Hello to any random readers!

Here is the second chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. As usual, point out any errors; tell me if it's awful, critique, critique, critique!

I also have something IMPORTANT to say to anyone who is following this story. I know most people skim over the Authors Notes, but I'd appreciate if you read this much. I' am completely dedicated to this Fanfiction. Therefore, I will not start any other stories until its completion, despite the temptation. However, I will post stories I have already completed, but never posted. These stories have been written prior to Walk of Shame and Shameless, and are no longer in process. So, if anyone sees that I've posted other stories, please be aware that I'm not starting any new projects. Don't worry. This story takes priority. I'm not starting a magnitude of stories when I should be focusing on this one.

I hope this isn't so terrible your eyes bleed and you go into a coma from banging your head on a desk.

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!

Chapter 2

Izaya woke up when he was set down outside Shizuo's apartment. He swayed hazardously, and gripped Shizuo's vest for balance. "Shizu-chan..." He mumbled drowsily. "What are you doing?"

"I've got to go to work, and I don't trust you inside my apartment."

Izaya gave a high pitched whine. "But Shizu-chan..."

"You're so childish when you wake up." Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Let go. Don't you have some work to do?"

Izaya's eyes flew open and his head snapped towards the closest window. The sun was just peeking through the clouds, but he could easily tell the time was close to six in the morning. "You're right." Izaya looked down, and wasn't surprised to see that Shizuo had redressed him in some thankfully not tarnished clothing. His Eskimo jacket was perfectly intact, although his black shirt had a few rips. Usually he was a light sleeper, and would awake at the slightest stir. However, he always felt so snug and comfortable next to Shizuo, and tended to sleep more deeply when with him, hence why he hadn't woken up whilst being dressed. "I've got a meeting today that I can't be late for."

"Who is it with?"

Izaya tapped Shizuo's nose. "Now I can't go and just tell you that...client confidentiality and all."

Shizuo gripped Izaya's finger hard, and it gave a crack. "I can keep a secret."

"Well aren't we nosy?" Izaya asked rhetorically. "Listen," He took on a businesslike demeanour. "I really can't tell you." Shizuo opened his mouth to object, but Izaya kissed it, swishing his tongue around. "Try not to think about me too much today~" Izaya sang, stepping back and straightening his jacket. "Call me, maybe?" Shizuo's fist shot out with the intention of meeting Izaya's face. Of course, Izaya ducked.

"Don't say 'Call me maybe' ever again," Shizuo spat irritably. "I hate that song. When it was popular, every time I entered a shopping center, or a restaurant, that damn pop melody was playing."

"I liked it," Izaya admitted, with a little embarrassment. "It was catchy."

"Really?" Shizuo said, before snickering heartily.

Izaya pouted. "What's so funny?"

"I just never thought you'd be one for bubblegum pop." Shizuo seemed unable to compose himself, and was bent over at the knees. "Now, I can definitely imagine you dancing to that song, an irritating anthem for an irritating flea."

"That song is not my anthem." Izaya said huffily. "And it's a guilty pleasure."

"So you even have it on your iPod?" Shizuo's chuckles sounded more like grumbles, and the sound made Izaya's stomach pool with warmth. "God flea, you can be such a girl."

"Well," Izaya tried to remain dignified. "You can be certain that I won't be calling you. No maybe about it."

Shizuo continued to laugh as Izaya stomped away, feeling awake and annoyed. This relationship thing really wasn't working for him. It was hard for him to be on equal ground with someone, especially someone like Shizuo, who lately gave as good as he got.

The more time Shizuo spent with Izaya, the more ammunition he had over the flea and the more he could make Izaya behave, well, human.

He never tired of observing Izaya, especially when he was displaying an emotion aside from superiority.

When Izaya stepped outside, he paused and closed his eyes, regulating his breathing.

Today is another fun-filled day. Why is it fun? Because I get to interact with my lovely little humans. I won't allow that beast to ruin my day. I simply won't!

Izaya skipped into the fray merrily.

"What do you mean my services are no longer needed?" Izaya tried not to show the surprise he was feeling. "I've been a loyal Informant for you for months."

The greying man looked at him blandly, a smouldering cigarette in his mouth. "It means exactly what I said, Orihara." He puffed some of the toxic smoke into the air.

Izaya wrinkled his nose. As if the dingy little consultation room he was in didn't smell rank enough... "Forgive me for my impertinence, but I insist I know your reasoning. It's not often I'm acquitted." Izaya said soberly.

The plump man shifted on the dirty leather lounge he had been lounging upon. "The company you're keeping these days is worrisome." He said.

