Disclaimer: I do not own Ed or Al or anyone else. Owning people is wrong. It's practically slavery. I do however, own a computer. And it is my slave. (Though is doesn't often listen very well)

A/N: Short first chapter! Right? Yes. This one's longer. You're welcome. I'm welcome. I also have made Edward go a little crazy. But only a little. Not too much. :) Just enough.

The Plan...

…was simple enough.

35 liters of water. 20 kilograms of carbon. Four liters of ammonia. One-and-a-half kilograms of lime. 800 grams of phosphorous. 250 grams of salt. 100 grams of niter. 80 grams of sulfur. Seven-and-a-half grams of silicon. 100 grams of saltpeter. 15 other trace elements.

"You're not my body, I can't come with you."

Three steps. Analysis. Destruction. Reconstruction. To understand the structure and properties of the element that is about to be transmuted. To break the substance down to its rudimentary properties. To rebuild the substance in another form, or with different properties. Observation. Decomposition. Re-composition.

To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.

The circle represents the constant flow of energy. Catalysts for alchemical reactions. All the energy of the Earth, the dead, the living, flowing around in an endless circle. Body, spirit, mind. A connection.

Really, the concept was easy enough to grasp. The hardest part was getting Alphonse in the circle.

I drew each line in my own blood. My hand was steady and balanced. If everything wasn't absolutely perfect this might not work. Failure was not an option. Not at this point. I felt faint and stumbled whenever I stood up too fast or turned a little too sharply. I was pale and drawn. Gaunt cheeks. Long sleeves. Sneak away. Blood red paint.

Only once did I pass out before I made it back to the dorm.

Found the next morning. Bloody arms. There was a cigarette in the man's mouth. He was familiar.

"Chief? What the fuck did you do?"

Havoc.

My hands grasped aimlessly. Finding the lapels of Havoc's standard-issue royal blue greatcoat. He flinched away. There was blood on my hands. I was dizzy, half-gone. Havoc's mouth was wide with some expression I couldn't read because I was too tired, too weak. My brain had no time for this, the formula was there. I was whispering the element aloud. Tell the world. I'll do it. Tell the world. I'll finally win. Screw the world. I'm going to do it. Failure was not an option. Each line was perfect and beautiful, fragile. My breath rattled and my heart shook but my hand stayed steady.

Water. Carbon. Ammonia. Lime. Phosphorous. Salt. Niter. Sulfur. Fluorine. Iron. Silicon. Saltpeter. H2O. C. NH3. CaO. P. NaCl. KNO3. S. F. Fe. Si. KNQ3.

"Chief?" Havoc whimpers at me. It's uncharacteristic of him and I wonder why. But I don't have time to think about trivial things like that.

Salt Peter. Potassium Nitrate. Sal petrae. Density: 2.109 g/cm cubed. Melting point: 334 degrees Celsius. Boiling point: 400 degrees Celsius. Soluble in ethanol. Soluble in glycerol. Soluble in ammonia. Odorless. White solid.

"You're scaring me," Havoc says. He doesn't sound so weird and out of character this time. He says the words matter-of-fact and curt. There's some underlying emotion but I can't bring myself to care enough to analyze it. It's good that he's not being quite as confusing this time. I don't have time to be wondering "why"'s and "for what reason"'s.

Ammonia. Hydrogen nitride. Strong pungent odor. Colorless gas. Melting point: -77.73 degrees Celsius. Boiling point: -33.34 degrees Celsius. Acidity: 38, H2O; 41, DMSO. Basicity: 4.75.

"Ed. Edward. Stop it!"

My lips froze with the next word that balanced, waiting impatiently on the edge of my poised tongue. I moved my gaze up toward Havoc's own and I found fear. What was he afraid? Suddenly I realized that he would tell Alphonse that he had found me here. He would ruin it all. My hands clenched harder against his collar. Pulling him closer, whispering in his ear.

I swear that if you breathe a word of this to Alphonse, I hiss, you'll regret it.

I wasn't sure what I would do, but apparently the threat had been convincing enough. Maybe it was my icy tone, hard as steel. Maybe it was the blood on my hands. Arms. I was wasting time.

I turned on my heels, leaving Havoc in my wake. I have no room in my mind to regret threatening the man. I doubt that I would have regretted it anyway. It was not an empty threat. I had meant it.

Clean up. Get home. Long sleeves. Clean hands. Smile for Alphonse.

"Brother, where were you last night?" Al never sleeps. Al can't sleep.

Out, I answer, and then laugh. Fake like plastic. Lies. Kidding, I assure him. Excuse. I was at the library and I fell asleep and no one even bothered to wake me up! I sounded startled, maybe a little angry, and I flashed another grin.

"Alright," Al said, the worry gone from his voice.

I'd like to thank everyone who's helped me so far. My acting career would never have prospered without you. Oh, goodness, this is too much. An award? I'm flattered! Honored! Love you guys.

I smile at my acceptance speech I recite in my head, quite a bit of sarcasm included. A little bit of dry humor to brighten up my day. I can't settle down. I can't calm down. Not until I do this.

"What do you want to do today?" Al asked, cheerily, "And did you find what you were looking for at the library?"

I wasn't looking for anything in particular, I reply, waving my gloved hand through the air. There are hastily applied bandages all around my left hand, you can see the fabric of my glove bulging out. Al doesn't notice. I know what we should do today! I exclaim, feigning excitement. I honestly am excited though. Millions of calculations moving through my mind. My pulse quickens and I feel myself biting my lip in anticipation. I stop when I taste blood on my tongue and such my bottom lip into my mouth to stop Al from noticing. I had to calm down.

But I couldn't. Not until I do this.

Pulse quickens. Heart pumping. Steel face. Flesh hand. Screw the world. I'll do it. I'll show everyone.

That's what dog fighting was all about. Despair. Rage. Fury. Hate. Desperation. When you got down to it.

You can only kick an animal down so many times before it gets angry and kills something.

Death. Life.

It's a surprise. I'm taking you somewhere special, I smile and tell him. I look around the room for a moment before pulling the sheet off of my bed. White. Dark. Black. Light. Blindfold? I ask, sounding playful, light, optimistic. Al chuckles and agrees, because it seems like a game and this is the happiest he's seen me in a few days.

Getting Al in the circle was the hard part. But really, not too hard.

Dark room. Scent of blood. Al can't feel. Al can't smell. "Where are we?"

Just play along, I'm surprised when my tone sounds curt and straight forward.

Al sounds uneasy, "Can I take the blindfold off yet?"

No, I say, not yet. I must not sound convincing. Al's body language is screaming that he's scared now and he pulls off the sheet.

A huge circle. Bloody red lines. A suit of armor in the center. A brother at the edge. Alphonse froze, petrified, looking around himself fearfully.

"Brother? What?"

Too long, it's been too long, I have to fix you.

"How? What are you? Is this blood?"

I figured it out, I say, a hint of mania betrayed in my voice. But Screw the world, I'll do it. I figured it out, I say again, and I press my hands to the circle.

The plan was simple enough.