This is an original fiction piece set in JRR Tolkienland – with characters
he owns. Any original characters are mine and the history is NOT to any
canon but mine. No slash, just romance. How graphic is still to be decided
– right now it's rated G. Story takes place many years before the ring war
and will end after the ring war, where it may or may not fit with canon – I
haven't decided yet. This is only the beginning – the end is far away.
Constructive reviews very appreciated. Serious work was put into NOT having
this be a Mary Sue.
A Rose in Winter
Chapter 2 – Painful Memories
Late in the afternoon, Legolas was sitting in a lounge reading one of Lord Elrond's many books of his people's history. It was a subject he never tired of. He heard a sound nearby and looked up to see Meidh walking past. He knew from her direction where she was headed – it was her habit at dusk and ordinarily he would have left her to her thoughts, but something about the look on her face caught his attention. He put the book down and followed her quietly. As expected, she found her way to the water's edge, sitting and putting her feet in the cool water. He saw her back and arms stiffen – her head bow. Contemplating what to do, he noticed the slight tremble in her body and realized she was crying. He quickly walked over to her, deliberately making noise so she would not be startled.
"Hello Legolas" she said softly. "I wondered if I would pass you unnoticed".
Legolas could hear the tears in her voice and it broke his heart. He had heard so much sadness from her this last year. He quietly sat down beside her on the large stone and looked over at her. Her eyes were turned forward, but he could see the mass of tears falling softly, wetting her gentle face. He reached out to place the softest of caresses down the back of her long hair. "I would have left you to yourself, but for the look I saw in your eyes. What can I do to help you, muin?"
Meidh looked up at him, her large hazel eyes filled with tears – and sadness. "I don't know. There is so much pain, so much regret. It feels as though I will drown from it all, but I know not how to let it go. I have tried. She choked back sobs as the memories invaded her mind.
Legolas knew enough about what happened to know the damage done, but even he did not know all the details. No one save Meidh did and she had not been ready to share them all yet, if she ever would be. He knew mostly about the bare facts of the destruction she had been forced to witness to her home and those she loved.
Her thoughts wandered back to that time and without even thinking began to pour her heart out to Legolas, speaking things which to this point had dwelt only in her own self.
It had been bad enough as a child to have lost her beloved father to battle, but at least Lord Elronds' promise to always consider her as one of his to her dying father had been a comfort. How she had loved Rivendell. While she loved her home and family, it was here that she felt she totally belonged. She could not imagine a more perfect place and it was here that she spent much time. How different things would have been if she had taken the Lords advice about his sense of foreboding and not returned home at that fateful time. She hadn't really wanted to leave here, but there were activities at home that requested her attendance and she was hesitant to push off too much of her responsibility.
She set off for home with her sentry guard to attend the wedding of her cousin and to visit with their relatives. It was to be a happy time. As she approached the ancestral home, she had a sense that all was not well, but could see nothing in evidence. They entered the gates and dismounted their steeds, heading into the great hall. Many were gathered, feasts being prepared. Standing in the door of the hall, she looked around for her Mother. Just as she found her, the look on her Mother's face struck her and she looked behind her.
Pouring into the gates were swarms of men, large and frightening in their battle armour. Fear pierced her heart and she screamed. Everywhere was chaos, people running and screaming, swords and arrows and knives. Where to hide, what to do, Mother!! Eru, what to do! Suddenly she felt her feet lift off the ground and she was foisted away, despite fighting desperately. She was not taken away so quickly, however, that she did not see her beloved home destroyed and her family slaughtered like sheep. The sight of her Mother being disemboweled sickened her and she retched as she was slung onto the horse and forced into the arms of the general of this horrid army. He sat there, forcing her to watch as all she loved was butchered and he laughed. She had never known such pain, such hatred in her life. She was no child, but she was young and inexperienced in the horrors of war. That day, she learned to hate.
After a time, the words stopped flowing and there was just tears.
How Legolas longed to pull her into himself, to offer whatever comfort his arms could provide. He had tried before, but she could not allow it. He sighed softly, still stroking her hair.
