Once Chloe was seated in the mostly empty office that seemed way too clinical and sterile, the doctor took a deep breath. "Beca lost a lot of blood and she's still unconscious. We're doing our best to wake her up, I promise you that."
Chloe nodded slowly as the doctor spoke. "Is she ever gonna wake up?" She whispered.
"As I said, we are doing our best to try to wake her up, but she might be out for a while. You're lucky that your friend found her when she did. A few minutes later and she would have been gone." The doctor looked at Chloe with a small smile. "You're welcome to stay in her room if you want." She said before leading Chloe back to Stacie.
Stacie pulled the redhead into a tight hug and Chloe just rested her head on the taller woman's shoulder.
"You can go home, Stace." Chloe said softly. "It's late. I'll call you if anything changes."
Stacie nodded as she pulled away from the hug. When Stacie had left, Chloe slowly walked into Beca's room. She was afraid to look at her. Chloe pulled a chair over to the side of Beca's bed before she lifted her head and looked at the brunette. As soon as she saw her, Chloe broke down crying. She grabbed onto Beca's cold hand as she cried. "I'm so sorry, Bec… I should have stayed with you. I should have changed your mind." She whispered. Chloe stroked Beca's cheek, careful not to touch any of the tubes or wires hooked up to the younger girl. "I love you so much, Beca…" She placed a kiss on her forehead. "Please don't die… I can't live without you… I need you, Becs…" Chloe said before she sat down on the chair.
A few hours later when a nurse came to check on Beca, Chloe was asleep in the chair next to bed. The redhead was still holding Beca's hand. The nurse placed a hand on Chloe's shoulder, trying to wake her up. "Miss?" She said softly. Chloe slowly lifted her head and looked up at the nurse. "I need to ask you to move back a little. I need to do a check of Miss Mitchell." Chloe nodded softly as she stood up and moved to the other side of Beca's bed.
"Call me Chloe." She smiled a little as the nurse nodded.
"So, Chloe, how are you related to Miss Mitchell? I need to ask because only family can stay during the night." The nurse said while she concentrated on checking Beca.
"She's… We're…" Chloe started not entirely sure how to answer the questions. "It's complicated… We've been together for almost five years and suddenly Beca just told me that she didn't feel anything anymore and I… I was so hurt that I just left her alone but then Stacie called me and told me that Beca had tried to kill herself…" Chloe said as the tears started falling down her cheeks again. "I shouldn't have left her alone… I should have stayed with her." Chloe took a deep breath as she ran a hand through her hair. Chloe flinched as she felt the nurse's hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry, Chloe. She'll wake up. You'll have a chance to sort this whole mess out. I promise." The nurse said with a small smile. "For now, Beca is stable and all we can do is wait for her to wake up." She said before she left the room. Chloe sat down next to Beca's bed again and took the younger girl's hand in her own. Beca had always been strong, but here in that moment she looked weak. Chloe had never seen the brunette look like this before, so fragile. Like she would break if Chloe squeezed her hand a little too hard. Even back when Beca got the phone call that her mother had passed away, the young girl had still remained strong and didn't cry in front of anyone, not even Chloe. She just shut everyone out until the funeral and when Beca came home again, everything went back to normal. Chloe had always admired how strong Beca was. She wished that she could do the same, but the redhead usually just cried for a few hours whenever something happened. Usually Beca let Chloe cry on her shoulder, but this time she had to turn to Aubrey. Chloe hesitantly pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Aubrey's number.
"Hey, Chlo, did you take my keys?" Aubrey asked as soon as she picked up.
"Yeah, sorry that I didn't wake you up but Stacie called… Beca almost killed herself. I'm at the hospital." Chloe explained.
"Wait, so she breaks up with you and then almost kills herself? What the fuck is wrong with her?" Chloe could almost hear Aubrey laughing a little.
"Bree, please don't do this… I just called you for advice." Chloe sighed.
"Fine, sorry. Go on."
"The nurse asked me if I was family and I had such a hard time answering that question… I just, blacked out. What if Beca doesn't want me here when she wakes up? What if she gets mad that Stacie called me instead of Jesse?" Chloe asked.
