Shadows and Echoes
Chapter 2
(.x.)
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you put your hand on top of mine,
you're talking fast but talking blind
and I can't bring myself to meet your eyes
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When Jade got home, she was out of breath; her chest heaved up and down and her throat burned with forbidden tears she refused to let fall. Jade West didn't cry- at least not in public. Her stomach churned from all the spaghetti Mrs. Vega made sure she shoveled into her mouth before her consistent questions and Tori's worried glances. Too exhausted to push open the large, oak door the led to her living room, Jade collapsed upon the marble tiles in her front porch, her baggy top bunching around her middle. Her clothes were eating her up. Slowly, her eyes fluttered shut and she swore she heard her mother calling her name, but she couldn't be sure because darkness greeted her soon after, with soft kisses over her eyelids and gentle whispers into her ear, lulling her to sleep.
"Oh, Jade, what have you done?" With a light kiss on her cheek.
She swore it was real.
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When she woke up, her stepmother was pacing around her bedroom, chewing down on her lower lip. She was murmuring to herself, rubbing her hands together. The familiar taste of disdain and displeasure flooded into Jade's system when Annie rushed to her side and scooped up her hand inside of her own. "Jade, are you okay?" she asked teary eyed.
Jade mustered the strength to pull her hand weakly from her stepmother and inched away from her. Annie's green eyes glimmered with worry, fear and for a faint second, Jade thought she saw a familiar emotion fleeting across her face, but she couldn't be sure. Annie always gave her that look, and Jade hated it. She hated it because she remembered that look, but it was never on Annie's face. It was never in her seaweed green eyes, but rather dark, mysterious chocolate ones.
"Don't touch me," Jade grunted while trying to push herself up off the bed, "what happened?"
"You collapsed," Annie murmured softly, pushing some stray blonde curls behind her ear, "I heard you fall and brought you inside."
"You brought me inside?" The younger girl sneered, holding unto her bedpost for support. Annie blinked, hurt etched across her face before she stood up, pulled at her tank top and made her way to Jade.
"The doctor said you are dehydrated and your body doesn't have enough nutrients." She paused, "and I noticed you lost a lot of weight recently. I know something is wrong, Jade. Tell me right now, do you have an-"
"Stop right there," Jade commanded, holding one of her tiny hands up in the air. She struggled to move closer to Annie, her jaw clenched and her eyes burning red with anger. Before she got the chance to finish, she stumbled and found herself falling face forward. She braced herself for the impact, and winced when Annie's tanned arms encircled her shoulders. Jade tried to push her away, but she was just so tired.
"Let's get you back to bed." Annie whispered, rubbing circles into her back. Jade had seen her do this many times to her little brother Jonah, and if she tries hard enough, she thinks she remembers her own mother hugging her like this when she was a child, but she isn't sure. She tried to resist Annie, to push her away, but she was so tired and the room was spinning and all of a sudden Annie had chocolate eyes instead of seaweed green and she really needed to lie down.
"Oh, Jade, what have you done?" With a light kiss on her cheek.
She swore it was real.
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Monday morning, against Annie's wishes (not like Jade had ever cared for them), Jade went to school. Well rather Annie refused to let her drive and had her father confiscate her car keys (another reason why Jade couldn't stand her) and so after dropping her annoying little brother off at kindergarten, she had Al their driver, drop her off at Hollywood Arts.
She hated that big, black car.
She hated it.
She rushed out of the car before Al could even unbuckle his seat-belt and open the door for her, large black sunglasses perched upon her face. She re-adjusted the bag strap on her shoulder and ignored Al's friendly wave goodbye before storming off. She made sure to keep on the lookout for Tori Vega. It wasn't that she was afraid of Tori, but she knew if Tori found out about her little Sleeping Beauty act on her front porch, she would never leave her alone (as if she wasn't already sticking to her side like a disgusting leech). Then Tori might show up at her house and get chummy with Annie and then, Jade made a face, who knew what could happen when the two of them got involved in her life.
Tori and Annie.
Even their stupid names sounded similar.
