TITLE: 'Love in an Empty Field' (2/12)
RATING: A
POV: President Josiah Bartlet and Dr. Abigail Bartlet
SUMMARY: President Bartlet has to replace Mrs. Landingham
DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.
A week had passed since young Meadow graced us with her presence. I had wanted her to fail, not out of spite, but out of respect for Mrs. Landingham. I didn't want to believe that she could be replaced that easy. Yet somehow, she was. Charlie had cleaned out her things, and we chose which personal belongings we would like to keep cherishing her with.
I kept the photo album of her husband and the boys. I was genuinely touched to find a few of myself in there. Pictures of myself alone, of the girls when they were small, and of course some beautiful shots of Abbey. In fact looking back at them I can't help but see Meadow. There is something there between them, you would think that they were sisters. I guess it is true, there is a twin out there for everybody.
Tonight is the political party, a kind of prom if you will. I hope that Abbey has taken care of my tux. A medical doctor, a First Lady, a mother, a wife, a friend, and now a tuxedo provider.
What would I do without her? She has been my partner for over 30 years. Together we have stormed some bad times, and sailed through the good times. She like Mrs. Landingham was the kind of woman you liked regardless. Everybody liked Abbey, except for my father that is.
My father never gave her much consideration, not that he really gave consideration to anyone. Abbey never deserved the way he spoke about her. I would like to think it was because he didn't understand her, but deep down, Abbey and I both know that isn't the reason.
My father and I would get into discussions regarding Abbey and my future. He wouldn't come out and condone us publicly; it was mostly done in private. My Dad and I alone in a room, he would sit back with all the confidence in his right hand, and a scotch in his left while I tried my best to stand my ground concerning Abbey. Our discussions as they were called, quickly turned heated and he would accuse me of turning my back on my family over a lover. He never thought she would amount to much, therefore not deserving of the Bartlet name.
Little did he know that she is what makes the name sparkle. She is the most kind and considerate woman I have ever loved, or cared to love. Abbey just has to smile at me and any problems I am feeling just kind of disappear for the time being. She is my rock, and I love her with every breath in my body. Which I think is why that Meadow girl appeals to me.
I no longer have any resentment towards her. I actually think she is quite smart, although I haven't had the chance to really spend some time getting to know her. Maybe that is what I will do later, strike up a conversation and get to know my secretary. It could be fun. Josh and Donna seem to have a nice rapport, why can't Meadow and I?
"?" My name was being called through the intercom. I answered back.
"Mr. McGarry is here for his appointment. Are you ready to receive him Sir?"
"Yes, you can show him in Meadow. And Thank you," I replied. Thankfully Charlie finally taught me how to use the damn thing. I am not sure if it was pity that I didn't know what to do, or if my shouting through the door was driving him insane. I opened up my file folder that held the documents Sam had sent over to me. I would need these with Leo.
"Leo why wasn't I told about this", I shouted as soon as Leo came in, not even giving him the chance to say hello first.
"Ugh Mr. President, you have known about this for months," Leo replied boldly.
"Bull! I would have remembered something like this. I don't like it Leo. The public can only take so much of our getting into their business, this is going to get ugly before it gets pretty."
"Mr. President, we need Weston, and Richardson, hell, we even need Tillinghouse. So to make them happy, makes us happy in the long run."
Dorvac is nothing but a big pain in the ass. I always feel like I should have extra cheese lying around for when he gets into his whiny moods."
"This is true Sir, but it doesn't change the fact that we need him. And I don't want him knowing we need him. So let's just have Josh and Sam take a meeting with Hudson and Malkevie and see what they come up with."
"Do I really have any other choice here Leo?"
"Not really Sir. But your point of being pissed off is well taken."
"Fine. Send Sam and Josh up there. This had better not come back to bite me in the ass Leo."
"I am sure it won't Sir. Moving on to other things, how is working between you and Meadow?"
"She is terrific Leo. You actually did a good job finding her. I haven't had much of a chance to talk to her, but I was thinking of it."
"What would you like to know, maybe I can help?"