"What?" Izaya blanched. He had been expecting the man to give some excuse about suspecting Izaya of double crossing him. He didn't even begin to think the information he was providing was dodgy. That was just impossible.

The man sighed, as if he was dealing with an errant child. "Do I really need to spell it out to you, Orihara? Shizuo Heiwajima. He's a debt collector and a lot of my men owe money to Tom Tanaka's agency. I can't run the risk of you betraying their location to him."

"I would never –"

"We can't trust you." Another man, this time a henchman interjected. He was standing behind his boss, arms crossed across a sturdy chest. "Everyone knows you're with Shizuo Heiwajima."

"Since when has personal affairs ever meddled with my work ethic? Shizu-chan has nothing to do with this! I'd never reveal any information to him, even if he tried to force it out."

"Please," Another man said sceptically. It was the same man who had witnessed Shizuo's play with Izaya yesterday, and he had his face twisted in an ugly sneer. "Your precious 'Shizu-chan' has you on a leash."

"He does not!" Izaya's outburst was loud, and only reinforced their opinion that the blonde was affecting Izaya too much for them to be comfortable with.

"This is our final word Orihara." The heavyset man told him, chin wobbling as he spoke. "You can leave now."

Izaya was a little in shock, and it took him a minute to stand up after the instruction. "Very well," Izaya said. He wasn't going to make himself look foolish by protesting any further. There was no use reasoning with these idiots.

And that was exactly what they were, idiots for firing the great Izaya Orihara.

Fired. The word made him want to puke. "I'll still require my payment." Izaya cleared his throat. "For the information I provided earlier."

"Forget it." The man said, and he joined his bodyguards in laughing this time. "You ain't getting any money from me. Unless..." He patted the fat wallet that was sitting in his breast pocket. "You want to come and get it." The suggestion sounded lecherous to Izaya, and not willing to be mocked, he lunged before the bodyguards had the chance to blink.

Izaya held the knife underneath the man's chin, and pressed it to the jugular gently. The man whimpered. He smelt heavily of perspiration and cheat deodorant, so Izaya didn't lean close. "Now..." Izaya purred gently. "Why don't you kindly hand me the price we agreed on and I'll be on my way."

The man was the cowardly sort, and did not bother arguing. With a shaking hand, he pulled out the wallet and leafed through it, pulling out a wad of cash and handing it to Izaya's own expectant hand.

Izaya flipped through the money, making certain he had been given the correct estimate. "Thank you. Now," He held a hand up as he stepped back. The five guards in the room had taken up fighting stances. "There's no need for fighting." Izaya inched out of the room carefully, but just when he turned his back, there was the expected command:

"Get him!"

Izaya flipped backwards in a fantastic show of agility when the first lackey tried to jump him. Once behind, he quickly stepped to the side, causing the next man to barrel into the first. They both landed on the floor in a heap of flying fists and limbs. Izaya wasn't a true combatant. He wasn't built like a gorilla or a bodybuilder, and he didn't have the advantage of enhanced strength like Shizuo did. He was a runner, more of a long distance fighter, and without a knife, he wasn't able to cause significant damage to giant, overly muscled men like these.

However he did have a knife, and sufficient experience with fighting. These men were muscle, and only ever got their hands dirty when they absolutely had to. Izaya could easily defeat them.

And he did.

One minute later every one of the bodyguards were lying on the disgusting ground groaning in pain, and the boss looked as if he was going to piss himself. Izaya smirked scarily, and trod over the figures, not bothering to avoid treading on their splayed body parts. He stamped particularly hard on the fingers of that asshole who had said Shizuo had him on a leash.

When he exited the room, the two bodyguards stationed in the doorway looked at him suspiciously, but allowed him to leave nevertheless, smart choice.

When Izaya exited the slummy building, he kicked the closest overfilling trashcan with all of his might in an outlet of anger. How dare those imbeciles fire him! This was unbelievable!

Calm down...

Izaya cautioned inwardly.

Getting worked up won't solve anything. And the last thing I need is to be seen having a public breakdown.

Izaya pulled back his leg and put his aching foot back on the ground. He pulled out one of his cellphones and flipped it open to check if he had any new messages. He'd had it on silent during the meeting, as a courtesy.

He usually didn't do so, as he was always expected to pick up his phone. However this group (though pathetic in comparison to the Yakuza) had the potential to be very dangerous, and contributed to his livelihood. With his information and instruction, they could have risen to their full potential. That wasn't going to happen now. Izaya would make sure of it. He would crush those wastes of DNA into the dirt and make sure they never rose out of it.

Izaya didn't often opt for revenge against anyone other than Shizuo, but these men had seriously compromised his reputation as well as made him seem weak. If it got out that he'd been fired, rumours would fly that he wasn't competent, and he just couldn't let that happen.

