Okay, I have no words to say how happy I am that you enjoyed the first chapter so much!
So I'm just going to say a huge Thank You for all your reviews and the support to continue :)
I already had an idea about the second chapter and here it is...
Spoilers for Remember Me Season 2 Episode 10 and Melt My Heart To Stone Season 3 episode 10.
Jane's POV
Enjoy
I tried to keep her in my line of vision as I moved around the spacious living room, just to make sure she was still there and that she was finally safe.
Whenever I exited from her space or turned to go to the kitchen, I saw how she pulled herself up a bit from the couch, just enough to make sure I was still in the room with her.
Her catatonic state had passed and now she just looked scared, frightened like I never had occasion to see her.
It broke my fucking heart.
And it make me angry beyond belief as I thought about what happened just a few hours previous.
That night, for the second time in my life, I was sure I was going to lose forever the woman I loved.
I felt those same sensation, I saw the time slowing down, I felt my stomach turn with nausea and my heart cracking opened and bleeding.
And if that wasn't enough, I realized that the worst part, was how I deeply started to regret my decision of not ever telling Maura which were my true feelings for her.
The cold air of the refrigerator wasn't enough to cool down the sudden heat of anger and regret I felt pervading me not for the first time that evening.
I took two glasses of water, closing the fridge behind me a little too loudly, making Maura jump from the couch in the process.
Her eyes immediately scanning the area all around, her arms coming protectively around herself in a sort of self hug as her breath became more and more shallow.
I crossed the room reaching her side in three long strides, and with no intention of scaring her further, I decided to not touch her, not knowing how she would have reacted.
"Maura?" My voice was soft, a whisper that I was glad she heard immediately.
Her hazel eyes met mine and the fear, the vulnerability I saw in them, shattered me, piece after piece of my whole being. But I was too focused on her to pay attention at what was happening inside me, and I just tried my best to push those sensations aside.
My priority in that moment was Maura.
She was beyond tense, she was hypervigilant and aware of everything that was going on around her. That was one of the reasons because she seemed so worried when I left before even if for only a few moments.
I kept looking at her, hoping that I could have trasmitted her some of the calm I was desperately trying to feel on my own and that she needed more than me, but my look wasn't enough, so I reached out with my hand tentatively, placing it softly on her shoulder, stroking with my thumb her skin through the thin shirt she was wearing, and to my surprise, she let out a steady breath, her shoulders relaxing a bit and when she opened her eyes, I finally saw more of her, more of the Maura I knew.
"It's okay Maur... It's just me." She nodded dropping her head before I made her sit on the couch once again, handing her the glass of water.
Since we arrived at her house, she didn't say a word. For the whole ride back to her place she continued just to hold on my hand as I drove, occasionally turning to see if she was starting to recover and each time, I always found her meeting my gaze, a look that I couldn't quite place but that seemed like gratefulness, mixed with something else.
I watched as she took a sip of water, she had to use both of her hands because they were still slightly shaking, and when she finished I took the glass placing it on the coffee table in front of us.
Her gaze remained fixed in front of her until I decided to take a seat beside her, not too close but not too distant either, a distance that said 'when you are ready, I'm here for you'.
And fortunately, just after a few more moments, she blinked, turning her head to look at me, but what I wasn't expecting to see, were the new tears that were forming on those usually soft and kind hazel eyes.
Only this time, they didn't show fear...
"You saved me, Jane."
For her realization. But not surprise.
For me anger. And shame.
I dropped my head tightening the muscles on my jaw, clenching my hands into fists.
The image that kept appearing in my head was always the same, Maura crying, begging as that monster held a knife against her throat. Her eyes searching mine, holding my gaze for all the time...
My stomach turned again and I was sure that I wasn't going to resist at the urge this time, but suddenly, a warm, soft and comforting hand rested on my exposed arm, and I found myself closing my eyes at the sensation as my body started to relax, slowly, the anger inside me fading away but not completely.
I opened my eyes again and I saw that Maura had shifted to stay closer to me, her other hand resting on my knee and when I met her gaze, it was my turn to feel the tears swelling up.
"I was so scared, so terrified to arrive too late Maura. I-I... I don't know what I would have done if..." But my voice trailed off, unable to finish as my voice became raspier with thick tears, constricting my throat at the point I thought I couldn't breath anymore.