She turned and looked at him, a strange, confused look in her eyes, as though she were battling with herself over something. She broke the gaze and moved, stiffly at first like a long unused thing, closer to him. With a look that was mixed between fear and longing, she pulled herself slowly into the place where the arm around her head and his body met. Slowly, she snaked her arms around his waist and pulled herself closer, until her face was buried in the hollow next to his neck. She trembled slightly as he encircled her in his embrace, but she did not pull away. After a few moments of not moving, she pulled him closer and completely relaxed herself next to him.
He gently brushed the tears from her soft face and she began to weep anew, this time from the depths of her soul. She told Legolas between ragged sobs how the general had dispatched her back to his dwelling and made it clear to her that her time there would be at his pleasure and not her comfort. She had expected no less, but her fear was overwhelming.
She forced herself to hold her head high and not let him see her broken spirit. Drawing upon her elven nature, she willed herself to be strong and face whatever was to come. Much to her sorrow, her resolve only fueled his desires and he took her, repeatedly, day after day in whatever ugly and demeaning way suited him. Many nights she lay battered, bruised, broken in body and spirit. She was locked in that room with no sunlight and no escape. Her despair knew no bounds and no hope.
She had begun to contemplate how to end her own suffering when he returned yet again. She was so tired and in so much pain – but he would not be stilled. He was drunk and careless and did not lock the door behind him, but she didn't have a chance to even try to escape. He pushed her onto the filthy bed and sat on top of her, tying her hands and feet to it. This was one of his favorite pastimes, despite the fact that it left her battered and had broken more than one bone.
He was beating her and she was praying for death when she heard a noise that he apparently did not. Too drunk to notice, he was distracted when they burst through the door.
She stopped speaking for a moment; lost in the memory of the first time she saw his face.
She saw the general pulled away from her and then saw cool, blue eyes full of concern and felt a hand brush her cheek gently. A single tear fell at the caress. A gentle voice told her not to fear and proceeded to cut her ties.
Reacting like an animal in fear, she pulled her body together in the farthest corner of the bed, away from everyone. The pain in her face hurt him so, that was evident in his eyes.
He spoke to her gently, telling her that they were here to help her and removing his cloak, walked over and wrapped it around her. She tried to stand, but her legs gave way and Legolas swept her up in his arms and walked past the now dead general heaped in the floor, Aragorn wiping his blade from the deed. The concern on the other's face matched his and looking in their faces, she knew she was free. They carried her from the dank place and out into the night air. She gulped the fresh air like a starving baby. Legolas mounted his horse and Aragorn placed her in his arms. The army, now finished with their battle, gathered and headed home, home to Rivendell. So much pain.
Legolas sat there, cradling and rocking her gently, whispering comforting words into her ear and softly singing songs of healing and hope – allowing her to cleanse her soul. He had hoped for this for so long, and had suffered so much with her, that his own tears joined hers.
The stars were twinkling overhead by the time her sobs subsided and she was quiet, still wrapped in his embrace. After a few moments he recognized the steady breathing of slumber. She had cried herself into complete exhaustion.
He silently rejoiced, not just that she had found some release, but that she had allowed him to help her. Now, she lay against him, quietly sleeping, no tension left in her body. The idea of disturbing her bothered him, but he knew he needed to get her feet out of the quickly cooling water and allow her a comfortable rest. As gently as possible, he pulled her onto his lap and stood. She shifted but did not awaken. In fact, she snuggled deeper into his arms and breathed a contented sigh. Legolas smiled, for this comfort at his touch was much hoped for and pleasing.
He had come to care deeply for her, the depths of which even he was not sure. Walking back to the quiet dwelling, he looked down at the sleeping face, marveling at how well he knew each line and curve and how much joy it gave him to look upon it and not see sharp touches of pain. Eru, she was lovely when she slept in peace. He pulled his thoughts back to himself and carried her to her bed. Legolas bent over and lay her upon her pillow, slipping his arms out from underneath her in preparation to leave.
A gentle hand reached out for his and a sleepy voice whispered, "Do not go" "Please".
"You need rest, muin, it has been a tiring day for you", he replied.
Her soft eyes focused and she looked into the depths of his deep blue eyes. "Loan me the comfort of your embrace for a while longer" she pleaded quietly. "I need that as much as rest".