His phone buzzed, and Izaya accepted the call readily. "Ah, Mr. Shiki...just the man I wanted to speak to. What great timing..."

Izaya munched grumpily on his third plate of ootoro, downing the fatty tuna like it was water. He swallowed a large mouthful, and craned his neck around to see Simon. "Simon," He beckoned. The man had been chatting with a timid looking customer. "Come here." Simon bowed to the man he had been harassing and lumbered over. "More ootoro, please." Izaya said primly.

Simon took the empty plate that was shoved in his direction. He looked at Izaya worriedly. "You eat lots of ootoro today, but you still hungry?"

"Starving." Izaya replied shortly.

"You get sick." Simon shook his head. "Or fat."

Izaya glared at Simon for the unwanted and unneeded comments. "As long as I'm contributing to your business why should it matter?"

Simon sighed patiently. "You wear face of unhappiness, even after your tummy full. You only ever eat this much when you are sad."

Izaya knew that was true. He did tend to therapy eat when he was really angry or upset about something, although he never gained any bulk. He usually gorged on ootoro if he felt like therapy eating, so Simon was attuned to his moods. "I'm fine." Izaya said. "I just had a bad day." Izaya added. He knew Simon would never leave if he didn't open up a little.

Simon seemed appeased by his answer, and left to fetch him some more of his beloved ootoro.

When it arrived, Izaya began chewing on it despite the heaviness in his gut and the nausea he was feeling. The portions that were served at Russia Sushi were generous, so he was extremely full. However focusing on his fullness was better than focusing on what had transpired earlier, it was a coping mechanism, and it was safer than an alternative he had used to practice.

It's good I'm sitting privately. I wouldn't want anyone else to witness my disgusting display of gluttony.

By the time Izaya slumped over the table with a terrible sensation of sickness, he had eaten six plates of ootoro. The fatty tuna sat heavily in his stomach, and he was turning green with the effort to not puke.

Why did I eat so much...must, not, puke...

He was like a stereotypical teenage girl who binged on ice-cream when they suffered a bad breakup.

Except he hadn't had a bad breakup, he had merely had a disagreement with Mr. Shiki, and was feeling very betrayed.

"Izaya," Simon shook his shoulder. "We closing now. You need taxi?"

"I need a bucket." Izaya said.

Simon shook his head, forehead crinkled in worry. "You eat like starving man. But do not waste food. It bad."

"I'm sure the starving orphans won't be that picky." Izaya managed to get out between his sickly groans. "It'd be just like a mother penguin when she regurgitates..."

"Bad joke." Simon said. "I call you taxi. It take you back to Shinjuku. It outside waiting."

As much as Simon disliked Izaya sometimes, he still cared about the other mans wellbeing. It was the sort of person he was. He had a rough upbringing, and that made it hard for him to hold a grudge for a long period of time.

"Thanks." Izaya stood up. He clutched his rolling stomach. Even after eating so much, it was still flat. He walked out of his sitting area. Russia Sushi was nearing closing time and not even Kadota and his gang were loitering around. It was usually filled with chatter, but it was eerily silent now.

Simon escorted Izaya outside and waved friendlily when the taxi drove away. Izaya didn't make any effort to maintain conversation with the driver. When he arrived at his apartment complex, he almost forgot to pay the man his money. He was absentminded.

His apartment was empty when he slumped inside, but still smelt of a freshly cooked meal Namie had no doubt concocted. Usually, it would have been appealing.

The files that had fallen yesterday had been restacked perfectly, and Namie had even gone through the trouble of straightening up Izaya's uncharacteristically messy desk.

Izaya didn't bother checking his emails before he went to bed as per usual. Instead he collapsed onto the voluminous mattress and sunk in with a sigh.

It had nearly been a horrible day.

Nearly, because his Shizu-chan had been in it, and that made any day marginally better as far as he was concerned.

He fell asleep.

Izaya stretched like a cat when he arose the next morning. His yawn stretched his jaw wide and he cringed when he noticed his reflection in the life-size mirror that was opposite his bed.

Although he was a self-proclaimed god, and an attractive male that made men and women alike drool, he still looked less than perfect in the mornings, like every other average human.

Except Shizuo.

Izaya thought bitterly.

He looks gorgeous even with crust in his eyes.

Izaya felt embarrassed when he surveyed himself. Shizuo had seen him in this state every morning? How shameful. His hair was sticking up in every direction! Not to mention the noticeable skinniness of his body. He went through a great amount of effort to make himself look much sturdier than he really was.