Jade shoved her bag roughly inside her locker, before cautiously glancing around the hallway to see if Tori was lurking anywhere, then took large strides to the bathroom.
She had to see what was new today.
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The first time Jade saw it, she had looked up at the back of the bathroom door because, well, there was nothing else to do when she was peeing. When she was done, she took a step closer and squinted at her name written in a thick black sharpie. It wasn't the only name up here, but it was the only one written in such a thick marker. She reached up and drew her index finger across the word.
Bitch.
It made her scoff and roll her eyes, if this person had any balls at all, they would tell her to her face and not write it on the inside of some stupid bathroom stall.
Curiosity brought her to the same stall a week later after she asked to be excused from another one of Sikowitz's dumb class. She made sure all the stalls were empty before she locked herself inside.
Bitch.
Gank.
Asshole.
She let out a crude laugh, as if she didn't know those things about herself already.
The third time she paid a visit to her stall, because by now, Ashley James' list of insults had been written over in a purple marker by one of Jade's critics, there were not only nouns there but rather, full sentences.
Jade West is evil.
I hate Jade West.
She should be alone forever.
The latest addition, it seems, was scratched into the door with what Jade assumed to be a compass from someone's geometry set.
Jade West is a F A T bitch.
She blinked once, twice and the third time she felt dampness on her cheek. Her hand wiped the tear away, but she was dismayed to find that it wasn't just a single tear, a flood soon followed, silent and all-consuming; the worst kind. She stayed still, sucking in deep breaths.
Since when was she ever fat?
As a child she had ridiculously chubby cheeks, but she thought she outgrew them and left them with her childhood, where they belonged.
A shaky hand gently traced the word over and over until the bell rang and it was fourth period.
F A T
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Today, she had to see what else her offenders had added. She had to see what else she was doing wrong. It wasn't like she cared what they thought or anything, she was just confused. She was the most popular girl in the whole of Hollywood Arts, she was friends with all the seniors and they always came to her for advice about their screenplays when they needed it. She got invited to their parties and played beer pong with them. She met their siblings and hell, they would randomly call her up just to hangout when they were bored but she always turned them down.
Well, she used to.
Beck hated it when she went anywhere without him, he always wanted in on those parties and she hated how he acted around the seniors so she chose to ignore their invitations. But now that she was single, sans Beck Oliver, she had no reason to turn them down. They kept asking though, they were always asking. But it was okay, because she was supposed to be well loved, wasn't she?
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Jade West is cold.
She didn't deserve Beck.
She should be more like Tori.
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Jade West is sick.
Oh boo, that WHORE. She should die.
Jade lost weight, maybe she's finally taking our advice.
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Jade looks better this way.
She doesn't speak anymore.
She is chasing everyone away.
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I'm glad I'm not friends with her. I hate her.
Poor Tori. I feel bad for her, she's always trying to help Jade.
I want to kill her.
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In her hand, she was clutching a black sharpie of her own. Her chest sounded in her ears, roaring in resistance but her heart was just so weak, so very weak that she could not bring herself to stop. Her hands shook and her writing was rickety. Her insides clenched and she felt bile rising in her throat, but she never stopped. She was getting dizzy again from writing a stupid sentence. A single stupid sentence, and when she was done her body fell still. She was calm, her mind went blank and her chest thrummed softly, crying bloody tears that slowly travelled around her body, mournfully. She took a step back and admired her work.
Jade West is broken.
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Cat and Andre were huddled by Andre's locker, their heads bent together as they whispered solemnly to each other. Tori wanted to ask them what they were whispering about, because it seemed like they were always whispering about something or the other. Across the hall, Robbie was having an avid conversation with Rex in his hands, while Beck was getting some books from his locker.
With Jade's mini explosion on the weekend after the disastrous dinner, Tori hadn't been able to focus much. There were many times when she had picked up her cell phone, ready to call Jade so they could talk it out, because texting really wouldn't do the job, but Tori's mom had told her to give Jade some time too cool down. All everyone ever said was to give Jade some space and frankly, Tori didn't agree.