"Leo, I am not looking for the girls Social Security number. Just little facts like where she is from, who her parents are, if she has a husband or is seeing someone nice. You know that kind of stuff."
"She is from Lafayette, North Carolina and her parents were Allen and Georgia Connor. They were married for 20 years before she came along. She isn't really seeing anybody per say, but I have seen her out and about with both Josh and Toby."
"Josh and Toby?"
"Yes."
"Josh and Toby?"
"Yes, Sir what part are you having troubles with?"
"Josh and Toby!" The idea of either one of them is troublesome. Geesh Leo she is only a baby. They are not her type. Josh and Toby? Come on Leo, tell me you agree with me."
"First things first, she is far from a baby Jed. She is almost 31 years old. Second, Toby is a nice guy. What harm can come of them being friends?"
"You forgot Josh, Leo."
"Like I was saying, Toby would never be cruel to a woman, every other species yes, but not a woman. Not someone like Meadow either. Besides, it isn't our business anyhow."
I stared at Leo which I know makes him uncomfortable. I don't know what it was that made me upset regarding the Josh and Toby thing. I know they are both good guys, despite what I have heard through the grapevine when it comes to lovers.
Toby I think got a bad deal where Andi was concerned and Josh, well he needs to come into his own a bit more. Come out of that shell he hides away in too often. Mandy didn't help the situation I have a feeling of, but Donna. Now there is a woman for Josh. Why either of them can't see it, I simply can't explain…..but they were made for each other.
I have this thing inside me that wants to protect every girl I see. Maybe it is the father in me. Or maybe it is just the man in me that believes that all women need someone to protect them. Not that a woman couldn't handle herself, boy I sure know they can.
I have been on the dark side of Abbey here and there, and she is the last woman that needs a provider. But it is more than that, it is just an instinct in me. Even with CJ I get all fatherly concerned when she goes out on a blind date. I wouldn't admit it to her, because she like Abbey would probably hurt me.
I stopped glaring at Leo and he relaxed a bit more. I don't want to admit defeat but my eyes were starting to go cross-eyed, I could feel it.
"You mentioned her parents in the past tense, did you mean it that way?"
"Yes, her parents were killed in an accident. That is all I know, she wouldn't go into it much further than that."
"But at least you got that much. Geesh Leo, what are ya doing on government time, handing out the ladies a questionnaire?"
Leo laughed. "No Sir, I like to email."
"Email? Leo, you still have to get Margaret to turn the computer off for you, and yet you email."
"Yes Sir. I find that I am quite good too. I can send you a letter if you wish Sir."
"No Leo that is alright. I already communicate with Annie via email, I don't need you added to my list as well."
I am shocked that Leo has his hand in cyberspace. He rarely does anything that isn't from the last century. Old fashioned to the core is what Abbey says about him. I smile broadly which catches Leo's curiousity.
"What?" he asks.
"Nothing, I am just trying to conjure up what nickname you would give yourself is all. Irritable seems to come to mind." I chuckled turning away from Leo.
"For your information Sir, the White House doesn't use those kind of names. We use our real names here." He tried to look offended but you can easily tell he was amused. When I am at home, well that is a different story. Then I am known to the cyber world as Loveable Leo."
"Leo, Lions are not loveable."
"I am not a lion Sir."
"Fair enough. Now get out of my office so I can go and ask Meadow to join me for lunch. Or does she only accept email?"
"Very funny Sir. Try not to choke on your tuna salad." Leo stood up and left the room giving me a quick wave from behind. I could hear him mumble something to either Charlie or Meadow. I went to my new intercom and buzzed Meadow, she answered and I dutifully asked her to join me for lunch, which she accepted. I better call Abbey and let her know that I am dining with Meadow for lunch. We may have a great marriage, but nothing can compare to a woman jealous.1
I had ordered some soup, salad and sandwiches for lunch, as well as some juices. I am not a believer in sugar drinks so pop was not on the menu. Abbey was fine with my having lunch with Meadow, only stopping to warn me to be nice. Why do people have this opinion that I am not nice. Just because one speaks his mind, doesn't make him and ogre. What was it Ellie always said about me, that I was hard to reach. Zoey and Elizabeth never complained about that, then again, Ellie is more her mother's daughter than mine. I love her no different, but she tends to stick with Abbey whereas the other two lean toward good old dad.