He could deny her not, smiled sweetly at her and nodded. Legolas lay down beside her and drew the bedclothes up around them, pulled her into his arms and she snuggled once more into that valley, resting her face against his neck and her arm around his waist. She lifted her face to look into his eyes and smiled, whispering "thank you" and planting a tiny kiss on his cheek, drifted back off to sleep.
Although he had spent nearly every waking moment with her for the past year, Legolas could not remember ever feeling the way he was right now. Lying here with her in his arms, while strange in one way, could not have felt more perfect to him. He wondered to himself, when did I fall in love with her? I don't even remember it happening, but there's no denying the way I'm feeling. The touch of her skin, the smell of her hair, the beauty of her smile sent his senses reeling. He looked down at her face as she shifted in her slumber and thought his heart would break from the burst of feelings he was experiencing.
Perhaps, he thought to himself, she wasn't the only one who had been locking away feelings from present gaze. He sighed softly, coming to the full realization of what he must now face. He loved her, in a way that would make him want to bind himself to her for eternity. It was true that he was her companion and that she had sought him out to finally allow her release from pain, but would that be enough? Would she truly ever be able to love him as one does a mate after all she'd been through? If she didn't, how would he deal with the resultant pain? Questions raced through his mind at a rapid rate, until finally the exhaustion of the whole experience caught up with him and he fell into restless sleep.
It was late into the morning when Legolas' eyes finally opened. It was another lovely spring day and he could see birds and butterflies on the terrace. As the memories of all that transpired the previous night came flooding back, the woman in his arms began to stir. He looked down at her and his heart filled to bursting. What he would give if she could love him in the way he was now certain he loved her. He sighed softly and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
Her eyes slowly came focused and she spoke softly. "You sigh as one with a great burden, dear one. Did my behavior last night bring pain upon you?"
Legolas looked deep into her eyes and smiled lovingly at her. "No, muin, you did not bring me pain. I have joy that you were able to release your pain, though I did share in its release in my heart. My burdens are not yours." He gently brushed the hair away from the side of her brow and cupped her face in his hand. "How did you sleep?" he asked softly.
She smiled at him and said, "because of you, better than since before"...and her voice trailed off. Her eyes clouded again, though not as much as he was accustomed to. She was recovering, however slowly and it made his heart glad.
He pulled her close and whispered soothing words into her ear. Unlike all the previous days, there was no hesitation, no fear. She allowed him to pull her close and she responded in kind. His heart sang as he held her, but would he ever be able to tell her of the song?
A Rose in Winter
Chapter 2 – Painful Memories
Late in the afternoon, Legolas was sitting in a lounge reading one of Lord Elrond's many books of his people's history. It was a subject he never tired of. He heard a sound nearby and looked up to see Meidh walking past. He knew from her direction where she was headed – it was her habit at dusk and ordinarily he would have left her to her thoughts, but something about the look on her face caught his attention. He put the book down and followed her quietly. As expected, she found her way to the water's edge, sitting and putting her feet in the cool water. He saw her back and arms stiffen – her head bow. Contemplating what to do, he noticed the slight tremble in her body and realized she was crying. He quickly walked over to her, deliberately making noise so she would not be startled.
"Hello Legolas" she said softly. "I wondered if I would pass you unnoticed".
Legolas could hear the tears in her voice and it broke his heart. He had heard so much sadness from her this last year. He quietly sat down beside her on the large stone and looked over at her. Her eyes were turned forward, but he could see the mass of tears falling softly, wetting her gentle face. He reached out to place the softest of caresses down the back of her long hair. "I would have left you to yourself, but for the look I saw in your eyes. What can I do to help you, muin?"
Meidh looked up at him, her large hazel eyes filled with tears – and sadness. "I don't know. There is so much pain, so much regret. It feels as though I will drown from it all, but I know not how to let it go. I have tried. She choked back sobs as the memories invaded her mind.
Legolas knew enough about what happened to know the damage done, but even he did not know all the details. No one save Meidh did and she had not been ready to share them all yet, if she ever would be. He knew mostly about the bare facts of the destruction she had been forced to witness to her home and those she loved.
Her thoughts wandered back to that time and without even thinking began to pour her heart out to Legolas, speaking things which to this point had dwelt only in her own self.
