Chapter 2
Hannibal and McAllister stand there staring at each other for several moments. Then Hannibal cocks his head to the side. "Johnny?" he says.
"Hannibal?" replies the master ninja.
Then the two of them burst out in smiles and embrace each other like long lost brothers. The other members of The A-Team look at each other in confusion, as do McAllister's companions.
"You old son of a gun!" says The Master.
"How the hell are you?" says Hannibal as he releases McAllister from his embrace and claps him on the shoulder, "I haven't seen you since Korea!"
"Not since we had that double date in Seoul," agrees The Master.
"Right!" exclaims Hannibal, "With those two nurses from that M*A*S*H unit, the 4077!"
"What was the name of that gorgeous blonde you were with that night? She was a major wasn't she?"
"Hoolihan!" replies Hannibal, "Margaret Hoolihan! Who did you wind up with again?"
"I don't remember," says McAllister, "I only remember waking up in my hotel room the next morning with a killer hangover. I don't think I've touched a Singapore Sling again since that night!"
"Uh, McAllister?" says Enos, "Ya mind introducing us all to your friend there?"
"Oh, sorry," says the old ninja, "How rude of me. Hannibal, this here is Deputy Sheriff Enos Strate. That lovely young lady with him is Daisy Duke. These two young men are her cousins, Bo and Luke Duke."
"That's Corporal Luke Duke, Sir," says Luke as he extends his hand to the colonel, "United States Marine Corps."
"Corporal," says Hannibal as he shakes his hand, "You in 'Nam?"
"Yes Sir," replies Luke, "At least during the last few years of the war. I was given an honorable discharge when I got home."
"Good to meet you, son."
"These three lovely young ladies are Sabrina Duncan, Jill Munroe, and Kelly Garrett. They were police officers with the LAPD, before joining The Townsend Agency and becoming private investigators. And over here we have Colt Seavers and his friend Jody Banks. They used to be Hollywood stunt people before all of this craziness went down."
"You were in movies?" says Hannibal joyfully, "What a coincidence, so was I! I was The Aquamaniac in parts two through five!"
"You were The Aquamaniac?" says Jody, "I was up for a part in the last one! I turned it down though."
"Really?" says Hannibal, "How come?"
"I had a problem with the wardrobe," she replies, "There wasn't any."
"Ah, that would be where I attacked the nude beach."
"Too bad," says Face, "I bet you would have been great in the role."
"When they weren't taking falls to make Burt and Lonnie look good, they were bounty hunters," explains McAllister.
"Bounty hunters?" says Hannibal.
"Stunt people don't get paid the same big money that the actors get," says Colt.
"If I had known that a bounty hunter that looks like her was after me," says Face, "I would have allowed myself to get caught years ago."
"And last but not least is my student, Max Keller."
"Your student?" says Hannibal, "You teaching people to crash bomber planes?"
"Actually," says Max, "He's teaching me to be a ninja."
"A ninja?"
"Thirty years is a long time, my friend," replies McAllister, "And who is this you have with you?"
"This is my team. Here's my first officer, and acquisitions officer, Lieutenant Templeton 'Face Man' Peck. The big guy with the charming smile is our mechanic, Sergeant B.A. Barracus." B.A. growls at his introduction, "This here is our pilot, Captain H.M. 'Howling Mad' Murdock. And this lovely lady with us is our friend, ace investigative reporter Amy Amanda Allen. We're The A-Team."
"The A-Team?" says Enos, "Hot damn! I can't believe I didn't recognize you guys! We had your wanted posters up in the office back at Hazzard County! I'll be damned! The A-Team!" he turns to Daisy, "In the Vietnam War, these guys robbed the Bank of Hanoi! Made off with a half a billion dollars!"
"Actually it was more like a hundred million," says Face, "I guess you can say we had a yen for a little extra cash."
The rest of the team groans at the pun.
"Oh Face Man," whines Murdock, "That joke is so old."
"So?" replies Face, "So is the crime we were accused of."
"So what now Hannibal?" asks Amy.
"Well if Johnny and his group have no objections, I was thinking we could stay the night."
"After all we've been through together?" says McAllister, "I'd be offended if you didn't."
