himself that as he fights back the blush threatening to spread across his cheeks.
:::
:::
The second time they met, it was at Wally's house, well his aunt and uncles house. He still doesn't refer to it as home. When Hartley enters the redhead's room he looked…surprised. There are science awards along with a few sports trophies. Comic books are stacked on his desk while his book case, while not as packed as Ms. Lance, was still filled with novels and text books. The blond teen walked over to the bookcase and ran his finger along the spines.
"You've read all these?" He sounded incredulous as he pulled out one book in particular.
"Most of them. I'm still reading that one." Wally responded in an almost mumble. He referred to the book Hartley had in his hand. "The Heart of Darkness".
"My favorite book." The other teen mentions off handedly. "I didn't know you were a fan of literature….I half expected your room to be filled with death metal posters…or a bunch of crucifixes."
"I'm not a Satanist….or a religious nut."
"So then why did you—"
"We should start on our project."
:::
:::
The next few meetings go the same way. Either at the library or at Uncle Barry's house. It's no surprise Iris adores Hartley. Barry is happy Wally has a friend. But then they were in private Hartley kept digging. Asking about his old life, about Dick, about the incident. Wally did his best to either ignore the questions of change the subject but today Hartley would have none of it.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Wally snapped.
"You're smart, you're talented and from what your aunt told me, you had a lot going for you back at Gotham. Why did you…"
"It's none of your business." Wally said through gritted teeth. He was getting tired of the questioning. "Look, it's late. I think you should leave." He gets up from the floor where they had been studying but it stopped when he feels delicate long fingers wrap around his wrist. He was pretty strong for a band geek.
"No way, not until you…" He stops and so does Wally. Hartley is staring it his wrist, at the scar that hasn't quit faded. The redhead feels the color drain from his face. "Is that—?"
"Leave, now!" He pulls his wrist away from the other boys grip. Wally can't believe he's been so careless.
"No. Wally, I want answers."
"I don't owe you anything Hartley, get out!" He was starting to panic.
"I could help!"
"Help!? Why the fuck would you want to help me? Some queer bashing homophobe who isn't worth the time of day?" Wally slung hurtful words Hartley had thrown at him. He backed away, back colliding with the wall behind him. "Why does it matter if I tried to kill myself?" His voice began dying down as tears began falling. "Wouldn't everyone be better off?" He felt himself sliding down the wall. Pent up feelings, anger, frustration and anguish pouring out of him. "Please…just go."
Hartley did leave. They both decided that it would be better if they worked on their project separately.
:::
:::
"It's good that you got that off your chest Wally." Ms. Lance stared at the nonresponsive redhead. "Trust me Wally, it's good to confide in someone…Please tell me Wally…why did you try and kill yourself?"
It was silent in the room for a while before Wally responded.
"I just…" He took a deep calming break. "I just wanted it to end. I think it's the reason why my dad wanted to move from Gotham. He found me in the bathroom like that. Covered in blood. I was kind of surprised I woke up in the hospital."
"Surprised? Why?"
"I figured he'd let me die." There was another tense silence. "I've never been anything but a burden or an embarrassment to him. I'd thought he'd just…stand by. I was put on suicide watch and they wanted to have me do therapy there but my dad was…adamant against it. We moved here soon after that."
:::
Its winter break and Wally sits alone in his room. Christmas is tomorrow—Wally looks at the clock on his nightstand that reads twelve o' clock am—Christmas was today and Wally wasn't in the mood for opening the presents his aunt and uncle had gotten him even though he asked them not to; he didn't deserve them.
He's surprised when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Pulling it out and unlocking the screen he saw he had a text message from Hartley. 'Merry Christmas' it read.
The read head frowned and didn't respond.
:::
Her name is Linda and Wally recognizes that she's pretty, that she's beautiful. She works for the schools newspaper and has been trying to get an interview with him since the first day of school but Wally always brushes her off. She hasn't given up though.
After the incident with Hartley that happened the previous semester, Wally started to feel lonely. He can't believe he misses the bossy blond but he was the only person that Wally talked to. The redhead approaches her, Linda, one day after school but instead of giving her the interview he asks her out. She accepted.
:::
:::
The rest of the year goes by in a blur. Wally has been placed in advanced placement classes after his teacher notice he isn't being challenged. Ms. Lance said that he's fast tracking himself into a good university which was good.
It seemed that his life was getting back on track to outsiders. He had a pretty girlfriend, a 5.0 GPA and loving guardians…but Linda knows better. Wally isn't happy any more than when he first arrived. He was using his AP classes as a distraction…he was using her as a distraction when he was out of homework.
She knew that the kisses were not full of passion but of disconnect. His hugs were lackluster.
His excuses as to why they couldn't spend time together were too many and half assed. Eventually, she stopped.