"Okay, Chloe. You need to relax. I'm pretty sure that what Beca did was a cry for help. Your help. She obviously regrets what she said. I'm sure that she will be happy to see you there by her side. If she does get mad, Stacie will-" Aubrey was cut off by Chloe's voice.
"Bree, I need to go, I think that she's waking up." Chloe hung up as Beca slowly opened her eyes and looked around the bright room. "Hey…" The redhead said softly.
"Chloe?" Beca said as she coughed a little.
"It's alright. Stacie found you and brought you here and then called me. You don't have to explain anything, but I'm gonna go find a nurse so we can make sure that everything is fine." Chloe stood up and pressed a kiss to Beca's forehead before she left the room.
Beca ran a hand through her hair, cursing at herself as she felt her wrists and thighs sting. She lowered her hand and was met by the sight of a slightly bloodsoaked white bandage. 'It wasn't supposed to be like this… She shouldn't have found me' Beca thought to herself. It was never her plan to be found. It was her plan to leave this world and never come back, even if that meant never seeing Chloe's beautiful blue eyes again, but as soon as her eyes had adjusted to the light in the room and she saw those eyes, Beca couldn't help but feel guilty. Chloe was the best thing that had ever happened to her so how could she be so selfish and just try to leave like that? Beca was forced out of her thoughts when Chloe entered the room with a young nurse right behind her. The girl couldn't be older than 25, the same age as Beca.
"So, Beca. How are you feeling?" The nurse asked as she made her way over to the bed.
"Like crap." Beca scoffed. "Like someone ran me over a hundred times." She tried not to look at Chloe while she spoke.
"Well, that's normal considering what your body has been through." The nurse smiled a little before she continued. "We're just all happy that you're still with us." Chloe bit her lip and looked down at the floor while the nurse spoke. The young woman explained a lot of things to Beca, but Chloe just tuned it out, thinking about the talk they had about Beca's scars two years ago.
The couple laid in their bed on a sunday morning when Chloe slowly ran her fingers over the old scars on Beca's thighs that has started to fade away. "Do you ever think about doing again?" The redhead asked which took Beca by surprise.
"Uhm… I don't know. Sometimes, I guess. Depends on the day. Do you?" Beca turned to face Chloe, who nodded slightly.
"Almost everytime I see them." She looked down at her own arm. "But then I remember the night Aubrey found unconscious in the bathtub and had to call an ambulance. She was so pissed at me when I woke up again. It felt like she was yelling for over three hours. After that, I promised myself and her that I would never do it again."
"But you did." Beca whispered as she ran a finger over the few fresh cuts on Chloe's stomach as the redhead nodded.
"Yeah and I've regretted it since. I should have just talked to you and told you how shitty my day had been instead of hurting myself. I fucked up." She whispered, looking away from Beca.
"Hey." Beca turned Chloe's head with her finger. "I don't care. I still love you." She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Chloe's lips.
"I love you too." Chloe whispered against Beca's lips.
Chloe's train of thoughts was cut of when she saw Beca's dad, John Mitchell and his new wife, Sheila stepped inside.
"Beca. We were so worried when Stacie called us." They moved closer to the bed.
"Jesus Christ, that's perfect. Of course you're here right now and of course you brought her." Beca spat at her father and stepmother.
"Beca…" Sheila went over to the side of the bed. "I know that you don't like me, but I was actually really worried about you." She grabbed onto Beca's arm to take a look at the cuts. "Look what you did to yourself. Why would you do something like that?" Beca yanked her arm away from Sheila.
"I don't need you two here. I don't need your pity. You need to leave because you can't even accept who I am." She scoffed.
"Is this another one of your little outbursts about sudden being 'gay'? Because we've discussed this. She's just using you." John shot Chloe a look. "You were so much better off with Jesse. At least he didn't make you want to kill yourself."
"I think that you two should leave now." Chloe said as she stepped between Beca and her dad. "I've done nothing but love and cherish your daughter. She's was finally happy and this is how you repay her? Get out." Chloe could feel tears threaten to spill as she continued. "I never used your daughter or forced her to anything. I love her and I wanted to marry her. You know absolutely nothing about our lives because you don't have the guts to acknowledge the fact that your daughter found love." Chloe was sobbing at this point. "Get out!" She yelled before they left. After the door had closed, Chloe felt a hand hold onto her wrist.
