A/N SORRY I'M SU SORRY TO THOSE WHO THOUGHT I DIED (if there are any of you) SO HERE. MY LONGEST FIRST CHAPTER EVER (I think) PLEASE DUNT KILL ME~
Prologue from Arthur Kirkland's POV- November 1, 2012 at 6.32 a.m.
DISCLAIMER: We do not own Hetalia; we are not affiliated with Hetalia, or own any trademarks with Hetalia. This story is its own story with its own story line. It does not represent/accurately represent the anime itself. Any material(s) found on this is its own entire story with its own individual plot. Material(s) found on this page is only made for the use of this collaboration. Any redistributions of this is not condoned unless by the creators, BlackyAlex, ToastTheSecretAgent, PyroPotter, and BillyGod. If anybody says we own copyright over the material(s), we only own copyright to the idea, not the story itself or affiliates.
Pyro's Continuity Disclaimer: This story is in a different storyline than the rest of the stories I've written only for the purposes of the collaboration. This storyline is not affiliated with Confessions, Doesn't matter to me, or Savior in any way, shape, or form (You have no idea what those are, do you?). This is its own story with its own storyline.
Enjoy, Lassies!
I wake up to yet another rainy day. It's the umpteenth one in as long as I can remember. I sigh and go on making myself some tea and biscuits for elevenses. After I finish with my quick meal I quickly grab an umbrella and head towards the nearest grocery market. Sadly, it happens to be one of America's "Walmarts", but I digress and head inside. Speaking of the asshat, I hear America recently went through his elections, but it doesn't seem like he's changed at all in a while. He's still the same old bastard I raised 407 years ago, and still has those stupid presidents. Why can't he just get a queen, or a prime minister, or both like me? I don't get all these younger nations (I'm 1 969 years old, goddamit! Then again, Ross is about 10 252, don't tell him I told you).
I immediately head for the food section and started looking for quality tea. I quickly find some of my favorite brand and head to the electronics section. Halfway there, suddenly, I drop my tea and clutch my chest. I feel a disturbance in the United Nations. "I think my cooking's just been insulted. AGAIN?! GOD BLOODY DAMMIT! I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER INSULTED IT THIS TIME!" Some bystanders look at me funny, so I clear my throat, pick up my tea, and keep walking. My Telly broke down last week and I need to replace it. I find one I like, put it in the cart, and head straight to the checkout area. After the nice lady scans them and gives me the price, I paid the £2502 they cost (not counting tax) and head home in the rain. I open the door to my house just to get a bunch of cold water splashed onto my umbrella and clothing. I hear Cody's characteristic laughter and George's big boots running away as I sigh and go to my room to change.
I change quickly into my World War II uniform since it's the only clean clothes I have left. Mental note, do the bloody laundry before Ross sets it on fire. As I leave my room I duck a water balloon aimed at my head and decide to run for the kitchen. I barely make it before James tackles the spot where I was running past a few seconds before. He bounces off of the wall and hits the floor hard. I go to his side, but not before grabbing the First Aid Kit from the kitchen. As soon as I bend down to look at his injuries, Quin pushes me down and looks at his brother (ignoring the fact that I'm his brother too!). "What was that for, you bloody git?" I scream at him. "Look at what you've done to me brother! Have ye no shame?" Quin yells at me. I look over at James and see blood running down his nose. It's probably broken. "What are you yelling at me for, you git! First of all, HE charged ME, and second of all, it's hardly MY fault since that would have happened to me if I didn't get out of the way!" I find myself ranting. Quin looks about ready to punch me, but Ross intervenes, and for once in my long existence I'm glad to see him.
"Now, now, laddy, it was just some 'armless fun. And as Artur over 'ere says, it was just an 'armless prank. Ain't 'is fault someone got hurt." Ross gives his ridiculously short speech, then snatches the First Aid kit from me and proceeds healing James, not giving a shite if me and Quin beat the living daylights out of each other.
This is exactly what we did.
As soon as Ross stops holding Quin back, he charges me. I sidestep and grab his shoulder as he passes. He punches me in the gut to counter the grab, and I kick his shins out. He falls down, but grabs my arm as he falls, pulling me down with him. I punch his face and he kicks me in the chest. Suddenly, I find myself backed against the wall with my favorite cooking knife hovering over my heart. "'S all over, little England. O' how the mighty fall" Quin starts gloating, which gives me enough time to grab the knife, embed it very deeply in the wall next to me, and shove Quin against the opposite wall. I grab my British Bull Dog revolver that I always carry with me and shove it against Quin's temple. "Don't move," I say, daring him. Sure enough, he steps on my foot, and I'm about to blow the bastard's brains out when the doorbell distracts me. Quin grabs the pistol, pistol-whips me with it, and throws it through the window. Whoever rang that doorbell better have a good fucking reason to have distracted me.
