Barely awake, barely asleep, while dreaming of brighter days from my cell, I suddenly found myself standing in a pure ivory room, the walls and drapes glowing in their immaculate perfection, the essence of everything I was not.
I began carefully walking forward, not sure if it was all a dream or not and noticed how the ivory walls and soft ivory carpet seemed to glow as though bathed in pure moonlight, yet there was no light source in the room.
In horror, I noticed a stream of crimson blood snaking it's way across the pure carpet, tainting its beauty, trailing from me. Looking down, I saw blood dripping from my fingertips although no cut was present.
Turning back, I saw my footprints were soaked in blood. I held my hands up. They were soaked with rich blood, dripping down my arms, covering my hands entirely in a glossy sheen of scarlet.
"No! Why is this happening to me?" I whispered in fear, staring as the blood around me pooled thicker on the ivory carpet.
"Stop this!" I demanded, throwing my arms up, grasping my head, brushing back my spikes with my hands. "What's wrong with me?" I cried out, watching the glowing room suddenly turn gray as my blood darkened the floor.
Bloody strands of blonde hung in front of my face, tiny droplets of blood dripping from them. Why am I bleeding? I'm not cut!
My eyes wide with terror and guilt, I watched as my blood soaked through the room, forever marring it's gentle ivory glow and perfection. I felt hot tears leak down my face involuntarily.
"Why...why do I ruin everything I touch?" I shook my head, hearing my blood lightly splatter against the pure walls, spraying from my soaked blonde strands.
I knelt in the center of the room, feeling guilty and helpless, every ounce of my body trembling.
"I didn't mean to do this..." I whispered sadly to myself. "...make it stop..."
My heart quickened and I felt Jenova's caress pass over me once again, sending a chill up my spine...
I stumbled across the ivory room, confused, while Jenova tugged at my mind more and more. When I wasn't conscious her grasp on me weakened, but the sickening feel of her touch always returned once I awoke.
/Useless boy/ she spoke cruelly to me and suddenly something smacked me from the side, sending me flying against the crimson splattered ivory wall.
I lay on the floor, coughing, my blood slippery on the tiles now beneath me. My ribs ached from smacking against the bricked wall.
/You're pathetic and weak. Useless to me in this condition, but I will remold you to fit into what I want done./ Jenova hissed in my ear.
"Leave me alone," I weakly muttered, holding my side injured by the wall.
I lay in a pool of my own blood, staining the beautiful ivory room, turning it into a bloody nightmare.
/When I'm through with you, you'll beg me to take your life. You will learn to accept me with no resistance and bond with me entirely./ Her voice grew hostile.
"I'm already begging you to take my life. What more do you want? If I'm useless to you, release me, 'Mother'," I solemnly requested, breathing heavily from fear and pain.
/I shall remold you into the 'son' I need to accomplish what I want./
"You don't care if I suffer as long as you get what you want..." I spat, sitting up against the bloody scenery.
I coughed weakly. "What are you trying to accomplish?"
/Full control over you once I force you to embrace and accept me with no resistance. We can accomplish great things if you would only embrace your mother, like Sephiroth did./ the heartless creature spoke.
"I'm tired. Just leave me alone! Let me be! You already fucked up my life enough. Kill me or get out of my life, get out of my mind!" I clutched my mind, hoping to make the voice vanish.
"Now you will learn true pain until you learn not to resist me in your mind," a cold female whispered close to my ear.
I turned swiftly, jumping away from the hideous being right next to me. I slid on the bloody tiles and fell backwards as the demon loomed over me.
"Wh...what...what are you?" I whimpered, my fear pulsating through my bones.
"You don't recognize your worst nightmare?" She asked, her bloated body waved her tentacles around.
"Inside of your mind, I can extract and project myself, assuming my original shape because your thoughts clearly remember what I look like," She explained.
"Jenova..." I did recognize the headless horror towering above me, hardly listening to her words.
"Do you still reject me?" Jenova crept towards me, encircling a long arm around my waist, lifting me off the floor, blood dripping from my hands and face.
"Where is this blood coming from? I'm not cut! Where are Zack and Sephiroth?" I cried out, Jenova's revolting form bringing me closer to her.
"Your foolish figures of illusion are dead and not here to help you in this corner of your mind. Only you and me. Why do you reject me? Embrace me, Cloud! We can be great together!" Jenova commanded, shaking me roughly, throwing me to the floor.
"How can you hurt me physically inside of my mind?" I spat out some blood, pushing myself off the ground.
"I am a part of you, Cloud. I am in each and every one of your cells. And I can use this fact to turn your cells against you, causing physical harm at your weakest point. And your mind has been very weakened from the last month or two," Jenova laughed a little.
"If I continue to resist you, what can you do?" I challenged her power.
