AN: Time for a little more E/C fun! This chapter will show you how far from canon I'm going... besides the slash, I mean. And this chapter does have the slash.

Oh, and I do plan on updating this more than once a year ;) Merry Christmas from these beautiful boys!

Ashland, Wisconsin
1921

I finished working on the schoolwork Carlisle left for me, and decided to turn my attention to the song I was composing. I had finally mastered my control in Chicago, and after sneaking into music stores at night, I showed Carlisle that I was able to use the right amount of pressure on the fragile piano keys.

We debated where to go when he felt it was time to move on—I wasn't completely ready to leave the city I where I was born, and the last ties to my human life, but I recognized the necessity of keeping our anonymity. Our combined hunting had also depleted the local wildlife populations, and we needed to find new hunting grounds.

Carlisle suggested New York—specifically the Rochester area—but their hospital didn't have any openings, so we had to look elsewhere. I wanted to move further west, and see parts of the country I had never visited before, so he sent out letters to several small towns between Chicago and Washington. Ashland, Wisconsin was the first place to respond, and they desperately needed a doctor of Carlisle's qualifications as soon as possible.

He was nervous about returning to work, leaving me alone for several hours a day, but I flat-out refused his suggestion of attending school with the humans. It was true that I needed to finish my education, but I felt that my mate was more than qualified to teach me everything I needed to know. I agreed to think about college the next time we moved, and he reluctantly took over the task of tutoring me on my high school subjects.

I never could have imagined just how good our life would be, and I was constantly amazed by how much I loved the beautiful man who gave me this life. Carlisle was absolutely perfect in my eyes, and the strangest thing was the fact that he felt the same way about me. Our relationship was rock-solid, and I couldn't imagine anything that would ever come between us.

We had been here about three weeks now, and we had settled into an easy routine. The days were spent together—making love, hunting, or just spending time with one another. Most nights Carlisle spent at the hospital, relieving the grateful humans who preferred to work the day shift.

I was looking forward to his return this morning, because it was our fourth Christmas together in this life. Christmas was a special time of year for us, since we met the year before my change at a Christmas party, and I finally got him into bed with me the Christmas after I became a vampire.

I glanced at the clock, noting that it was only two in the morning and I still had several long hours to fill before Carlisle would come home. Nights like this made me wish I could still sleep—so I could dream of him and wake up warm and safe in his arms.

I was sitting at the window, watching the snow swirl in the moonlight when a sharp pain in my chest caught me completely off guard. A deep feeling of dread washed over me and I instinctively knew it had something to do with Carlisle. I couldn't imagine what could possibly hurt him, but I was terrified of what I would do if I lost him. He was my sole reason for living, and I knew I couldn't exist if he wasn't there.

I didn't even stop to put on my shoes before I took off running out the door, following the pull to my mate. About halfway between the house and the hospital, still pretty far out of town, I finally picked up on the tenor of his thoughts. As I got closer, my worry grew, and I sped up to my full speed. Something was terribly wrong.

The smell of fresh blood hit me before I picked up Carlisle's familiar scent. I slowed my run a bit, but focused more on his thoughts to try and figure out what was wrong with him. He wasn't thinking clearly at all, and I could feel that he wasn't moving anymore—he had stopped still somewhere ahead of me.

He'll never forgive me, what have I done, not supposed to happen, how I could have done this? The scattered thoughts and overall tone of grief had me worried out of my mind by the time I finally saw him.

He actually cringed when I ran into view, but otherwise didn't shift from where he was kneeling in the snow. His blond hair and hunched shoulders were all I could see, but from this distance he appeared to be unharmed. "Carlisle?" I called softly as I dropped down to wrap my arms around him. "What's wrong, love?"

No, no, no, no, no! He mustn't see. He'll leave me! How? Why? Oh, God. What have I done?! He was absolutely trembling in my arms, but still refused to lift his head and let me see his face. I couldn't see anything in his mind to let me know what had upset him, and I was really starting to worry now.

"Carlisle? I'm here now. Tell me what's happened, please," I begged as I stroked my hand over his hair, brushing the normally neat blond strands back from his face. I was startled when my fingers came away streaked with red, and I was shocked when the smell told me it was human.

Had a patient bled on him? Died? Was this why he was so distraught? He lost patients before, and none of them had ever caused him this much pain. I was used to comforting him when a particularly tough case upset him, but he had never cracked this badly. Something more must have happened.

"Love, you're scaring me. Please tell me why you're so tormented. I want to help you." I leaned over to kiss his forehead, deeply hurt when he pulled back at the last second and turned away from me.

Despite the frantic state of his mind, and obvious disheveled appearance, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when he finally turned to face me. Carlisle's clothes and face were streaked with blood, and it was smeared all the way up into his hairline. His chest and throat were scratched as though he clawed at himself in distress, and I ached with the need to cleanse his wounds and lick them closed.

His eyes were still closed when he reached out and took my hand, finally thinking clearer now. Edward, I'm so sorry. Please, please don't leave me. I started to scoff at the fact that he thought I actually could leave him, when he finally opened his eyes and looked at me.

Carlisle's familiar golden eyes were now a deep, glowing burgundy.

As the pieces clicked into place, I immediately pulled him into the safety of my arms, burying his face against my neck to comfort him. Somehow, some way my creator's centuries-old tight control had snapped.

"Oh, Carlisle." My words were barely a whisper, but his face fell in shame and his red eyes filled with venom tears, causing another pain in my chest. In a strange reversal of roles, I gathered my sire into my arms and began the long trek home through the snow.