"Am I disturbing you Mr. President?"
I turned to where Meadow was standing, she looked so nervous. "Not at all Meadow, I was waiting on you here."
"Are you sure, because you looked a little distracted."
"Nah, that is my way of thinking. I tend to space out sometimes, you'll get used to that. Come on over dear and have a seat. Help yourself to whatever tickles your fancy. I wasn't sure what to order, so I pretty much got them to make a variety."
"This is more than gracious Sir. Thank you again for having me for lunch."
"My pleasure Meadow. Just in case you are wondering, I invited you to lunch to get to know you a bit better. Not to chastise you are anything of the sort."
She seemed relieved. I think there was colour coming back into her cheeks.
"Yes, I was kind of curious. I thought that I was being let go," she responded.
"No, no. Besides when we fire people around here we tend to do make a big broadcast of it," I joked. Only I don't think she caught on to that, because she had this look of fear in her eyes. I quickly reassured her that I was of course kidding.
A few minutes of small talk regarding the food, how much there was, how good it tasted, blah blah blah. Then I noticed that she added mustard on her tuna sandwich. I have never known anyone to eat their tuna sandwich that way besides myself. I find myself astounded.
"Meadow, I don't mean to pry okay. I take pride in being a man with a lot of knowledge, and you can only get that way by reading and asking questions. So I am going to ask you some questions, and you may feel free to ask them of me too. Is this agreeable?"
"Of course, yes. I have nothing to hide."
"That isn't what I am doing Meadow. I am not trying to trick you into telling me some sacred secret. I just want to know about you. The Meadow Connor who works for a nosy guy named Jed Bartlet." She laughed, it was a pleasant laugh in which I joined in.
"Question 1. Do you have a middle name Miss Connor?"
"Yes I do. Faith."
"Faith. That is a lovely name. I named my….," Don't go there Jed. Stay as far from there as you can. You are still emotional from the death of Dolores, don't take yourself back to that place now. I gave my head a small little shake and proceeded asking questions again.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters Meadow?"
"No Sir I am an only child."
"Is that good or bad," I teased.
She hesitated and then spoke, "Sometimes it was good, and yet sometimes it was very lonely for me." She too let herself drift for a minute over the "lonely" part. There was something behind those eyes, yet I couldn't figure out what it was about them that drew her to me. I mean one minute she reminds me of my mother and then the next it is Abbey I see when I look at her. Then again, I did see some of Sam when she was eating.
"I myself have a brother and 2 sisters. There were many many *many* times when I would pray to God to take them away from me. However, my heart knows better that I would be devastated if I were to lose one of them."
She didn't say a word. She looked up at me and tried to smile. There was so much hurt there, I was almost afraid to continue, yet I did. "Meadow, Leo told me about your parents, and I want you to know I am so sorry about your loss. I know what it is like to lose someone close to you that you care about and love with all your heart. It is a terrible feeling, and one I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy." I tried to sound as sincere as I could, considering I did know the impact of loss.
"Ummm, she stammered. That was a long time ago. I love them and I miss them."
"I am sure you do. If you don't mind my asking, how old were you?"
She had a shocked expression on her face, I guess she wasn't expecting me to question her anymore in regards to her parents. "I was 16 Sir."
"Was there family around to help support you? Both emotionally and financially?"
"I went to live with…with my grandma. She's gone too. She died the following year, and so I was left to take care of myself pretty much."
"Oh jeez Meadow, again I am sorry. That is a lot for a 17 year old girl to have to face up to so early in life. I mean the responsibilities that come with taking care of yourself in this world….well they are just hard and expensive."
"They were hard yes. But financially I was okay. Both my parents and my grandmother had a life insurance policy that left me some money. Plus my maternal grandmother gave me $10,000 when I was born, and it had been in the bank all those years. I never met the lady, but I was sure thankful to her when I was all alone."