Izaya shuffled out into the lounge room. He'd woken up early at three in the morning and had dazedly changed into a pair of pyjama pants, so he wasn't naked when he sat down on his favourite spinny chair. With a fine layer of sleep crust in his eye, he missed the computer button twice before finally succeeding in switching it on. He was just preparing to log in when a cup of steaming coffee was placed in front of him. "Thank you..." Izaya croaked, his throat was still scratchy.

Namie nodded to indicate she had heard before sweeping back over to her own desk. "I know it's none of my business, but usually you don't need a wakeup call. You hadn't returned home before I left last night. Did something happen?"

"Well, don't you sound like a concerned housewife?" Izaya teased.

Namie flipped her hair with a blasé expression. "I'm not concerned, just curious."

"You're more like a worrisome mother..." Izaya decided, feeling contemplative. "Do you fret over me, Namie?"

"Drink your coffee before I slip something toxic in it." Namie recommended coolly. "I was the former chief of a pharmaceutical company. Just because it has merged that doesn't mean I still don't have lots of nice experimental drugs I can test out on you."

"Ooooh, scary..." Izaya fake shuddered. "You're a frightening sight, Namie~" He picked up his mug and took a sip, relishing in the warmth it radiated.

"You might want to wipe that drool away." Namie pointed a polished finger nail at his chin. "It's disgusting how you drool. I always have to clean spittle off of your pillow."

Izaya blushed. Drooling as well? Shizuo had enough ammunition on Izaya to last him a lifetime. He really needed to find something to blackmail the blonde with in case such a time came.

Namie glanced at Izaya when he didn't respond flippantly as usual, and did a double-take. Was Izaya Orihara blushing? Surely not, he must have been flushed from the temperature. Even though he was only clad in pyjama pants, and the apartment was a little chilly. Maybe he had a fever?

Namie crossed the room and put a cool hand upon his forehead. He wasn't hot. If anything, he was a little cold. "Cover up." She instructed tersely. "Else you'll catch a cold. And I can tell you now that I won't be nursing you back to health. You're a miserable wreck when you're sick, worse than a child."

Izaya pouted, mentally urging his skin to stop being pink. "I' am not."

Namie liked to think of herself as above such juvenile bickering, so she didn't reply back with a: 'Are too!' despite how much she truly wanted to do so. That Orihara...he was such a brat.

Izaya felt triumphant when the woman stalked back over to her desk and began flipping through a thick file. He loved vexing her. She was such an interesting little human.

Izaya logged into his email without even glancing down at his computer keys. He had 120 unopened emails that had been sent yesterday afternoon and evening. He should have been answering them and working yesterday, instead of pigging out at Simon's.

At the top of his listed emails, there was one from Shiki. Izaya thinned his lips. The email's title was: Assuring alliance.

"Fuck him..." Izaya grumbled to himself. "Fucking asshole...I fucking help him for a relatively fucking low rate and assist him in fucking smuggling and I provide him with fucking information many people would fucking die for. I risk my life every day for his fucking organization and I get fucking lukewarm praise and fucking less-than-lucrative payment when I deserve much more. He thinks he's so fucking illustrious and fucking sophisticated and fucking respected. He's nothing but a fucking cowardly, self-righteous, waste of genetics!"

Namie didn't stop typing on a document she had just selected on her computer. "I have no idea how you can be so vulgar yet articulate at the same time."

"A talent many would die for." Izaya grumped. "Fuck..."

"I hope you don't speak that way around your sisters." Namie said. "Those girls have been corrupted enough."

"Unlike you, I don't have an unhealthy obsession with my siblings. I wouldn't care if they decided to become drug addicts." Izaya snapped. "If they swear like sailors, it's their choice. Neither of them are particularly ladylike." Izaya resisted the urge to punch his computer. Shiki had gall. Messaging after their confrontation so soon...

The shrill ring of a telephone shook Izaya from his murderous thoughts. Namie let it ring three times before picking it up. Despite Izaya having at least ten cell phones, and his number being relatively easy to acquire if you knew the right people, he still had a normal telephone, more as a formality than anything else. Those who called it were usually unexperienced with his sort of dealings, or those who required his services for something clean. "This is Orihara's–"

Izaya let out a whine.

Namie rolled her eyes. "-Mr. Orihara's office. May I ask who is calling?"

Izaya could barely detect a desperate voice coming from the receiver.

Most likely a missing person or a kidnapped child. A little dull.

"I see. Well, if you provide me with some contact details Mr. Orihara will get back to you."

The voice grew louder and more panicked, Namie held the phone away from her ear. "I understand your hurry. However some clients do have priority over others, and as you are a new client you will have to wait." Namie's voice was calm and composed. "In the meantime, please contact the authorities."