It had been bad enough as a child to have lost her beloved father to battle, but at least Lord Elronds' promise to always consider her as one of his to her dying father had been a comfort. How she had loved Rivendell. While she loved her home and family, it was here that she felt she totally belonged. She could not imagine a more perfect place and it was here that she spent much time. How different things would have been if she had taken the Lords advice about his sense of foreboding and not returned home at that fateful time. She hadn't really wanted to leave here, but there were activities at home that requested her attendance and she was hesitant to push off too much of her responsibility.
She set off for home with her sentry guard to attend the wedding of her cousin and to visit with their relatives. It was to be a happy time. As she approached the ancestral home, she had a sense that all was not well, but could see nothing in evidence. They entered the gates and dismounted their steeds, heading into the great hall. Many were gathered, feasts being prepared. Standing in the door of the hall, she looked around for her Mother. Just as she found her, the look on her Mother's face struck her and she looked behind her.
Pouring into the gates were swarms of men, large and frightening in their battle armour. Fear pierced her heart and she screamed. Everywhere was chaos, people running and screaming, swords and arrows and knives. Where to hide, what to do, Mother!! Eru, what to do! Suddenly she felt her feet lift off the ground and she was foisted away, despite fighting desperately. She was not taken away so quickly, however, that she did not see her beloved home destroyed and her family slaughtered like sheep. The sight of her Mother being disemboweled sickened her and she retched as she was slung onto the horse and forced into the arms of the general of this horrid army. He sat there, forcing her to watch as all she loved was butchered and he laughed. She had never known such pain, such hatred in her life. She was no child, but she was young and inexperienced in the horrors of war. That day, she learned to hate.
After a time, the words stopped flowing and there was just tears.
How Legolas longed to pull her into himself, to offer whatever comfort his arms could provide. He had tried before, but she could not allow it. He sighed softly, still stroking her hair.
She turned and looked at him, a strange, confused look in her eyes, as though she were battling with herself over something. She broke the gaze and moved, stiffly at first like a long unused thing, closer to him. With a look that was mixed between fear and longing, she pulled herself slowly into the place where the arm around her head and his body met. Slowly, she snaked her arms around his waist and pulled herself closer, until her face was buried in the hollow next to his neck. She trembled slightly as he encircled her in his embrace, but she did not pull away. After a few moments of not moving, she pulled him closer and completely relaxed herself next to him.
He gently brushed the tears from her soft face and she began to weep anew, this time from the depths of her soul. She told Legolas between ragged sobs how the general had dispatched her back to his dwelling and made it clear to her that her time there would be at his pleasure and not her comfort. She had expected no less, but her fear was overwhelming.
She forced herself to hold her head high and not let him see her broken spirit. Drawing upon her elven nature, she willed herself to be strong and face whatever was to come. Much to her sorrow, her resolve only fueled his desires and he took her, repeatedly, day after day in whatever ugly and demeaning way suited him. Many nights she lay battered, bruised, broken in body and spirit. She was locked in that room with no sunlight and no escape. Her despair knew no bounds and no hope.
She had begun to contemplate how to end her own suffering when he returned yet again. She was so tired and in so much pain – but he would not be stilled. He was drunk and careless and did not lock the door behind him, but she didn't have a chance to even try to escape. He pushed her onto the filthy bed and sat on top of her, tying her hands and feet to it. This was one of his favorite pastimes, despite the fact that it left her battered and had broken more than one bone.
He was beating her and she was praying for death when she heard a noise that he apparently did not. Too drunk to notice, he was distracted when they burst through the door.
She stopped speaking for a moment; lost in the memory of the first time she saw his face.
She saw the general pulled away from her and then saw cool, blue eyes full of concern and felt a hand brush her cheek gently. A single tear fell at the caress. A gentle voice told her not to fear and proceeded to cut her ties.
Reacting like an animal in fear, she pulled her body together in the farthest corner of the bed, away from everyone. The pain in her face hurt him so, that was evident in his eyes.
He spoke to her gently, telling her that they were here to help her and removing his cloak, walked over and wrapped it around her. She tried to stand, but her legs gave way and Legolas swept her up in his arms and walked past the now dead general heaped in the floor, Aragorn wiping his blade from the deed. The concern on the other's face matched his and looking in their faces, she knew she was free. They carried her from the dank place and out into the night air. She gulped the fresh air like a starving baby. Legolas mounted his horse and Aragorn placed her in his arms. The army, now finished with their battle, gathered and headed home, home to Rivendell. So much pain.
