Harry's Introduction
Harry was bleeding.. the emo
Well if you've been tasked with killing the most powerful Dark Wizard of all time, bit by bit of heavily magically protected soul at a time, you'd be a bit miserable. Especially as the Jesus, Father, Easter Bunny figure you so admire and who would have been a great help has just died.
Harry bandaged the bleeding on his wrists and finished uploading his video blog onto MySpace along with some poetry:
If Voldemort captures me I'll surely be blasted to infinity,
I haven't even lost my virginity,
If I am to die,
Without a taste of Ginny's pie
I will be bloody annoyed.
So you get the general image of how our gallant hero was coping with things, fucking terrible would probably cover it. Lots of unread mail lay around the room from Ron and Hermione, saying that they are so sorry he's stuck in a miserable Hell Hole, but their having a great time without him anyway.
Harry got up and read the article on the "Death of Albus Dumbledore" in the daily prophet he'd received today:
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore IS A FUCKING LEGEND
"Albus was always a good friend of mine, mainly because he absolutely kicked the ass of anyone that was a bit of a bastard, and he was dam good at doing it. I remember him kicking the ass of everyone at school twice before breakfast and then 3 times again before lunch, man I'll miss that dude."
Jippers Miggippers, Dumbledore's golf partner
"Dumbledore will always be remembered for his many brave deeds, but I myself remember him for his fantastic fireworks, wait, wasn't that gandalf... mmmm, I always get them confused, oh well, may he rest in peace whichever big beardy wizard he was."
Bongo Baggers, Dumbledore's pet hobbit
"Albus can go fuck himself, I prefer goats if I'm completely honest."
Aberforth Dumbledore, Dumbledore's not so cool brother
"Oh it's dark in here Dumbly" continued page 8, 9, 10 and most of the rest of the paper
Elphias Doge, Dumbeldore's official lapdog
Harry put down the book, he had thought he knew Dumbledore quite well, and he had, Dumbledore had kicked ass from the day he was born at the age of 76, all was right with the world as Harry prepared to leave Privet Drive forever.
The Dursleys Leave, HOORAY!