"Wow, you were lucky to have that. I know you would sooner give it up if it meant having your family back but….." I didn't know what else to say. For once in my long life I was actually at a loss for words. Abbey and Leo would never have believed this could ever happen to me.
"I am sorry to hear about Mrs. Landingham, she was a lovely lady." Hearing her name said aloud snapped me back into place. I looked up at Meadow with cold eyes.
"You knew Mrs. Landingham?" I asked.
"I, uh, I meant that she seemed to be a lovely lady." There was something in the way Meadow spoke that had me disbelieving her right away. She suddenly grew flushed and became fidgety.
"How would you have even known that Meadow?"
"Umm, from the way that Charlie talks about her, and the rest of the staff. So I just assumed that she was a lovely lady."
"She was an excellent lady, and she didn't deserve what happened to her," I said raising my voice. I didn't mean to scare Meadow but I did. She jumped up spilling her drink. She spilled her drink because I had scared her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to knock over my glass," she apologized breathlessly.
"Look Meadow, I am sorry. I never meant to speak to you that way, I sincerely apologize. Please believe me."
"That's okay Sir. I understand, really I do. But I should be getting back to my desk anyways. Thank you again for taking the time to have lunch with me. I hope that I was able to answer all of your questions. Goodbye Sir." She had already cleaned up her mess as she was talking, and was now closing the door on her way out.
I felt like such a jackass. How could I have been so stupid? What was my thinking there?2"Thank you everybody for all of that informative information. Now get the hell out of office so we can get ready for dancing tonight. Well, atleast we'll all dance and Toby can do whatever the hell he does," I said to my team. Toby gave us all an awkward smile and wasted no time in defending himself.
"I don't understand what you are talking about sir. I am a good dancer," he defended.
"No Toby, you are a terrible dancer. You can't dance worth shit."
"Sir, I hate to argue with you but…"
"Good, then don't."
"But Sir, I can dance."
"Did you just learn recently?"
"No Sir, my mother taught me many years ago."
"Toby, your mother probably taught David, but she didn't teach you. I find it hard to believe anyone could teach that vigorous spasm of movements that you seem to enjoy scaring us with. The last social event we had you gave Josh a black eye, sprained Donna's toe, slapped CJ. in the head, and let us not forget bagging Sam more than once. The poor boy spent half the night with an icebag on his testicles for Christ's sake Toby, and you dare to argue with me that you can dance.
"Those were all accidents Sir, I get caught up in the moment…"
"Accidents happen a lot when you are having your so called moments Toby. That still doesn't mean it is called dancing. It isn't a big deal I suppose as long as you are having fun."
"I do have fun when I dance Sir."
"Really? Because it looks like it hurts." I started to laugh at Toby which relaxed his face muscles. He was all tense and prepared to put on a good fight to prove to me that he could dance. Sam, Josh and Leo had already left the office halfway through our disagreement. I turned around so I could look Toby face to face and asked him to have a seat across from me. I wanted to talk to him only I wasn't sure how to go about it.
"Is there something you want to talk to me about Mr. President?"
Toby was a good guy. He is the kind of son parents would brag about to all their friends in the social clubs. He does a remarkable job as the White House' Director of Communications, and I like him. I really and truly do.
"It's gonna sound kind of silly, but there has been something I have been meaning to ask you, yes."
"Okay Sir, what would that something be? I hope it isn't a dance lesson, because quite frankly Sir I am booked up till mid December, and what with the holidays…"
I raised my hand for Toby to stop where he was, and he did in mid sentence. I might take that smart remark back if he actually thinks there is someone brave enough to learn one of his moves. I blinked a few times and I could feel a drop of sweat coming down the left side of my forehead. This is ridiculous, I am only asking a question, I am not on the stand for first degree murder.
"Toby, I was informed that you and Meadow have become very close. And I know you both have fathers of your own, but I am concerned."
