Years passed, and as they grew older, it seemed like they were drifting apart farther and farther apart each day. It started when Peter started coming home late.
Really late.
Whenever Harry asked what happened, all he got was a light hearted shrug. "Work was busy."
Harry didn't question it, though. He trusted Peter. And he knew that trust is one of the basic foundations of a healthy relationship.
And then the trust line started getting really blurry.
It was one morning, a night after they made love. Peter was dead asleep, but Harry was wide awake, staring at the ceiling.
All those years ago, their love felt magnetic. It sent electric shockwaves that shook Harry down to the core. The euphoric feeling would swell Harry's insides up with an undesirable amount of happiness that would leave a smile on his face for weeks that followed.
But this felt different.
It felt careless.
Peter didn't take his time like he used to. Using his fingertips to trace over every inch of Harry's bare skin. Gently, like Harry's body was made out of glass that could easily shatter.
The other male's hands were… indifferent. They had no emotion, no feeling.. they just held onto any piece of skin that Harry's body possessed.
Peter had been distant lately.
Different than how he was before.
Everything between the two, just became less and less.
Before, Peter used to come home as soon as possible so Harry wouldn't be left in the house alone. They would cuddle, watch movies, or just go out. They used to talk about everything. Their worries, their fears.. things they wanted to accomplish together.. their future.
And then one day, everything just stopped.
Peter came home late, Harry called, worried sick.
No answer.
When the brown eyed brunette finally decided to show his face, he told Harry not to worry. He was fine, and work ran late.
Harry thought about it often, what it would be like without Peter in his life. The sheer thought of being alone again, brought tears to his eyes. The overwhelming thought of being stuffed under a mass of sadness, anger, and frustration.. suffocating him until he could no longer breathe, each attempt of a breath, taking up more energy than the last. Leaving his body paralyzed and unable to move.
A text message interrupted him from his thoughts.
His arm reached for the phone closest to him.
It was Peter's.
And there was a text from Gwen.
"We're still on for today, right?"
He remembered her, from their childhood. Harry was home-schooled, but Peter and her went to school together. All the days Peter would mouth on about how perfect she was, and how he had a huge crush on her since he could remember, made Harry slightly jealous.
He stopped after he and Harry started dating, but maybe that small spark of attraction never went away…
'No.' Harry stopped his thoughts. 'Peter isn't like that, he wouldn't do that to me.'
But the blue eyed male reread the message, begging for an explanation. But his mind couldn't muster up one.
'They're just friends.' He repeated to himself. 'Nothing more.'
But deep down, he had trouble believing that. What if Peter.. didn't want him anymore.. He was no longer good enough to satisfy his needs because he found someone.. better.
More attractive
Smarter
Someone that was enough.
Before Harry knew it, his breathing started to stagger. He curled up onto his side and allowed the warm tears to slide down his face. Soaking his pillow to form big, dark puddles. He was going to be alone, until the end of eternity because no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried to be the perfect son, or the perfect boyfriend, it wasn't enough.
He felt that he wasn't enough.
"Har..?" A groggy voice whispered.
Harry didn't notice how hard he had been crying until he heard Peter stir behind him. A warm arm wrapped around the Osborn's waist, pulling him closer to the bare chested figure behind him. Delicate kisses were laid on the back of Harry's head, each coaxed in…. a sense of comfort… but not affection.
"Are you alright?" Peter asked.
Blue eyes blinked out the tears, and wiped them off of his face.
'He loves me, he does.'
"Yeah.." Harry sniffled. "Just a nightmare, I'm fine."
The brunette removed his arm and got out of bed. "Okay..." he muttered. "I'm heading out to work."
'Okay?'
That surprised Harry.
Whenever Harry woke up crying, Peter wouldn't rest until Harry told him what was wrong. He would lay the sweetest kisses on Harry's skin, whispering reassuring words on how he could trust him, and that everything would be alright. But now, it seemed like Peter could care less on how Harry was feeling.
