TITLE: "Keegan" (2/3)

RATING: AA
CHARACTERS: Toby and the gang

SUMMARY: Piper meets Keegan

POV: Toby

DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.

TIMEFRAME: Continues on from "I'd Like You to Meet…"

*3*

After walking up and down various corridors and convincing myself I would never see CJ and my son again for lack of knowledge of where I now was I finally came across Sam and Piper.

They were sitting in the cafeteria sharing what looked like an enormous plate of French fries drowning in gravy.

Piper's back was to me but Sam spotted me. I raised my eyebrows and Sam gave me a nod and a smile and stood up. He came over to me, "She's fine Toby."

"Did she say anything to you?"

Sam sighed. "She's not happy that the baby is a boy."

I nodded as if I was expecting this. I wasn't. Sam continued, "She said she wasn't going to talk to you until you and CJ agreed to take him back."

My eyes darted to Sam's. "Come again?"

"I was the same way Toby. When my father called to tell me my mother had my sister I was so furious I hung up on him. I wanted a brother so bad that I went into a hysterical rage," he confessed to me. "So you see it's a natural reaction."

"Sam, are you not the same kid who went into a hysterical rage every time your mother added milk to your cereal?"

Sam got suddenly defensive, "That's different. She was drowning the marshmallows."

"Okay, I think I've got this." I turned around and held my hand out for Sam to shake. It was the best way I could show affection for his help. I wasn't about to hug him in public. "Thanks for everything Sam."

"Toby it was my pleasure. If there's anything I can do-"

"Actually there is. Can you please bring CJ a ginger ale?"

"Sure, Sure." Sam walked away and I took his spot at the table with Piper.

"Uncle Sam look how big this one is," Piper held up a long dripping French fry. When she noticed I wasn't Sam she said, "Oh it's you."

She seemed utterly disappointed and it broke my heart. "That sure is a long fry Piper," I tried to think of what Sam would say.

And then my fatherly instinct kicked in. "Piper make sure you break that up before putting it in your mouth or else you're going to choke on it."

Her expression changed to that similar of a ticked off lion as she growled, "I knows how to eat you know."

"I know you do Piper. I also know how to drive but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of causing an accident," it sounded like a good thing at the time.

She lost her interest in the long fry and dropped it back onto her plate and pushed the plate forward. "You're not hungry anymore sweetie?"

"No. I lost my appetizer," she answered in a sulky tone.

I almost corrected her. I know she meant appetite and I just decided to let it go. I don't think correcting her was going to give me any points with her at this stage. I took a deep breath and then exhaled.

"Piper is it true what Uncle Sam says about your not wanting a brother?"

"Hows does you knows that already?"

"Uncle Sam just told me."

"He sure has a big mouth."

"That's not a polite thing to say Piper. Especially about Uncle Sam when he loves you so very much."

"Hey," she shrugged her arms and held her hands up to their sides. "I wasn't the one who tolds you a secret."

"Do you have any secrets that you might want to share with Daddy?"

"No," she answered quite quickly.

I tapped my fingers on the table. In my mind I kept repeating 'she's four' over and over. "You never answered me though Piper. Is what Uncle Sam said true?"

"Maybe?"

I was beginning to lose my patience. "Okay how about you try and give me a break and give me either a yes or no answer?"

"I saids maybe," she said raising her voice.

I leaned in closer to her, "Well guess what sweetie. This isn't a maybe type of answer. Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why does you have to go and have a boy?" was her comeback.

I leaned back into my chair. "Is that what is really bothering you?"

"Does I look happy?" Bad question on my part, of course that was what the problem was.

"So if mommy and daddy had had a little girl you would be happier?"

"Maybe."

"Okay let's remove the word maybe from our vocabulary. Who taught you that word anyway?"

"You did."

"Yeah well I'm an idiot."

"Yes," she answered instead of maybe. Well atleast we were getting somewhere here.

"Piper, why does a boy scare you more than a girl?"

"You knows."

As sincere as I could I said, "No honey I don't. I would really like to know though."

Piper hesitated and then finally explained her fears. "Daddy's get more happy with boys. They do more things with them and then they doesn't want to knows the girl anymore. And that's what I is. I is going to be the girl that you doesn't want to do things with anymore."

Whoa! Where in the world did that come from? As I sat here listening to her I could feel a huge lump forming in my throat. How terrible it must feel for her to have these fears inside of her.

"Honey. Where did you get such an idea like that?"

"Sunny Karen tolds me."

"Who is she Piper?" I tried to think back to what small ankle biters we had at Piper's birthday party for a Karen and I was coming up blank.

"Sunny Karen is from daycare. And her daddy doesn't like her anymore because of her little brother Kyle."

"What's Karen's last name sweetie?" I was drawing a blank to who she was.