"Concerned? Sir I…." Toby crossed his leg and looked straight at me. He was trying to figure out my thoughts before I could explain my reasoning for having them. It is just like Toby to always be thinking.
"You are both nice people….."
"Since when was nice a cause for concern Sir," Toby asked questioning me. He was still calm but on the verge of getting emotionally excited, and not because I had just presented him with a cute little puppy. This wasn't coming out the way that I had planned. Not like I put a whole lot of planning into this. I originally thought I would atleast have the chance to say my piece and THEN have Toby get worked up. I am losing my judgement on people's behaviour.
"Toby you are getting wound up over nothing. I just simply meant to say that I don't want to see any problems arise, should they." There, that was direct.
"Problems? WHAT problems? I don't understand your line of concern here Sir. Is it for me? Is it for Meadow? Did you suddenly get a loss of parental ability with your own children and thought, hey here is a new project for me, the unlovable Toby and the mysterious new girl?"
"You are waaay out of line Toby.."
"NO, no I am not Sir. YOU are out of line with this, and you know it. Why didn't you mention this concern during the meeting? I'll tell you why, because it isn't any of their business, just like it isn't any of yours."
"She works for me Toby. I happen to like her, and care for her as a fellow employee on this staff. Just like I do for you, Sam, CJ, Leo, Charlie, and even Josh. I am not asking you to give me details on what you do…."
"Good because you wouldn't get them."
"Why is this such a sensitive issue for you Toby. I am not trying to prevent you from being close to her. In fact I encourage that, but I don't want to see any problems down the line. What problems you ask? How about I just go ahead tell you Toby. What if you don't work out? Will there be friction between the two of you? Will one of you decide to leave the administration behind and go and work elsewhere? I don't want to see that happen is all Toby."
"That is your concern Sir? Will we be all kissy cuddly when we part? I don't believe this. You have us breaking up already and yet we haven't been on a date together. Why does everyone get concerned for me when I meet a friend? I would really like to know this, because all I have is a new friend."
"She is escorting you to the function tonight is she not?"
"Okay then, I have a new friend who likes to go out in public with me. Who wasn't doing anything and could probably enjoy a night out with fellow staff members. I apologize for not checking the White House regulations on dates to the political prom."
Now he was more than excited. He was red in the face and very irritated. I had crossed the boundary that he set, and I didn't even take the time to realize it. This is insane. I am fighting over….over….over what Jed think. There has got to be a reason why you have Toby Ziegler hopping mad. But I couldn't think of a good reason. Not one solid reason that could be justified. Just this feeling, a feeling I don't even recognize. It was just sitting there in the pit of my stomach, and every once in awhile it would leap up into my heart.
"You're right Toby. I am sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, I just…I just…ah hell I don't know. There is something in Meadow's eyes that makes me want to protect her from all the bogeymen out there."
"Am I the bogeyman Mr. President?"
"No! No of course not. I didn't mean that. I don't take to new people too easily and I have taken to her already. I didn't think I would, but I have. And I don't want to lose her like I did…."
"Mrs. Landingham? You're afraid Meadow is going to leave you like Mrs. Landingham did. Sir, you can't waste your time thinking like that…"
"I'm not wasting MY time when it concerns Mrs. Landingham. Don't you ever forget that Toby." I was shouting so loud my head was beginning to pound.
"Mrs. Landingham isn't the one you are concerned about Sir, it is the woman who replaced her. And she is just that Sir. A woman who is clearly smart, beautiful and who yes, is a joy to have around. Let us also not forget….she is an employee too; secretary for the President of the United States. THAT is who Meadow is. THAT is where your concern lies. So if she should forget to type up a memo, then by all means voice your concerns Sir that is your right. Should she accept a date to a function with me, well then I suggest you mind your own business, because that isn't your right."
He stood there eye to eye with me with not so much as a flinch in sight. Without taking his eyes off of me he asked to be dismissed. I granted him that. This was a day of pure hell, and it wasn't even over by a long shot. In a matter of a few minutes I managed to turn my Communications Director against me. Leo was definitely not going to like this.3
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