:::
:::
Wally thinks it's a sign. After he's taken his SAT's he had sent his results to five schools. A score of two thousand was great, good enough to get into most school but the first that sends a reply is Gotham University.
A full ride scholarship back to his home…back to…
Barry and Iris support his decision.
:::
:::
It's after graduation that Linda tells Wally.
"You're breaking up with me?" Wally asked crushed; color fading from his face.
"Wally…you're a great guy, despite what everyone else thinks. You're nice and sweet but…you're not into this. You aren't into me. I don't like being used as a distraction Wally…and that's what I've been to you."
Wally hangs his head and doesn't dare to say she's wrong. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves him with his thoughts.
Later that night as Wally lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, thinking of what he'd done wrong with Linda, he heard a knock at the door.
"Come in." He calls out absent mindedly. He expects to see Iris walk in and try and coax him into eating again but instead it
"Hartley?" He asks confused. He hadn't spoken to the blond boy in a few months.
"Your aunt let me in." He walked in, closing the door behind him. "I heard what happened with Linda."
"Yeah, and?" Wally was getting agitated. The blond shrugged.
"Wanted to say I'm sorry? About her, how I treated you when you first got here and…about your wrist."
"Why are you apologizing?" The redhead's brow knit together.
"Because I know why now." Well that was cryptic. "The whole thing. The incident at Gotham, Linda. I did some research…you and that kid, Richard Grayson. He kissed you and you lost it."
"So what?" He could feel his blood being pumped quicker.
"He called you out didn't he?"
"I don't know what you're talking about…"
"You're gay."
"I'm not gay!" He nearly shouts. He's up from his bed now, his full height towering over Hartley who didn't seemed fazed.
"It makes sense. Linda told me you weren't into her at all; she caught you staring at guys most of the time."
"Get out!"
"It's okay Wally…" Hartley put a hand on his shoulder, the redhead flinched away.
"Don't fucking touch me!" He backed away.
"Wally, it's okay." The back of Wally's knees hit the bed, causing him to topple over onto his bed. Taking advantage Hartley crawled onto the bed, on top of a now panicking Wally.
"W-what are you…?" Lips descended on to his. Breathing quickened, heart pounded and fingers trembling Wally found himself kissing back. Fingers tangling themselves in wavy strawberry blond hair. His other hand roaming lower. Wally didn't know why…why he was reacting. Why he wanted more…no—he knew and it scared him. So much.
Hartley kissed down his jaw, to his neck, his collar bone. "Stop, Hartley. Please stop." He could feel tears stinging his eyes. His body was trembling all over, and he weakly pushed at the blonds shoulders. "Please….I just want to be normal."
"Wally?"
The door to his room opened, Iris walked in. Tears were flowing freely from his eyes when he spotted her. Hartley removed himself from Wally; stepping back as the redhead kept trembling and crying, muttering under his breath.
"Wally?!" Iris rushed to his side. "Wally what's wrong? Are you okay?" Hartley backed away.
"I just want to be normal. I don't want to go to hell. Why can't I be normal?" She held the trembling boy.
"Oh Wally, why would you go to hell? Where is this coming from!? Wally, please talk to me!" Hartley slipped out of the room, rushing out of the house.
"Aunt Iris…I think…" He tried to calm himself. He tried to stop crying, but the more he tried the worst it got. "I think I'm gay. Please don't tell my dad, please don't tell my dad, please don't…"
:::
:::
Keystone
June 2007
"It's okay to be gay Wally." Ms. Lance—err, Dinah told him. She told him to call her Dinah now that he was no longer a student. They had been having dearly daily sessions since his breakdown.
It was helping.
"Wally your father is the one that instilled those negative emotions to something that's completely fine. I need you to accept that. The faster you accept that, the faster you can accept yourself."
It was helping.
"I know forcing himself on you was wrong but Hartley did do some good too. He got you to discover something very important about yourself you've been ignoring. I think it's time you started exploring this side of you that has been buried for who knows how long."
This was…it was really helping.
"I'm supportive of you moving back to Gotham for school, their science program is top notch. I also want you to try and reconnect with the people you left behind. This will be good for you. It's time to stop running from your problems."
He felt so light. He couldn't say that he was happy but he felt…better. This was helping. He was gay…
He never did talk to Hartley again, he did however track Linda down and apologize to her, confess what had happened between him and Hartley…what he finally admitted to himself. She understood.
:::
:::
Central City
2007 August
Wally stood there, bags packed and ready to board. He let out a shaky breath as his flight time arrived. He was going back to Gotham. He was leaving his aunt and his uncle…he was leaving his home with them. It was normal that he was apprehensive.
"You'll come visit during holiday's right?"
"Of course Aunt I…"
"Call us if you need anything Wally.
"I know Barry…thanks….both of you. For everything."
"We love you Wally, and nothing will ever change that."