Oliver felt the sting in his heart more than he felt the sting on his face. He couldn't believe she had slapped him. No words, no embrace, nothing. Oliver had never felt such pain. It wasn't even physical pain. No, that he could handle. He could deal with a sword through his chest. He could get past being shoved off of a mountain in freezing weather. But the woman he loves walking out on him? That felt a thousand times worse. It hurt him deep in his heart… in his soul.
He was pulled out of his shock by Diggle, who was snapping his fingers right in front of his face, and Roy who was looking at him in concern. Oliver hadn't even remembered they were there.
Before he could really understand what had just happened, Diggle was pulling him into a hug and asking him where he had been. He couldn't reply because Roy was throwing his own questions out there about Ra's and the fight and the League of Assassins. He couldn't keep up. He was still lost from what had happened with Felicity.
Did she really just slap me? That question was on repeat in Oliver's head and he felt like he was going through some type of out of body experience. He was answering Diggle and Roy's questions as best he could, but his mind was definitely not in that foundry. Just like his heart, it was with Felicity.
Two days passed and no one had heard from Felicity more than an "I'm okay" text message to Diggle. Oliver was going out of his mind. One moment he wanted to go to her apartment and demand her to tell him why she slapped him, and the next he was sulking on the bed she had bought him.
Diggle and Roy learned to keep their distance after he snapped at them because they wouldn't stop telling him to go to her and "work things out". Oliver wished it was that easy, but it wasn't. He had made the decision to be alone and he needed to stick to that.
He has to let her go.
When she finally returned to the foundry after the two days of silence, Oliver felt the weight of her absence lift from his chest. He heard her heels clicking down the stairs before he saw her and he allowed himself a moment of relief before turning to greet her. Okay Oliver, get it together. This is business. You need to let her go. Damn his subconscious.
He turned to her from his spot in the foundry where he was training with the practice dummy and mumbled a "Hi" before turning his attention back on the dummy. That's not the only dummy down here, he subconsciously chastised himself. Hi? Really? That was the best he could do?
He finished his workout half-heartedly. It was hard to concentrate when he could hear her typing away at her computers. She hadn't said anything to him when she came in; not even returning his lame "hi". He knew she was upset, but they were partners. They were supposed to protect this city together, along with Diggle and Roy, and the cold shoulder was going to affect that if she kept it up. Oliver needed to bite the bullet and get them past this. For Starling. Or yourself.
Oliver really wished his subconscious had died when he almost did. It was becoming a real ass hole.
He grabbed the shirt he had taken off to work out and threw it over his head before he slowly made his way over to Felicity. Now that he was closer, he could see she was wearing a white, loosely fitting blouse with a black pencil skirt. Probably her Palmer Technologies attire. Her hair was down and cascading around her shoulders and Oliver felt his body start to react to her.
No. He needs to stop. He can't be with her and he needs to stick by that decision instead of confusing himself, or her, even more.
He made sure to keep some distance between them as he approached her. His eyes never left her and he would've thought she hadn't even known he was there if it wasn't for the hitch in her breathing when he turned his body towards her and folded his arms across his chest, making it obvious he wanted to talk.
"Felicity. Can we talk?" Oliver tried to sound casual, but even he could hear he was anything but casual. He ended up sounding breathless, sad, and determined all at the same time.
Felicity stopped typing and simply sat there, staring at her computers for a moment. Oliver thought she was going to ignore him altogether, but before he could open his mouth to beg her to talk to him, she turned towards him with a smile on her face. It was odd, really. The smile wasn't what scared him.
It was the empty look in her eyes.
She looked at him as if he was nothing to her. As if he was a stranger instead of the man who loves her.
"What do we need to talk about, Oliver?" Felicity replied, seemingly looking through him instead of at him.
It broke his heart all over again how she was treating him, but he needed to get through this. They needed to hash this out so things could go back to how they were before he left.
"You know what we need to talk about. This. Us. You slapped me after seeing me for the first time in two months then left without a word. We need to talk about this so we can get back to saving the city." He immediately regretted the words because they sounded detached and unemotional, and Oliver was anything but.
Felicity rose out of her chair and took a step towards him, looking like she was ready to battle Ra's Al Ghul himself.
"We all thought you were dead, Oliver!" She spat at him, her voice raised with emotion. He flinched at her tone but before he could reply, she continued. "Nyssa came to visit us. Did you know that? She came to tell us you were dead. She told us you were stabbed and kicked off of a mountain. We mourned you. All of us! For two months!" Tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks, but she kept going, not even bothering to wipe them away. "Then you show up out of the blue, just walking down the foundry stairs like nothing ever happened. But before I said your name… I saw you Oliver. You had turned around to leave. You weren't even going to come down the stairs. If I hadn't caught you, you would've walked right back out of that door and I never would've seen you again."
She was right. Oliver hated to admit it, but Felicity had been completely right. He had made the decision to leave and he would have. He hates that she's right.
He took a step forward, a very calculated step, and felt the tears that had formed in his eyes fall freely down his face. He knew what he needed to do. Not for him, but for her.
He took a deep breath before rising his eyes to meet hers before telling her the one thing he knew would change everything.
"You're right. I would've left and I wouldn't have returned. Ever. Because that's what I would do for you. And Thea, and Diggle, and Roy. I would leave this life in Starling City to keep all of you safe. To let all of you be happy." He shook his head, wiping the tears from his face with the heel of his hands. "I made the decision to be the Arrow. I made the decision to protect this city. This crusade is mine, it's not yours. And I'll be damned if any of you sacrifice your life for this crusade. All of you deserve to be happy, and I won't stand in the way of that. So yes, I would've left. I would've left the people I love so they can be happy. All of you would have been fine without me, and you would've been if you would've just let me go!"
He watched as Felicity took in his words and he just stood there as she closed her heart to him. He could see it before his very eyes. Just like before they started talking a few minutes ago, her eyes held no emotion and the love he used to see lighting up her eyes was gone.
Just like that.