"– Have – nothing – help –" The voice shrieked from the phone brokenly, Izaya leant forward to hear better. "I beg you!"

"I have told you the standard procedure." Namie said.

"Please!"

Izaya stood up and bounced over to the telephone. He swiped it from Namie's hand and twirled his finger in the cord. "This is Mr. Orihara speaking."

"Mr. Orihara! I need your help urgently. Usually I would not be so pushy, but this is an emergency. My son has been kidnapped, but the cops are treating this is as a runaway!"

"How do you know he hasn't run away?" Izaya asked drolly.

"I know my son, and he would never leave home like this. He loves his family."

"I see..." Izaya already had a strong impression forming. "What time did he go missing?"

"Yesterday night, when I went to wake him in the morning his bed was empty!"

The woman was definitely hysterical.

"How can you be certain he hasn't just snuck out to attend a party? Or that he isn't at a friend's house?"

"Jimmy would never do something silly like that."

"Judging by your heavy accent and the gaudy name, I'm guessing you've got to be American. How long have you been living in Japan?"

"I don't see how this is relevant, but about a year."

"And how has little Timmy be settling in? It would be quite the culture shock, to move to a place like this..."

"Shouldn't we be focusing on the kidnapping?"

Izaya was getting annoyed. "It wasn't a kidnapping."

"What do you mean? Of course it was!"

"Were there signs of a struggle? Any evidence that points to this being an abduction?" There was a lengthy silence. "I didn't think so. Judging by what you've just told me, I'd assume that Timmy has yet to make any real friends. So that rules out the possibility of him sneaking out."

"That's exactly what I said!"

"How has Timmy been behaving lately? Withdrawn and down?"

"Why does this matter!?"

"Because your precious little Timmy has run away to try and fly back to the Land of the Free. He holds nothing but resentment for you and your spouse for making him leave his old life, and he is now trying to return to it. He's a teenager, isn't he? Most likely around sixteen...a difficult age to adapt to such a new lifestyle. I suggest you race to the nearest airport. This was so simple, I won't even ask for payment." Izaya placed the phone back down before the woman could respond. Honestly. The idiocy of some people.

"You're cruel." Namie commented. "Even to the humans you love."

Izaya walked back to his desk and continued to drink his coffee. He clicked and scrolled through his emails, brain whirring as he got into his Intel Broker mindset. It was midday when he finally completed replying to most of them. Most, because Shiki's still sits unopened and Izaya knows it wouldn't be in his best interest to delete it. So he ignores it, unable to ignore the anger he is still holding for that man. "I'm going out now." Izaya chirped after he had eaten the simple lunch Namie had prepared for him and changed into his usual outfit. "Later, Namie~" He skipped out the door.

Izaya peered through his binoculars and smirked when he saw Mikado falter yet again. The teenage boy was attempting to reach for Anri's hand, only to jerk it back at the last moment in cowardice. It was so funny to watch the conservative boy try and be bold, especially when Anri Sonohara was oblivious to the boy's silent struggle.

Izaya giggled somewhat manically as Anri unknowingly dodged one of Mikado's clumsy hands. "Are you okay, sir?" Izaya didn't glance away from the scene he was surveying at the question. The Starbucks employee drummed her fingernails impatiently on the table's surface when he didn't respond.

"I'll take a refill." Izaya told her.

"I only take orders at the counter." She said, brushing away a strand of brunette hair that had escaped from her tight bun. "Your laughing is disturbing the peace."

"I wasn't aware this was a library." Without looking, Izaya shoved his coffee mug in her direction. "Refill, now."

"I already told you –"

"Are we going to have a problem?" Izaya sighed, putting down his binoculars when Mikado accidently ran into a signpost. The brunette employee was tired and hassled looking, with bags under her eyes. "I asked for a refill. So, you'll give it to me."

"I –"

"You're so boring." Izaya said suddenly. "Just get me some more coffee."

"Fine." The girl acquiesced meekly. She trotted off.

Izaya was gone when she came back.

Izaya was passing by Russia Sushi when he was tackled to the ground. He looked up, and saw Erika beaming down at him, her hat slightly askew. "Izzy-chan!"

"Erika." Izaya replied back, a little stiffly. "Would you mind getting off?"

Erika stood back up, and leant Izaya a helping hand. Izaya accepted, and once he was standing, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder companionably. "So...how have things been going with Shizuo?"

Izaya sighed. He knew this interrogation would be coming. He'd been trying to delay it for as long as possible, avoiding Kadota's gang like they were the plague. "Fine..."

"Just fine?" Erika pressed. "Come on Izzy-chan...you can divulge all of your juicy little secrets to me...think of me as your dating counsellor!"

