TROJAN MAN:

11 years ago...

I was leaving The Broken Shillelagh a little tipsy from several shots of tequila. Johnny, my best friend, was dead after sacrificing himself during a mission to save the crew. There was no one braver than Johnny Gat. With him gone, The Saints were left weakened and it was up to me to pick up the slack. I did my best to remain tough and in good spirits, but in reality I was taking it extremely hard. The only person having a harder time dealing with his death had to be my girl Shaundi. "My girl", I never really knew why I'd call her that. We never hooked up, but she was the only woman in my life to ever stick around. We were friends. She had no problem calling me out or saying what was on her mind, even if she knew I wouldn't listen. I may have pretended to ignore her, but I always listened.

As I drove down the street, I grabbed my phone and hit her number on the speed dial. It only rang once.

"Hey, Shaundi I was-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She answered. Her gruffness took me off guard.

"Whoa, hey. What did I do?"

"A party? We're throwing a fucking party now?"

I furrowed my brow. "A party? I didn't...shit, PIerce." I said in annoyance.

Shaundi let out a sharp breath into the phone. "Oh, I am gonna kill him."

"Hold on, Shaundi. You're not killing Pierce."

"You're taking his side?"

"I'm not doing anything...not until I talk to him. Alright?"

I could sense Shaundi's eyes roll. "Fine, I'll see you at the penthouse."

The phone clicked as she hung up. I knew Zimos had something to do with this. Ever since he joined The Saints, he'd been a huge influence on Pierce. The two of them planned this. Frankly, I was a little upset that I didn't know about it. The party was at my crib after all.

I made my way up to the crib in the elevator. When the doors opened to the penthouse, I was met with Shaundi's angry stare. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was tapping her foot on the ground in anger.

"What took you so damn long?" she asked.

"Traffic." I replied.

"Traffic? Really?" She dropped her arms to her side and gestured to me. "This coming from a guy who drives on the sidewalk for fun."

"I'm here aren't I?" I retorted and walked past her. I looked around the crib and searched through a sea of strippers. "Where's Pierce?"

"On the fucking balcony with Z. I honestly don't know why you let him join us."

"It's all about connections, Shaundi." I followed a blonde stripper in a nurses outfit with my eyes as she walked by.

"Connections, huh?" Shaundi slapped the back of my head. "The only connection I see is the one pushing against your zipper."

"Impressed?" I asked with a smile.

Shaundi rolled her eyes. "Fuck you." She said as she made her way upstairs.

I did my best to keep up with her, but she was pissed. It's hard to keep up with a woman on a mission. We rushed up to the balcony and came up behind Pierce and Zimos. Shaundi twirled Pierce around and stared at him through daggers. "Johnny's dead and you're throwing a fucking party?"

Pierce stepped back a tad. "Well, when you say it like that, sure it sound bad."

Zimos leaned in and pressed his golden microphone to the open hole in his neck. "I was saddled up in a human pony show, but do you see me cryin' about it, little girl?" He said in auto-tune. Jesus, I hated that fucking auto-tuned voice of his.

Shaundi pointed to Z's mic. "I swear to God, I will shove that thing down your throat hole." She said. I kinda wished she would. I sure as hell wouldn't stop her.

Pierce stepped between them. "Whoa, Shaundi. We can't mourn Gat forever. Eventually we gotta get back on the horse."

I sighed. "He's right."

Shaundi glared at me and put her hands in the air. "Whatever." She turned to leave and I grabbed her arm.

"Shaundi, wait."

"Let go." She demanded.

"I wasn't finished," I told her. "Will you just wait a minute?"

Shaundi crossed her arms and clenched her jaw.

"First off, no more parties without my say so." I pointed to Pierce and Zimos. "Second, everyone mourns in their own way, but for fuck's sake. It's only been a little over a week since we lost Gat. My girl needs more time to adjust."

"Wait, what?" Shaundi intervened. "I'm not your girl."

"Shaundi, I didn't-"

"I don't need you to defend me. And, I'm not your fucking property. I'm a Saint just as much as the rest of you. It'd be nice if my voice was heard for once without someone with a tiny appendage between their legs repeating what I've already said."

"Damn, girl," said Pierce. "That's cold."

Shaundi backed away from us. "You know what? Have your fucking party. I'm outta here."

Shaundi turned around and stormed toward the elevator. I called for her but the doors closed before I even opened my mouth. "Shit," I said under my breath. I turned to Pierce. "If anything gets broken, you're responsible."

"Yeah, yeah." He replied with a wave of his hand as I rushed after Shaundi.

