1.
Somewhere in the universe, a big steel Emergency Vehicle was flying with great difficulty.
His left side had been damaged by a floating dolphin. Then, there had been the Friltonian ship, which had violently hit the right side. And now, there was that big planet approaching*. Unfortunately, no Emergency Vehicle had ever been designed to be more than a metal box randomly transported through space. It was impossible for everyone to drive it... including for a depressive robot with a brain the size of a planet. So, the undrivable metal box was about to hit a planet the size of a very big planet in a "Bang"... a big...
BANG !
Everyone knows that Emergency Vehicles have Emergency Exits (which are exit doors opening in a « Ouuuuuuuuf »). Everyone, including a depressive robot owning a brain the size of a planet.
And everyone knows that a "Big Bang" is the only thing a Universe needs to be created.
In the small Big Bang of an Emergency Vehicle hitting a planet, a small Universe was born...
It all happened before Marvin's sad eyes.
Zaphod considered the empty place where an Emergency Vehicle had once been with his first pair of eyes and stared at the screen of Eddie, the Computer, with his second pair of eyes.
" He has... escaped... with the Emergency Vehicle ?... OUR precious Emergency Vehicle ! And what do we do in case of emergency, then ? "
Arthur's right eyebrow rose lazily before he said : « We've been attacked by Vogons, missiles, transported through time... and we've never used an Emergency Vehicle... so what's the point in owning one ?»
" Well... we... we've never been in a real state of Emergency, that's the point... I've always controlled the situation all by myself "
" You Belgian Bast-
But let's end that argument here.
Tiny stars were forming before the robot's eyes. Small galaxies and solar systems were being built. It happened, from Marvin's point of view, in a few seconds. I was a wonderful thing to see (excepted for a depressive robot) and to those who would ask why a universe, which is expected to be infinite, could be a small one, we will just say « Shut up and enjoy ! ».
Then, a piece of recently destroyed Emergency Vehicle violently hit that tiny universe... which ended on the spot.
Marvin landed on the planet in his Emergency Capsule (everyone knows there is one next to each Emergency Exit), watching the universe die. It caused him deep sadness. That's why he sat on a rock and decided not to move for the next three months.
*Actually, it was the Emergency Vehicle approaching the planet, but from it's passenger's point of vue, it seemed that it was the menacing planet that was coming quickly.
2.
It is a well-known fact that the Universe began with a Big Bang.
The creation of a universe has nothing to do with two particles hitting one other. Everything has been as it is thanks to the sound it has made.
As soon as scientists of all the universe realized that, they started trying to get the same noise. The exact « Bang ».
They've tried everything. They made bombs explode, houses explode, cups explode, tables explode, shot Kennedies dead, but they never got the exact sound. It's always been some " Baoum " or " Brooooohm ". And they did more and more tests, and became more and more insane...
One day, a research group from somewhere around Betelgeuse decided to try something new. Something great.
They just started to think : " What if we destroyed a planet ?... If a bang is able to create a universe, destroying a world could make the same noise... ", what was silly and would prove to be useless. But stupid men are expected to do silly stuff.
And they did.
They opened the illustrious HitchHickers' Guide to the Galaxy to findtheplanet. When they finally found it, a smile appeared on their excited and insane faces. It was the ideal planet. Ideal, really...
... because the only thing the Guide mentionned about it was that it was "harmless".