Like he had more important things on his mind.
-
Peter got ready in silence, ignoring Harry completely. But It wasn't a comfortable soothing silence like it used to be. It was thick tension that seemed to be sucking up all of the air in the room. It seemed like years had passed before Harry finally gathered the courage to say something, anything.
"Do you.. want to do something later this afternoon?" He asked.
Silence.
Harry turned to face the brown eyed brunette, who was packing his things up by the bedroom door.
"Pete?"
He saw brown eyes glance up for a millisecond, before turning their attention back to the item in his hands.
"Peter."
"Hmmmm?" He hummed, not bothering to look up at Harry. Who's gentle blue eyes were staring at him with so much love that overflew from his body. But It must've not of been enough, because Peter stopped looking at him the same way a long while ago.
"Do you want to spend time together this evening?"
'Please...please..say yes.. if anything, at the least please remember today is our anniversary.'
Peter hesitated, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I-I can't today, Har.."
'Work might end late'
"Work might end late tonight, and my boss with get even more angrier than usual."
"Oh." Harry murmured. There was an obvious strain of hurt in his voice.
The brunette was out the door in a flash, most likely trying to avoid a follow up conversation. "I gotta go, See you later, Har."
When Harry was alone, he let the words Peter said seep into his mind.
There was no "I love you" at the end like there used to be.
-
Eventually, Harry get ready for work himself. Oscorp didn't require too much attention, so he didn't get off of work that late.
Once he was ready to leave, he realized something.
Peter left his phone.
With the message from Gwen, still on the screen.
'He wouldn't do that to me'
'He isn't like that.'
He cleared Peter's lock screen and took his phone with him. He might as well give to him on his way to work.
-
One he entered the bugle, he was surprised as how big it looked on the inside. He would admit, it looked a little small and run down from the outside. There were numerous desks scattered everywhere with the constant sounds of printers shooting out newspapers. People were scampering back and forth, doing thousands of other things at the same time. It was strange.. Oscorp was more organized, people were more poised and quiet.
'It doesn't matter, I need to find Peter.'
His eyes scanned around until the landed on a pretty brunette, sitting at a desk typing some things on a computer.
He walked up to her and smiled. "Hi, Do you know where I can find Peter's office? I need to return something to him."
She looked up at Harry the exact same way, "yep." She grinned. "Keep on going straight and it's the last door to your left."
"Thank you."
"Anytime."
Harry followed her instructions and walked along the hall to reach the last door.
He paused.
Why was he scared to open the door?
He shook his head and laughed at his own insecurity. It's just Peter, going through some photos, what could possibly be on the other side?
Knock
Knock
No answer.
'Maybe he's not here, maybe he went out with Gwen and they're...'
He internally told himself to shut up. Peter isn't like that, he would never do that. If there was a problem in their relationship he would tell him. They would talk about it, they would get through it.
"Peter?" Harry called. Knocking once more.
Silence.
Osborn decided it was best to just open the door, and leave Peter's phone on his desk. Maybe he could call and check up on him later.
So he did open the door.
His heartbeat became non existent, as his ears made him feel like he was underwater, the sounds were unclear and muffled. All the doubts, the fears, and the insecure feelings came crashing down on him like an overwhelming sea, suffocating him, making it impossible to breathe.
Peter was there.
But he wasn't alone.
He was with Gwen.
They were both undressed, their clothes scattered lazily along the room. Everything that once consisted on the desk lied on the wooden floor. Broken glass cups, pencils , pens, even Spider-man photos.
Harry's mind went back to a time when He and Peter were making love, and all of the compassion that he once had, the emotion, and the warmth that Peter gave, dissapered.
And now, Harry knew what it manifested into.
Gwen's naked body lied flat onto the wooden desk, her blonde hair illuminating the dull color scheme of Peter's office. The curly strands of gold were spread out, tangled in a way, that still looked perfect. Her legs were spread wide open, which was where Peter was in between. Her red nails, were wrapped around Peter's bare back gripping tightly with emotion.