I arrived at Shaundi's ex-boyfriend's crib where we stayed once we first arrived in Steelport. I knocked on the beaten door and waited for an answer. The sound of footsteps nearing the door signaled to me that she was there.

"Dammit," I heard Shaundi say, her voice muffled from inside. The door swung open. "What are you doing here? And, why the hell are you knocking? You have a key."

I shrugged. "I figured it would be more polite."

Shaundi stared at me in disbelief. "Polite? You? You must be drunk."

I smirked and lifted a brown paper bag housing a bottle of whiskey. She returned my grin and brought a wine glass out from behind the door. She stepped aside to let me in and shut the door behind me. "So, what are you doing here? What aren't you at the party?"

"I-I really don't know." I plopped down on the couch and took a swig of whiskey. "It just seemed wrong."

Shaundi sat down next to me and tucked her bare feet under a dusty blanket. "What did?"

I was silent for a moment. I stared at the television broadcasting a grainy picture of Ghenki's Super Ethical Reality Climax. I grabbed the remote and turned it off. I closed my eyes.

"Boss?" asked Shaundi.

I let out a breath. "I miss him too."

Shaundi twirled her finger around the rim of her glass.

"It wasn't your fault you know." I told her after a moment. "I know you think it was your fault, but he chose to stay behind."

"Yeah, so you could protect me." She said solemnly and bowed her head. "I AM helpless."

"He did it to protect both of us." I placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head. "And, you're not helpless. You're the strongest woman I know. You're a Saint. Johnny believed that and it's time you did too."

Shaundi looked at me in confusion. "Boss, are you alright? You're acting...nice."

I cleared my throat and lifted my bottle. "It's the whiskey." I raised it in the air. "To Johnny, the best son of a bitch I know."

"To Johnny," said Shaundi softly.

We clinked our glass together and each took long drinks. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever until I heard her sigh. I watched her tuck a bit of hair behind her ear and felt my face get hot.

"Shaundi?" I asked.

"Hmmm?"

"How come..."I cleared my throat."I mean, um, whatever happened to that guy who won your dating show?"

"Puerto Rican Thunder God?" She smiled and set her empty wine glass on the table. "He was nice and all, but performance didn't quite live up to the name. Why?"

I shook my head and straightened up in my seat. "No-no reason." I cleared my throat again. "It's just that... and this may be the booze talking, but...how come you have ex's in every city and were willing to go on a dating show, but... you never once gave me a shot."

"Are you asking for one?"

I turned to look at her. I met her soft hazel eyes and grew extremely nervous. "Well, no...I mean...yes...but...only if you want to...I-"

Shaundi brought a finger to my lips to cut my rambling short. She leaned in close and removed her finger before whispering softly in my ear. "Are you asking for a shot?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes."

"Then what do you say we make up for lost time?" She pressed her soft, supple lips against mine.

"Ohmkay," I said as she slipped her tongue in my mouth. Everything after that happened so fast.

She pulled me down on top of her and I lifted my shirt over my head. Her nails clawed eagerly at my back and I pressed my hips into hers. A soft moan escaped her. I left her lips and trailed down to her neck. Her legs wrapped around me. Her hips ground against the crotch of my jeans. I couldn't wait and unzipped while she removed her pants. We came together again in a heated fashion. Her fingers gripped my hair as I started to thrust into her.

"Wait," she said into my ear. She placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back. "Do you have a condom?"

I cocked my head at the question. "Uh, yeah. I think so." I rummaged through my pockets and found a metallic square package. "I found one. Just a second."

"Oh, good." Her breathing was hard and heavy. "Hurry."

"Alright." I brought the package to my mouth and ripped it open with my teeth. I spit the ripped piece across the room.

"Come on," said a breathless Shaundi. "How hard is it to put on a fucking condom?"

"I'm going as fast as I can. I am drunk remember?" I started to unravel the latex circle on my dick when it snapped apart. My eyes widened. "Oh, shit."

Shaundi lifted her head. "What? What's wrong?"

I pushed her back down. "Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine."

Our lips met again and I entered her quickly, yet gently. I loved her warmth. And the way she'd arch her back in ecstasy with each thrust of my hips. God, she was breathtaking. I didn't want the moment to end. But, it did. Rather quickly in fact. Being drunk, my stamina wasn't what it used to be. I came, hard and fast and passed out on top of her. What an embarrassment. I finally got to sleep with the girl of every man's dreams and I blew it. Good thing we're both too drunk to remember everything that happened that night.