"I can kill you," she stated simply, once more picking me up. "Just embrace the power of Jenova and I won't ever harm you." She squeezed me tight, my breath escaping me.
"Fuck off," I twisted out of her hold, falling to the ground.
"What? Then I will just crush your resistance like I've done in the past and we will continue living as me being dominant and you being inferior!" Jenova roared, striking me across the chest with her long slender arm, a red welt appeared on my soft skin.
I recoiled and held my wound. "I'm tired of you controlling my life! I'm sick of being your slave! You cannot kill me inside of my own mind!" I shouted defiantly.
"Embrace me or die, puppet!" She shrieked and slashed downward, catching me across the shoulder and chest again.
I yelled out in pain and fell to the floor, blood dripping from my cut, adding to the pool already surrounding me. I flung myself from the ground, wiping blood from my split lip.
"I'd rather die than serve you like Sephiroth did!" I shouted, ignoring the pulsating pain rippling through my chest.
"I'm sick of playing this game of your pathetic resistance to me. It's hindering my growth and yours because I have to concentrate entirely on keeping your pitiful mind under my control. Embrace me and we won't have to worry about that. We would function as mother and son," she proposed her idea to me.
"That's not what I want! That's only what you want! You just want full control over me so you can kill Tifa, but I won't ever let you get her! Ever!" I cried out as her body quivered with anger.
"Stupid boy! Stupid stupid boy! Tifa is your one strong point, if she is gone, then you would be broken completely to my will and your resistance against me would be significantly lowered. But if you embrace me, I will spare Tifa and all your friends," Jenova once more lifted me up with her tentacle holding me close to her headless body.
"You...you will spare Tifa? You won't harm her at all?" I warily asked.
"Embrace me now and I won't harm her. Or you can continue to resist and I can kill you here unless you beg for my mercy and offer complete cooperation. Then I won't promise I won't kill Tifa once I am in full control over your body and mind," Jenova seductively whispered.
"So I either resist and die, resist and possible risk losing Tifa's life, or I can not resist at all and Tifa will be spared entirely?" I asked carefully.
"That's right," Jenova seemed almost to snicker.
"How do I know that you will keep your promise and not harm Tifa at all if I chose to cooperate?" I really didn't want Tifa in danger at all.
"You'll have to trust me," Jenova's chilly voice spoke.
"I don't have much of a choice do I?" I thought it all over in my mind.
"Not really. I will kill you now if you choose to resist, unless you beg for my mercy. Trust me that if you choose to resist, I will have you begging for death when I'm through with you. You know my power and what I'm capable of, Cloud. Make the right choice," Jenova laughed.
"Why do I have this choice? Usually I have no say in the matter."
"That last flicker of yourself that lies in your mind still resists me and hinders everything. I'm giving you an opportunity to spare Tifa's life in exchange for complete cooperation. I can't possibly help get you out of jail without full control over you. And in this exact position right now, you're useless to me, so I need your cooperation to get you the way I want you," Jenova spoke softly.
"I...I love Tifa and I don't want anything bad to happen to her at my hands, but I can't trust you. You're full of lies," I shot her a glare.
"Bad choice, Cloud," Jenova spat and threw me against the wall with full force, my side cracking against the ivory marble fireplace.
"Fuck you," I struggled to breath.
"I gave you an opportunity to free yourself from this pain you will soon feel!" Her revolting form grew red with anger as she slashed down at me again and again with her bloated arm, each strike digging deeper into my skin.
I slid backwards, slipping on my blood staining the ivory room, holding my bleeding chest and shoulder, wincing against the pain in my ribs.
"Foolish child! Now I'll kill you!" she screamed, jumping forward to attack.
I threw myself out of her reach and wished my Ultima Weapon were with me so I could slice her in half.
Instead, I broke off the end leg of the ivory table in the ivory room, nails still protruding from its end. It reminded me faintly of my old Nail Bat- I could use this as a weapon.
"Get back!" my voice trembled as I waved my weapon in front of me.
She swung a tentacle down at me, just as I swung up with the 'nail bat', smacking it right against her, ripping the nail through her tough skin. She shrieked and quickly recoiled her bloody tentacle. "You filth! Strike me again and I shall kill you!"
I charged her, trying hard to ignore the pain spreading in my chest, and the tears threatening to fall in my eyes. I raised my weapon and jumped up, striking her right in the chest, twisting the nail into her flesh, hearing her cry out in anger and pain.
I fell back, out of breath and bloody, trying to steady the beating of my own racing heart. I rose the 'nail bat' for another strike, when suddenly, Jenova's morbid body shrunk in size.
Her form grew long chocolate brown hair and sunk to the floor, her bubbly skin turning silky, her bloated body becoming slender. She lay on the floor and looked up at me with beautiful crimson eyes.