"All right! B.A. I need you to park the van right behind this RV here. Once it's in place, I need you and Face to grab some flashlights and hammers out of the back and make sure that none of the walkers are still moving. Especially the ones you ran over with the van, they're the most likely to have broken bodies but not necessarily be killed."
"Hannibal," says Face, "Can't Murdock have a turn? I mean, I just got these new boots and . . . "
"Move it Lieutenant!"
Face and B.A. head over to the van. "Great," grumbles the lieutenant, "I liked these boots."
"Shut up fool!" growls B.A., "You didn't even buy them! You just scrounged them out of a boot store!"
"Hey, they were the last pair of stingray boots left in my size. Now I'll probably get walker sludge all over them. They'll be ruined."
B.A. just shakes his head as he and Face Man climb into his van. Hannibal then turns to Murdock.
"Captain," he says, "As soon as the van is in place, I want you to reload, grab some night vision goggles, climb up on top of the RV, and take up watch!"
"Right Colonel!" replies Murdock with a sharp salute.
"Is there anything I can do Hannibal?" asks Amy.
"Sure, kid," replies the colonel, "Once the van is parked you can take an inventory of our ammunition. See how much we have left."
"Right."
"All right you guys!" shouts McAllister, "Let's move these vehicles and make some room!"
Immediately the rest of the group jumps into action, widening their circle of cars and trucks to make room for B.A.'s van. When Max finishes moving his van so that B.A. can squeeze his van into their circle of cars, McAllister walks up to his pupil and hands him the ninjato sword.
"I want you to help B.A. and Face," he says, "And try and recover as many arrows and throwing knives as you can."
"Shouldn't the scavenger hunt wait until daylight, when they're easier to spot?"
"We may need them again before the sun rises," replies The Master, "Humour me."
"You're the boss."
"And Max . . ."
"I know, I know. If I get bit, you'll stab me through the brain. Just promise me you'll take care of Henry if that ever happens."
"You got it," says the old ninja with a mischievous grin.
Max grabs a flashlight from his glove compartment and goes to do as he was asked. Meanwhile, Hannibal walks over to his old war buddy.
"So what the heck were you thinking?" Hannibal asks him, "Building a bonfire by the lake like you did? Don't you know that walkers are attracted to light? You were one of the best soldiers I have ever served with. And you're a ninja! You should know better."
"It was a calculated risk," says the master ninja, "The boys had shot a deer this morning. After butchering it, we stuffed as much as we could in the RV's fridge, but the fridge isn't very large so we had to cook the rest so it wouldn't go bad right away."
"You have a fridge?" asks Hannibal, "Full of meat? Fresh meat?"
"Yep," agrees McAllister, "What have you guys got?"
"Spam and Beanie-Weenies mostly," says Hannibal, "We also got a case of fruit cocktail, several boxes of skim milk powder, and a case of canned condensed milk. Weapons wise we have these four Rugers, four AR-15 assault rifles, two Uzis, an M-60, several handguns of various models and calibers, an M79 grenade launcher, as well as whatever we could scavenge along the way. How about you?"
"The Duke boys and I all have bows and arrows," replies McAllister, "Plus I have all of my other ninja equipment. Enos has his service revolver and shotgun. The Angels each has a .38 caliber revolver, plus there are three hunting rifles in the RV. A .22, a 30-30, and a 30-06. Unfortunately they ran out of ammunition for them some time ago. Colt and Jody have a variety of weapons stored in his truck. Most notably an AK-47, a couple of shotguns, and several revolvers."
Everyone who isn't working at securing the camp sits down around the fire. Daisy fixes Hannibal a plate of food and hands it to him, which the colonel accepts graciously. Once everyone has settled down on a stump or a log, Hannibal decides to get to know his hosts better.
"So," says the colonel, "How did you all come to be traveling together?"
"Max and I were on our way to Atlanta following up on a clue as to my daughter's whereabouts," replies McAllister.
"You have a daughter?" says Hannibal, just a little shocked, "Since when?"
"Apparently about twenty five years ago," replies The Master, "I got a letter in the mail about a year ago, when I was living in Japan. It was from Terri, telling me she was in trouble and needed my help. I've been looking for her ever since."
