Hello, All! I would just like to thank (and other things, for some) my wonderful (and sometimes misguided) reviewers!

Thank you, everyone, for giving POSITIVE reviews! They were so nice and made me want to start frolicking under a rainbow with some unicorns!

And, no thank you, for you people who gave NEGATIVE reviews. I will point out a few points:

1. This story is humorous, if you even have a sense of humor
2. They have edited the crossover way of doing things (You can only crossover two books now). Not only that, but I am crossing over eight stories, so that would be too many to do the new crossover feature.
3. The spelling and grammar mistake in Empress Montana's section were deliberate, obviously. Did I write like that for the rest of the story? No, I didn't.
4. I only changed POVs many times so that you could see the similarities between each different story. Starting in this chapter, I'm going to do specific POVs. And, yes, I will notify you which one I am using.
5. I know no one has said this yet, but I know the characters are OOC. They're supposed to be.
6. Sorry, I'm not taking Spongebob out. He rules.

Now, for the happy part!

Chapter Two

(Harry POV) (Post Order of the Phoenix, before Half-Blood Prince)

So, I was just wandering the corridors like I usually did when Dumbledore came up to me!

"Harry," he said. "Remember how I told you we are having new students come here?"

"Yes." Of course I remembered! What did he think I was, stupid?

"Well, they are arriving right now." He pointed out a window at seven helicopters landing near the lake.

"WHOA! Why are they using Muggle transportation?"

"Harry, it's time I told you the truth. Here at Hogwarts we are not all wizards."

"Then how do we all do magic?" I was utterly confounded.

"It's a magical thing called Mist, Harry. Your new friends that are exiting their helicopters will tell you all about it!"

While I opened my mouth to protest, Dumbledore shuffled off. So I decided to go outside to meet the new students.

Later

So, I was standing near one of the helicopters when several people exited: one blonde, one redhead, one depressing-looking lad, one half-goat-thing-person, and one boy just as wimpy as I was! I knew I was going to have fun!

"Hi!" I said to the boy. "My name is Harry Potter! What's your name?"

"I'm Percy Jackson!" said the boy. "Wow! Is it just me, or do we look a lot alike?"

I looked him over as he looked me over, and I found that we WERE exactly alike, except for my glasses. I actually didn't need them, but I thought they looked cool. So I wore them. And pretended that I needed them.

"We must be twins!" I said.

The blonde girl rolled her eyes at me in a very Hermione-like way. "Oh, Harry, that's impossible. He's a son of Poseidon. And your parents are dead, aren't they?"

I sniffled, and then sobbed, "Yes. My parents are... are... are... d-d-d-d-d-d-"

"-Ead," finished Percy.

Then another helicopter landed, and yet another boy with black hair exited, and with another blonde, but also with a two-foot-tall redhead. How queer!

"Look out, England! Artemis Fowl has arrived!" declared the boy. All of us started cracking up.

"Oh, Artemis," said the midget. "Stop being so... arrogant."

The boy came up to Percy and me.

"This is weird," we all said. Artemis also looked just like us, besides his blue eyes.

A third helicopter landed.

"How many are there?" I whined.

A boy with brown hair and blonde girl (again) got off. The boy looked us all over critically, like he was an assassin that was figuring out the best way to kill us. We were going to be great friends, I could tell!

"Come over here," demanded the boy named Artemis.

The brown-haired person said, "How do I know that you're all not evil?"

"Because you look just like us!" Percy said. It was true- the brown-haired boy looked just like us in everything except hair color. What was happening?

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Gregor," he said after a little while. "Why?"

I pointed to myself. "Well, I'm Harry- Harry Potter. Maybe you've heard of me?"

"Oh, you're the star of those books, right? The Harry Potter series?" Gregor asked, open-mouthed.

"What books?! I'm me, and I'm not in any books!"

"Hey, are we at Hogwarts?" Percy asked. "School for wizards?"

"You're Percy Jackson!" I realized. "And you're The Artemis Fowl? And you must be Gregor the Overlander!"

"I'm not in any books," said Artemis. "You all are, but I certainly am not. My devious little plans are still unknown to the government! And if I was in books, wouldn't they know what I was up to?"

"I'm not in books either," Percy pouted. "I can't be! But all of your books are ah-mazing, if I do say so myself."

"I'm in no books either," snorted Gregor. "I'm an Overlander that lives in the Underland. 'Nuf said."

The girls had already figured it out, I think. And I noticed that Hermione had joined them in their girl-huddle.

They said in unison, "We're all characters in books! Can't you idiots realize that?"

All of us boys looked at each other, then at the girls. And we were gaping.

Stopping the awkward silence, another helicopter landed. A brunette teenage girl, a tall, brooding, pale caveman, and a very tall Native American exited.

"This is Hogwarts?" the girl said sourly. "La-aame."

"Yes. Very lame," said the caveman.

The Native American came up to us, and I realized he towered over us by at least four feet.

"Hello, small people," he said pleasantly. "I'm Jacob Black."

Artemis Fowl's blonde friend shrieked and fainted. Then she stood up and ran over to Jacob.

She said rapidly, "OMG-You're-in-Twilight-I-love-Twilight-you-are-such-an-awesome-character-will-you-marry-me-please-my-name-is-Juliet-Butler-Juliet-Black-would-be-a-cool-name-don't-you-think?"

"North Dakota!" Jacob said.

Juliet hugged him tightly. Jacob mouthed to Artemis, "Help!"

Artemis said, "She's an unstoppable force of nature." Then he shrugged.

Percy's blonde friend pointed to the caveman. "That makes you Edward-Cedric? Eeew. Oh, yeah. I'm Annabeth."

The caveman, Edward-Cedric, looked hurt. He said in a very surly way, "Yes. I am Edward-Cedric. And this is Bella." The brunette waved at the girls. "This is Hogwarts?"

Another helicopter landed. An animated boy with a big head got off with two floating things.

"I'm Timmy Turner!" he said in his girl-voice.

"You have a TV show!" everyone of us, including the girls (which means Edward-Cedric too) said.

"You all have books!" he screeched. "These are Cosmo and Wanda, my fairies!"

The midget redhead said offended-ly, "Hey, I'm a fairy. I know fairies. Hate to break it to ya, but they're really enchanted yaks."

"Yep," said Cosmo-the-yak.

Timmy sobbed, "You lied to me!"

"Yep," said Wanda-the-yak.

A sixth helicopter landed, and we all groaned. When the door opened, a flood of water emptied out. One giant sponge with a goldfish bowl on its head came out looking very joyous.

"SPONGEBOB!" we all cheered.

"That's me!" he smiled. "Who are you all? Do you know Sandy? She's from up here too, you know."

"Sandy Cheeks? The squirrel?" clarified Artemis Fowl. We all looked at him. "What? I love Spongebob's show!"

"I have a show? On television?" I didn't think it was physically possible for a sponge to smile so brightly!

Then a seventh helicopter landed.

"Is that the last one?" all the girls complained.

"Make way for Hannah Montana!" said a whiny black-haired boy.

"Hey, come over here!" all of us look-alikes said. But- nope- for once someone didn't look like us! Yay!

"Make way now!" said yet another blonde said, before joining the girls.

"I'm HEEERE, ya'll!" twanged a voice.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" we said miserably.

Stay tuned!