Title: The efforts to show one's worth
Series: The result of all changes, part 2/3
Characters: Colby.
Rating: T (I think, but if I should rate it M, just tell me and I will)
Spoilers: All seasons.
Summary: Insight to Colby's reasons to do what he did during season 4. Now we get to see how things started to get better for Colby after "The Janus List" and "Trust Metric".

Feedback: Yes, I love it! Please, READ & REVIEW.

Disclaimer: I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it.
Beta:Thanks to my lovely beta.

A/N: This was written for the savecolby community at Livejournal, because of the 1 Year Later – Anniversary Challenge.

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THE RESULT OF ALL CHANGES

Part 2 – The efforts to show one's worth

It had been so hard for Colby to get up every single morning and tell himself that he had to keep going… that there was a chance for him to get something similar to a satisfactory life.

He used to spend his mornings seated at the table staring at his coffee. It looked black and not promising at all, just the same way he imagined his day would be.

Then there was the process of getting dressed and hiding his fears and regrets behind a poker face. He practiced it in front of the mirror before leaving his apartment. It allowed him to breathe when he was surrounded by gossip and heavy looks that pointed out how much he had let everyone down.

Colby hated the way that Don and the rest of the team treated him, but he couldn't blame them. They didn't trust him, and they had their reasons. He couldn't stop feeling he still had so much to prove.

How could those fragile bonds be restored? Colby had no answer for that… except to simply give it time. Only an indefinite number of hours had the chance to change his situation for good, if he actually deserved it.

The memory of having found his desk empty the first day he had returned to the FBI often overwhelmed him, made him feel that people had cut him out of their lives. Their eyes would always be focused on Colby's actions, trying to figure out what his true intentions were, no matter what he did.

But what hurt the most was the distance that separating him from David. It had been so difficult for Colby to trust someone again, and his friend wasn't thrilled to be his partner anymore, even if Colby was considered a hero as well as a very good actor.

The fact that Don had tried to take David's place in a long stakeout had been a very awkward move. It was the sign that everybody was aware of David's turning away from Colby, and, even worse, their boss was trying to be the one to fix their relationship because he felt pity for Colby.

That night, with Don seated by his side on the car, waiting for a suspect to appear, Colby had seriously considered taking the other job the FBI had offered him because of the success of his mission. And even if Don tried to be supportive, if Colby didn't have his friends' total trust, remaining a team member didn't seem to be the best choice.

And yet, something told him that he had to try. He had asked Don to check with the others is his presence at the office was OK. If they said that it wasn't, then nothing would change for Colby, who had very little hope at the moment. But if he was welcome, at least for some time, as a test period, he would try. He would try as much as he could.

Before he got his answer, someone had left the fishing lure his father had made for him on his desk. The meaningful gift had been lost, and a kind soul had got it back to L.A all the way from Quantico. That was the beginning of the light at the end of the tunnel. That was all he needed to get the courage to start over.

Since then, it had seemed that David was willing to give him a second chance. Not only were they working as partners, slowly becoming tight friends again, but their relationship was becoming stronger for all that had passed between them. And the look in everybody's eyes when Colby arrived on scene was slowly beginning to change.

He had to take advantage of the few positive vibes people kept sending him. The only way he could prove how much he was committed to his team was to devote himself to his work, giving it every last bit of energy he had.

Jumping from roof to roof with no safety device. Putting himself at great risk of getting really hurt, not once but several times. Letting his body fall from a second floor onto the top of a moving vehicle, even knowing that he would likely be thrown onto the road.

He gave his all in the field, and he got a positive response from his team. He would always remember Don's words. "Welcome back, brother. 302s on my desk by eight, right?" There wasnothing better than the warm faces of the people he cared the most about letting him know that they were actually trying to make him feel appreciated. Especially David's slightly happy smile... it had almost brought tears to Colby's eyes.

But he knew his efforts shouldn't stop there. He needed to keep doing his best, he had to show everyone that he was still a valuable asset, as well as a good person. So he continued to put himself in danger, case after case, not caring if he got hurt or died. And while he did it over and over again, he found out that there was someone else that really believed in him.

Sometimes Don and David talked about how much Charlie had trust Colby during the Janus List case. When the team had asked the mathematician what result his trust metric analysis had given, he had simply responded, "Nothing that we don't know already in our hearts." Again, Colby hadn't realized that he had made another friend. But the good news was that he was aware of that now.

Colby and Charlie had shared their fears and expectations in regard to their jobs during the Bonnie Parks case. Even if Colby had encourage Charlie to talk about what he had been thinking about when he was in the car chase, it had been the mathematician the one to show Colby that he trusted him enough to confess it all to him. And with that, Charlie had definitely helped Colby to find his equilibrium again.

So he had recovered one friend, and gained another in the process. He hadn't forgotten Dwayne, but the new bonds he was creating were a very good incentive to try to leave the pain behind.

A pain that was still in his heart, but that could start to heal if he kept going. The words were constantly on loop in his head, a mantra for when he couldn't summon the strength for even one more step. Keep going, Colby Granger. Keep going. Fate is tricky, but it seems it's started to consider you still worth saving.

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A/N: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW, 'CAUSE FEEDBACK IS LOVE. I'll try to respond all your comments because I really appreciate that you take the time to submit them.