I gasped...not believing the metamorphis I just witnessed.
I began carefully walking forward, not sure if it was all a dream or not and noticed how the ivory walls and soft ivory carpet seemed to glow as though bathed in pure moonlight, yet there was no light source in the room.
In horror, I noticed a stream of crimson blood snaking it's way across the pure carpet, tainting its beauty, trailing from me. Looking down, I saw blood dripping from my fingertips although no cut was present.
Turning back, I saw my footprints were soaked in blood. I held my hands up. They were soaked with rich blood, dripping down my arms, covering my hands entirely in a glossy sheen of scarlet.
"No! Why is this happening to me?" I whispered in fear, staring as the blood around me pooled thicker on the ivory carpet.
"Stop this!" I demanded, throwing my arms up, grasping my head, brushing back my spikes with my hands. "What's wrong with me?" I cried out, watching the glowing room suddenly turn gray as my blood darkened the floor.
Bloody strands of blonde hung in front of my face, tiny droplets of blood dripping from them. Why am I bleeding? I'm not cut!
My eyes wide with terror and guilt, I watched as my blood soaked through the room, forever marring it's gentle ivory glow and perfection. I felt hot tears leak down my face involuntarily.
"Why...why do I ruin everything I touch?" I shook my head, hearing my blood lightly splatter against the pure walls, spraying from my soaked blonde strands.
I knelt in the center of the room, feeling guilty and helpless, every ounce of my body trembling.
"I didn't mean to do this..." I whispered sadly to myself. "...make it stop..."
My heart quickened and I felt Jenova's caress pass over me once again, sending a chill up my spine...
I stumbled across the ivory room, confused, while Jenova tugged at my mind more and more. When I wasn't conscious her grasp on me weakened, but the sickening feel of her touch always returned once I awoke.
/Useless boy/ she spoke cruelly to me and suddenly something smacked me from the side, sending me flying against the crimson splattered ivory wall.
I lay on the floor, coughing, my blood slippery on the tiles now beneath me. My ribs ached from smacking against the bricked wall.
/You're pathetic and weak. Useless to me in this condition, but I will remold you to fit into what I want done./ Jenova hissed in my ear.
"Leave me alone," I weakly muttered, holding my side injured by the wall.
I lay in a pool of my own blood, staining the beautiful ivory room, turning it into a bloody nightmare.
/When I'm through with you, you'll beg me to take your life. You will learn to accept me with no resistance and bond with me entirely./ Her voice grew hostile.
"I'm already begging you to take my life. What more do you want? If I'm useless to you, release me, 'Mother'," I solemnly requested, breathing heavily from fear and pain.
/I shall remold you into the 'son' I need to accomplish what I want./
"You don't care if I suffer as long as you get what you want..." I spat, sitting up against the bloody scenery.
I coughed weakly. "What are you trying to accomplish?"
/Full control over you once I force you to embrace and accept me with no resistance. We can accomplish great things if you would only embrace your mother, like Sephiroth did./ the heartless creature spoke.
"I'm tired. Just leave me alone! Let me be! You already fucked up my life enough. Kill me or get out of my life, get out of my mind!" I clutched my mind, hoping to make the voice vanish.
"Now you will learn true pain until you learn not to resist me in your mind," a cold female whispered close to my ear.
I turned swiftly, jumping away from the hideous being right next to me. I slid on the bloody tiles and fell backwards as the demon loomed over me.
"Wh...what...what are you?" I whimpered, my fear pulsating through my bones.
"You don't recognize your worst nightmare?" She asked, her bloated body waved her tentacles around.
"Inside of your mind, I can extract and project myself, assuming my original shape because your thoughts clearly remember what I look like," She explained.
"Jenova..." I did recognize the headless horror towering above me, hardly listening to her words.
"Do you still reject me?" Jenova crept towards me, encircling a long arm around my waist, lifting me off the floor, blood dripping from my hands and face.
"Where is this blood coming from? I'm not cut! Where are Zack and Sephiroth?" I cried out, Jenova's revolting form bringing me closer to her.
"Your foolish figures of illusion are dead and not here to help you in this corner of your mind. Only you and me. Why do you reject me? Embrace me, Cloud! We can be great together!" Jenova commanded, shaking me roughly, throwing me to the floor.
"How can you hurt me physically inside of my mind?" I spat out some blood, pushing myself off the ground.
"I am a part of you, Cloud. I am in each and every one of your cells. And I can use this fact to turn your cells against you, causing physical harm at your weakest point. And your mind has been very weakened from the last month or two," Jenova laughed a little.
"If I continue to resist you, what can you do?" I challenged her power.
"I can kill you," she stated simply, once more picking me up. "Just embrace the power of Jenova and I won't ever harm you." She squeezed me tight, my breath escaping me.