"And when did you meet Max?"
"Almost as soon as I arrived in the US. He and I made an arrangement. He would help me find my daughter . . ."
"And you would teach him to be a ninja," concludes Hannibal.
"How about you girls?" Hannibal asks The Angels.
"Our boss, Charlie, sent us to Atlanta to try and find a famous microbiologist who had disappeared," explains Jill, "We were in the middle of our search when the entire city was quarantined. The next thing we knew all hell broke loose. People were getting infected and attacking others. Eventually the military started just gunning everyone down, not just the walkers. The streets were being firebombed. The Angels and I, as well as a handful of other survivors, took to the sewers and managed to make our way to the edge of the city. We slipped past the blockade and headed up the highway. We found that RV. It used to belong to a family. Unfortunately, it appeared one of them had been infected, and turned on the rest of his family. We cleared the RV of walkers and commandeered it as our own. Then we ran into McAllister, and the rest, as they say, is history."
"How about you, deputy?"
"First I heard of the virus was when Boss Hogg's wife, Lulu, got sick," replies Enos, "She died in her sleep. Boss was sure broken up over her, cryin' at her bedside. But then she woke up. Boss was happy, right up until she bit his throat out. Roscoe, he was the sheriff and Lulu's baby brother, well he tried to stop her, but then both Boss and Lulu attacked him and just ate him up. They even ate his dog Flash! Well when I saw what was goin' on, I warned everyone to stay away from Boss Hogg and Lulu. I went to the local pub, The Boar's Nest, and I picked up Daisy and I brought her right home to the Duke family farm."
"Enos told Uncle Jesse and the boys what was goin' on in town," says Daisy, "So we made preparations to be able to make a quick getaway if needed, then boarded up the house and barricaded ourselves inside. We made sure to bring in the goat and a bunch of the hens so we would at least have a ready supply of eggs and milk if the farm ever got overrun."
"Sure enough, the infection swept through Hazzard County like wildfire," says Enos, "And everyone that had turned came to the Duke family farm looking for fresh meat."
"Our other cousins, Vance and Coy, were visiting us from the NASCAR circuit," says Luke, "So to be able to make it to the cars, we tossed the chickens out the window as a distraction, then made a break for it."
"Sounds sensible," says Hannibal.
"Well," continues Luke, "Uncle Jesse wasn't as young, or as healthy as he used to be. Plus, he was shootin' walkers with his double barrel shotgun as he ran. And we didn't know at the time that ya have to shoot 'em in the head."
"Let me guess . . ." says Hannibal.
"Uncle Jesse got overwhelmed," says Luke, "Walkers dragged him down to the ground and began eatin' him. Vance and Coy went back to try and help, but it was too late, and they both ended up gettin' bit."
"When I saw they was bit, I told 'em they had to stay behind," says Enos, "So they grabbed the wood axe and pitchfork from the barn, where the cars were parked, and served as decoys so we could get away."
"Wow," says Hannibal, "I'm very sorry about your family."
"Thank you," says Daisy somberly.
"Colt and I were in Atlanta shooting a movie when this all broke out," says Jody, "Plus we were hunting a fugitive."
"The guy jumped bail after being arrested for credit card fraud," says Colt, "Hardly a hardened criminal. But it's what pays the bills. Luckily he had been spotted in the Atlanta area and all I had to do was bring him into the local courthouse. Of course that was right about when the army moved in to quarantine the city."
"So you made your way out of the city just in time, found these guys, and the rest is history," says Hannibal.
"Pretty much."
Face and B.A. return to the camp, carrying sledgehammers covered in gore. With them is Max, with the ninjato tucked in his belt and a bundle of arrows in his hand.
"No walkers are gonna be moving tonight," says Face.
"Good work fellas," says Hannibal, "Now grab a couple of rifles and night vision goggles and join Murdock on watch. Each of you pick a van and guard our flanks."
"Hannibal . . ." says Face.
"Face," Hannibal interrupts him, "These people are sharing their camp and their food with us. The least we can do is take over sentry duty for them. We can burn the bodies tomorrow. Their smell should help mask our own and camouflage the camp for the night."