Somehow the parts had inverted, and to my surprise, suddenly I was the one that needed comfort.
"I'm here, Jane. I'm here just because of you. You arrived just in time... As always."
The last part was barely audible but I caught it anyway, and that made me think even harder.
It made me think about all the times I saw her in danger during the years, how many persons had treathened her, pointed a gun at her... I remembered when Hoyt captured the both of us.
I wasn't concerned about me, I was nothing, just a broken person and a bad tempered Detective.
But Maura...
I raised my gaze to look at the light of comfort and acceptance I knew I would have found in her eyes... And there it was.
I don't think I would have fought so hard to stay alive if it wasn't for her.
To save her, and keep her safe.
And that night, as that serial killer was keeping her hostage like I had swore a long time ago was never going to happen again, I knew that I had failed her. My head dropped in defeat.
"Don't."
At that secure, almost harsh comand, my head snapped up, the look Maura was giving me spoke louder than any word.
She knew that I was blaming myself.
She had immediately recognized the signs all over my face, in my posture, in how frantically I was rubbing the scars on my hands.
But this time, I couldn't hold back the reason for my behavior.
"I can't keep doing this..." I whispered to myself. A statement, a reminder that I needed to do what I had always dreaded, but after that night, the thought of not doing it, made me feel worst.
The only thought of doing so, was terrifying. My entire being shaking with fear of losing the most precious thing that ever happened to me.
I raised from the couch on my visibly slightly trembling legs, starting to pace in front of it to find the courage, running a hand through my hair to try and collect my thoughts, but when I looked again at Maura, who was wearing an expression of pure concern and confusion, I knew that there weren't appropriate words for this kind of speech, but the ones I felt beating in my heart... The ones engraved in my soul.
And for once, I was going to use them.
Because they were the only ones that Maura deserved.
"Jane?" She tried to get my attention as she stood, her voice tentative and the concern in her eyes wasn't lost on me.
I swallowed.
A deep breath.
"There's something I need to tell you, Maura."
That part was simple, but what I was going to say next, was probably going to be the most important and life changing thing I would ever said.
She nodded, taking my hands in hers. I took a seat on the coffee table and she on the couch so we could face each other.
"During the years, ever since I lost Sarah, I tried to find a reason, a way to keep going without holding on the past... But I couldn't." I paused, the sensation in my throat returning with a vengeance the more I approciated the real subject of my speech.
"For a long time I blamed myself for what had happened to her, for not being able to protect her, for having disappointed her-"
"Jane-"
"Please, Maura..." My voice cracking a bit because I knew she wanted to stop me from those dark thought I was confessing her, but I needed to tell her what I was feeling.
"Please, let me finish this."
I waited until she nodded, reluctantly, conflict written all over her face.
"...I knew I couldn't forget her, nor the deep sentiment we shared and felt for each other, and that is why, after a long time, when I started dating again, I deliberately choose to have relationships with people whom I knew I could have never fallen in love with."
Slowly, Maura diverted her gaze briefly from mine, her brows furrowed in thought, but I knew she was listening, so I continued.
"That worked for a while, until I met someone who made me feel something else beside the constant pain that kept hunting me. Someone who managed to wake up all those emotions I thought I would have never felt again in my life."
I took in a shaky breath, my heart already beating furiously and my hands trembling in my lap as I refused to look at her in the most delicate moment.
"I have lost the woman I loved, Maura. I don't think I can survive if that happens again. But what I know for sure now, is that I would regret it forever if I wouldn't at least have tried to tell how I feel in case something should happens to me..."
I closed my eyes for the last crucial words, and a tear escaped.
"...or to you."
A heartbeat passed.
Her eyes widening in realization, her lips parting to take in a sip of air.
"The last person I've told, died while I was holding her, but I can't keep this inside me anymore. Not after tonight, not after having almost lost you."
Two glistening lines were now running on her cheeks, her eyes shining with so many breathtaking emotions, but only two gave me the strength to finish.
The spark of hope.
"Because you,"
And the burning flame of love.
"Are the one I love, Maura Isles."
And then, the best answer I could have ever hoped for.
A kiss.