"Fuck off," I twisted out of her hold, falling to the ground.
"What? Then I will just crush your resistance like I've done in the past and we will continue living as me being dominant and you being inferior!" Jenova roared, striking me across the chest with her long slender arm, a red welt appeared on my soft skin.
I recoiled and held my wound. "I'm tired of you controlling my life! I'm sick of being your slave! You cannot kill me inside of my own mind!" I shouted defiantly.
"Embrace me or die, puppet!" She shrieked and slashed downward, catching me across the shoulder and chest again.
I yelled out in pain and fell to the floor, blood dripping from my cut, adding to the pool already surrounding me. I flung myself from the ground, wiping blood from my split lip.
"I'd rather die than serve you like Sephiroth did!" I shouted, ignoring the pulsating pain rippling through my chest.
"I'm sick of playing this game of your pathetic resistance to me. It's hindering my growth and yours because I have to concentrate entirely on keeping your pitiful mind under my control. Embrace me and we won't have to worry about that. We would function as mother and son," she proposed her idea to me.
"That's not what I want! That's only what you want! You just want full control over me so you can kill Tifa, but I won't ever let you get her! Ever!" I cried out as her body quivered with anger.
"Stupid boy! Stupid stupid boy! Tifa is your one strong point, if she is gone, then you would be broken completely to my will and your resistance against me would be significantly lowered. But if you embrace me, I will spare Tifa and all your friends," Jenova once more lifted me up with her tentacle holding me close to her headless body.
"You...you will spare Tifa? You won't harm her at all?" I warily asked.
"Embrace me now and I won't harm her. Or you can continue to resist and I can kill you here unless you beg for my mercy and offer complete cooperation. Then I won't promise I won't kill Tifa once I am in full control over your body and mind," Jenova seductively whispered.
"So I either resist and die, resist and possible risk losing Tifa's life, or I can not resist at all and Tifa will be spared entirely?" I asked carefully.
"That's right," Jenova seemed almost to snicker.
"How do I know that you will keep your promise and not harm Tifa at all if I chose to cooperate?" I really didn't want Tifa in danger at all.
"You'll have to trust me," Jenova's chilly voice spoke.
"I don't have much of a choice do I?" I thought it all over in my mind.
"Not really. I will kill you now if you choose to resist, unless you beg for my mercy. Trust me that if you choose to resist, I will have you begging for death when I'm through with you. You know my power and what I'm capable of, Cloud. Make the right choice," Jenova laughed.
"Why do I have this choice? Usually I have no say in the matter."
"That last flicker of yourself that lies in your mind still resists me and hinders everything. I'm giving you an opportunity to spare Tifa's life in exchange for complete cooperation. I can't possibly help get you out of jail without full control over you. And in this exact position right now, you're useless to me, so I need your cooperation to get you the way I want you," Jenova spoke softly.
"I...I love Tifa and I don't want anything bad to happen to her at my hands, but I can't trust you. You're full of lies," I shot her a glare.
"Bad choice, Cloud," Jenova spat and threw me against the wall with full force, my side cracking against the ivory marble fireplace.
"Fuck you," I struggled to breath.
"I gave you an opportunity to free yourself from this pain you will soon feel!" Her revolting form grew red with anger as she slashed down at me again and again with her bloated arm, each strike digging deeper into my skin.
I slid backwards, slipping on my blood staining the ivory room, holding my bleeding chest and shoulder, wincing against the pain in my ribs.
"Foolish child! Now I'll kill you!" she screamed, jumping forward to attack.
I threw myself out of her reach and wished my Ultima Weapon were with me so I could slice her in half.
Instead, I broke off the end leg of the ivory table in the ivory room, nails still protruding from its end. It reminded me faintly of my old Nail Bat- I could use this as a weapon.
"Get back!" my voice trembled as I waved my weapon in front of me.
She swung a tentacle down at me, just as I swung up with the 'nail bat', smacking it right against her, ripping the nail through her tough skin. She shrieked and quickly recoiled her bloody tentacle. "You filth! Strike me again and I shall kill you!"
I charged her, trying hard to ignore the pain spreading in my chest, and the tears threatening to fall in my eyes. I raised my weapon and jumped up, striking her right in the chest, twisting the nail into her flesh, hearing her cry out in anger and pain.
I fell back, out of breath and bloody, trying to steady the beating of my own racing heart. I rose the 'nail bat' for another strike, when suddenly, Jenova's morbid body shrunk in size.
Her form grew long chocolate brown hair and sunk to the floor, her bubbly skin turning silky, her bloated body becoming slender. She lay on the floor and looked up at me with beautiful crimson eyes.
I gasped...not believing the metamorphis I just witnessed.