"Not Karen daddy. We calls her Sunny Karen because her hair is so sunny."

"Ahh I see. Well do you know Sunny Karen's last name? Like your last name is Ziegler do you know hers?"

"I know whats a last name is I'm not a baby," she pointed out. I didn't know what all a four year old could comprehend. I was beginning to learn with mine, that pretty much everything was up for grabs.

"You're right I'm sorry. You're a big girl now because you're four. I keep forgetting."

"See. It's already starting," she looked like she was going to cry.

"Oh no no! I wasn't forgetting about you Piper. I could never forget about you. I was just forgetting that you're a big girl now and not my little girl," I tried to assure her.

She smiled and I think that meant that I was forgiven. I hope it meant that I was forgiven. I should have kept Sam with me. I was drowning out here.

I didn't want to press her for her friend's name so I just sat and waited patiently. I was beginning to think of Keegan and if the President had yet released him from his tight grip when she answered me.

"I think her last name is Kopsloudly."

"Kopsloudly, Kopsloudly," I repeated out loud until it came to me.

"Kozlowski?"

"That's what I saids."

"Her father is George Kozlowski. He's from Human Resources."

"He's not a nice daddy."

"I don't know about that Piper. But I can verify he's an idiot and a terrible poker player," I replied forgetting who I was telling. I needed a nice wall to bang my head off of.

"Piper, I'm sorry that Karen's daddy-"

"Sunny Karen," she interrupted.

"Sunny Karen," I repeated. "Her daddy should never do what he did to her. That's not a very nice thing. But I would never do that to you. Nor would mommy."

"But how does you knows that?"

"I know that because you are so very important to me Piper. And no baby boy can or will ever change that."

"Does you love him too?"

"Keegan?" I asked as if I had no idea who she was referring to. I think I need some sleep.

"Yeah him. Does you love him?"

"Of course I do."

"That figures," she said quietly.

"But that doesn't mean I can't love you too. Because I do Piper. I really do."

"I know you does now but you'll run out of love for me and have to give it to the baby."

"That will never happen. Piper mommy and daddy's can't run out of love."

"They can't?"

I shook my head. "Nope. They can't. I have so much love in me to give to you and Keegan and Mommy. I could never run out. Especially for you."

Piper pondered this for a moment. "Cross your heart?"

I crossed my heart as I replied, "Cross my heart."

"Well then maybe you doesn't have to give him back."

That was music to my ears. How odd that it would take that exact sentence to make me overjoyed. "Piper you will always and forever be my special little girl. Do you want to know why?"

She nodded her head. "Because you were my first. And because of the circumstances of how you came into my life."

"What is circum-circum," she couldn't pronounce the word.

"Circumstances," I replied. "Well you and I got together in a movie theatre on one of the worst days of daddy's life. And not many daddy's have that happen to them." I sure doubt it anyway.

"But that was how I met you. And right away I knew how very special you were and I was head over heels in love with you because you made me feel something that I hadn't felt in a long long time."

"Really? What?" Piper perked up excitedly.

"Love," I answered.

"Love?" Piper asked confused.

I nodded. "Yep," I placed my hand over my heart. "You gave this life. You gave me life and for that, I will always be grateful to you and I will always, always love you. No matter what."

"Because your heart would break if you didn't loves me right?" She remembered what I had told her that day in the park.

"That's right. Without you in my life my heart wouldn't be able to continue being so happy."

Piper leaned up across the table and put her tiny hands over mine. "Doesn't worry daddy. I won't make your heart sad."

I choked up again as I sat there basking in the love of my daughter. I didn't want this moment to end.

*4*

"Is you ready to go daddy?"

I glanced at Piper who was leaning on the table with her hands holding her face up. She looked bored. "Why? Do you want to leave?"

"I doesn't care but you look lonely for Keefer."

"Keegan," I corrected.

"Why did you and mommy call him that?"

"You don't like it?" I took a second to recapture previous dialogue. "Of course you don't. You called it yucky if I remember correctly."

"Well," Piper sighed. "I might have been telling lies when I saids that."

"Oh really?" I pretended to be stunned at this information.

"I'd have to say I was telling lies. It isn't that yucky I suppose."

"Well I am very happy to hear that because mommy and I like it."

"How cuz though? What's wrong with a name like Ken or JC?"

"Because he's not Barbie's boyfriend or a Backstreet Boy. And for future reference if you ever bring home a guy like that you'll never see the outdoors again."

"JC's not a Backstreet Boy silly. He's an N'Sync Boy."

I smiled at Piper. She was so sweet and innocent at this stage. Well okay maybe not completely innocent as the past few months have proven but she's all mine.

I hated those moments when I would drift off and picture her first date that would eventually lead to her first heartbreak.