His hands were fondling her chest, with gradual motions that made her back arch with enough pleasure to fill hundreds of lifetimes. Her sparkling green eyes were closed shut, and her blood rushed up towards her face, making it as red as her lips. But not in a bad way of course, the thin ruby lines were stretched out into a grin. She was laughing, and there were tears of joy slipping out of her eyelids.
Peter wasn't crying though.
He laid large thrusts into Gwen's body, each shaking her body a little more each time. He let out a moan that was filled with such satisfaction and gratitude for the woman in front of him. Their bodies were both glistening with sweat the longer they stayed together. Peter looked so happy. His eyes were closed too, but if they were open, they would be filled with such passion, contempt, and appreciation for the moment that he was currently in. Harry only knew, because that's the way he was looked at, a long long time ago.
Harry's body was still, his knuckles were turning white due to him gripping so tightly onto Peter's phone. He wanted to chuck the phone at Peter's head. Throw anything in his general direction, but he wouldn't, he couldn't.
Everything was in pain.
His eyes were stinging as his vision started to blur. He had to bite down hard on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Each of his limbs felt disconnected from his body. His mind was telling him to place the phone on the counter and leave, never look back, take all of Peter's things and chuck it outside of their apartment.
But his heart said nothing, he couldn't feel it anymore.
Before, it was damaged and torn apart from his dad. All of the years of emotional abuse and child neglect for most of his life. When he met Peter, he was barely hanging on, his heart was being held together by a single thread.
Then, it gradually became whole again, piece by piece, thread by thread. He felt loved, he felt appreciated, and that's all he ever wanted.
But now, when he saw Peter, holding Gwen, the same way he used to hold him. With an infinite amount of lust, with gentle hands scurrying his body with such delicacy that left him craving the touch again the next day, Made his heart demolish. All of the threads were ripped out painfully, leaving two broken pieces in its wake. He no longer felt anything anymore. His chest was blank as his body felt numb.
Peter's managed to form words, he was panting with such happiness and enjoyment towards her. "I l-love you." He breathed. "I've always loved you and only you.."
Gwen lifted herself up and used her arms to wrap Peter into a warm and thoughtful embrace. Their face's only millimeters apart. Her red lips and his moist ones grazing onto each others. "Say it again…" she whispered.
The brown eyed brunette used one of his arms to hold the side of her moist body, and the other one to cup the side of her face, brushing the strands of hair out of it. Revealing his one true love, sweaty and out of breath she was, but still marvelous in Peter's eyes.
"I love you.. Gwendolyn Stacy.." he breathed. His lips starting to caress hers. Not exactly a kiss, but almost there. Leaving her whimpering for more. "You are the most important and special person in my life.. I love you… and only you.."
And then the action that finally broke Harry, wasn't the words, or the sex.
It was the kiss.
It was as if their lips were like a lock and key. Specifically crafted by the gods to fit perfectly together. Like her body was made for his, and he was made for her. Their lips in ideal synchronization, moving with the flow of the others. Not too fast or slow, the exact same rate. Her hands running through Peter's hair with such excitement, and Peters's hands stroking her bare sides with a fond tenderness that made it look like Gwen was made out of porcelain, and any amount of pressure, would cause her to fall apart.
Harry just stood, watching and waiting. He couldn't say anything, he couldn't do anything. The scene lying in front of his eyes were too much.
Everything was so overwhelming.
And then it happened.
After god knows how long, of him idly standing there. Gwen's eyes peeked open and made their way towards Harry's figure. They widened in fear as she gently nudged Peter's body away. His face was buried deep into her neck, laying dozens of deep kisses there.
"Peter.." she whispered, he voice trembling with a sudden blurt of anxiety. The complete opposite of the carefree feeling from before.
The brunette looked up and tried to lay small kisses on his face, but she pushed his face away, turning her head towards Harry.