Dating counsellor...huh...that doesn't sound like a half bad idea.

Maybe speaking confidentially to someone who could actually help him would be beneficial. Despite being so social, he didn't have any true friends besides Shinra to speak to about private issues, and Shinra was useless at lending a listening ear.

Izaya knew that Shizuo at least had Celty, but he couldn't speak with her. The headless rider's loyalty lay in Shizuo, so Izaya couldn't exactly trust her to not repeat what he said to Shizuo.

Erika was the only person he knew that was willing to listen to him. He could always speak with Namie, but she would just make acerbic comments. "Sure." Izaya said. "But let's do this over coffee, okay?"

Izaya waltzed back into Starbucks and reclaimed his previous seat. Erika sat across from him and the unfortunate brown haired employee grit her teeth so hard they cracked. She took their orders without complaint. Erika was miffed that the girl was catering to them. Weren't they supposed to wait in line like everyone else?

"So," Erika ignored the oddness. Maybe Izaya paid her extra. "Tell me everything that's on your mind. And there must be a lot."

"There is." Izaya confirmed. "I just don't know how to behave around Shizuo anymore. Every time I see him, my happiness kind of comes naturally, but when I'm away from him, all I do is question myself and his motives."

"His motives?" Erika blinked her brown eyes. "You think he's trying to take advantage of you?"

"I just don't know..." Izaya fiddled with the rings on his fingers. "Shizuo and I have only been...together for about a week, if you can even consider us as being 'together'. The only thing we've done is –" Izaya blushed. Despite being rather open when in discussion, Izaya didn't like talking about his sex life. "– Have sex."

Erika dabbed delicately at her nose with a napkin as blood began to dribble from her nostrils. "Is that necessarily a bad thing?"

"It is when I think Shizuo is using me!" Izaya snarled, quickly becoming frustrated. Why did no one understand!? "We agreed to have a relationship, but so far I feel more like his lenient little fuck buddy then his boyfriend!"

Erika shushed him. "Quiet down, Izaya. Lest we be kicked out. Have you ever considered that Shizuo is as hapless as you are?"

"I'm not hapless." Izaya grimaced. "Just confused...Shizuo is romantically challenged, and I doubt he even knows how much I'm torturing myself right now."

"Maybe if you tell him, he might be a little more considerate of your feelings." Erika suggested. "You know Shizuo better than anyone else. You know he can be a little slow on the uptake."

"Hey, I'm the only one who can insult Shizu-chan." Izaya glowered, fingering the switchblade in his pocket. "Nevertheless, I'm the only one who's concerned. He wants to let everything play out, and I wanted to do that as well, but..."

"You always plan ahead." Erika finished. "You even have a life insurance policy. It would be near impossible for you to just sit back and wait for everything to 'play out'." A mug of coffee was placed in front of her, and she began chugging it down. "Wow! This is yummy!"

"How did you know about my life insurance policy?" Izaya regarded her beadily.

Erika waved a hand flippantly. "When I have a cute yaoi couple to obsess over, I make certain that I know the ins and outs of their lives. I also know that you've been secretly trying to engineer ootoro flavoured condoms since you hate the sweet flavoured ones Shizuo always buys."

Izaya gaped. "Have you been in my apartment?" He was certain not even Namie knew about that experiment!

"Of course she does." Erika said, as if reading Izaya's mind. "She's the one who maintains your apartment like a housekeeper."

"So she told you." Izaya harrumphed. "How much do you pay her to spy on me?"

"I don't." Erika said with a coy smile. "I merely tell her anything I know about Seji and Mika. When you get around as much as Kadota, Walker, Saburo and I do, you start to notice patterns in everyone's behaviour. I'm sure you know this."

"You're a lot more malevolent then you look." Izaya said. He felt a little impressed. "I don't know whether to fire Namie or have you rubbed out."

"You can do both if you want, but you won't have either of us to help you out." Erika said in a lilting voice. "You're nervous about the direction your relationship is heading, and you don't want things to end sour. You're naturally a control freak, so it only makes sense you're stressed about your lack of control in this situation."

"Yeah," Izaya nodded. "That sounds about right."

"Maybe you should just let go." Erika said with a warm smile. "Is it really so bad to not be in rigid control for once?"

"It is when everything is in Shizuo's favour." Izaya retorted. "Letting him remain in control could end disastrous."

"Why do you think he's the one in control? Is he a Dom?" Erika chattered excitably. "Are you his Submissive? That's hot!"

"No." Izaya shuddered. "Just no..." He was certain Shizuo would be into that sort of thing, but it was a little too soon for them to start anything up that was that kinky. Well, he thought so at least. "It just seems that he's the one making the decisions. We haven't spoken about it, but I know he's got very traditional ideals."

