I couldn't say anything. I stood up and tried to grab the fayth, but all I was left with was pyreflies circling me. I stood and heard the low hum of the Celsius, and the wind blowing past me. Then it hit me, a feeling of guilt, the worst feeling I had ever felt before.
It was my fault.
I turned around to Tidus sitting still in the same place he had been. It was my fault he had vanished, if I had died at Zanarkand with Yunalesca, I would have kept you alive. You could have had a life, seen all the things you wanted to see, and you could have found a way to back home...but no. I was selfish. I wanted to stay alive, and now...this.
"I'm scared." Tidus suddenly spoke.
A deep silence, an echoic chasm of sorrow and woe, split us apart. I felt so far from Tidus, but yet he was merely a meter away.
"I...don't know what to say..." I truly didn't. I know I should have comforted him, but with what? There are no words that can comfort the hole inside your heart when you know you will die. Nothing. I know. I've been there before.
Before I knew it, a tear had rolled down my cheek and had split in the wind. It just wasn't fair. Why to us? After I put the fayth to rest? Why did they do this to us? I know it wasn't their fault, but couldn't help feel anger and sorrow at the same time. More tears fell, falling like rain onto the part of the Celsius below my feet. I turned around and so did Tidus. You were crying too.
"Well...we best tell the others." I started to turn towards the Celsius door. Tidus put his hand on my shoulder.
"Please...make sure we get to see everything...all the stuff you told me...I want to see it...before..." I stopped him.
"Don't go there. I will."
We both walked through the Celsius door and down the lift to the deck.
"Surprise! Welcome home!" Rikku jumped up from behind the door. Paine was...smiling? And brother was over the moon.
That night, I just couldn't bring myself to tell them. Neither could Tidus. After all they had done for us, after all they had been through, I know they should have been told. But I couldn't, could I?
But, I didn't know whether to tell them at all...