And when Peter looked at Harry, dead in the eye. The look on his face screamed of the absence of intimacy he gave to Gwen, that transformed into a self-loathing feeling that drained the color from his face.
"H-Harry…" Peter stuttered.
It was silent in the room for a while. The pair were staring right as Harry, with a feeling a guilt that seemed more like pity.
"W-What are you..umm.. doing here?" Peter asked.
Harry's lips were sealed. He couldn't bring himself to form any type of words. What could he say anyway?
All he did was bite the bottom of his lip to keep it from trembling. He took hesitant steps closer towards them, fiddling the phone in his hands. He placed it on the edge of the table and glanced up at Peter and Gwen. His eyes wanted to be angry, but the bright blue was watered down with the tears attempting to fall out. His eyes bounced from the both of them.
"S-Sorry… for interrupting…" He murmured quietly.
Then he turned and walked towards the door, before Peter's voice almost stopped him in his tracks.
"Harry wait, please."
But he didn't wait. He couldn't stand to be in the presence of them. His boyfriend, ex boyfriend, and someone he once called his friend.
He didn't bother pausing, he made his way towards the door, and opened it as silently as he closed it.
-
Harry ditched work and slowly walked home.
Once he reached the inside.
All hell broke loose.
Luckily he made it to the bed before he collapsed. He let all of the emotions over flowing his subconscious pour out. His whole body was trembling as monstrous sobs came from his lips. He didn't know how long he was crying, but he felt like a jackhammer was pounding into the side of his head. There were so many tears that the left side of his face was soaked. His throat was filled with them as he couldn't breathe for a couple moments. But he didn't care about that.
No one would care if he died, not really.
The desolation that his body had, resided inside of his heart.
When he was with Peter, his heart was stitched back together. None of the demons could leave. They were trapped inside. And anytime they tried to escape, Peters gentle touch and soothing words would keep them at bay.
But there were no more touches, and no more stitches.
The little demons were free to roam a round Harry's body. And the first place they went to, was his mind.
They made their homes there, not planning to go away, rapidly dividing to colonize and reside deep inside of him for a long time.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw them. Together. Their lips stuck together, moving perfectly. Their pleasurable moans sent waves of envy throughout Harry's body. He was angry, burned down to the core with a fiery rage that made him wonder what he did wrong.
But the thought of his inability to be loved, turned the frustration into sorrow. There was no need to get angry with Peter or Gwen, it wasn't their fault that they were made for one another. They weren't the problem.
Harry felt that he was.
He just wasn't good enough.
He didn't satisfy all of Peter's needs.
He couldn't give him a family, or a future.
All he did was emotionally drain Peter, sucking up his chances of a real life. A happy one.
Without Harry in it.
The rejection he received from his father manifested itself into a strong, dark figure that lurked behind Harry. Ready to swallow any sliver of joy he possessed. Snuffing his small light out, trapping him inside of a dim, cold, and lonely corner where the only company he had were the terrible, defeating voices inside of his head.
He shot open his tear consumed eyes and reached over for something that he thought could comfort him.
Peter's pillow.
He held it close to his chest and let the feeling of being loved, by him, swell him up with a distant joy. When he felt like his body belonged to him, how he felt like he had a life that was worth living. Someone to look forward to when he woke up and fell asleep. And someone that treated him like he was the only thing that mattered.
When he and Peter were happy together. The late night cuddles and the numerous amount of dates. The warm touches of love laid over his skin, displaying how fragile Harry was. When their love was actually meaningful.
When they meant the world to one another.
When they belonged to one another.
Harry took a deep breath and let the scent of the pillow seep into his nostrils, causing more tears to pour out. It hurt him to think about the life he once had.
What once was, what is, and what will never be.
"I love you.. Peter Benjamin Parker.." he whispered, tightening the pillow in his arms. Like he was holding Peter close to his body, just like before. A hold filled with the same amount of affection that their relationship once possessed, mixed in with a sense of grief, as if this was the last embrace that they would share. "You are the most important and special person in my life… I love you.. and only you.."