"PFFT!" Erika sprayed Izaya with coffee. She pounded herself on the chest and hacked. "Traditional? Are we speaking about the same fortissimo?"

Izaya picked up his own napkin and wiped away the scorching liquid that had been spat all over him. "Am I in love with another Shizu-chan?"

Wait a second.

Izaya blanched.

In love?

It's not possible...I can't love him so deeply already!

"Point made." Erika said. She was oblivious to his inner turmoil. "But Shizuo is the farthest thing from traditional. He's in a homosexual relationship with the guy he's been trying to kill since high school."

"Shizuo thinks he can just boss me around like I'm some woman." Izaya grumped. "He never lets me top."

"Would you even enjoy topping?" Erika asked, with a roll of her eyes. "You don't seem like much of a topper to me."

"I'm way smarter than the blonde, and also better attuned to feelings!"

"But do you have the sheer nerve?" Erika said, slurping impolitely on her coffee. "Shizu-chan is strong and masculine, and he'd never allow another man, especially you, to top him."

"I'm strong and masculine." Izaya said sulkily.

"You are strong," Erika acknowledged. "But as far as masculine goes, you don't even need to shave, and women are not attracted to you."

"But I've got a more dominant personality?" It came out as more of a question, and Erika giggled.

"You both have very dominant personalities. I bet Shizu-chan is the only man who has ever topped you."

There was a long pause, and Izaya sighed. "No, that isn't true. I actually prefer being bottom. I've always topped from the bottom with others."

"See? Then there's no reason to be offended! Why get pissed off about something that you don't even really mind? As long as you are both satisfied, does it really matter?"

"Back to the decision making," Izaya backtracked. "Since I'm constantly questioning myself like some insecure twit, he just keeps breezing along unhindered, amused with how he's the one in control of a situation and not me. It's unfair."

"You're totally overanalysing." Erika told him. "Maybe you guys need to go at a slower pace so you're not overwhelmed. I think you just need some assurance that Shizuo isn't just messing with you, and that he actually wants to be in a relationship with you. Have you talked about this with him?"

"We haven't spoken since that night last week." Izaya admitted sheepishly. "All we do is make-out and fuck."

"Well, my advice is to try doing some stuff normal couples do. Just because you guys are different it doesn't mean you can't go on dates or spend time doing something other than having sex. It'll be easier than you think."

Izaya pondered. He remembered the playful kiss, and the way Shizuo tended to lapse into more 'boyfriend' behaviour when he was relaxed.

This was going to be difficult. Izaya wanted Shizuo and he to be a little more average, but enraging Shizuo was still one of favourite hobbies. He would have to find a balance between the two.

Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this. But I know breaking our 'relationship' off would be depressing. And I really am enjoying the new dynamics when I'm not worrying.

"Another thing," Izaya started nervously. "Is it normal to feel undeserving?"

"You're becoming more human every day."

Across town, in a similar coffee haunt, Shizuo Heiwajima was consulting Celty Sturluson. The bakery they sat in smelt heavily of icing and breads, and he was gulping down a fresh strawberry milkshake. Celty herself didn't bother with pretences, and was just watching patiently. They hadn't been there long, but she knew Shizuo would spill his guts soon. "The flea is sensitive." He finally said, wiping away his milk moustache. "Usually he's so flippant and dismissive, but ever since we've started up this relationship, it's been like he's grown ovaries."

Celty didn't have a head, but he could tell that if she did, she would be giving him a disapproving look. [That's offensive to women, Shizuo.]

"Right it was sexist, sorry."

[It's fine. Izaya doesn't have a tendency to be sensitive, so I can see why this is bothering you. Can you describe his sensitivity a little better?]

"Well..." Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck. "Whenever I joke around with him, he gets all huffy."

Celty's shoulders shook in silent laughter. [Of course he does. He doesn't like being mocked, Shizuo. You should know that. He's used to being the one to make jokes, not being the one on the receiving end of them.]

"He also gets offended easily. Two days ago I made a comment about not being able to waste time with him, and he got disheartened."

This time, the look Celty would have angled him with – if her head had not been absent – would have been exasperation. [You know how competitive he is. He wants to be prioritized above everything else, and know you appreciate him and don't just see him as a hindrance.]

"But he is a hindrance." Shizuo growled.

[But he's also your lover.] Celty reminded. [I can't deny that he's a pest, but if you two are in a relationship, you have to view him as more than that.]

"I do," Shizuo reached for his packet of cigarettes, before realizing he couldn't smoke inside. The bakery's owner, a stooped woman with stretched skin, glanced over at him with a forbidding look. "He's my lover. I care about him, on some twisted level, and against my better judgement."