I didn't ask him to speak, knowing he needed time to process what had occurred before he could share it with me—if he would even want to. I got bits and pieces from the memories he was clearly trying to suppress—a dark room that appeared to be a morgue, a broken woman covered by a bloody sheet—her heartbeat so faint the humans must have mistaken her for dead.

My steps faltered when a flash of thirst so strong I could barely think around it poured through me suddenly. I'm sorry, Edward.

I looked down at his face, but his eyes were still tightly closed, keeping me and the rest of the world out. I thought over what I needed to do when we reached the house, wanting to make things as easy as possible for my beautiful mate.

His eyes were going to be the biggest hurdle, and I knew he would extremely hard on himself if he caught sight of them. We only had a small mirror above the sink in the bathroom; Carlisle was quite fastidious about his hair when he was going to work. It would take a bit of maneuvering, but I needed to get him into a warm bath without seeing the mirror.

A flash of inspiration hit me when we passed a small creek near our home. From what I had gathered, there was something special about this particular human's blood that triggered an extremely strong response in my mate. The remaining dried blood on his clothing and body had to be torturing him still.

I carried him to the creek, carefully guarding my reaction when he opened his crimson eyes once more. He looked between my face, and the flowing water, and understanding crossed his face and mind both.

Carlisle stood silently as I stripped him of his ruined clothing, tossing my own aside as well. I would have to come back later to burn them, but getting them out of sight would help for now.

Taking his hand, I led my mate into the icy water. He held perfectly still, eyes closed, as I scrubbed his skin clean, and moved in to tend the self-inflicted wounds on his neck. He gritted his teeth as my venom helped his skin knit back together, but his thoughts told me he was grateful for the painful sting.

I took my time, seeking out every microscopic drop of blood, until his golden hair shone bright and clean once more. Once I was sure the physical evidence was gone, I led my lover from the water and drew him at a slow run toward the house. It was time to show my mate what unconditional love truly means.

He kept his head down and face turned away as we walked to the door—the door I had left wide open in my rush to find him earlier. Carlisle went straight to the bedroom while I swept out the snow that had blown in while we were away. Once the floor was clear I went to find him.

He was sitting on our bed with the quilt pulled around him, his face in his hands as he cried. Crawling across the bed, I slid up behind him and sat with my legs on either side of his body, pulling him back to rest against my chest.

I didn't like the feel of the quilt between us, but it seemed to be offering him comfort as he sat huddled there. His mind was a deep pool of grief with heavy currents of denial and self-hatred. He cringed when I wrapped my arms around him, and I couldn't deny that that small action hurt me deeply.

Taking a deep breath of my sweet maker's scent, I pushed down my own feelings and focused on him once more. Wrapping myself over his back, I pulled one hand up to begin combing through his hair, gently urging him to rest his head against me as I did so.

We sat like that for hours, while Carlisle's mind ran in circles and I kept quiet to let him work through his feelings. It was nearly noon when he finally relaxed against me fully, turning his face up against my neck as he took a deep cleansing breath and let it out with a sigh that seemed be pulled from the depths of his beautiful soul.

How can you stand to hold me this way? Carlisle finally spoke to me, and though his mental voice was timid and shaky, he clung to me tightly, his fingers gripping my arm and pressing against my chest. I have let you down.

I nudged his chin until he finally raised his face to look at me, his red eyes dark with grief and shining with the tears he could not shed. "Carlisle, you have not let me down," I told him, leaning over to kiss him softly when he began to argue. "No, listen. The only way you could disappoint me would be to push me away.

"I expect nothing from you but your love. I enjoy the things you buy for me, and I appreciate everything you have taught me, but the only thing I expect, the only thing I require from you is you for you to love me. Please, Carlisle, love me."

He kept his eyes on mine as I urged him back on the bed, fluffing the pillow under his head as I opened the quilt to expose his beautiful body to me. At the sight of his pale flesh, my own flesh began to respond immediately.

Carlisle looked down at my growing desire and then turned his head as he bit his lip, his mind telling me he was doing everything he could to fight his own needs. I wasn't having that.

I crawled forward, hovering over my sire on my hands and knees, and waited for him to look up at me before I pressed my hips down to meet his. He tossed his head back as his body began to respond, and I lowered my lips to nip and suck at his exposed neck.

Leaning over, I reached into the drawer of the night table and pulled out our trusty jar of Vaseline. Carlisle's eyes darkened further when he saw it in my hand, but I continued kissing a path down his chest until I reached my favorite destination.

I dipped two fingers into the tub and reached around to prepare myself for him, all while I leaned over and took his now-straining erection into my mouth. Carlisle groaned and reached down to pet my hair, smiling softly when I looked up to meet his eyes. Come here, he asked me silently, still not trusting his voice.

Smearing the rest of the lubricant onto him, I once again straddled him, sinking slowly down as I took him deep into my body. Carlisle moaned and pulled me down to rest on his chest, wrapping his arms around me to hold me still for just a moment. Thank you, Edward. I don't deserve you, but I love you so much.

Lifting my hips, I began to move above him, taking him in over and over again. Carlisle was content to let me lead for once, and I closed my eyes to savor the overwhelming love for me in his mind. We moved together slowly, building to an intense release that brought more tears to both our eyes.

"I love you, Carlisle," I whispered as I curled up next to him with my head resting on his chest.

"I love you too," he murmured, his lips against my hair. "Always, my Edward."