That of course will be when I am up for ten years doing hard time for breaking every bone in the boy's body as I will have previously warned on his application.

I didn't want her to grow up and leave me as I know one day she will. I wish I could just freeze her at this stage. Alright, I'd probably advance her past the attitude stage first before freezing. But I would definitely keep her young and with me always.

"You never saids why you called the baby Keegan," Piper reminded me.

"That's right I didn't. Well, one day mommy and I were watching a reality show on TV about medical trauma and-"

Piper interrupted me with her hand held up in position. I thought at first she was going to say her favourite quote of 'talk to the hand' but she didn't. "You're talking too grown up for me again."

I smiled, "Oh I'm sorry. Okay we were watching a program that showed people in a hospital."

"Like this one," she asked indicating the hospital we were in.

"Sort of. Only I think this one was in Houston or Chicago."

"Where's that?"

"Houston is in Texas and Chicago is in Illinois."

"Where's them?"

"Ahh, how about we leave the geography questions till later?"

"What's geography?"

I know that one of these days I will miss these questions, but today isn't one of them. "Okay so anyway," I said changing the subject. "There was a little baby and he was very sick. And do you know what his name was?"

"Johnny?" she guessed.

I sighed. "No sweetie. His name was Keegan."

"Just like our baby," she said happily.

I loved that she said that. Our baby. "Yes sweetie, like our baby."

"Did you have to ask him for his name?"

"No we didn't," I answered laughing.

"So youse just stole it?"

"No we didn't steal it. We just used it."

"But isn't that the same as stealing?"

"No they're two totally different things."

"Then how cuz when I used your water for Barbie's pool you saids I stole it?"

"Okay first that wasn't water that was vodka and second, you went into a cabinet that you know you are not to touch," I pointed out.

"Sounds the same to me," she replied shrugging.

"Well it's not," was my only comeback.

"What happened to the baby?"

"What baby?" I had lost sight of our conversation.

"The baby that was in Houston or Chicago."

"Oh that baby," I shrugged. "I don't know."

"How cuz you doesn't know?"

"Because mommy kept crying everytime he came on and I had to turn the television off."

"Oh. That's because he was really really sick right?"

"Right."

"Daddy?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Is our baby going to have to go that hospital too?"

I reached for her little hand. "No sweetie he's not."

"Daddy?"

"Yes Piper."

"Has I ever been to Houston or Chicago?"

I wasn't prepared to answer questions for which I had no answers. We knew eventually there was going to be a time when Piper would want to know more about her past. And these were things we ourselves were not quite sure of.

I decided to assume that she hadn't, "No you haven't."

"That's good. It doesn't sound like a very healthy place."

Another smile emerged. "I think you are right."

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"How cuz you named me Piper? Did you and my first mommy watch a sick baby too?"

The memory of watching the video tape of Cindy, Piper's biological mother came flooding back. It was then that I discovered that Piper was my daughter. She revealed her name as Piper Noelle Affleck but in actuality her birth name was registered as Tobi Noelle Piper Affleck.

Once I had sole custody of Piper I had her name legally changed to Ziegler, keeping Affleck as a third middle name. From what I could recall of how her name came to be I told Piper.

"Your mommy called you Piper because there is a girl who has the same name on a television show called Charmed."

"I remember that," Piper exclaimed. "There are three pretty girls on that show. Piper is the prettiest."

"I bet she is. Just like you."

Piper smiled and I continued, "And Noelle was given to you because you were born on Christmas Day."

"Mommy always said that I was a special gift," Piper seemed sad as she spoke of her mother.

"She was right. You are a special gift."

"Hey, I bet you don't know what your first name is?"

"Yes I does silly. It's Piper."

I shook my head. "Nope. Piper is actually one of your middle names."

"I's got a middle name?"

"Yes you do. You have a few actually."

"Can my first name be Barbie?"

Laughing I answered, "No. You don't get to make it up. You already have one."

"What?"

"Tobi."

"Tobi?" Piper questioned with a disgusted look upon her face.

"Hey! Tobi's a good name."

"But that's your name."

"I know it is. You were named after me."

"You named me after a boy?"

"Well I didn't do it myself," I said with much regret in my voice. "Your mommy did. And Tobi is a girl's name as well as a boy's."

"Then how cuz she and you calls me Piper?"

That was a good question. "I don't know sweetie."

"I does. She probably realized Tobi was a boy's name when its was too late so she called me Piper because it's a prettier name," she gave her head a nod as if her theory was right on the money.

"Well I think it's a good name."

"So all together then what's my name again?"

"Tobi Noelle Piper Affleck Ziegler."

"Wow, that's going to be hard to learn to write down."

"Somehow I think you'll manage," I gave her a wink.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Daddy I loves you lots but please keep calling me Piper. I doesn't want to be you."

Well it was about time we found something in common.