"Thank you." Beca said softly. Chloe didn't look at her. She just nodded and dried her tears away. "Chlo… Please just look at me." Beca sighed. Chloe just shook her head. She needed air. Chloe couldn't deal with all of it right now. She slowly pulled her wrist away from Beca's grip as she walked out of the room. Chloe didn't stop walking before she was outside. She leaned against a wall as she took a deep breath. Chloe couldn't believe that she had lost her temper like that in front of Beca's dad, but he was right. Beca was happier with when she were with Jesse. Even the short time that she dated Stacie, she seemed happier than she did with Chloe. The problem was, Chloe hadn't noticed it before. She had been too in love to see all the signs.
Lately, Beca would stay out late and wouldn't come back until long after Chloe was already asleep. She would stay up when she was home and work on her mixes and when they were supposed to have couple days, Beca would suddenly just bail and go somewhere. Chloe never even noticed what was going on, she was blind.
When Chloe returned to the room an hour later, Beca was sleeping again. Chloe sat down next to the bed and let her finger run over Beca's cheeks. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have left, Becs… I should have demanded that we talked about it." She took the smaller girls hand and placed a soft kiss on it. "I love you so much, Beca… I just wish that you felt the same way…" She whispered. "I wanted to marry you… I can't believe that I was so sure that you were the one I was gonna be with forever…" Chloe sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I've never felt like that with anyone before." Chloe stopped talking as she heard the door open. She looked up to see Stacie and Aubrey coming inside.
"Hey Chlo." Aubrey said as she pulled her best friend into a hug. "How is she?" Aubrey looked down at Beca.
"She was awake an hour ago and she seemed like she was annoyed that Stacie found her." Chloe sighed. "Her dad and Sheila came and I had to yell at them to make them leave. They told her that I was just using her and that this was all my fault… They told her that she was better off with Jesse." Chloe let her tears fall down her cheeks. "They're right… Beca never tried to kill herself when she was with Jesse."
"Chloe, don't say that." Stacie stepped over to the girls. "Beca was so much happier with you than she was with Jesse. I don't know how many times I had to physically pull the razor out of her hands to stop her from doing something stupid." Stacie sighed. "I've never had to stop her when she was with you. She never called me at 2am to beg me to come and help her after you guys moved in together." She looked down at Beca.
"Yeah, well you should probably get ready to lose sleep again, because she broke up with me." Chloe wiped her tears away. "I'm moving in with Aubrey until I find an apartment." She sat down the chair next to the bed.
"No, you're not going anywhere." Aubrey looked down at Chloe. "You're gonna stay with Beca because she needs someone to take care of her after she gets home. No one knows her like you do, Chloe. I don't care if you talk to her about what she said, but you need to be there for her." Chloe nodded as Aubrey spoke.
Stacie had gone to bed at 10 pm and knew that she had classes the next day at 8. She didn't expect to be woken up at 2 am by her ringtone. Stacie sat up in her bed as she fumbled to reach her phone. "Yeah?" She yawned.
"I need you." The voice on the other end sobbed. "You have to help me."
"Beca?" Stacie asked as she rubbed her eyes.
"Yes…" She said quietly.
"What's wrong? Where are you?" Stacie asked as she started pulling her pants on.
"I c-cut myself. I'm in the shower." Beca said. Stacie could her her throwing up and crying.
"Beca. I'm gonna be there in ten minutes, okay? Don't go anywhere." Stacie ran out the door. She knew that she had to be fast. This wasn't the first time that Beca had called her in the middle of the night, crying. Last time it happened, Stacie had found Beca on the floor of her dorm with her thighs cut up. As soon as Stacie reached the bathroom, she ripped the door open and hurried over to Beca. She pulled the small girl close as she slowly began washing Beca's cuts until they stopped bleeding. Stacie held Beca close, singing softly until the small girl had stopped crying. She dried Beca's cuts to keep pressure on them before she helped Beca change her clothes and get her to bed. Stacie stayed the night right next to Beca.