When I reach the doorbell, the entire household is crowded around it (minus Ross and James, of course). Quin, Cody, Toby, Benjamin, George, Matthew and the rest are all there. Suddenly, the doorbell rings again. And again. And again. There are only two people who'd ring the doorbell that much just to spite me, and judging by how fast it was ringing, it was probably both of them. I open the door only to find Alfred and Francis pushing the doorbell ridiculously fast, with Enrique behind them. Enrique is the only one that notices me, and he rushes to the door and gives me a big hug. "Grandpa!" He says, to which I reply "Don't call me that," He puts on a pouty face, and just before I give in he spots Benjamin behind me. "Hermano! Como estas en este dia?" He says, rushing to greet his cousin. "Estoy muy bien, hermano! Como esta tu dia? No nos amos visto desde el mes pasado! Inglaterra no nos dejaban salir de la casa debido a las travesuras de Ross! Es bastante mano de hierro a la hora de gobernar sobre nosotros." Benjamin replies, giving Enrique a high five. They both know well that I can't stand Spanish being spoken in the household! And that I can't understand it, either. It's become their official secret code.
By this time, Francis and Alfred (The bloody gits!) have finally noticed that the door is open and stopped ringing the doorbell. "Hey, Artie, dude!" Alfred greets me with, to which I respond promptly by slamming the door in his face. "Come back when you've learned to call me Arthur, not Artie or dude!" I shout at the git through the door. He and Francis immediately start ringing the doorbell again, to which I give in quickly. I slam open the door (This can be done! It takes skill, though) and shout at them "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SODDING GITS WANT?!" "Finally, Arthur. Nous recevions peur que* you wouldn't open the door again" Francis says. "You know I bloody well that I can't understand your sodding French, frog!" I scream at him. "Aww, Arthur, please be nice to Uncle Francis. Él cocina mejor que tú*!" Benjamin, Francis, and Enrique start laughing so hard they fall on the floor, and I feel as if I'm being left out of a huge joke. "So, Frog, Asshat, what do you want anyways?!" I tell the two still in the doorway. Francis replies with "Nous étions juste de passage et je voulais visiter notre cher ami / ennemi*!". I know enough French* to get the gist of what he was saying. "Oh, well isn't that a sodding Hallmark moment, now if you're done saying 'hello', get the bloody hell out!" I try to say gentlemanly, but it ends up somewhat screaming at the end.
"Hey! Come on, Arthur, please let us stay! Enrique and Benjamin haven't seen each other in a month, and if you don't let them catch up now, they'll be sneaking out of our houses at night to catch up in the darkness. And that eventually leads to Benjamin rebelling like I did, won't it? Plus, I need to catch up with Mattie, and Francis needs to have a word with you. So please~?" America drags out that last syllable until he's basically shrieking and I find myself shouting "ALRIGHT! YOU CAN STAY FOR A WHILE, JUST DON'T MAKE A BLOODY MESS, ALRIGHT?!" Almost instantly they rush inside, flattening me while Alfred runs to Matthew. Francis looks around for me before I clear my throat and he realizes that he's standing on my left arm. "Ah! L'Anglettere. We need to talk about something" He shoots a sideward glance at Ross (who'd just appeared with a healed James) and adds, "And somewhere en secret, please?" He extends a hand to help me up.
"Fine, Frog," I say, ignoring his extended hand and getting up on my own. I head towards the study with Francis in tow, duly noting the smirks on my brothers' faces at my discomfort. I'll get them back for it later, but first I have to figure out what the Frog wants that's so bloody well important. I let him go inside the study, then close and lock the door behind us. We search the entire room, but can't find any spies. So, we take our seats and I prepare for the Frog to tell his story. "So, L'Anglettere, me, Gilbert, and Antonio decided to throw a party! So we went on an invitation-giving spree! I'm taking North and North-Western Europe. North America, and Africa. Antonio is taking South Europe and South America. Gilbert is taking all of Eastern Europe and Asia, and his little bird (bless it) is taking on all of Océanie!" So a party, huh? Well my mind was made up. "So, are you co-" "No." I stated firmly, interrupting him. "Wha~ But Anglettere, you must reconsider!" He started frantically yelling. "I'm not going to reconsider anything, frog." I firmly got out of my chair and left the room.
I headed to where Alfred and Matthew were and firmly told Alfred to leave. He pouted a lot, but when I tried to be hospitable and give him lunch, he ran away faster than Mint Bunny can fly! I then opened the lunch and nommed on the sandwich that was inside for a while. Suddenly, Ross walks up to me. "Hey, Laddy! I was thinking and, why don't we go drinking tonight! It'll be fun!" I look at him with a long-suffering scowl. "No. I promised I'd never drink again. I don't break promises, alright?" "Well, what about the time when-" "Get in the car. We're going to the pub NOW." Everyone rushed into the car and wondered what Ross was going to say before I interrupted him. I got at the wheel and headed towards the nearest pub.
Funny thing, really. I forgot why I stopped drinking. Only afterwards would I remember. I get really drunk, really fast. And I do things I regret when drunk. Last time I went skipping through Vash's yard wearing only a Union Jack pair of underpants and a bowtie! Good thing Francis and Vash are neighbors or I would probably have ended up dead. Anyways, I do stupid things when I'm pissed (means drunk, mind you!). This time that involved calling Francis and saying me and the rest of The British Isles would be there the next day. Considering the events of later, I assume this was Ross' plan from the start.