Legolas sat there, cradling and rocking her gently, whispering comforting words into her ear and softly singing songs of healing and hope – allowing her to cleanse her soul. He had hoped for this for so long, and had suffered so much with her, that his own tears joined hers.
The stars were twinkling overhead by the time her sobs subsided and she was quiet, still wrapped in his embrace. After a few moments he recognized the steady breathing of slumber. She had cried herself into complete exhaustion.
He silently rejoiced, not just that she had found some release, but that she had allowed him to help her. Now, she lay against him, quietly sleeping, no tension left in her body. The idea of disturbing her bothered him, but he knew he needed to get her feet out of the quickly cooling water and allow her a comfortable rest. As gently as possible, he pulled her onto his lap and stood. She shifted but did not awaken. In fact, she snuggled deeper into his arms and breathed a contented sigh. Legolas smiled, for this comfort at his touch was much hoped for and pleasing.
He had come to care deeply for her, the depths of which even he was not sure. Walking back to the quiet dwelling, he looked down at the sleeping face, marveling at how well he knew each line and curve and how much joy it gave him to look upon it and not see sharp touches of pain. Eru, she was lovely when she slept in peace. He pulled his thoughts back to himself and carried her to her bed. Legolas bent over and lay her upon her pillow, slipping his arms out from underneath her in preparation to leave.
A gentle hand reached out for his and a sleepy voice whispered, "Do not go" "Please".
"You need rest, muin, it has been a tiring day for you", he replied.
Her soft eyes focused and she looked into the depths of his deep blue eyes. "Loan me the comfort of your embrace for a while longer" she pleaded quietly. "I need that as much as rest".
He could deny her not, smiled sweetly at her and nodded. Legolas lay down beside her and drew the bedclothes up around them, pulled her into his arms and she snuggled once more into that valley, resting her face against his neck and her arm around his waist. She lifted her face to look into his eyes and smiled, whispering "thank you" and planting a tiny kiss on his cheek, drifted back off to sleep.
Although he had spent nearly every waking moment with her for the past year, Legolas could not remember ever feeling the way he was right now. Lying here with her in his arms, while strange in one way, could not have felt more perfect to him. He wondered to himself, when did I fall in love with her? I don't even remember it happening, but there's no denying the way I'm feeling. The touch of her skin, the smell of her hair, the beauty of her smile sent his senses reeling. He looked down at her face as she shifted in her slumber and thought his heart would break from the burst of feelings he was experiencing.
Perhaps, he thought to himself, she wasn't the only one who had been locking away feelings from present gaze. He sighed softly, coming to the full realization of what he must now face. He loved her, in a way that would make him want to bind himself to her for eternity. It was true that he was her companion and that she had sought him out to finally allow her release from pain, but would that be enough? Would she truly ever be able to love him as one does a mate after all she'd been through? If she didn't, how would he deal with the resultant pain? Questions raced through his mind at a rapid rate, until finally the exhaustion of the whole experience caught up with him and he fell into restless sleep.
It was late into the morning when Legolas' eyes finally opened. It was another lovely spring day and he could see birds and butterflies on the terrace. As the memories of all that transpired the previous night came flooding back, the woman in his arms began to stir. He looked down at her and his heart filled to bursting. What he would give if she could love him in the way he was now certain he loved her. He sighed softly and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
Her eyes slowly came focused and she spoke softly. "You sigh as one with a great burden, dear one. Did my behavior last night bring pain upon you?"
Legolas looked deep into her eyes and smiled lovingly at her. "No, muin, you did not bring me pain. I have joy that you were able to release your pain, though I did share in its release in my heart. My burdens are not yours." He gently brushed the hair away from the side of her brow and cupped her face in his hand. "How did you sleep?" he asked softly.
She smiled at him and said, "because of you, better than since before"...and her voice trailed off. Her eyes clouded again, though not as much as he was accustomed to. She was recovering, however slowly and it made his heart glad.
He pulled her close and whispered soothing words into her ear. Unlike all the previous days, there was no hesitation, no fear. She allowed him to pull her close and she responded in kind. His heart sang as he held her, but would he ever be able to tell her of the song?