She was afraid that if she took a step back, Jade would take advantage of said space and wiggle her way through until she was out of Tori's grasp completely. Then Tori would have no chance at getting her back. She couldn't risk that, she couldn't risk losing Jade completely.
She didn't know why she was clinging to Jade the way she did, well, maybe she did. Tori's parents were never around and when they were, they were always running away when she looked for advice. Trina, because of their parents' negligence, acted out in whatever way she could. All Tori really wanted was a role model- someone she could look up to, and while she loved Trina dearly, there was no way she could seek any advice from her older sister. Tori had nobody to comfort her, nobody to ask her how her day was and wait for her answer. She wanted someone to look out for her, the way a real sister or parents should and she wanted Jade to be that person.
When she was a child, Tori would envision the older sister she wanted. She would be passionate, strong willed and opinionated. She would always protect Tori from the bullies and would never let her out of her sight. She would be one of those hardcore girls with the soft, surprise center. Jade West was the ideal sister Tori had always wanted.
.
"Jade," Tori overhead Beck say later that morning, "you lost some weight, didn't you? You look nice." He gave Jade a wide smile and Jade shrugged her shoulders in response. "I always told you that you should work out with me, but you never did."
Tori gritted her teeth and she felt Andre stiffen in the seat next to her. "Beck, what the hell are you doing?" Tori asked when Cat stole Jade's attention and hammered on about her brother for the next few minutes.
Beck shot Tori a curious look and Robbie scratched his scalp nervously, "what are you talking about?"
"Why would you bring that up with, Jade, man? That ain't cool." Andre shook his dreds and Beck's face hardened.
"She's lost too much weight. It isn't healthy. She doesn't eat." Tori hissed and Beck pursed his lips together and narrowed his eyes.
"Are you implying that I am the reason she stopped eating?" He responded darkly, and Tori was taken aback; she had never heard Beck use this voice before.
"No, but-"
"Well good. Then I do believe this conversation is over." Beck said coolly before turning around in his seat. Andre sucked his teeth and Tori put her hand on his thigh, a silent signal for him to calm down. Tori didn't know exactly what just happened, but Beck had somehow transformed into a dragon, he bared his teeth and growled before he turned into the Beck Oliver she knew, stony faced and silent.
"Andre, I'm scared." Tori whispered when Cat had dragged Robbie into her conversation with Jade. "What if something bad happens to Jade?"
Andre looked over at his best friends, he saw her unruly hair and the way her eyes glinted with tears. She sniffled softly and brought a fist to stop herself from crying. "Nothing is going to happen. We'll help her Tori, we'll help her. Don't worry." He brought a hand around her shoulder and she snuggled into his side.
"Tori, are you okay?" Cat whimpered after scampering next to them, dropping Mr. Longneck in the process. Robbie bent down to pick up her beloved stuffed animal and handed it to her after nudging her ever so slightly.
"I just feel kind of sick today, that's all." She said, her voice muffled by Andre's shirt.
"Sick like Jade," Rex cackled from Robbie's hand.
Jade froze and clenched her arms before she grabbed the puppet and slammed it as hard as she could against the nearest wall at the back of the walls behind Tori and Andre. With a sickening crack, Rex's plastic head cracked open and split down the middle of his face. Robbie spluttered and he went so much as to push Cat out of the way to get to his puppet.
"What is wrong with you?" Robbie shrieked, cradling Rex in his hands.
"I did you a favor, you can thank me later."
"Why are you such a gank?" Robbie looked up at her, eyes brimming with tears, just like the last time. "I almost lost him once, I don't want to lose him again."
"You're turning seventeen soon, that's no way for a teenage boy to live." She spoke slowly, seemingly unfazed by his gank comment- at least he said it to her face right? Somehow it hurt less than the writing on the wall.
[F A T]
[D I E]
"I hate you," Robbie whispered before darting out of the room like a preteen girl going through puberty.
[G A N K]
[S L U T]
"Oh, I know." Jade said when she thought nobody was listening. "I know all about that, actually."
[I HATE HER]
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(.x.)
Edited. Psh-yeah.