"I got my van," says B.A. as he heads over to his van, with Face Man hot on his heels.
Once they had left, Hannibal turns to his old friend. "So when did you become a ninja?"
"After Korea," replies McAllister, "I found myself in Tokyo with a ticket home and nothing to go home to. Something about the tranquility of the place, the people, the culture, just sit well with me. So I stayed."
"And just decided to become a ninja one day?"
"It was a little more complicated than that, but essentially, yes."
Everyone sits around the bonfire and enjoys each other's company quietly for a while. Eventually Jill Munroe goes into the RV and comes back out carrying an acoustic guitar, which she hands to Colt Seavers.
"How about some Unknown Stunt Man?" she says.
Colt takes the guitar and strums it a couple of times. He adjusts the strings a few times to get it in tune. Then he starts plucking the strings in a fun country style tune.
"I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I've been seen with Farrah
I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine
I've been on fire with Sally Field, gone fast with a girl named Bo
But somehow they just don't end up as mine.
It's a death defying life I lead, I take my chances
I die for a living in the movies and TV.
But the hardest thing I'll ever do is watch my leading ladies,
Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee.
I might fall from a tall building, or roll a brand new car,
'Cause I'm the unknown stunt man that makes Redford such a star.
I never spent much time in school, but I've taught ladies plenty
It's true I hire my body out for pay, hey hey.
I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Raquel Welch
But when I wind up in the hay it's only hay, hey hey
I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine
'Cause I'm the unknown stunt man, that makes Eastwood look so fine
They'll never make me President, but I got the best First Ladies
Some days I got 'em as far as the eye can see, ouee
A morning dove with Jacky Smith, a crash in the night with Cheryl
But in the end they never stay with me
I might fall from a tower building, so Burt Reynolds don't get hurt
I might leap the mighty canyon, so he can kiss and flirt.
While that smooth talker's kissing my girl, I'm just kissing dirt
Yes I'm the lonely stunt man, that made a lover out of Burt.
Hannibal claps his hands in appreciation of the song, as do many of the others around the fire. Tonight may have started out with bloodshed, but it is nice to be able to relax and enjoy yourself every once in a while. Soon Amy approaches the colonel.
"So what's the word kid?" he asks her.
"We still have plenty of ammo for the AR-15's," she tells him, "As well as the M-60, and the Uzis. We're running low on ammo for the Rugers, and the handguns. We still have a fair number of grenades for the grenade launcher, as well as hand grenades."
"How about food?"
"For the five of us? Maybe a month worth if we ration it. For everyone in this camp? We'll be lucky to last a week."
"Well, sit down and have something to eat," says the colonel, "You did good tonight."
"Should I take some to the guys?"
"In a little bit," replies Hannibal, "Daisy just put some vegetables on to cook for them. Their food should be done cooking by the time you've finished eating."
Amy sits down and is handed a plate by Daisy. Colt plucks away at the guitar strings a little more, then hands the instrument over to Luke.
"Here," says the former stunt man, "How about some Good Ol' Boys?"
Luke smiles as he takes up the guitar. The addition of five new, heavily armed and highly trained individuals to the group, especially as their leader and McAllister are old army buddies, has put him in a much cheerier mood. Granted, it is five more mouths to feed. But it's also more guns, more ammunition, and more people to fire them. The dark haired ex-marine begins plucking the guitar strings in a cheerful melody, and then begins to sing.
"Just a good ol' boys
Never meanin' no harm
Beats all you never saw
Been in trouble with the law
Since the day they was born
Straightnin' the curves
Flatnin' the hills
Someday the mountain might get 'em
But the law never will
Makin' their way
The only way they know how
That's just a little bit more
Than the law will allow.
Makin' their way
The only way they know how
That's just a little more
Than the law will allow.
I'm a good ol' boy
You know my momma loves me
But she don't understand
They keep showing my hands and not my face on TV
Just good ol' boys
Wouldn't change if they could
Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood."
Once again there is a round of applause as Luke finishes the Waylon Jennings song. Certain that the immediate danger is past, at least for tonight, many in the group feel a great sense of relief and are able to relax and enjoy themselves. At least for a little while.