[Show him.] Celty's pale fingers typed expertly. [He can't know how you feel if you don't show him.]

"Shouldn't you be instructing me to tell him?" Shizuo questioned with a risen dark eyebrow.

[No. I have a feeling if you tried to tell him it would just turn into an argument. You've always been better at expressing yourself through actions.]

"How should I show him?"

[Through something that isn't sex.]

Shizuo deflated. How was he supposed to show him?

Celty had not been planning to give Shizuo any ideas, but she took pity on him. [Ask him on a date.]

"A date?" Shizuo recoiled at the idea. "You want me to take the flea on a date!?"

[How can you be so opposed to the idea? Are you ashamed of him?]

"I just never thought I'd have to take the flea out." Shizuo was feeling queasy. "Isn't that the sort of thing normal couples do?"

[You two aren't pariahs. You don't have to be exempt from doing average things. Izaya might like to go on a date with you. It would be a good way to communicate outside of the bedroom.]

"If Izaya wanted to go on a date, wouldn't he just ask me?" Shizuo's mind was boggled. "He's tenacious, and he knows how to get what he wants."

[Maybe he's waiting for you to ask.]

"Coward," Shizuo insulted. "He's always been a coward."

[Maybe he hasn't considered the possibility.]

"Or maybe he's just a no-good, pathetic, wuss." Shizuo proclaimed stubbornly.

[From what you've told me, I think Izaya may think you're using him.]

"Aren't we using each other for mutual benefit?"

[Shizuo, you need to answer this honestly. Do you only see him as a sex partner? Or do you see him as something more?]

Shizuo remembered the contentedness he often felt around the flea, how happy he felt when Izaya wanted to be around him, how elated he felt knowing that someone relied on him. Did he only desire Izaya as a sex buddy? Or did he want more? "I want more." Shizuo answered his own question. "I have too, right? The other morning I was worried for him when he spoke of a meeting he had to attend. I know the flea is involved in some nasty business; he must have dozens of enemies. I was concerned he may be hurt."

[You obviously care about him.] Celty reached across the table and grasped one of his hands. [I feel the same way whenever Shinra has to perform operations on lowlifes. Okay...we've established that you love him -]

"Love, I don't love him!" Shizuo said furiously. "It is way too soon for us to love one another!"

[Okay, okay,] Celty typed hurriedly, trying to appease him. [Now that we've established you care about him, let's focus on trying to rid Izaya of the notion that you're only using him. He needs some reassurance, so definitely take him on a date, or at least do something special. He's a planner, so he's probably busy worrying about what the future holds, show him you don't intend on doing anything malicious with him -]

"I can't promise him that." Shizuo said. "I might kill him one day."

[- Try and get him to relax.] Celty continued, as if she had not been interrupted. [Try your best not to make thoughtless comments all of the time. Stretch to him that he has a choice as well, Izaya has never relinquished some of his control to anyone before, so be grateful and gentle and don't hurt his feelings so bad that he'll stab you.]

"Gee, thanks." Shizuo said dryly.

[Don't make the mistake of thinking he's manipulating you either.] Celty squeezed his hand. [He'd never go this far to mess with you.]

Shizuo felt relieved. He'd been worrying about that.

[And most of all do NOT-] She put emphasis on NOT by underlining it. [- Listen to any advice Shinra may give you. Also, don't try and force yourself to be the typical boyfriend. Just try and incorporate some normalcy into your relationship. I'm sure that everything will turn out fine. :)]

"Thanks Celty." Shizuo was feeling better already. The headless woman was so lovely. Shinra was lucky to have her. "But I have one more question for you."

[What is it?]

"Is it normal to feel undeserving?"

[I don't know how Izaya could have ever considered you inhuman.]

Yeah, the Call Me Maybe was extremely cheesy, but it made me laugh. Is it just me, or does anyone else find the thought of Izaya dancing to that song completely hilarious? Maybe it's just me...

Once again, it's a pretty lame and weak ending. I'm sorry. This chapter was pretty action packed for me, but next chapter there is a lot more Shizuo and Izaya interaction! Also, Shiki was mentioned in this chapter. He and Izaya will NOT have anything romantic going on. There is no love triangle here.

Please tell me what you think. If you have any suggestions or objections, I'll be delighted to hear them. Don't worry though. I'm not review ransoming (you don't have to review to make me update)

Before I finish this up, I will implore anyone who already hasn't, to read the IMPORTANT part of the Authors Note up above the beginning of this chapter.

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed/faved/followed! I sincerely hope this lived up to any expectations you may have had. Adios Peeps! ^_^