Chapter 2: Was It Add 10 Pounds Or 3 Feet?

Fitzgerald and Alanna took Disney Hollywood Studios in, turning their heads every which way until their necks were sore (it helps to move your body for extreme head turns).

"We're here." Fitzgerald said with a manic glee. "We're actually here."

"What do we even do first?" Alanna said. "They got rides, shows… hey, they have a show of Beauty and the Beast. We're so doing that."

"Keep an eye out for Mickey or anyone walking around." Fitzgerald said.

"Excuse me, Mr. Doggie and Miss. Monkey." a voice from behind them said. The two cartoons turned around to see a 3 year old girl behind them. "I'm going to see Goofy and Donald. You want to wait in line with me?"

"Heck yeah!" Fitzgerald and Alanna said and they joined the little girl, whose name was Karen, and her parents in line.

"My name's Fitzgerald, but you can call me Fitz." Fitzgerald said.

"I'm Alanna, and I'm a robot orangutan." Alanna said.

"Orung-a-tam. Orange-am-can. O-rang-do…"

"You know? Monkey is fine." Alanna said with a smile.

The line was long, but not terribly so. Fitzgerald and Alanna actually expected a longer line, so they were content… and excited, hopping with Karen in their excitement. They eventually came to the end of the line, which was precisely the point where Fitzgerald and Alanna got confused.

Donald and Goofy weren't there. All there were was someone dressed as a duck and another person dressed as a dog. The costumes seemed familiar but the cartoons only glanced at them before looking for their heroes.

"Hey, Karen, you sure we're in the right line?" Alanna asked. She turned in time to see Karen run to the duck-costumed person, where they exchanged hugs. "You know that person?"

"It's Donald, you silly monkey." Karen said.

This almost floored Fitzgerald and Alanna. They took a closer a look and realized the costumes did look like Donald and Goofy… or were they actually Donald and Goofy?

"Was the saying "the camera adds 10 pounds" or was it "the camera adds 3 feet?" Fitzgerald whispered.

"It was totally the pounds one." Alanna said as she took a cautious step towards "Donald".

Whoever it was, they were friendly. They immediately hugged Alanna and Fitzgerald when they came forward. They signed the cartoons' autograph books and stood with them as the assistant took a picture of the three. As this all happened, the cartoons secretly checked this person. The results were not good: what should've been feathers was some sort of cloth. The face made no movements even when Alanna "accidentally" bumped the beak. When the picture was being taken, Fitzgerald flicked his ear so it would touch the eye. Nothing. However, something happened that made Fitzgerald and Alanna's findings minor footnotes.

Or rather, what didn't happen.

"So Donald, can you sing your favorite song from L'anatra Combattendo?" Fitzgerald asked. Fitzgerald expected the imposter to fumble and sing the wrong song (Donald's favorite, translated, is "Do Not Eat The Love Of The World"). What he didn't expect was the imposter scratching his head.

"Uh, what's that?" the assistant asked.

"The opera Donald starred in." Fitzgerald said.

"Oh, that. Yeah, Donald rather not talk about that." the assistant said with a smile. "Donald" covered his eyes and swayed like his singing was an embarrassment.

Fitzgerald nearly pulled out his iPod to play the cast recording, specifically "Do Not Eat The Love Of The World", to show how freakin' wrong they both were. He wanted more: to rip the duck mask off the imposter Donald, imposter Goofy, and every other imposter in the park, for he knew there had to be more. For a reason he didn't know, Alanna pulled him towards what they all but knew was an imposter of Goofy, got autographs and pictures and walked to an empty bench.

"What was that for?" Fitzgerald asked vehemently. "It's bad enough I got the autograph from one imposter. Why did we get both?"

"I knew what you were thinking." Alanna said. When Fitzgerald made a sound to ask, she continued. "I was ready to do the same thing. If we pulled their heads off… the costume heads, not the real ones, that'd be icky… they and their attendants would just say we did some Disney magic. Even if they didn't, the kids would start crying, thinking we did something horrible. They have to see the truth on their own."

"Well, how do we do that?" Fitzgerald asked. "Kids are smart fart-makers, but a little help's not gonna hurt anyone."

"We have to show the difference between the fake cartoons and real cartoons."

"How?"

…

"Good question." Alanna said, putting her hand on her chin to think just as Karen came over.

"We're going on Toy Story Mania. Come with us." Karen said with a smile.

"Uh, we were… uh… going to ride on another… ride… machine… thingy." Fitzgerald stammered (although Toy Story Mania was one of the rides he was most excited for).

"Oh, well, how about the Beauty and the Beast show?" Karen asked.

"You don't want to hang around with us today. We actually…

"Would love to see it with you. When are you going?" Alanna asked as she clamped Fitzgerald's mouth shut.

"Why did you say we'd go?" Fitzgerald asked as Alanna came back. "I just saw two people clearly not Chip and Dale, I really doubt the real stars of Beauty and the Beast will be there."

"Why do you doubt?" Alanna said. "We're going to bring them here."